My Dad and Mom Warned me

[dcarver]

My Pops is 91 now....

and he has stories..

Tell me what your Mom and/or Dad 'advised' to you?

In my life, my Mom died young.

Dad had to work.

I've pretty much learned all I know 'on my own' ---

how about you?

What lessons ring true through the test of time?

... I wonder if this philoshpical thread dies before born

........of it takes off in a universe uknown.

 

[madmike2]

Dad said, "Son, if you ever need a helping hand, look at the end of your arm."

I have more......

 

[FJR-RemingtonRider]

[SIZE=10pt]As it is always a philosophical treasure to wonder of the impression of one's parental impact in their true direction in life.[/SIZE]

The journey is always one that is taken alone and is never ending, until the end itself.

My parents happened to be seniors when they raised my 3 sisters and me, and the lessons they taught us in a small country town on a farm where at the time

we only knew it to be a hard path of stern love. Cattle, horses, chickens, pigs, and a garden we hand tilled and raised what we ate; for the most part.

It's always later when you realize the infinite wisdom that was bestowed upon you and the lessons begin to take hold.

Treat others as you want to be treated...common but reinforced.

Respect your elders' with proper responses and proper acknowledgement...honor

Be a better man, than those you see around you.

Just wait to you have kids, huh??? Now I know.

I constantly find myself sharing stories of my upbringing with my teenage son, hoping I can capture some of the essence of my parents wisdom,

and help him on his path...because now that's the ultimate journey now....The Kids.....

 

[FJRay]

When I was 15 i was sure I knew how to rule the world so my Dad being a smart man kicked my smart *** out of the house and let me figure it out. I made it for a while but had to learn to be humble and get back in the house so I could graduate. If you ddid that today it would be abuse. Was a great lesson for me.

 

[SPORT]

I've learned who I DON"T want to become from my dad.

Not a bad man, just a poor and abusive parent.

on the bright side:

He did teach me that there is ALWAYS work to be had.

 

[FJR-Don]

My Dad passed away Feb 8th 1977 just before my 17th birthday(He was 51)... He had heart problems from the time I was 4 years old, My Dad pushed real hard to teach me everything he could before he died.. at the time I hated it thinking he was just a hard ***, but now I know he was just packing a life time of teaching into a short time. Mom is 84 and still lives in the same house for the past 65 years in SoCal, That old house really feels like Home... Mom was Mom

always there to feed me and patch me up and that was alot....

This passed Nov my Grandmother passed away at age 104 she had no medical problems and was still sharp of mind, just took a nap and kept sleeping....

I don't know a better way to end a great life. One of the words of wisdom she told me was "Spend your life getting even with the people that have done

you right and forget about the people that have done you wrong"

 

[08FJR4ME]

My Dad passed away Feb 8th 1977 just before my 17th birthday(He was 51)... He had heart problems from the time I was 4 years old, My Dad pushed real hard to teach me everything he could before he died.. at the time I hated it thinking he was just a hard ***, but now I know he was just packing a life time of teaching into a short time. Mom is 84 and still lives in the same house for the past 65 years in SoCal, That old house really feels like Home... Mom was Momalways there to feed me and patch me up and that was alot....

This passed Nov my Grandmother passed away at age 104 she had no medical problems and was still sharp of mind, just took a nap and kept sleeping....

I don't know a better way to end a great life. One of the words of wisdom she told me was "Spend your life getting even with the people that have done

you right and forget about the people that have done you wrong"

A Very wise person.

 

[Patriot]

Dad died of no symptoms heart attack suddenly April '87, 3 months after my wedding at 65yrs old

Mom passed on Mother's Day weekend (Mon, 5pm) May '07 at 73

they are/were really good people and my brother and I are fortunate

Dad was an Army medic in the Pacific theatre WWII and carried a burden around with him

here's some of the wisdom I carry around...pretty much from my Mom

send flowers to people you admire and/or love while they are still alive

there is no manual for parenting

do not stay angry with someone you care about...you don't want the last words you say or hear to be hateful

shared joy is double joy...shared sorrow is half

to live above with the saints we love...oh, that will be glory

but to live below with the saints we know...that's another story

there are two things we should defintiely leave to our children...roots and wings

every night, forgive everyone everything before going to bed

I love you Mom...I love you Dad...until we meet again...

 

[Leskid]

my Dad being a smart man kicked my smart *** out of the house and let me figure it out.

Where I was raised, everyone had dirtbikes and streetbikes. So my parents started early drilling-in to my little brain that motorcycles are evil, dangerous, the road to hell... If I ever got one, I would not be living under their roof.

One day when I was 17, they returned from a weekend trip to find me jumping off the manure pile in back of the barn on my new (to me) Yamaha DT250 street & trail. Not to have his bluff called, out on the street I went. At least I had wheels (but no plate or insurance). I crashed at some friends place, took out my first loan and bought a 1 yr old 1982 Seca 650 so I was FREEEEEEEEEEE!!!

And I'm still here..... Does that count as a lesson?

EDIT - my Dad did coin a phrase at appropriate moments which soooo many times, has rung true in my head. "Take your time, you'll get there faster"

 

[Silver Penguin]

Great idea for a discussion DC.

I can't think of any specific life lessons, other than ATGATT. That was a given in our house, which I was reminded of when I hopped onto the back of a boyfriend's bike, wearing a dress and a helmet.

Parents made the rules and were to be respected. If the rules (normal, reasonable ones) were broken there were always consequences. My brother and I had chores which were to be done, no matter what. Those were our job and we learned that you do your job without excuses, every day. I don't recall my father ever calling in sick to work.

Loved the quote about remembering the people who do you right and forgetting those who do you wrong. Wise words.

