James Burleigh
Well-known member
Okay, let’s start with the fundamentals. Here we have the Poster Child for Heart Disease:
High cholesterol? Yes
Beltline exceed 36 inches? :yes:
Smoke? Oh yeah.
Enjoys a drink (or two three)? This is Richard we're talkin' about.
Loves a donut for breakfast? “Is there any other kind of breakfast?”
Exercise? Does *** count? Then no.
High blood pressure? Yes.
Handsome? :no2: :sicksmiley02:
And here we have the Poster Child for Heart-Healthy Living:
High cholesterol? No
Beltline exceeds 36 inches? Never in life.
Smoke? Only at regional FJR gatherings. Say, a pack a year.
Enjoys a drink? Only the nightly glass of red wine prescribed by his doctor.
Loves a donut for breakfast? Not since granola was invented.
Exercise? Natch.
High blood pressure? Just a wee bit….
Handsome? What? Are you kidding me!
So who gets the heart attack? <_<
‘Twas the day before Thanksgiving. Fang and our daughter Em (21) had left by 7:45 AM to take care of Fang’s mom a couple of miles away. I had gotten up early with Fang to make her breakfast, since she was on crutches from her October 2nd Achilles tendon injury received while dancing in an embarrassing way at her niece’s wedding in Chico.
After they left I puttered around, planning to spend the day working on an oil painting. At around 8:30, while sitting at the computer, I became aware of a pain in the center of my chest—the same pain I felt every time I climbed the steep hill near our house on walks with Fang, only stronger and persistent.
I ignored it at first, figuring it would go away. I got up a couple of times to go into the kitchen or bathroom, and each time I did so the pain increased from the activity. I sat down and took some deep breaths, trying to relax and ease the pain. It receded slightly, then returned. Pretty soon I could no longer focus on any activities: the pain became strong enough that it dominated my attention.
I now started to wonder: “Am I having a heart attack? Or is this just bad heart burn? I have been eating a lot of crap over the Thanksgiving holiday, and I have read that heart burn can be mistaken for a heart attack….”
But I’d never had heart burn in my life; don’t even know what it is. Nor had I ever felt the kind of prolonged pain I was now having right where I would have pointed to in my chest if asked where I thought my heart was. I started to think about the possibility that I was going to keel over right where I sat. Was I dressed properly?
And yet I wasn’t feeling any of those famous stabbing pains down my left arm. I went to the computer and looked up “symptoms of a heart attach.” I landed on a site by the American Heart Association. The first warning sign mentioned was “Chest discomfort,” with the explanation that “Most heart attacks involve discomfort in the center of the chest that lasts more than a few minutes, or that goes away and comes back. It can feel like uncomfortable pressure, squeezing, fullness or pain.”
“Okay. Affirmative. F**k. I’d better make the call.” This was about an hour after first experiencing the chest pain.
I got out my cell phone (we had cancelled our land line months earlier) and punched in 911. I stared at the “911” on my phone screen, then at the green send button, thinking, “Okay. If you push that button you’re gonna start a chain reaction that can’t be undone. The fire trucks with the lights and sirens are going to come to your door, and you will no longer be in control of what happens next. And if it’s just heart burn, then you’ll have wasted all those nice people’s time when they could be out there saving lives.”
I pushed the button.
Next: How many men in blue uniforms can squeeze into JB's living room? :blink:
High cholesterol? Yes
Beltline exceed 36 inches? :yes:
Smoke? Oh yeah.
Enjoys a drink (or two three)? This is Richard we're talkin' about.
Loves a donut for breakfast? “Is there any other kind of breakfast?”
Exercise? Does *** count? Then no.
High blood pressure? Yes.
Handsome? :no2: :sicksmiley02:
And here we have the Poster Child for Heart-Healthy Living:
High cholesterol? No
Beltline exceeds 36 inches? Never in life.
Smoke? Only at regional FJR gatherings. Say, a pack a year.
Enjoys a drink? Only the nightly glass of red wine prescribed by his doctor.
Loves a donut for breakfast? Not since granola was invented.
Exercise? Natch.
High blood pressure? Just a wee bit….
Handsome? What? Are you kidding me!
So who gets the heart attack? <_<
‘Twas the day before Thanksgiving. Fang and our daughter Em (21) had left by 7:45 AM to take care of Fang’s mom a couple of miles away. I had gotten up early with Fang to make her breakfast, since she was on crutches from her October 2nd Achilles tendon injury received while dancing in an embarrassing way at her niece’s wedding in Chico.
After they left I puttered around, planning to spend the day working on an oil painting. At around 8:30, while sitting at the computer, I became aware of a pain in the center of my chest—the same pain I felt every time I climbed the steep hill near our house on walks with Fang, only stronger and persistent.
I ignored it at first, figuring it would go away. I got up a couple of times to go into the kitchen or bathroom, and each time I did so the pain increased from the activity. I sat down and took some deep breaths, trying to relax and ease the pain. It receded slightly, then returned. Pretty soon I could no longer focus on any activities: the pain became strong enough that it dominated my attention.
I now started to wonder: “Am I having a heart attack? Or is this just bad heart burn? I have been eating a lot of crap over the Thanksgiving holiday, and I have read that heart burn can be mistaken for a heart attack….”
But I’d never had heart burn in my life; don’t even know what it is. Nor had I ever felt the kind of prolonged pain I was now having right where I would have pointed to in my chest if asked where I thought my heart was. I started to think about the possibility that I was going to keel over right where I sat. Was I dressed properly?
And yet I wasn’t feeling any of those famous stabbing pains down my left arm. I went to the computer and looked up “symptoms of a heart attach.” I landed on a site by the American Heart Association. The first warning sign mentioned was “Chest discomfort,” with the explanation that “Most heart attacks involve discomfort in the center of the chest that lasts more than a few minutes, or that goes away and comes back. It can feel like uncomfortable pressure, squeezing, fullness or pain.”
“Okay. Affirmative. F**k. I’d better make the call.” This was about an hour after first experiencing the chest pain.
I got out my cell phone (we had cancelled our land line months earlier) and punched in 911. I stared at the “911” on my phone screen, then at the green send button, thinking, “Okay. If you push that button you’re gonna start a chain reaction that can’t be undone. The fire trucks with the lights and sirens are going to come to your door, and you will no longer be in control of what happens next. And if it’s just heart burn, then you’ll have wasted all those nice people’s time when they could be out there saving lives.”
I pushed the button.
Next: How many men in blue uniforms can squeeze into JB's living room? :blink:
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