bigdolma
Master chef for Kebobs & Hummus extraordinaire
My adventure started when the company I work for asked me if I can relocate to the Dubai, UAE for a few years. I personally have been here once at the airport during transit, but never imagined that I would live here in this desert kingdom.
Well, fast forward and here I am….
I imagined I will go there, get settled then come back to pick up family. It will be easier for them given the circumstances of moving to a new country/continent/civilization/culture/religion…etc,…you get the idea. Since I like being pro active, I decided to check the internet(s) - George W. Bush for some guidelines, expat help, local government stuff.
A must have:
Passport
Invitation for Visa
Passport size pictures
Cash
Drivers license
Nice to have:
More passport photos
Should have had
A MILLION COPIES OF MY PASSPORT…you will see why.
Landed, passed customs…everyone friendly, no issues there. But for a moment I thought I was at the Indira Ghandi airport and not Dubai International. Hope you got a sense what I am trying to explain.
Rental car is where the adventure begins….
Me: yeh, I am have a reservation for a rental car.
Them: Yez..veelcom…bazzbord pleez
Them: You have bazzbord foto pleez?
Me: no I don’t perhaps you can use the copier behind you to make a “foto”
Them: Driver lisens you have sir?
Me: sure, here it is
Them: You have lisens foto pleez?
Me: no I don’t perhaps you can use the copier behind you to make a “foto”…..
Them: extra 2 Durham pleez.
Me: Fine…here.
Anyway, I take my documents and out I go. The moment the sliding doors open, I remember a very famous person saying: “That's one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind”. Not sure if this was the Moon, or Mercury that I just stepped into…WOW!! My sun glasses EVEN fogged up. Got to the car, blast the AC and off I went. Figured Abu Dhabi is where my direction is, I followed the signs and made it to my hotel.
Hotel Reception
Them: Veelcom sir
Me: I have a reservation…
Them: yez…bassbord foto pleez.
Me: I don’t have one…perhaps you can use the copier behind you for a “foto”
Them: Extra 1 Durham pleez.
Me: Fine!
Local Mall
Next day, I was instructed to go to the local mall to get my eye checked as a prerequisite for a drivers license. But before I went there, I made sure I had enough “bazzbord foto pleez” with me so there are no delays or hassles.
Sure enough, walk into an optometrist to get the eyes checked.
Me: I am here to get checked for drivers license
Them: yez…veelcome, bazzbord foto pleez!
Me: AHA! I have it right here!
Them: Viza foto pleez!
Me: damn!, ok…here is my “bazzbord” and maybe you can use copier behind you for a “foto”
Them: 1 durham pleez.
Me: Fine….
Spent a couple of minutes looking at colors, letters and numbers…got my “passed/ok” stamp on some paper that looked like a something came out of a Kids Meal and off I went.
Hotel Reception
Me: so how to get to the ….damn…how am I going to explain DMV to these guys.
Them: Yez sir?
Me: ok, u drive yez?
Them: no
Me: shoot,…ok…car yez?
Them: No…no car…bus
Me: hmmm…ok…Driver lisens yes? Vroom Vroom? Paap peep?
Them: Yez…but no car
Me: ok…”bazzbord foto pleez”…auto…vroom?
Them: yez…behind mall.
Me: Mall? Which one? There are Malls at every corner
Them: Big Mall,
Me: They are all Big..
Them: You take big circle behind mall, next to second big circle you see big sign “auto department”.
Me:…right….ok…thanks
Them: veelcom sir.
DMV
I will skip the details on how I got to the DMV.
Me: I am here for license
Customer Service desk: For what?
Me: License…you know…driving…vroom vroom?
Customer Service desk: You go out and back in.
Me: damn..thats a new one. What do you mean go out and back in?
Customer Service desk: You go out then back in!!
Me: I go out, and come back in?
Customer Service desk: yez!
Me: damn..this does not make sense at all. I am already in, why would I want to go out?
Them: zir…you go out go back and come back in.
Me: wait…I think I got it…you want me to go out “that door” go around the building “making a circle here” and come in from the back of the building.
