Just Throw the Plan in the Trash and Go

[hppants]

WARNING – This ride report contains tastefully disguised adult language and partial nudity. Reader discretion is advised.

It’s been a long and hot summer and I’ve been itching to do a bike tour since… well….whenever it was that I returned from my last bike tour. I had a ridiculously hard month at work, and with some north wind finally dipping into the Deep South, I could wait no longer. My good friend Loki was also ready for a run, so we decided to give it a go. We kicked around a few ideas, but in the end, we decided to go to the Ozark Mountains in Arkansas.

If you’ve never been tent camping on a motorcycle, you may be missing out on the best part of it. Seriously, get yourself a tent and a bag and go find yourself. You can thank me later.

All told, it was just a shade over 1600 miles over 6 days. Not surprisingly, my FJR and Loki’s Nighthawk (with 90,000 miles on it) ran flawlessly except for 1 slight calculation error on my part which I will get into later. My fuel mileage varied between a low of 39.5 mpg during a very “spirited” slab run on the way home to a high of about 47 achieved during a leisurely afternoon ride. I left the house with a rear tire that was well past ½ worn, and by the time I got home, it was cooked.

Now here’s the best part.

I’m a planner –been one since I was a very young kid. It comforts me to know what’s ahead. Loki challenged me on this trip. “Throw the plan in the trash. Let’s just go wherever we want to go.” Reluctantly, I conceded and OM friggin G – what a great decision that was. The “unknowing” proved to be very exciting. I can’t say I will do every trip this way, but I have to admit, I could get used to this.

The weather was forecast to be crappy and rainy for 3 of the 6 days. Loki doesn’t mind riding in the rain, but frankly, I hate it. None the less, I decided to go regardless and boy was I thankful I did. Because we had no plan – all we had to do was check the radar first thing in the morning. Big time rain coming from our southwest? No problem – let’s head North. And so it went – on Saturday for about 10 minutes, we got what amounted to about 15 drops of sprinkle. Otherwise, it was partly to mostly cloudy with highs 70-80 and over night lows 50-60. I’ll take it.

So enough blabber - the world is a big beautiful place. If you don’t believe me, by all means, dump the clutch and go find out for yourself. Hope you enjoy the pics.

Day 1 – Thursday.

I worked until noon because the freaking real world just couldn’t do without me. But by 2:00 pm, I’m geared up and heading north on the big I-49 slab. Loki had to work a full day, and was not leaving Baton Rouge until 5:30 pm. We decided to meet at the Kistachie Scenic Byway to camp for the first night. With only about 150 miles to go, I was in no hurry. None the less, I struck my first animal on a motorcycle. Poor squirrel never knew what hit him. Pressing on, I picked this campground (a favorite of mine):

Choosing a site wasn’t hard – look what the previous campers left for me? No work gathering fire wood required!

With Loki still hours away, I made the best of it with my essentials…

After dark, Loki arrived and we spent a couple hours sitting by the fire.

Day 2 – Friday

The next morning, under some patchy dense fog, we break camp and ease out of the camp ground.

Heading north, we make an essential stop in Bossier City, Louisiana near the Arkansas border.

You see, most of the great people of Arkansas don’t sell adult beverages and dammit, Loki and I like them. Loki chose this one cause he liked the bottle shape, but it also tasted real smooth.

For Pants, it’s well known that until you break out the fermented agave, the party hasn’t truly started.

Continuing north, we stopped in Hope Arkansas right at lunch time. What a friendly name for a business.

Loki chose pizza and since I’m on vacation, I’ll have the fried catfish, thank you very much. Delicious.

Checking the map, we decided to head to the Ouachita Mountains, winding our way through the back curvy roads less traveled. If you look closely, you can see the first group of peaks in the distance.

We stopped in Mena, Arkansas for some groceries.

Then it’s on to the Talimena Skyway, a fantastic twisty road that rides on the ridge of the Ouachitas.

https://www.talimenascenicdrive.com/

We chose to camp at the State park there.

Nice camp ground but it is right on the highway and I was concerned about road noise. However after dark, the traffic is non-existent and the sleeping was peaceful.

With still plenty of day light left, we unloaded the bikes and hit the skyway. Beautiful views up there…

This Cooper’s Hawk flew right into Loki’s windscreen. With a shattered wing and broken leg, it was suffering and obviously in shock. Not wanting it to suffer, Loki did the right thing. I plucked 2 of its tail feathers as a memory for us and we continued on.

