Joe2Lmaker
Well-known member
I've heard a few stories about how crossing into Canada has gotten more restrictive. I thought it might be a good idea to see first hand. After all, I don't want to get to Idaho and be turned away at the Canadian border.
Last Sunday, I was telling my buddy about this and he asked: "Mind if I tag along?"
Yesterday the two of us rode up to Fort Frances, ON Canada. I apologize in advance for the lack of photos. Even though we both packed cameras, we didn't take a single photo. I guess I'm not very good at posey sniffin'.
We left my house at 6:00AM. We got as far as Wyoming, MN (not even 30 miles) before we had to stop. I needed some tape to hold up the tinted visor inside my old Schuberth helmet and by buddy needed some bungee cords to keep his nearly empty saddle bags attached to his HD. While we were stopped at the gas station, I asked him, "Do you need gas yet?"
Fast forward to the actual border crossing.
After handing the border services officer my passport:
Officer: "Where are you from?"
Me: "Minnesota."
Officer: "Where are you going in Canada?"
Me: "Just across the river here. Into..." long awkward pause, "Fort..." another long awkward pause "What's the name of this town?" At this point I figure I've blown it. I'm asking to enter a foreign country and I don't even know the name of the town I expect to visit! ?? That should be red flag #1
Officer: "This is Fort Frances. How long will you be staying in Fort Frances?"
Me: " I don't know. ... a couple of hours? We're just going to have lunch." This should be red flag #2... 'I'm asking to enter your country so I can have lunch.' :blink: That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard of, but it's better than the truth which is; 'We're just up here to see if you'll let me in.'
Officer: "Do you have any alcohol with you?"
Me: "No."
Officer: "Do you have any tobacco with you?"
Me: "No. Um.. wait... well just ah... my cigarettes." patting my jacket pocket
Officer: "Just one pack of cigarettes?"
Me: "Well, ya... even less than that."
Officer: "Do you have a firearms with you?"
Me: "No." looking away thoughtfully and suspiciously as I try to think of where I would have stored it on the bike
Officer: "Here." He hands me my passport and says. "Enjoy your stay in Canada."
That's it? I'm in? My plan to come across as an innocuous idiot paid off! I wasn't even asked to open the side bags on my bike.
After riding down the main drag of Fort Frances we determine there is no place to eat and decide to ask one of the locals to recommend someplace. This particular local, a thirty something woman instantly looks confused and repeats our question to one of her coworkers. He also gets the same look and together they shout the question to a third co-worker. Either our dialect is so foreign to these Canadians that they must consult with their peers, or Canadians must first reach a consensus before sharing their opinions.
After finally reaching a local dining establishment, our waitress lists off the daily specials for us.
Waitress: "... and we have barbecued beef on a bun."
Me: Thinking: It sounds kinda weird to only get one bun. "I'll have that."
Waitress: "Would you like chips or fries?"
Me: I wasn't ready for this. I thought they were the same thing 'up here'. "I'll have the fries."
Waitress: "Do you want gravy?"
Me: "You put gravy on barbecue beef?"
Waitress: (laughing) "No, it's for the fries."
Me: "You're kidding."
Me to my friend: "Is it because they're made out of potatoes?"
Waitress: "Do you want to try it? I can just bring it on the side."
Me: "O.K. That's fine." Thinking: Are you nuts? I'm not going to eat that!
After finishing my Sloppy Joe sandwich and fries (with ketchup). We're ready to hit the door. My buddy asks about paying with US dollars. He's wondering about the exchange rate. The waitress tells him not to worry about it, "It's even."
After we've left, I tell him what the exchange rate was. What are friends for? I also start harassing him because he didn't bring proof of US citizenship. He only has his driver's license. I tell him that he'll be strip searched - full cavity. I can be a lot of help.
Back in line to enter the US... The line is a half mile long. This is a complete mystery to me because I would expect everyone to be starting their vacations in Canada on a Friday. Eventually it's my turn to talk to the border guard:
Her: "Where are you from?"
Me: "Minnesota"
Her: "Yes, but where in Minnesota?"
Me: "Fridley, It's a suburb north of 'the cities'." Thinking: My address is on the passport just read it off of there.
Her: "What were you doing in Canada?"
Me: "Having lunch."
Her: "You rode all the way up here from the cities just to have lunch?"
Me: grinning "Yup!"
Her: "Isn't that awfully far just to have lunch? How long did it take you to get up here?"
Me: "I don't know. We left at 6 this morning and we finished lunch at 1."
Now I'm starting to get the idea that this isn't going well and I'm re-entering a land where one look is enough to make women suspicious of me.
Her: "Are you bringing anything back from Canada?"
Me: "No."
Her: "What do you have in the bags?"
Me: "Rain gear."
Her: "It that all?"
Me: "Yes." No. I'm smuggling in tiny migrant workers. I have one in each bag. Do you want to see them?
Her: "Would you open your bags please?"
Me: "Sure."
I open the bags. They don't even have rain gear in them. I'm wearing the liners, but I don't bother explaining any of this. She informs me that my passport isn't signed and that I need to take care of that. I say "Thank you" and I move along. Well, I don't move far enough along, because I'm waiting for my friend to get finished with his public strip search. My lack of forward movement has attracted another border guard, but thankfully my friend clears the guard gate before the guard reaches me.