Them: Yez, that is what I said!!!
Me: pardon, my fault totally…thanks
Them: veelkom.
License main lobby
Walk into a lobby with some audience type chairs, bunch of people sitting, some reading, some snoozing, some chatting. One person behind the desk typing away on a PC. (Could be a wave file making typing sounds). But I want to give him the benefit here.
Looked around to see what the process is. Red LED on the top has a number but it is not changing. Stood there for 15 minutes observing the situation but nothing is happening. Looking for signs, instructions..nothing. Finally walked up to the guy “typing” and asked.
Me: Drivers License?
Them: Typing
Me: You are typing..sorry, but can you tell me where….
Them: No, I am Typing No…Typing!
Me: ok…Typing…what is typing?
Them: Typing…you go Typing then come take number
Me: I go to Typing, why would I want to go to Typing, can you tell me where Typing is?
Them: Go outside and come back in.
Me: Oh no not again….ok thanks
Them: veelcom
Typing
Walking around this building trying to understand the events which were brought upon me, just trying to make sense of it all. When ALAS! Found a sign written with a marker, scotch taped on a wall said “Tiping”. Perfect, walked in.
Me: Drivers license?
Them: no typing license out back in
Me: where?
Them: out back in
Me: can you show me where if you do not mind.
Them: stands up…walks to the door. See that window…out then back in.
Me: ok thanks
Them: veelkom
Me: Drivers License?
Them: bazzbord foto pleez
Me: here you go
Them: Viza foto pleez
Me: and…here you go
Them: American?
Me: That is what the “bazzbord” says
Them: America is beautiful
Me: It sure is…
Them: You like Kobeee Brain?
Me: Do you like “Kobeee Brain”?
Them: yez…I like Kobeee Brain good player.
Me: Then I like Kobee Brain…typing?
Them: yez…75 Durhams pleez.
He fills out an application using a typewriter, takes the Happy Meal receipt, my “bazzbord foto pleez” papers and staples all of them together and hands them back.
Them: veelcom
Me: Thank you, but what do I do now?
Them: Go out and come back in.
Me: should have known..appologies.
Fast forward to getting Credit Card…
Guy shows up to my office on his scooter. Gets all the necessary info and off he goes. Of course with that, he got the “bazzbord fotos” up the wazoo and all necessary documents (visa copies, pictures, ex girlfriend photos…)
Day of card delivery
Got a call from the bank asking for my location to deliver the card via Courier.
Bank: Mr. *****?
Me: yes
Bank: This is Rajieeb Shaumatra Rama Ramalingam from the *** Bank.
Me: euh…ok?
Bank: Your card is ready for delivery, can I please have your address.
Me: sure, East of Great Highway, big roundabout, close to Super market, next to warehouse with blue roof, behind the third Palm tree.
Bank: Big palm tree or small palm tree.
Me: thinking perhaps the palm trees are pretty static here. Euh, I would assume the “big” palm tree.
Bank: Ok, ve vill call you when ve are lost.
Me: sure…you do that.
Bank: pardon?
Me: nevermind…I wait for the card.
Card arrives sure enough…now the name on the card does resemble my name but missing a few vowels. So picked up the phone and dialed the “help desk”
Bot Operator: To activate card “kindly” press 1.
Me: I press 1.
Bot Operator: Please “kindly” enter your pin.
Me: ok…that I do not have….pause…pause…
Bot Operator: Please “kindly” enter your pin.
Me: …darn…pausing…thinking…. I never got the pin damn it.
Bot Operator: Please ENTER your pin…(“kindly”) vanished at this point.
Me: pressing # (they call it hash here) *…everything to get someone.
Bot: Please ENTER your pin.
Me: pressing everything on the key pad….
Bot: Please hold for “first class customer service representative”
Me: Oh this is going to be good.
Ashok: I am Ashok, how can I be of excellent service
Me: Name on card is wrong
Ashok: Yes, fax me you “bazzbord foto pleaze” to correct.