We are not in the south Louisiana swamp anymore

Wonder what’s around that mountain? Well the road’s right there, let’s go find out!!

Good times

Now it’s starting to get late, and not wanting to challenge any forest rats, we decided to head back to camp. These lovely ladies prepared dinner for us.

We all just want to be big rock stars!!! (I’ll have the quesadilla)

After dark, these guys were really loud but it was a pleasant white noise.

Loki taught me how to play dominos. I need more practice…

 

[hppants]

Day 3 – Saturday

Today is Loki’s birthday - 39 and holding. I didn’t get him a gift, but I can already tell it’s gonna be a good one. Up a little past first light, I stoked the camp fire and then we got working on breakfast. I’m in charge of coffee...

…. while Loki prepares his famous “camp eggs”. Man, that was good stuff.

A quick check of the radar shows that there’s no rain to our northeast, so that’s where we go. Once you get north of the Hope/Hot Springs area, if it’s good riding you crave, it matters not where you go – all of the roads are smooth and twisty.

Uh….nope. Not on the FJR, thank you.

We pulled into the town of Plainview and as luck would have it, today is the Pioneer Fair! Yippie.

Over compensation?

These people take their BBQ seriously.

We walk around and check out the festivities

I’ll take my horses with brakes and a key switch.

Good clean fun.

No Loki – another day, we’ve got more riding to do…

Back on the bikes, we press north to Mt. Nebo. I went there earlier this year and really liked it – good views.

I’ve seen hang gliders launch from this site, but not today.

Happy birthday, my brother. We are living like kings.

Back down from Mt. Nebo, we turn north in Russelville and onto the famous Scenic Highway 7

https://www.arkansas.com/places-to-go/scenic-byways/scenic-seven/

This is a glass smooth curvy road with tons of grip and a wide shoulder that is an absolute hoot to ride. I’ve ridden it many times and it never disappoints. No pics from my camera, but it was about 50 miles of this

Great views along the way – you can see the very beginning of the leaf change in the valleys.

We ended up in the town of Jasper, Arkansas. While gassing up among about 20 pirates er… Harley riders, we asked about camping. Someone suggested Dogwood Springs.

Think Jellystone for Captain Hook - not gonna happen. So I swallowed my pride and politely asked the clerk if he knew of something quieter. He suggested we camp on the Buffalo River. Sweet!! We ended up here:

Since it’s not rafting season, we have the entire campground to ourselves.

This place is gorgeous

We fix ourselves a nice tottie and put our feet in the river.

This is big, man. Really big.

While Loki walked back to the camp to get something, I was convinced that I saw an eagle soaring over head. Thanks to the magic of a telephoto lens, we now that I’m not much of a birder.

With the sun starting to set, while Loki starts the camp fire, I walked over to the adjacent field to stand and be thankful for my blessings.

By now, we have made very good use of happy hour and it’s time for a little birthday meal - steaks on the open fire. Loki’s having a nice t-bone, while I prefer the ribeye.

After dinner, we sat around the fire to discuss the meaning of life.

I can’t believe it can get any better, but trust me….it does.

 

[hppants]

Day 4 – Sunday

By now, the real world is a million miles away. I haven’t had cell service in 3 FRIGGIN DAYS!!! Holy crap am I having fun. Up early and well rested, we get started on breakfast. Camp eggs again, but this time we complement them with fresh fruit. Since I’m living dangerously, I throw caution to the wind and have chocolate milk.

Then we break camp, check the radar, and decide to ride along the Buffalo River gorge a while. Uh… yep – this way will do nicely.

A little smoke on the mountain peaks this morning.

Hang on Loki – I’ll be right there.

Breathtaking

Kind people, we thank you for the signage. But you obviously don’t know Loki very well. He lives to take chances.

We continue west on Hwy 74 along the Buffalo and end up in Ponca. I see an interesting sign and we stop.

Elk were re-introduced to the Ozarks recently and their numbers appear to be growing.

We learned about the local wildlife.

We read about some recent local elk sightings, so we decided to ride gingerly in that direction to see what we could see. The scenery is still beautiful.

Here’s where elk and other wildlife have recently been spotted. Depending on your perspective – we had either no such luck, or incredible luck. We lived to tell about it.

