Might this be your glass eye?

[bobg3723]

A motorcycle-ized variation of an old joke.

A man out for a ride on his FJR1300 stretched his arm out to hand signal an upcoming turn just as something plopped into his glove. It was a glass eye. Circling around to find the owner he set his kickstand down at about the spot where he'd caught it. He removes his helmet and looks up to see this woman looking down at him from her upper floor balcony.

She smiled intently as he spotted her eyepatch, prompting him to ask, "Might this be yours?".

"Yes, could you bring it up?", she giggled.

He shows up at her door and handed over her glass eye whereby she pops it back in.

Toying with his jacket zipper, she said, “I turned my head when I heard you coming down the street on that sexy high powered sport tourer, and of all things to happen my glass eye pops out.".

The man hesitated a bit at that awkward admission, then dropped her this come-on: "Do all guys on those sexy high powered sport tourers get your attention?”.

"No.”, she replied, "Only the one's on those that happen to catch my eye."

 

[HotRodZilla]

Some basic definitions:

Funny: Causing laughter or amusement; humorous. "A funny story."

Joke: A thing that someone says to cause amusement or laughter, esp. a story with a funny punchline.

Awkward: Causing or feeling embarrassment or inconvenience. "His bad jokes made people feel awkward."

 

[builderwill]

Seriously, you have to be going out of your way to find jokes this bad.

 

[RossKean]

A man is sent to prison for the first time. At night, the lights in the cell block are turned off, and his cellmate goes over to the bars and yells, "Number twelve!" The whole cell block breaks out laughing. A few minutes later, somebody else in the cell block yells, "Number four!" Again, the whole cell bloock breaks out laughing.

The new guy asks his cellmate what's going on. "Well," says the older prisoner, "we've all been in this here prison for so long, we all know the same jokes. So we just yell out the number instead of saying the whole joke."

So the new guy walks up to the bars and yells, "Number six!" There was dead silence in the cell block. He asks the older prisoner, "What's wrong? Why didn't I get any laughs?"

"Well," said the older man, "sometimes it's not the joke, but how you tell it."

 

[gixxerjasen]

A man is sent to prison for the first time. At night, the lights in the cell block are turned off, and his cellmate goes over to the bars and yells, "Number twelve!" The whole cell block breaks out laughing. A few minutes later, somebody else in the cell block yells, "Number four!" Again, the whole cell bloock breaks out laughing.

The new guy asks his cellmate what's going on. "Well," says the older prisoner, "we've all been in this here prison for so long, we all know the same jokes. So we just yell out the number instead of saying the whole joke."

So the new guy walks up to the bars and yells, "Number six!" There was dead silence in the cell block. He asks the older prisoner, "What's wrong? Why didn't I get any laughs?"

"Well," said the older man, "sometimes it's not the joke, but how you tell it."

That joke is older than most of the members on this site.

 

[RossKean]

That joke is older than most of the members on this site.

Yes, but it is a good one. Also illustrates the need for timing and context for a joke to be funny.

 

[Redfish Hunter]

That joke may be old but it is still funnier than whatever that story was at the beginning of this thread.

 

[bwv]

You must admit.. this one is a VAST improvment over the past couple of attempts.

 

[Redfish Hunter]

A matter of opinion and it is still pathetic.

I would have thought that after the last attempt ended with two locked threads and a public reprimand that we would not be subjected to any more of this.

 

[bwv]

Agreed

 

[Dutch]

Grasshopper walks into a bar

Bartender says "Hey grasshopper, I've got a drink named after you!"

Grasshopper says "You've got a drink named Steve?"

 

[RadioHowie]

And with this less-than-stellar setup, comes the NEXT girl-with-glass-eye joke.

"So did you hear the one about the one-eyed hooker? Yep...just want you're thinking...she used THAT particular orifice in her vocational pursuits. Always told her favorite clients 'I'll keep an eye out for ya!'"

 

[FJRBluesman]

Even though Howie totally dragged this thread into the mud it wasn't... well... There's another three minutes I'll never get back....

 

[HotRodZilla]

Gawd...I now wish I was 2 minutes younger and knew better.

 

[bwv]

I just had to look again... I'll learn...

 

[lnewlf]

give Bob a break-you can see that he's rowing- errr riding - with only one wheel...

 

[BkerChuck]

A glass eye is actually the reason behind my screen name spelling. My older brother lost an eye in a childhood accident and has had a glass eye for years. My ISP at one time had a charcter limit on email address names so I spelled it as it's used on here and other forums. When my brother asked for my email address I just told him " like you I'm missing an eye"

 

[Dutch]

Used to work with a guy with a glass eye (not glass actually) who lost his eye when his kid brother shot him with an arrow.

His nick-name was "Sealed Beam".

 

[wheatonFJR]

A glass eye is actually the reason behind my screen name spelling. My older brother lost an eye in a childhood accident...

^^^^^^Do you two know each other? vvvvvvvv

Used to work with a guy with a glass eye (not glass actually) who lost his eye when his kid brother shot him with an arrow....