Keeping track of old friends

[slapnpop]

As some of you may know, I'm still on the youngish side (as FJR owners go). The last couple years I've been trying to keep in touch with some of my old hometown friends, and friends I went to highschool and college with, who've moved away (like me).

Pretty much all but one are non-recipricol in this exercise, and it's really starting to piss me off. I feel like it's not worth the effort to stay in touch with them if they don't wanna bother doing the same.

From some of you older folk, where should I draw the line and just let them go? It's not like it's a big deal, but these at one point were some of my closest friends, confidants, and cohorts. It just strikes me as odd that no one else seems to care, and it sometimes makes me think there's something wrong with me, ya know?

 

[Bike Effects]

As some of you may know, I'm still on the youngish side (as FJR owners go). The last couple years I've been trying to keep in touch with some of my old hometown friends, and friends I went to highschool and college with, who've moved away (like me).
Pretty much all but one are non-recipricol in this exercise, and it's really starting to piss me off. I feel like it's not worth the effort to stay in touch with them if they don't wanna bother doing the same.

From some of you older folk, where should I draw the line and just let them go? It's not like it's a big deal, but these at one point were some of my closest friends, confidants, and cohorts. It just strikes me as odd that no one else seems to care, and it sometimes makes me think there's something wrong with me, ya know?

Sometimes this is the way we learn they are not as good of friends as we thought they were. Friendship needs work from both sides. I sounds like you are doing your part. The other factor is that people's lifestyles change and it may be divergent from yours. Is divergent a word? :huh:

 

[radman]

Main Entry: di·ver·gent

Pronunciation: -j&nt

Function: adjective

Etymology: Latin divergent-, divergens, present participle of divergere

1 a : diverging from each other b : differing from each other or from a standard : DEVIANT <the divergent interests of capital and labor>

2 : relating to or being an infinite sequence that does not have a limit or an infinite series whose partial sums do not have a limit

3 : causing divergence of rays <a divergent lens>

synonym see DIFFERENT

- di·ver·gent·ly adverb

And +1 on BE's post.

 

[Bustanut joker]

Ah yes, the friends we've committed high crimes and misdemeaners with It's nuthin to lose sleep over slappy, we've all been through it at some point.

**** happens we all change. I've got one bud who's been around since we were kids .. the rest? well I gave up tryin' several years ago.

jus think ya got new ones like twn now :lol: to bad :lol2: :lol2:

:jester:

 

[smitty141]

Main Entry: di·ver·gentPronunciation: -j&nt

Function: adjective

Etymology: Latin divergent-, divergens, present participle of divergere

1 a : diverging from each other b : differing from each other or from a standard : DEVIANT <the divergent interests of capital and labor>

2 : relating to or being an infinite sequence that does not have a limit or an infinite series whose partial sums do not have a limit

3 : causing divergence of rays <a divergent lens>

synonym see DIFFERENT

- di·ver·gent·ly adverb

And +1 on BE's post.

What did Rad just say??

I try to stay in touch with friends, and I give them a few chances to do the same. After that, I just move on. It seams your friends change as your life style/hobbies change. But I still have a hand full from childhood I still talk to on a regular basis... Smitty

 

[odot]

Whose motto is "f*ck em and feed them fish heads"? He might have a good answer for that one.

 

[twowheelnut]

It goes like this with my old 'friends' (family, too, for that matter):

Two unreturned phone calls: Strike one.

Unreturned email of other correspondence: Strike two.

Unreturned X-mas cards and such: Strike three, we're done.

Oddly enough, in the last year, I've had two of my 'best friends' track me down. One actually showed up from CT, unannounced at my office one day after 15 years of silence... "Hey, how come you never call or write, anymore?" Riiiiight.

 

[Warchild]

A couple months ago, my bride was nosing around the Classmates.com web site, and ask me if there was anyone I knew long ago that I'd like to try to find again. I told her I'd sure like to find my old college buddy David Winters, with whom I shared a dorm apartment with for several years. Lost contact with him after entering the military in the early 80's.

She typed in the name, and pressed the "Send" button. We never heard any response, and I didn't give it much thought after that.

Unbelieveably, yesterday my wife got an email from classmates.com, telling here that a David Winters had just opened her original email from a couple months ago.