Me: Ashok, I gave you guys the passport photos, I filled out the application myself, I re confirmed when your bank called me. I am sick and tired of your “passport photos”. My picture is everywhere by now. I believe every secret service entity on this planet knows who I am and how I look like. You have it in your file, computer what ever…it has got to be there somewhere. Check the cafeteria walls, the bathroom walls, the trash bin.
Ashok: yes, our most excellent service customer is always right. Blease fax “bazzbord foto” to correct.
Me: damn it Ashok…fine. Give me your fax number..
5 days later, I receive the card with correct name.
Called to activate:
Bot: Please “kindly” enter your pin
Me: I don’t have a pin.
Bot: Please “kindly” enter your pin
Me: I DON’T HAVE A phuckin PIN!!!
Bot: Please ENTER your pin.
Me: no pin!...pin no…pin nicht izt heir….pin mafee…pin no trabajo…NO PIN
Bot: Please hold for “first class customer service representative”
Me: aah…finally.
Rajeish: I am Rajeish, how can I be of excellent service?
Me: Card activation…since I do not have pin yet…get it? No pin, no activation.
Rajeish: Most veelcome sirt…can you confirm your birthday.
Me: yeh…its dd/mm/yyyy
Rajeish: Thousand apologies sir. But that is not what we have in system.
Me: Maybe I made a ****oo..thinking US mm/dd/yyyy instead of dd/mm/yyyy European. Ok try…mm/dd/yyy.
Rajeish: Thousand apologies sir. But that is not what we have in system.
Me: check again!
Rajeish: Thousand apologies sir. But that is…
Me: I know…you are up to 3 thousand apologies by now…
Rajeish: Yes sir, you fax “bazzbord foto please” to correct birth date.
Me: SON OF A 2#$%%#$ FU#$@%t@ SH#$@ PIECE OF @#$@%^@. You can take that passport %$%^@^ and stick it up your @#%!!!!
Rajeish: Thousand apologies sir, but here is our fax number.
Me: I HAVE YOUR $%@#^# FAX number!!!
Rajeish: Thousand apologies sir, you are most velcome.
Got a call from an agent who is/was/willing/unwilling/wanna/maybe/sort of/kind of/only when the stars align/ handling delivery of my personal belongings from Jabal Ali, local harbor.
Day 1 via email
Rmeish: Yez..we have container here in harbor with your name. May we kindly ask for Bill of Lading
Me: here it is attached. Do you need anything else, like passport photos or visa?
No response.
Day 2 via email
Rmeish: Ve need “bazzbord fotos pleez”
Me: You know, I did ask you this yesterday, but here they are attached in the email AND copies of visa and all the other documents you could hang on your wall. Do you require ANYTHING ELSE…here is my mobile CALL ME!!
Day 3 via email
Rmeish: Sir, we need oreegeenal beell of landing
Me: Whats an “original” bill of lading? I gave all I have, describe original? Stamp? Sign? Food coloring? CALL ME!!! Here is my mobile.
Day 4 via email
Rmeish: Sir, we need oreegeenal documents, kindly supply. They are charging you holding fees.
Me: What the @%#$% do they look like? What do you mean? I gave you all I have. Describe it. Call me NOW!! Give me your mobile.
Day5 via email
Rmeish: Sir, we need oreegeenal documents, urgent supply. More charges on the container due to delays.
Me: Are you F$%#^@ READING MY EMAILS?
Day6 via email
Rmeish: Sir, oreegeeenal documents are requested. Please send.
Me: went to my office and got a stamp says “original”. Stamped “Original” all over the documents and signed with red and blue ink. Rmeish, I have the “oreegeenal. Where do you want me to send it?
Rmeish: Small roundabout behind new building.
Me: Small roundabout? What roundabout..what new building?
Day7 via email
Rmeish: Sir, pleeeze oreegeenal documents must be presented. Your fees are very high.
Me: I know! you ding dong…I need your address…or send someone to pick them up.
Rmeish: Small roundabout behind new building.
Me: What the??? Are you kidding me?
Screw this,
Day 8
Got a cab and told him, “small roundabout behind new building”
Cab driver: Yes of course.
Me: I should have known.