So we turned south on our beloved Hwy 7 toward a camp ground that Loki want to stay at. “It will be great – there’s a water fall we can sit on.” And then the disclaimer – “Now there’s just this one thing. To get to the campground, we have to cross a creek, but it’s usually shallow.” On an FJR? To say I was nervous was an understatement, but I was in my Zen and going with the flow, sort-o-speak.

Turns out I was worried over nothing. The dry summer dried up the creek. The FJR dual-sport handled the crossing with ease.

This is our home for the evening.

I can see why Loki likes this place.

With camp set up near the waterfall, we found ourselves at mid-afternoon. Since we are eating 2000 calories for breakfast, we are skipping lunch. None the less, I found myself with a sweet tooth. So I asked Loki – “Hey, how about a nice slice of pie? It’s only about 35 miles away.” So, we geared up and hit the roller coaster.

20 mph? Yeah right – I hadn’t seen 20 mph on a twisty in almost 1000 miles!

I led Loki to a great secret smack dab in the middle of no where.

The Oark Store is a wonderful place for bikers to stop and enjoy a treat.

https://www.oarkgeneralstore.com

And pie is the order for today. Too many choices – too little stomach.

We decided to split two pieces so that we could taste 2 flavors. 1st course is blueberry – wow.

Next up – cherry, hot from the oven.

Ahem….go ahead and pause the ride report and wipe that drool off your mouth. I’ll wait for you to continue….

OK – better? Let’s get back to riding.

With a belly full of carbs, we geared up and headed toward Clarksville. There’s a mountain on the way with a series of 10 mph switch backs. We decided to play leap frog and photograph each other. Loki’s got mad skills with that nighthawk.

This is normally my view of Loki… if I can even see him at all. The guy rides on a rail I tell ya.

Looking through the turn….

Now down in the valley, the view is no less stunning.

We stop at Clarksville for gas and groceries, and take the leisurely ride back to the camp. I changed into my shorts, fixed myself a cocktail, grabbed my chair, and walked to the creek.

If you would have told me 5 years ago that I’d be living like this, I never would have believed you.

The sun sets as it always does and it’s time for vittles (that’s redneck for “food”, I think). Tonite’s menu – pork chops! This is razorback country, after all.

After dinner, we call it an early night and resolve to a peaceful slumber.

Day 5 – Monday

Having gone to sleep early, I wake up early refreshed and excited again about my yet unknown upcoming adventure. The birds are also up early, singing their morning songs along the creek bank.

This morning, we will have toasted bagels.

Loki selects classic cream cheese on his, while I prefer honey peanut butter on mine. Cheerio, ‘ole Chap.

After breakfast, we break camp. We ignore the “no motorized vehicles” sign and ride down to the waterfall for a group shot. I’ve got to adjust the timer on my camera – I had to sprint over to make the picture in time. But it was worth it.

Loki decided he had to jump across the creek – my shutter finger is a little slow….

Keeping our “lack of plan”, we decided to at least start heading south. We are nearly 600 miles from home now, so we should at least wander in that general direction. We decided to tour a few camp sites along the way for future reference. Along the Mulberry River, this one is called Wolfpen

And this one is called Redding.

Both are primitive, but offer restroom facilities. Redding also has a bath house. But there is no electricity and no water.

Over 1000 miles of this – I’m in HAWG HEAVEN!!! …

Soon we turn South on the famous Pig Trail.

https://motorcycleroads.com/75/20/Arkansas/Arkansas-Pig-Trail---Arkansas-23.html

For most of the trail, the road is fully shaded and it makes a great warm weather ride.

Crossing I-40, we connected with Hwy 309, otherwise known as “The Little Dragon”, and we rode the roller coaster up to Mt. Magazine State Park.

Quite a bit cooler on top the mountain. The view is nice there.

We met a Catholic Priest there and I asked for a blessing. Hey – I need all the help I can get.

We rode off the mountain and into the town of Danville – population “decent sized”. I decided I wanted to drink beer tonite (4 straight days of Tequila is kind of pushing it for even Pants). I asked a local Old Timer where I could buy beer. “Closest alcohol is in Hot Springs – about 50 miles south.”

Well all righty then, looks like we are heading south! We found our beloved Scenic Hwy 7 and Loki was riding like a Banshee. I was pushing my big girl as hard as I could and still feel safe. We were burning gasoline like it was going out of style.

