donaldb
Well-known member
Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana. He
performs underwater repairs on offshore
drilling rigs. Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent
it to
radio station 103.2 on FM dial in Ft. Wayne, Indiana, who was sponsoring
a
worst job experience contest. Needless to say, she won.
"Hi Sue, Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother.
Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling
down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to
make you realize it's not so bad after all. Before I can tell you what
happened to
me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job. As you
know,
my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office.
It's a wetsuit. This time of year the water is quite cool. So what we do
to
keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water heater.
This
$20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it
to a
delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver through a
garden
hose, which is taped to the air hose. Now this sounds like a darn good
plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints. What I do, when
I
get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down
the
back of my wetsuit. This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like
working in a Jacuzzi. Everything was going well until all of a sudden,
my butt
started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things
worse.
Within a few seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose out from
my
back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened.
The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my
suit. Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish
couldn't
stick to it. However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate. When I
scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the
jellyfish into
the crack of my butt. I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over
the communicator. His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he,
along with five other divers, were all laughing hysterically. Needless
to say
I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water
decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes before I could reach
the
surface to begin my chamber dry decompression. When I arrived at the
surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet. As I climbed out of
the
water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed
me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in
the chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for two
days because my butt was swollen shut.
So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much
worse it
would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt. Now repeat to
yourself,
"I love my job, I love my job, I love my job."
Now whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself, is this a jellyfish bad
day?
May you NEVER have a jellyfish bad day!!!!!
performs underwater repairs on offshore
drilling rigs. Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent
it to
radio station 103.2 on FM dial in Ft. Wayne, Indiana, who was sponsoring
a
worst job experience contest. Needless to say, she won.
"Hi Sue, Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother.
Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling
down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to
make you realize it's not so bad after all. Before I can tell you what
happened to
me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job. As you
know,
my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office.
It's a wetsuit. This time of year the water is quite cool. So what we do
to
keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water heater.
This
$20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it
to a
delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver through a
garden
hose, which is taped to the air hose. Now this sounds like a darn good
plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints. What I do, when
I
get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down
the
back of my wetsuit. This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like
working in a Jacuzzi. Everything was going well until all of a sudden,
my butt
started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things
worse.
Within a few seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose out from
my
back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened.
The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my
suit. Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish
couldn't
stick to it. However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate. When I
scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the
jellyfish into
the crack of my butt. I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over
the communicator. His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he,
along with five other divers, were all laughing hysterically. Needless
to say
I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water
decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes before I could reach
the
surface to begin my chamber dry decompression. When I arrived at the
surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet. As I climbed out of
the
water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed
me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in
the chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for two
days because my butt was swollen shut.
So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much
worse it
would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt. Now repeat to
yourself,
"I love my job, I love my job, I love my job."
Now whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself, is this a jellyfish bad
day?
May you NEVER have a jellyfish bad day!!!!!