This morning... he called!

It's been a quarter-century since I've spoken with him.... we graduated together in 1981.

Daaaaaaaayumn! :shok:

 

[Rickster]

It goes like this with <snip> anyone:
Two unreturned phone calls: Strike one.

Unreturned email of other correspondence: Strike two.

Unreturned X-mas cards and such: Strike three, we're done.

<snip>

+1 but edited of course.

 

[fjrchik]

how did your 5 year class reunion go? your 10 year is coming up soon, maybe you can reconnect there. being only a few years older than you, i can relate. for some it just takes them longer to settle down in life and i think that has something to do with this.

 

[slapnpop]

I'm pretty much of the stop-trying opinion as well. I wanted to see what some of the "experience" on the forum showed, and it was pretty much what I expected.

This morning... he called!
It's been a quarter-century since I've spoken with him....

That's what I wanted to head off at the pass. I'd rather just STAY in contact with some of my close friends, but I'm tired of it being a one-way affair.

Maybe the time apart is what makes the reunion possible, as if the importance is forgotten when the contact remains constant.

how did your 5 year class reunion go? your 10 year is coming up soon, maybe you can reconnect there. being only a few years older than you, i can relate. for some it just takes them longer to settle down in life and i think that has something to do with this.

It's only a select few of my highschool classmates I WANT to stay in contact with. You'll find me no where near any reunion of that defunkt *** educational complex. :glare:

 

[6mmbr]

I think its different from women to men.

If my wife's friends don't keep in touch, by two years they're "out".

Now I just ran into a friend from college (25 years ago!) and it was no big deal. Just like we'd talked last week. Seems like just yesterday we were shooting the Beta house with the potato cannon. I'll probalbly see him in another 25 years just to touch base.

 

[fjrchik]

I think its different from women to men.If my wife's friends don't keep in touch, by two years they're "out".

Now I just ran into a friend from college (25 years ago!) and it was no big deal. Just like we'd talked last week. Seems like just yesterday we were shooting the Beta house with the potato cannon. I'll probalbly see him in another 25 years just to touch base.

I'm sure your right. I am still tight with all my girlfriends from high school (12 years out now). We all still get together as often as possible, email and IM regularly and reunite at christmas when everyone comes home to MN. with all the technology available these days, there is NO excuse for not keeping in touch other than lazyness. Now if you can't find them, well that's different.

 

[Groo]

Another thing that changes people is starting families... and moving to wherever your job takes you. Long distances and taking care of kids makes your available free time disappear rather quickly.

 

[Geezer]

I keep in touch with a few of my very best friends from High School. We graduated in 1972. They don't seem to make an effort to keep in touch but when I do contact them they are always happy to hear from me. Makes me feel good to keep in touch and well worth the effort even if that effort is not reciprocated. I don't try to keep in touch with those people who were not 'very best' friends.

So I say just do what makes you happy.

 

[odot]

72? damn.....I was born in 72....I'm such a pup.

 

[slapnpop]

72? damn.....I was born in 72....I'm such a pup.

You're a pup?!? Hell, I didn't even make it into the 70's!

 

[Dan23]

Old friends... aren't those people who are from the past? Where is the past anyway when you live in the present? People come, people go. Get used to it. There's more to come. OTOH, I never write anyone off. When and old friend shows up in my present, it's like we never were apart. If you have to work at at a relationship... that ought to tell you something... not always bad, just the way it is.

 

[FJR1300]

I wish I had old friends to keep in contact with!

Let me explain... I spent 20 years in radio and I moved around the country a lot, mostly in the 80's and early 90's. I met some really great people, but with moving around so much... it was hard to stay in touch. We'd write and call, but then I'd move again and sometimes people didn't get my new address... so we'd lose contact. I've been in Missouri now for five years and I have no plans to move anytime soon... so hopefully staying in touch will be easier.

As far as what you need to do... I guess it's up to you, but its always fun to catch-up with an old friend when you "bump" into each other somewhere!

EDIT: I hadn't planned on moving, but an old friend is looking for an afternoon guy at a radio station on Grand Cayman. I wounder if I could get used to riding the bike only on an island?