My buddy ***

[evilmedic13]

Everybody who has a dog calls him "Rover" or "Spot" I made

the mistake of calling mine "***".

Now *** has been very embarrassing to me. When I went to

city hall to renew his dog license, I told the clerk I would like

a license for ***. He said "I'd like to have one too!" Then I

said "But this is for a dog." He said "I don't care what she

looks like." Then I said "You don't understand, I've had ***

since I was nine years old." He said "You must have been quite a

kid."

When I got married and went on my honeymoon, I took the dog

with me. Not wanting the dog to bother us, I told the clerk that

I wanted a room for my wife and I and a special room for ***. He

said that every room in the place was for ***. I said "You don't

understand, *** keeps me awake at night." The clerk said "Me

too."

One day I entered *** in a dog show, before the competition

began, Another contestant asked me what I was doing. I told him

that I planned to have *** in the show. He said that I should

have sold my own tickets. When I asked if the show was televised

he called me a pervert.

I left my dog at the Veterinarian. When I went to pick him

up I said "I've come for my dog." She said "Which one Spot or

Rover?" I said "What about ***?" She slapped me. After I

straightened out the misunderstanding, I asked if *** was good

for her. She slapped me again.

*** ran away, I went to the dog pound. As I was looking in

all the cages the operator came up to me. I said I'm looking for ***.

He said I was looking in all the wrong places.

When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for

custody of the dog. I said "Your Honor I had *** before I was

married." He said "What's your point, so did I." I said "But my

wife wants to take *** away." He said "That's what happens in a

divorce."

Last night *** ran off. I spent hours looking for him all

over town. A cop came over to me and asked, "What are you doing

in this alley at 4 o'clock in the morning?" I said I was looking

for ***....... My case comes up Friday.

 

[Silver Penguin]

Funniest thing I've read in a long time.

 

[ponyfool]

That was funny! The only part I can see not in there is when *** is at the end of the bed watching my wife and I, but doesn't get involved, rather, just watches!

 

[vectervp1]

True story, my roommate when I was in my early 20's had a cat he named ***. His reasoning was he would always have *** in the apt then.

 

[1FJR]

My neighbor has a cat named **** head. Real funny when she is out looking for her cat, or is that her boyfriend that she is yelling for.

 

[RonBB]

Had an Alaskan Malamute named NaNook. The neighbors always looked at me funny when I was out in the yard calling and looking for "Nookie" True story.

 

[Honzo]

I'm a pilot. I have a dachshund named Runway. People that know I'm a pilot are confused by the dog's name. I am confused by people.

 

[HaulinAshe]

When I was five, I named my dog "Jeff". For years I could claim that I didn't know if my Mom was yelling for the dog or me. When "Jeff Dog" died several years later, my life became tough. My parents wouldn't let me name the next hound "Jeff".

Had a friend who's Dad named their dog "*********". Man was that funny to hear him called.

An old, OLD fart I knew in Texas, adopted one of those greyhound track dogs. Named it "*****". Said he was always being accused of chasing "*****", might as well be guilty of it.

I really must stop now.