Joke, OK I know its bad....but it made me grin

[feejer222]

A man is dining in a fancy restaurant and there is a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table. He has been checking her out since he sat down, but lacks the nerve to talk with her.

Suddenly she sneezes, and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket toward the man.

He reflexively reaches out, grabs it out of the air, and hands it back.

'Oh my, I am so sorry,' the woman says as she pops her eye back in place.

'I'm sure that must have embarrassed you so let me pay for your dinner to make it up to you,' she says.

They enjoy a wonderful dinner together, and afterwards they go to the theatre followed by drinks. They talk, they laugh, she shares her deepest dreams and he listens, he shares his and she listens.

After paying for everything, she asks him if he would like to come to her place for a nightcap and stay for breakfast.

They have a wonderful, wonderful time.

The next morning, she cooks a gourmet breakfast with all the trimmings . The guy is amazed and totally impressed.

Everything had been SO incredible!

'You know,' he said, 'you are the perfect woman. Are you this nice to every guy you meet? '

'No,' she replies. . . . . .

'You just happened to catch my eye.'

 

[keithaba]

hardee har har....

 

[Honzo]

THat could have been shorter.

 

[TriggerT]

Did you hear that while hanging out on the playground?

 

[JimLor]

Outfrigginstanding!! They're called oldies but goodies for a reason! Thanks.

 

[wfooshee]

THat could have been shorter.

Ah, the best ones are always the long ones. Too short and there's no effect.

Follows, a true story:

Some years ago my car was broken into by some lowlife who wanted my stereo. They broke the driver's window, but that is the only damage they did. They very carefully removed, without cutting cables or breaking trim, my head unit, the separate CD player, two amplifiers under the passenger seat, and all the interconnect cables.

They left the speakers, as they couldn't get into the trunk or deep enough into the dash.

Needless to say I was quite distraught the next morning on discovering the crime scene. I had one of the first car CD players in town. It was primitive enough you had to load the CD into a tray first (a "caddy") then stick the tray into the player. Nonetheless, I liked it, it played well, and I was pissed that it was gone. I can't describe how I felt.

Oddly enough, the stereo was ALL they wanted. A case with 30 or 40 CDs was left in the car, as was my toolbox, and a camera bag with 2 SLRs, 3 lenses and 2 flash units. These were all in the passenger compartment, plainly visible, even had to be moved to get to some of the stereo components!

I had applied sun tint to the windows, as is the custom here in Florida. Knowing that I was going to have to retint just one window, I was careful to buy the exact same brand and grade of tint that I had used before, so it would match.

Replacement window finally comes, gets installed, and I take the car home and apply my tint film.

Next day I'm driving around, and I notice that the new window is still different from the others. Apparently the replacement glass itself was not an exact tint match for the original glass, so matching the sun tint did me no good at all.

So there I am, looking out the right side window, then the left, seeing proof that the glass is greener on the other side.

 

[7xray]

So there I am, looking out the right side window, then the left, seeing proof that the glass is greener on the other side.

Groan. :grin:

 

[suicideman]

I think I know that babe. I definitly know her if it was her right eye that popped out! :assassin: