Now that's how to write a Craigslist ad

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Tyler

Miss Demeanor
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Just had to share this as I found it extremely witty and creative... a manly-man's bike indeed!! :lol:

Linky to ad.

If I could, I would... ;)

For those that don't do linky and for the prosperity of keeping such an ad alive, here is the text of it:

OK, let me start off by saying this XL is only available for purchase by the manliest of men (or women). My friend, if it was possible for a dirt bike to sprout chest hair and a five o'clock shadow, this Honda would look like Tom Selleck. It is just that manly.

It was never intended to ride down a grass filled ditch in your LBZ baggy gear looking like a spode. It wasn't meant to do 3-foot long pop wheelies in front of your hillbilly friends in your cousin's back yard while everyone drinks Budweiser. No, that's what a 50 is for. If that's the kind of bike you're looking for, then just do us all a favor and stop reading right now. This bike has been to hell and back, twice, and has the scars to prove it. So if you can't handle being seen behind the bars of this biblical, fire breathing, dragon slaying hero because it has a few purple hearts, move on.

This bike was engineered by 3rd degree ninja pirate super-warriors in the highest mountains of Japan to serve the needs of the man that cheats death on a daily basis. They didn't even consider superfluous Nancy boy, contradictory decor in the form of Monster, Red Bull, Spy, Oakley, FMF, and Pro Circuit stickers plastered all over the bike. This bike looks legit because it is.

This brute comes with the things us testosterone-fueled super action junkies need. It has a 600cc to fly down the trail or to outrun the cops and has a 6-speed transmission so you know grandma won't be taking off with it when you're not looking. It's saved my bacon more than once. It's got special blood/gore resistant grippy seat cover. It even has a first-aid kit in the back. You know what the first aid kit has in it? A pint of whiskey, a stitch-your-own-wound kit and a hunk of leather to bite down on when you're operating on yourself. (NOTE: I cut myself fighting a streetbiker who looked at me funny and used the first aid kit, a replacement kit is available for an additional $100 and comes with Gentleman's Jack.)

My price on this bad boy is an incredibly low $1600 but I'll entertain reasonable offers. And by reasonable, I mean don't walk up and tell me you'll give me $500 for it. That's liable to earn you a Burmese-roundhouse-sphincter-kick with a follow up three fingered eye-***. Would it hurt? Hell yeah. Let's just say you won't be the prettiest guy at the Coldplay concert anymore.

There's only 25,000 miles on this hellcat from Planet Kickass since purchased in 83'. Trust me, it will outlive you and the offspring that will carry your name. It will live on as a monument to your machismo.

Now, go look in the mirror and tell me what you see. If it's a rugged, no holds barred, super brute he-man macho Chuck Norris stunt double, then reply to this ad. I might be out hang-gliding or BASE jumping or just chilling with my lady, but leave a message and I'll get back to you. And when I do, we'll talk about a price over a nice glass of Schmidt while we listen to Johnny Cash.

Call Dan @ 805-300-7761

God bless -- Buy It
Brilliant!! B)

 
Tylerbabe, the seller did not list the fact that the bike pee's standing up and can do its initials in the snow in capital letters...

lesser men and children should stay away...

FWFE

 
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Too much bike for me, that's why I have a girly man Yamaha WR450F.

wr08-L.jpg


I'm thinking a manly man like Bungie should buy that Honda. Andy need not apply.

 
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Too much bike for me, that's why I have a girly man Yamaha WR450F.

wr08-L.jpg


I'm thinking a manly man like Bungie should buy that Honda. Andy need not apply.

Well, I'll say one thing. You must have some serious big-assed cojones to post a photo like that in public forum. I mean, dude! Your are one ugly ************! :lol:

Tyler - thanks for posting that - freaking hilarious ad!

 
Too much bike for me, that's why I have a girly man Yamaha WR450F.

wr08-L.jpg


I'm thinking a manly man like Bungie should buy that Honda. Andy need not apply.

Well, I'll say one thing. You must have some serious big-assed cojones to post a photo like that in public forum. I mean, dude! Your are one ugly ************! :lol:

Tyler - thanks for posting that - freaking hilarious ad!
Aren't you just the pot calling the kettle black.

 
Too much bike for me, that's why I have a girly man Yamaha WR450F.

wr08-L.jpg


I'm thinking a manly man like Bungie should buy that Honda. Andy need not apply.

Well, I'll say one thing. You must have some serious big-assed cojones to post a photo like that in public forum. I mean, dude! Your are one ugly ************! :lol:

Tyler - thanks for posting that - freaking hilarious ad!
Aren't you just the pot calling the kettle black.
Yeah, Big Ears! And my good friend Bill is not an ugly ************; he is a Canadian, there is a difference eh!