We stopped along the way at an old CCC camp.

Very quickly, we found Hot Springs, where we stopped for beer and groceries. By this time I’m on reserve, but this place is crowded. Every gas pump has 2 people waiting. We decided to ride on the North side of Lake Ouachita and get gas somewhere on the way.

I mean, Lake Ouachita is a huge bass lake – there has to be places to re-fuel boats and trucks right?

Nope.

Thirty-five miles later we cruise into the town of Story, Arkansas, population 162. There are exactly 2 stores on THE corner of the town. Both had gas pumps…that looked like this:

By now I figure I’m just about empty. So I walk into this store:

….where I find….no one. The place is empty. I could just help myself if I wanted to. As I’m walking out, a short pleasant looking lady walks up to me:

(Lady) “Sorry, I was across the street at the other store”

(Pants, thinking) “WTF”

(Lady) “We own both stores and my daughter took the day off so I’m running both stores.

(Pants) “I’m almost out of gas”

(Lady) “The closest gas is in Mount Ada – it’s 11 miles down the road. Ya’ll camping on those motorcycles?”

(Pants) “Yes – and we are looking for a campground too”

(Lady) “Ya’ll should camp down at WaSHITa.” (yep – she pronounced it that way)

(Pants) “What did you just say?”

(Lady) “Washita – it’s 3 miles from here on the way to Mount Ada. At the stop sign, you will see the river bridge. To your left there’s a dirt road. Take it toward the river and you will see the camp ground. No one camps there because a few years ago, the weather broke the brown sign and they never replaced it. We all know about the place, but we live there – we don’t need to camp.”

(Pants) “Ok – thanks.”

So now, I’m easing on the throttle and my bike is acting like “What the hell? Just a hour ago, you were ringing my friggin neck to keep up with that mad man and his black beast. Now, you want to save fuel?”

Sure enough, 3 miles down the road, we find the dirt road and then the camp ground. And boy am I glad we did. Uh…yep, this will do nicely - right on the Ouachita River.

We set up camp and it’s now time to find Mount Ada cause I need gas and my beer needs ice. As I round the last curve before the town stop sign, my bike farted. I pulled the clutch and coasted into a gas station only to learn that it closed at 5:00 pm (I $hit you not – it was 5:06 pm). We asked a wanderer where the nearest gas was – about another mile down the road. My bike started, but wouldn’t go more than about 300 feet, where I coasted into this little establishment.

I walked into the dispatch office and woke up Barney Fife from what must have been a doozy of a nap cause he had drool rolling out of his mouth. He loaned me a gas can and I rode bitch on the back of Loki’s bike to get gas. I’m about 6’-1” and 210 pounds – Loki’s goes about 5’5” on a good day. Are we having fun yet? Yee haa!

Thirty minutes later, we are stocked with gas and ice and heading back to the camp. No harm, no foul

Back at the camp, Loki is getting the fire started.

Loki thought he spotted the rare and elusive Albino almost-Hairless Sasquatch, but upon closer examination, it was just me taking a much-needed bath.

 

[hppants]

On the menu this evening will be gourmet cheeseburgers…

…complemented with a spinach salad that has a dressing with a lot of words in it. The wordy ones are always good.

Apparently, tonite is Movie Night. Cool – I love this one!

After the movie, we sat by the fire and laughed about our adventure. Later, as I lie in my tent, I thought about how I wished I had another week to play, instead of going home tomorrow. Still, I thanked my lucky stars (as I gazed at them in the sky) for my good fortune.

Day 6 - Tuesday

Slept in a bit this morning – must be about 7:00 am. The river is calm and fish are jumping everywhere. Wish I had brought my fishing pole.

I could feel the real world pulling me south, so after breakfast (toasted bagels again), we broke camp for the last time. One more shot by the river before we take off.

Still nearly 400 miles from home, this time our route is a bit more direct. We did stop at Lake DeGrey to stretch our legs. Like everywhere, the water this year is very low.

From there, for the most part, it was ax to the grind stone. We hit the super slab heading south about 150 miles from home. In Alexandria, Louisiana, Loki and I split ways with him heading southeast toward Baton Rouge, and I due south to Lafayette. We both arrived safely at home around 6:30 pm.

Now I ask you – does this picture depict someone that is passionate about motorcycling?

I say no way – this one does.