We drive for about 30 minutes until we came to a small roundabout and sure enough, there was a new building among 90 or so old ones.
Me: Rmeish, here are the documents and look, they say original. Satisfied?
Rmeish: Yes, do you have bazzbord foto with you?
Me: why, I gave it to you in the email
Rmeish: Yes, but I need oreegeenal bazzbord foto
Me: What the @#$@% is oreegeenal bazzbord foto…a passport foto cant be an orginal because it is a copy of the original passport.
Rmeish: Sir, we must to “haste” too much fees?
Me: Haste? We must do Haste? What the hell do you think I have been trying to do Rmeish. Whats with the “HASTE” anyway..how the heck did you pick that up overnight?
Rmeish: Pardon sir?
Me: Who put the bop in the bop she bop she bop?
Rmeish: Yes, you are right…bazzbord oreegeenal not required.
Me: No ****!
Rmeish: Thank you, I am fine.
Me: Can we go to get my stuff now?
Rmeish: Today, Thursday they close early so we must wait for Sunday.
Me: WHAT THE??? You have GOT TO BE FU#$@% KIDDING MEEEEEEEE!!!
Rmeish: Yes, must wait for Sunday.
I gave up worrying about it...when it happens it happens.
Anyway…..
Days of 100+ degree temperatures including 80% humidity, dusty, hazy. Drivers are always eager to run over anyone everyone. Everybody is in a rush to get somewhere sometime but no one knows why. Water is from the seas, biggest desalination plants on the planet are here. So big you cant tell if they are power plants or water filtration plants. The place is run by workers from the Asia Pac. They are the bulk of the systems here. Without them, this place will just stop.
It is so hot here that bus stops have ACs. I never understood how they signal to stop though. The malls are open till midnight, sometimes till later for special occasions. The malls are packed and they are building bigger ones every month.
Although, I have to admit…the vision that has been brought up this place is amazing. The rulers are doing the unthinkable in terms of building the bigger the better. In fact, they are building the biggest “green” studies center in the whole world just a few miles away. This place is on steroids and all thanks to a few good men who are running it. They did here in just 10 years what took others decades….
Oh yeh, the food is good.
Arabian Feejer.
Well, fast forward and here I am….
I imagined I will go there, get settled then come back to pick up family. It will be easier for them given the circumstances of moving to a new country/continent/civilization/culture/religion…etc,…you get the idea. Since I like being pro active, I decided to check the internet(s) - George W. Bush for some guidelines, expat help, local government stuff.
A must have:
Passport
Invitation for Visa
Passport size pictures
Cash
Drivers license
Nice to have:
More passport photos
Should have had
A MILLION COPIES OF MY PASSPORT…you will see why.
Landed, passed customs…everyone friendly, no issues there. But for a moment I thought I was at the Indira Ghandi airport and not Dubai International. Hope you got a sense what I am trying to explain.
Rental car is where the adventure begins….
Me: yeh, I am have a reservation for a rental car.
Them: Yez..veelcom…bazzbord pleez
Them: You have bazzbord foto pleez?
Me: no I don’t perhaps you can use the copier behind you to make a “foto”
Them: Driver lisens you have sir?
Me: sure, here it is
Them: You have lisens foto pleez?
Me: no I don’t perhaps you can use the copier behind you to make a “foto”…..
Them: extra 2 Durham pleez.
Me: Fine…here.
Anyway, I take my documents and out I go. The moment the sliding doors open, I remember a very famous person saying: “That's one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind”. Not sure if this was the Moon, or Mercury that I just stepped into…WOW!! My sun glasses EVEN fogged up. Got to the car, blast the AC and off I went. Figured Abu Dhabi is where my direction is, I followed the signs and made it to my hotel.
Hotel Reception
Them: Veelcom sir
Me: I have a reservation…
Them: yez…bassbord foto pleez.
Me: I don’t have one…perhaps you can use the copier behind you for a “foto”
Them: Extra 1 Durham pleez.
Me: Fine!
Local Mall
Next day, I was instructed to go to the local mall to get my eye checked as a prerequisite for a drivers license. But before I went there, I made sure I had enough “bazzbord foto pleez” with me so there are no delays or hassles.