Good times at the border. At my buddy's last fuel stop in Brainerd, we talked about some of the things we saw and how "That would have made a great photo!"
Memories will have to do...
Last Sunday, I was telling my buddy about this and he asked: "Mind if I tag along?"
Yesterday the two of us rode up to Fort Frances, ON Canada. I apologize in advance for the lack of photos. Even though we both packed cameras, we didn't take a single photo. I guess I'm not very good at posey sniffin'.
We left my house at 6:00AM. We got as far as Wyoming, MN (not even 30 miles) before we had to stop. I needed some tape to hold up the tinted visor inside my old Schuberth helmet and by buddy needed some bungee cords to keep his nearly empty saddle bags attached to his HD. While we were stopped at the gas station, I asked him, "Do you need gas yet?"
Fast forward to the actual border crossing.
After handing the border services officer my passport:
Officer: "Where are you from?"
Me: "Minnesota."
Officer: "Where are you going in Canada?"
Me: "Just across the river here. Into..." long awkward pause, "Fort..." another long awkward pause "What's the name of this town?" At this point I figure I've blown it. I'm asking to enter a foreign country and I don't even know the name of the town I expect to visit! ?? That should be red flag #1
Officer: "This is Fort Frances. How long will you be staying in Fort Frances?"
Me: " I don't know. ... a couple of hours? We're just going to have lunch." This should be red flag #2... 'I'm asking to enter your country so I can have lunch.' :blink: That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard of, but it's better than the truth which is; 'We're just up here to see if you'll let me in.'
Officer: "Do you have any alcohol with you?"
Me: "No."
Officer: "Do you have any tobacco with you?"
Me: "No. Um.. wait... well just ah... my cigarettes." patting my jacket pocket
Officer: "Just one pack of cigarettes?"
Me: "Well, ya... even less than that."
Officer: "Do you have a firearms with you?"
Me: "No." looking away thoughtfully and suspiciously as I try to think of where I would have stored it on the bike
Officer: "Here." He hands me my passport and says. "Enjoy your stay in Canada."
That's it? I'm in? My plan to come across as an innocuous idiot paid off! I wasn't even asked to open the side bags on my bike.
After riding down the main drag of Fort Frances we determine there is no place to eat and decide to ask one of the locals to recommend someplace. This particular local, a thirty something woman instantly looks confused and repeats our question to one of her coworkers. He also gets the same look and together they shout the question to a third co-worker. Either our dialect is so foreign to these Canadians that they must consult with their peers, or Canadians must first reach a consensus before sharing their opinions.
After finally reaching a local dining establishment, our waitress lists off the daily specials for us.
Waitress: "... and we have barbecued beef on a bun."
Me: Thinking: It sounds kinda weird to only get one bun. "I'll have that."
Waitress: "Would you like chips or fries?"
Me: I wasn't ready for this. I thought they were the same thing 'up here'. "I'll have the fries."
Waitress: "Do you want gravy?"
Me: "You put gravy on barbecue beef?"
Waitress: (laughing) "No, it's for the fries."
Me: "You're kidding."
Me to my friend: "Is it because they're made out of potatoes?"
Waitress: "Do you want to try it? I can just bring it on the side."
Me: "O.K. That's fine." Thinking: Are you nuts? I'm not going to eat that!
After finishing my Sloppy Joe sandwich and fries (with ketchup). We're ready to hit the door. My buddy asks about paying with US dollars. He's wondering about the exchange rate. The waitress tells him not to worry about it, "It's even."
After we've left, I tell him what the exchange rate was. What are friends for? I also start harassing him because he didn't bring proof of US citizenship. He only has his driver's license. I tell him that he'll be strip searched - full cavity. I can be a lot of help.
Back in line to enter the US... The line is a half mile long. This is a complete mystery to me because I would expect everyone to be starting their vacations in Canada on a Friday. Eventually it's my turn to talk to the border guard:
Her: "Where are you from?"
Me: "Minnesota"
Her: "Yes, but where in Minnesota?"
Me: "Fridley, It's a suburb north of 'the cities'." Thinking: My address is on the passport just read it off of there.
Her: "What were you doing in Canada?"
Me: "Having lunch."
Her: "You rode all the way up here from the cities just to have lunch?"
Me: grinning "Yup!"
Her: "Isn't that awfully far just to have lunch? How long did it take you to get up here?"
Me: "I don't know. We left at 6 this morning and we finished lunch at 1."
Now I'm starting to get the idea that this isn't going well and I'm re-entering a land where one look is enough to make women suspicious of me.
Her: "Are you bringing anything back from Canada?"
Me: "No."
Her: "What do you have in the bags?"
Me: "Rain gear."
Her: "It that all?"
Me: "Yes." No. I'm smuggling in tiny migrant workers. I have one in each bag. Do you want to see them?
Her: "Would you open your bags please?"
Me: "Sure."
I open the bags. They don't even have rain gear in them. I'm wearing the liners, but I don't bother explaining any of this. She informs me that my passport isn't signed and that I need to take care of that. I say "Thank you" and I move along. Well, I don't move far enough along, because I'm waiting for my friend to get finished with his public strip search. My lack of forward movement has attracted another border guard, but thankfully my friend clears the guard gate before the guard reaches me.
Good times at the border. At my buddy's last fuel stop in Brainerd, we talked about some of the things we saw and how "That would have made a great photo!"
Memories will have to do...
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