As does this one…

I conclude by encouraging all of you to get out, ride places, eat things, and enjoy your world. And if your better judgment will allow it, throw the plan in the trash. There’s no telling what’s around the next corner.

Ride safe and stay thirsty, my friends…

 

[Top_Speed1]

WARNING – This ride report contains tastefully disguised adult language and partial nudity. Reader discretion is advised.

Your in the right place.

Nice ride report! You 2 guys sure know how to make ruff'n-it look good. I may have passed on the ChefboyRdee tho :dribble:

 

[Mihalis fjr]

Great pictures!!

Thanks for sharing with us!!

 

[garyahouse]

UGGHH

I gotta sit here and endure reading all this and looking at these wonderful pictures while I'm sitting at my desk, with the cage in the parking lot, and there's BIG TIME rain coming in this afternoon, after I get outa work. Got nothing but more rain coming in this weekend. UGGGH again.

I'm not happy.

Gary

darksider #44

 

[TomInPA]

Thanks for the momentary escape from the "real world". Good RR.

 

[tigerpaw78]

Thanks for sharing. I hope to get to Arkansas soon.

 

[Bugnatr]

Mighty fine report.

 

[SacramentoMike]

Enjoyed that a lot, Pants. The SE is the only part of the country I haven't seen, and on an FJR is how I'd like to see it. Your RR helped. Totally agree about motorcycle camping, and about no-itinerary travel in general. You guys seemed to eat very well for campers. I don't carry many pans and utensils, myself, but it adds a lot to your meal options if you can. Still, a couple recommendations for extra space. Suggest one of these (collapsible coffee cone)

and some of these. Cooks in the foil bag with just boiling water, various brands and varieties--Available all over.

Enjoy your next trip--wherever you go, plan to go, or just end up.

 

[user 28803]

Thanks for the momentary escape from the "real world". Good RR.

+1 !!

 

[MEM]

Holy smoley!

My Dream Ride - right down to the feet in the river

One of these days .....

Thanks, hppants!

 

[Intech]

Awesome ride report. I have experienced rides like that with my brother. We are planning on doing one like that next year.

 

[hppants]

I'm glad you enjoyed reading my report, but trust me, LIVING it was a lot more fun.

Nice ride report! You 2 guys sure know how to make ruff'n-it look good. I may have passed on the ChefboyRdee tho

It's funny how this goes. At home, I wouldn't touch this stuff. But in the woods, when there's nothing else to eat, somehow, it's OK.

I hope to get to Arkansas soon.

Do try if you can. The roads there are not as technical as, say... Western North Carolina, or North Georgia. However, they are very twisty and very well maintained. What I really like about the AR roads is that the shoulder is wide and the tree line is a good bit away from the road. This gives the rider a chance to see what's around the curve before the apex - if that makes sense.

Suggest one of these (collapsible coffee cone)

Nice idea!! Loki has far more experience than I with motorcycle camping. I did make a few mental notes to upgrade some of my equipment. Practice makes perfect!!

My Dream Ride - right down to the feet in the river

Sitting by the Buffalo River with a cocktail, my pipe and my feet wet was clearly a highlight of the trip. The running water really relaxed me.

Hope all of you get a chance to get out and ride soon.

 

[Boomer612]

You have come close to writing the perfect ride report. It has it all......

great story, tent camping, adult beverages, unique places, food ****, nice pictures, birthdays,

camp eggs, pick-up trucks, BBQ, Steaks, pie, Elk, fording a dry creek, eagles soaring (ha-ha)

stunning views, out of gas, beer and bugs.

You missed it by one picture... where is the girl in the bikini???

It was even promised in the opening credit... "Partial nudity"

Please do not give up in your quest for the perfect RR

This valiant effort was a great read and I look forward to more.

 

[escapefjrtist]

Great report 'pants...I gotta say, y'all eat pretty well camping!

Thanks for sharing the adventure with us!

--G

 

[Chuck35]

Great RR! This puts Arkansas on my "places to see" list.

I guess the offensive nudity was the Sasquatch pic :lol:

 

[FJRBandit]

Pants - as usual, I really enjoyed your report. You guys really know how to do it.

For those of you that have never ridden in Arky, if this RR doesn't convince you to get your ass down there nothing will. Can't wait to get back up there (but that's how I feel every time I'm leaving Arkansas). Thanks for the inspiration - again - Pants!