Sure enough, walk into an optometrist to get the eyes checked.
Me: I am here to get checked for drivers license
Them: yez…veelcome, bazzbord foto pleez!
Me: AHA! I have it right here!
Them: Viza foto pleez!
Me: damn!, ok…here is my “bazzbord” and maybe you can use copier behind you for a “foto”
Them: 1 durham pleez.
Me: Fine….
Spent a couple of minutes looking at colors, letters and numbers…got my “passed/ok” stamp on some paper that looked like a something came out of a Kids Meal and off I went.
Hotel Reception
Me: so how to get to the ….damn…how am I going to explain DMV to these guys.
Them: Yez sir?
Me: ok, u drive yez?
Them: no
Me: shoot,…ok…car yez?
Them: No…no car…bus
Me: hmmm…ok…Driver lisens yes? Vroom Vroom? Paap peep?
Them: Yez…but no car
Me: ok…”bazzbord foto pleez”…auto…vroom?
Them: yez…behind mall.
Me: Mall? Which one? There are Malls at every corner
Them: Big Mall,
Me: They are all Big..
Them: You take big circle behind mall, next to second big circle you see big sign “auto department”.
Me:…right….ok…thanks
Them: veelcom sir.
DMV
I will skip the details on how I got to the DMV.
Me: I am here for license
Customer Service desk: For what?
Me: License…you know…driving…vroom vroom?
Customer Service desk: You go out and back in.
Me: damn..thats a new one. What do you mean go out and back in?
Customer Service desk: You go out then back in!!
Me: I go out, and come back in?
Customer Service desk: yez!
Me: damn..this does not make sense at all. I am already in, why would I want to go out?
Them: zir…you go out go back and come back in.
Me: wait…I think I got it…you want me to go out “that door” go around the building “making a circle here” and come in from the back of the building.
Them: Yez, that is what I said!!!
Me: pardon, my fault totally…thanks
Them: veelkom.
License main lobby
Walk into a lobby with some audience type chairs, bunch of people sitting, some reading, some snoozing, some chatting. One person behind the desk typing away on a PC. (Could be a wave file making typing sounds). But I want to give him the benefit here.
Looked around to see what the process is. Red LED on the top has a number but it is not changing. Stood there for 15 minutes observing the situation but nothing is happening. Looking for signs, instructions..nothing. Finally walked up to the guy “typing” and asked.
Me: Drivers License?
Them: Typing
Me: You are typing..sorry, but can you tell me where….
Them: No, I am Typing No…Typing!
Me: ok…Typing…what is typing?
Them: Typing…you go Typing then come take number
Me: I go to Typing, why would I want to go to Typing, can you tell me where Typing is?
Them: Go outside and come back in.
Me: Oh no not again….ok thanks
Them: veelcom
Typing
Walking around this building trying to understand the events which were brought upon me, just trying to make sense of it all. When ALAS! Found a sign written with a marker, scotch taped on a wall said “Tiping”. Perfect, walked in.
Me: Drivers license?
Them: no typing license out back in
Me: where?
Them: out back in
Me: can you show me where if you do not mind.
Them: stands up…walks to the door. See that window…out then back in.
Me: ok thanks
Them: veelkom
Me: Drivers License?
Them: bazzbord foto pleez
Me: here you go
Them: Viza foto pleez
Me: and…here you go
Them: American?
Me: That is what the “bazzbord” says
Them: America is beautiful
Me: It sure is…
Them: You like Kobeee Brain?
Me: Do you like “Kobeee Brain”?
Them: yez…I like Kobeee Brain good player.
Me: Then I like Kobee Brain…typing?
Them: yez…75 Durhams pleez.
He fills out an application using a typewriter, takes the Happy Meal receipt, my “bazzbord foto pleez” papers and staples all of them together and hands them back.
Them: veelcom
Me: Thank you, but what do I do now?
Them: Go out and come back in.
Me: should have known..appologies.
