HuskyRider
Well-known member
A friend told the blonde lady that Christmas was on Friday this year. The blond replied, "let`s hope its not the 13th."
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Two blondes find three hand grenades. They decide to take them to a police station.
One asks the other "What if one exlodes before we get there?"
The other says "We`ll lie and say we only found two."
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A woman phoned her blond neighbor and said "Close your curtains the next time you have ***. The whole neighborhood was watching and laughing at you yesterday."
The blonde replies "The joke`s on you because I wasn`t even home yesterday."
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A blonde goes to the vet with her goldfish.
she tells the vet "I think it has epilepsy."
The vet says "It seems calm to me."
The blond says "Oh yeah, just take it out of the water."
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A blonde finds a letter lying on her doormat. It says "Do Not Bend" on the envelope.
She spends the next two hours trying to figure out how to pick it up.
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A blonde calls a doctors office and shouts frantically in the phone "This lady is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart."
The doctor says "Is this her first child."
The blond says "No, this is her neighbor."
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A blonde was driving home very drunk
Suddenly she has to swerve to avoid a tree, then another, and then another.
A cop sees her weaving and pulls her over. She tells him about the trees that were suddenly appearing in the road.
The cop says "That was your air-freshener swinging back and forth."
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A blondes dog goes missing and she is frantic.
Her neighbor says "Why don`t you put an ad in the paper?"
She does. Two weeks later the dog is still missing.
"What did your ad say?" asked the neighbor.
The blonde replies "Here boy!"
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A blonde is in jail. The guard looks in the cell and sees her hanging by her feet.
"Just what are you doing?" he asks.
"Hanging myself" the blonde replied.
"The rope should be around your neck" says the guard.
"I tried that" the blonde replies "but I couldn`t breathe."
----
A man asks a blonde lady "Why do scuba divers always fall backward off their boat?"
The blond replies "Duh, if they fell forward they`d still be in the boat."
----
Two blondes find three hand grenades. They decide to take them to a police station.
One asks the other "What if one exlodes before we get there?"
The other says "We`ll lie and say we only found two."
----
A woman phoned her blond neighbor and said "Close your curtains the next time you have ***. The whole neighborhood was watching and laughing at you yesterday."
The blonde replies "The joke`s on you because I wasn`t even home yesterday."
----
A blonde goes to the vet with her goldfish.
she tells the vet "I think it has epilepsy."
The vet says "It seems calm to me."
The blond says "Oh yeah, just take it out of the water."
----
A blonde finds a letter lying on her doormat. It says "Do Not Bend" on the envelope.
She spends the next two hours trying to figure out how to pick it up.
----
A blonde calls a doctors office and shouts frantically in the phone "This lady is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart."
The doctor says "Is this her first child."
The blond says "No, this is her neighbor."
----
A blonde was driving home very drunk
Suddenly she has to swerve to avoid a tree, then another, and then another.
A cop sees her weaving and pulls her over. She tells him about the trees that were suddenly appearing in the road.
The cop says "That was your air-freshener swinging back and forth."
----
A blondes dog goes missing and she is frantic.
Her neighbor says "Why don`t you put an ad in the paper?"
She does. Two weeks later the dog is still missing.
"What did your ad say?" asked the neighbor.
The blonde replies "Here boy!"
----
A blonde is in jail. The guard looks in the cell and sees her hanging by her feet.
"Just what are you doing?" he asks.
"Hanging myself" the blonde replied.
"The rope should be around your neck" says the guard.
"I tried that" the blonde replies "but I couldn`t breathe."
----
A man asks a blonde lady "Why do scuba divers always fall backward off their boat?"
The blond replies "Duh, if they fell forward they`d still be in the boat."