 

[Geezer]

I can't think of any specific words of wisdom. Mom and Dad were very tolerant, taught by example, and sort of let me and my brothers go our own way and then make corrections if they saw us veer off course too far. Dad worked hard and long and I didn't see as much of him as I would have liked when I was growing up. I can remember rebuilding an engine when I was a teenager and went to ask Dad for advice about something. He had no idea what I was talking about. Up to that point I always thought that he had taught me how do do everything I knew, but then I realized that he taught me how to figure things out and the confidence to do them myself. That lesson has gotten me through many of life's challenges.

 

[gregory]

My mom passed at the age of 60 ten years ago last November. One of the many things she taught me that sticks out the most is this. Life is not about the destination, but the journey. Took me a while to figure it out, but I have a pretty good understanding of it now. From my dad I learned that you have to pay to play (you want a ??? then get a job and go get it). Never really told me that in so many words, but I seem to have picked it up somewhere......

Great thread DC!

Greg

 

[johnny80s]

Granpa taught me "If it's worth doin, it's worth doin right."

 

[madmike2]

By example and by counsel:

Do things right the first time and you won't suffer the pain and embarrassment of having to "re-do".

This philosophy seems to work well in all aspects of life, from jobs, chores, schooling, personal relationships and parenting. At least it has worked fairly well for me.

One thing I remember from my dad was that he always left anything better.

If he had to borrow a vehicle, it was returned washed and full of gas.

When we went camping, the camp spot was left raked and neat, fire pit doused, extra firewood left stacked.

When neighbors left for vacation their lawns were watered (Yes...long before timed sprinklers) and mowed when we did ours. Their trash cans were put out and stored away.

I suppose that's a concrete part of being neighbor/friend. It's now part of who I am and is passed to my daughter.

Another principle in our home was doing right because it's right.

My parents had expectations and they weren't printed out or listed. We were expected to obey. Like Jill's folks, we were expected to do our chores. We were expected to dump the trash, pick up our things and put them in our rooms, keep the house neat and orderly, do our school work.

We were expected to act honorably with our parent's friends and our own. We were expected to make good life choices and pay the consequences for our errors in judgment. Soooo, for instance, if we were caught stealing, we needn't think our folks would rescue us. Lies were considered stealing truth.

In retrospect, this wasn't as harsh as it sounds but provided a rather strong foundation to forge my sister and I from self-centered children into functioning adults.

[SIZE=8pt]My parent's are to be excused for MY failures. Every family has their anomaly...it's a role I cherish![/SIZE]

One last thing: We were loved. No matter what mistakes we made we weren't hated for them, we were loved through them and encouraged to get back on the correct path. It seems that love really does cover a multitude of sins.

 

[Solo]

I was sitting here this morning thinking about Dad. After a bit I thought I’d check out the forum, and the first post I clicked on was this. **** Carver…how did you know?

I rebelled big time as a kid—I bought a bike despite his “strong” objections, but when I started racing he was in my pit stall when I broke my collar bone in a crash that was talked about years later.

I knew I would never do what he did (lawyer), but I have become him (lawyer).

I stole some things from a 5-and-10 store when I was in 5th grade. When a friend, also in on the deal, gave cheap rings to every girl in the class, the jig was up. My Dad marched me down to talk to the manager of the store to find out how I could make amends. The manager said, “When you are old enough to work, come back to see me.”

1st lesson—don’t lie, cheat or steal…you will get caught.

I went to work for the manager when I turned 15.

2nd lesson—even if not paying off a debt, work hard and give more than expected.

In the small town I grew up in, people knew me as “Joe’s boy.” My Dad’s word has always been his bond.

3rd lesson—respect is earned.

All 4 of us kids were interviewed by an author who was writing a book about the Mayors of Marshall, Michigan, Dad being one of them. After some time she said, “There is a word I am not hearing…love.”

Big lesson—most parents give what they can. We may not recognize it as love, but what they give may be the only way they can express it. Read between the lines and realize how much you are loved.

I love you Dad.

p.s. Thanks Carver

 

[wfooshee]

A couple from Dad, questions like "What would you think if someone did that to you?"

While learning to drive: "How deep is that water?" Me: "I don't know." "Then why are you driving into it?"

Mom's lesson was more by example rather than direct instruction. I learned from her not to be a manipulative gossipy whiner whose every problem was somebody else's fault. She's gone now, so the rest of us are finally at peace.

 

[ShinyPartsUp]

My Dad died when I was 3. My mom worked a lot. I tended to get advice from the nuns.

Some wisdom from three of them before I graduated from St. Columbkille High School:

"Why don't you go out and play in traffic?"

"Why don't you go to a deserted island and die?"

"Don't forget to wear condoms, we wouldn't want any more like you."

I learned to mistrust authority. :lol:

 

[FJReady]

When I was a kid, my Dad was fond of saying: " Keep your ears open and your mouth shut and you might learn something" . I think it was his way of keeping me and my brother quiet.

 

[Bokerfork]

Damn DC, where to begin.

My Dad had a couple of sayings. We were dirt bike riders and saw a young kid ride up the downhill side of a mine one time. Never heard from him again. My Dad said.

"Stay on the marked trail"

Another time, back in the early 70's a rider was going on and on about how wonderful his new Honda 350 was. My Dad mentioned that it couldn't be that great if he didn't have anything bad to say about it.

I still don't know what he meant, but it sounded deep.

The most interesting thing I ever heard was from my son who mentioned to me that the greatest fear any kid has, is that of disappointing his parents.

I'm happy to say that I tried like hell not to disappoint mine,,,, and my son has never disappointed me.

I couldn't be happier about either.

Again, thanks DC