Fast forward to getting Credit Card…
Guy shows up to my office on his scooter. Gets all the necessary info and off he goes. Of course with that, he got the “bazzbord fotos” up the wazoo and all necessary documents (visa copies, pictures, ex girlfriend photos…)
Day of card delivery
Got a call from the bank asking for my location to deliver the card via Courier.
Bank: Mr. *****?
Me: yes
Bank: This is Rajieeb Shaumatra Rama Ramalingam from the *** Bank.
Me: euh…ok?
Bank: Your card is ready for delivery, can I please have your address.
Me: sure, East of Great Highway, big roundabout, close to Super market, next to warehouse with blue roof, behind the third Palm tree.
Bank: Big palm tree or small palm tree.
Me: thinking perhaps the palm trees are pretty static here. Euh, I would assume the “big” palm tree.
Bank: Ok, ve vill call you when ve are lost.
Me: sure…you do that.
Bank: pardon?
Me: nevermind…I wait for the card.
Card arrives sure enough…now the name on the card does resemble my name but missing a few vowels. So picked up the phone and dialed the “help desk”
Bot Operator: To activate card “kindly” press 1.
Me: I press 1.
Bot Operator: Please “kindly” enter your pin.
Me: ok…that I do not have….pause…pause…
Bot Operator: Please “kindly” enter your pin.
Me: …darn…pausing…thinking…. I never got the pin damn it.
Bot Operator: Please ENTER your pin…(“kindly”) vanished at this point.
Me: pressing # (they call it hash here) *…everything to get someone.
Bot: Please ENTER your pin.
Me: pressing everything on the key pad….
Bot: Please hold for “first class customer service representative”
Me: Oh this is going to be good.
Ashok: I am Ashok, how can I be of excellent service
Me: Name on card is wrong
Ashok: Yes, fax me you “bazzbord foto pleaze” to correct.
Me: Ashok, I gave you guys the passport photos, I filled out the application myself, I re confirmed when your bank called me. I am sick and tired of your “passport photos”. My picture is everywhere by now. I believe every secret service entity on this planet knows who I am and how I look like. You have it in your file, computer what ever…it has got to be there somewhere. Check the cafeteria walls, the bathroom walls, the trash bin.
Ashok: yes, our most excellent service customer is always right. Blease fax “bazzbord foto” to correct.
Me: damn it Ashok…fine. Give me your fax number..
5 days later, I receive the card with correct name.
Called to activate:
Bot: Please “kindly” enter your pin
Me: I don’t have a pin.
Bot: Please “kindly” enter your pin
Me: I DON’T HAVE A phuckin PIN!!!
Bot: Please ENTER your pin.
Me: no pin!...pin no…pin nicht izt heir….pin mafee…pin no trabajo…NO PIN
Bot: Please hold for “first class customer service representative”
Me: aah…finally.
Rajeish: I am Rajeish, how can I be of excellent service?
Me: Card activation…since I do not have pin yet…get it? No pin, no activation.
Rajeish: Most veelcome sirt…can you confirm your birthday.
Me: yeh…its dd/mm/yyyy
Rajeish: Thousand apologies sir. But that is not what we have in system.
Me: Maybe I made a ****oo..thinking US mm/dd/yyyy instead of dd/mm/yyyy European. Ok try…mm/dd/yyy.
Rajeish: Thousand apologies sir. But that is not what we have in system.
Me: check again!
Rajeish: Thousand apologies sir. But that is…
Me: I know…you are up to 3 thousand apologies by now…
Rajeish: Yes sir, you fax “bazzbord foto please” to correct birth date.
Me: SON OF A 2#$%%#$ FU#$@%t@ SH#$@ PIECE OF @#$@%^@. You can take that passport %$%^@^ and stick it up your @#%!!!!
Rajeish: Thousand apologies sir, but here is our fax number.
Me: I HAVE YOUR $%@#^# FAX number!!!
Rajeish: Thousand apologies sir, you are most velcome.
Got a call from an agent who is/was/willing/unwilling/wanna/maybe/sort of/kind of/only when the stars align/ handling delivery of my personal belongings from Jabal Ali, local harbor.