SkooterBoy.jpg


 
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Too much bike for me, that's why I have a girly man Yamaha WR450F.

wr08-L.jpg


I'm thinking a manly man like Bungie should buy that Honda. Andy need not apply.
That ad's funny, but if a WR450F is a "girly man" bike, I'm in a lot of trouble, cuz I thought my buddy's was bad ass...Gawd I'm such a puss these days!!

 
Yeah, Big Ears! And my good friend Bill is not an ugly ************; he is a Canadian, there is a difference eh!
It took years of eating poutine & back bacon on top of 100's of liters of Molson 'Vitamin X' to develop my look.

Thanks for the backup Don. However, I don't understand why you never just crazy glued your illegitimate bastard stepson's ears to the side of his head in an attempt to at least try to make him look normal.

 
Yeah, Big Ears! And my good friend Bill is not an ugly ************; he is a Canadian, there is a difference eh!
It took years of eating poutine & back bacon on top of 100's of liters of Molson 'Vitamin X' to develop my look.

Thanks for the backup Don. However, I don't understand why you never just crazy glued your illegitimate bastard stepson's ears to the side of his head in an attempt to at least try to make him look normal.
Bill, there is not a glue on Earth strong enough to pin down Greg's Dumbo flapper ears!

 
The following paragraph caused me to spew coffee...

My price on this bad boy is an incredibly low $1600 but I'll entertain reasonable offers. And by reasonable, I mean don't walk up and tell me you'll give me $500 for it.

That's liable to earn you a Burmese-roundhouse-sphincter-kick with a follow up three fingered eye-***. Would it hurt? Hell yeah. Let's just say you won't be the prettiest guy at the Coldplay concert anymore.

 
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The following paragraph caused me to spew coffee...

My price on this bad boy is an incredibly low $1600 but I'll entertain reasonable offers. And by reasonable, I mean don't walk up and tell me you'll give me $500 for it.

That's liable to earn you a Burmese-roundhouse-sphincter-kick with a follow up three fingered eye-***. Would it hurt? Hell yeah. Let's just say you won't be the prettiest guy at the Coldplay concert anymore.
https://www.cycletrader.com/listing/1985-HONDA-XR600R-99443959 Here is what made me spew my morning coffee: This moron seller Dan that insanely thinks that he can get more than $1K for an XR600R, no matter how cute his Craigslist ad is - this bike is still not worth more than $750 at anytime or anywhere! With 25K miles on it and with it being totally stock: It's barely is worth $500! Verdad, no dirt farkles on it!

 
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https://www.cycletrad...XR600R-99443959 Here is what made me spew my morning coffee: This moron seller Dan that insanely thinks that he can get more than $1K for an XR600R, no matter how cute his Craigslist ad is - this bike is still not worth more than $750 at anytime or anywhere! With 25K miles on it and with it being beat to ****: It is barely is worth $500! Plus, no dirt farkles on it!
We are talking about a dirt bike that is almost 30 years old. The only folks crazy enough to part with that kind of money would be those vintage weirdos. You need the kicking power of a mule to get one of those clunkers running. If you ever tipped one over and stalled it you might as well set up camp for the night because once they were flooded there was no way to get that pig going again.

The seller's best bet is to haul that junker off to the scrapyard and get the going rate for pig iron.

 
https://www.cycletrad...XR600R-99443959 Here is what made me spew my morning coffee: This moron seller Dan that insanely thinks that he can get more than $1K for an XR600R, no matter how cute his Craigslist ad is - this bike is still not worth more than $750 at anytime or anywhere! With 25K miles on it and with it being beat to ****: It is barely is worth $500! Plus, no dirt farkles on it!
We are talking about a dirt bike that is almost 30 years old. The only folks crazy enough to part with that kind of money would be those vintage weirdos. You need the kicking power of a mule to get one of those clunkers running. If you ever tipped one over and stalled it you might as well set up camp for the night because once they were flooded there was no way to get that pig going again.

The seller's best bet is to haul that junker off to the scrapyard and get the going rate for pig iron.
+1, Gunny; Mi Amigo yamafitter is correct, these Honda's weren't great dirt bikes when they were new and a XR600R 30 years old is even worse!

 
The following paragraph caused me to spew coffee...

My price on this bad boy is an incredibly low $1600 but I'll entertain reasonable offers. And by reasonable, I mean don't walk up and tell me you'll give me $500 for it.

That's liable to earn you a Burmese-roundhouse-sphincter-kick with a follow up three fingered eye-***. Would it hurt? Hell yeah. Let's just say you won't be the prettiest guy at the Coldplay concert anymore.
https://www.cycletrad...XR600R-99443959 Here is what made me spew my morning coffee: This moron seller Dan that insanely thinks that he can get more than $1K for an XR600R, no matter how cute his Craigslist ad is - this bike is still not worth more than $750 at anytime or anywhere! With 25K miles on it and with it being totally stock: It's barely is worth $500! Verdad, no dirt farkles on it!
I think the mark-up is due to the custom exhaust!
laugh.gif


 
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