Day 1 via email
Rmeish: Yez..we have container here in harbor with your name. May we kindly ask for Bill of Lading
Me: here it is attached. Do you need anything else, like passport photos or visa?
No response.
Day 2 via email
Rmeish: Ve need “bazzbord fotos pleez”
Me: You know, I did ask you this yesterday, but here they are attached in the email AND copies of visa and all the other documents you could hang on your wall. Do you require ANYTHING ELSE…here is my mobile CALL ME!!
Day 3 via email
Rmeish: Sir, we need oreegeenal beell of landing
Me: Whats an “original” bill of lading? I gave all I have, describe original? Stamp? Sign? Food coloring? CALL ME!!! Here is my mobile.
Day 4 via email
Rmeish: Sir, we need oreegeenal documents, kindly supply. They are charging you holding fees.
Me: What the @%#$% do they look like? What do you mean? I gave you all I have. Describe it. Call me NOW!! Give me your mobile.
Day5 via email
Rmeish: Sir, we need oreegeenal documents, urgent supply. More charges on the container due to delays.
Me: Are you F$%#^@ READING MY EMAILS?
Day6 via email
Rmeish: Sir, oreegeeenal documents are requested. Please send.
Me: went to my office and got a stamp says “original”. Stamped “Original” all over the documents and signed with red and blue ink. Rmeish, I have the “oreegeenal. Where do you want me to send it?
Rmeish: Small roundabout behind new building.
Me: Small roundabout? What roundabout..what new building?
Day7 via email
Rmeish: Sir, pleeeze oreegeenal documents must be presented. Your fees are very high.
Me: I know! you ding dong…I need your address…or send someone to pick them up.
Rmeish: Small roundabout behind new building.
Me: What the??? Are you kidding me?
Screw this,
Day 8
Got a cab and told him, “small roundabout behind new building”
Cab driver: Yes of course.
Me: I should have known.
We drive for about 30 minutes until we came to a small roundabout and sure enough, there was a new building among 90 or so old ones.
Me: Rmeish, here are the documents and look, they say original. Satisfied?
Rmeish: Yes, do you have bazzbord foto with you?
Me: why, I gave it to you in the email
Rmeish: Yes, but I need oreegeenal bazzbord foto
Me: What the @#$@% is oreegeenal bazzbord foto…a passport foto cant be an orginal because it is a copy of the original passport.
Rmeish: Sir, we must to “haste” too much fees?
Me: Haste? We must do Haste? What the hell do you think I have been trying to do Rmeish. Whats with the “HASTE” anyway..how the heck did you pick that up overnight?
Rmeish: Pardon sir?
Me: Who put the bop in the bop she bop she bop?
Rmeish: Yes, you are right…bazzbord oreegeenal not required.
Me: No ****!
Rmeish: Thank you, I am fine.
Me: Can we go to get my stuff now?
Rmeish: Today, Thursday they close early so we must wait for Sunday.
Me: WHAT THE??? You have GOT TO BE FU#$@% KIDDING MEEEEEEEE!!!
Rmeish: Yes, must wait for Sunday.
I gave up worrying about it...when it happens it happens.
Anyway…..
Days of 100+ degree temperatures including 80% humidity, dusty, hazy. Drivers are always eager to run over anyone everyone. Everybody is in a rush to get somewhere sometime but no one knows why. Water is from the seas, biggest desalination plants on the planet are here. So big you cant tell if they are power plants or water filtration plants. The place is run by workers from the Asia Pac. They are the bulk of the systems here. Without them, this place will just stop.
It is so hot here that bus stops have ACs. I never understood how they signal to stop though. The malls are open till midnight, sometimes till later for special occasions. The malls are packed and they are building bigger ones every month.
Although, I have to admit…the vision that has been brought up this place is amazing. The rulers are doing the unthinkable in terms of building the bigger the better. In fact, they are building the biggest “green” studies center in the whole world just a few miles away. This place is on steroids and all thanks to a few good men who are running it. They did here in just 10 years what took others decades….
Oh yeh, the food is good.
Arabian Feejer.
