Ole and Lena

[fossilrider]

Ole, out on the golf course, takes a high speed ball right in the crotch. Writhing in agony, he falls to the ground. As soon as he could manage, he took himself to the doctor.

He said "How bad is it, doc?...I'm going on my honeymoon next veek and my fiance, Lena, is still a wirgin - in every vay." The doctor told him, "I'll have to put your Willie in a splint to let it heal and keep it straight. It should be okay next week." He took four tongue depressors and formed a neat little 4 sided splint, and taped it all together... quite an impressive work of art.

Ole mentions none of this to Lena, marries her, and they go on their honeymoon. That night in the motel room, Lena rips open her blouse to reveal her beautiful untouched "Ta ta's". She said, "You're the first vun. No vun has EVER seen deez."

Ole immediate drops his pants and replies, "Look at dis,

....still in DA CRATE!"

 

[Bandit12]

Ole and Lena are out for a spring ride. Ole starts feeling his oats and says to Lena over the Autocom,

"Hey Lena? What do ya say ve pull over der for a bit of loving?"

Lena: "Oh no Ole! I can't! It's that time of the month!"

"Aw Lena....."

"Ole, I told you no!"

A few more miles and Ole is thinking hard and says:

"Hey Lena? How 'bout the back door!"

"Oh no Ole! I can't! I got the piles!"

"Aw Lena....."

"Ole, I told you no!"

A few more miles slide by and Ole spots a little grove of trees a short ways up a side road.

He pulls in and stops the bike. As Lena gets off the bike she sees the look in Ole's eyes and tells him:

"Ole! I told you it's that time of the month and I got the piles! No way are we gonna...."

Ole looks her square in the eye and says:

"Lena! You can't tell me you got lockjaw!"

 

[fjrchik]

awesome! ole and lena are the best. the last one is missing the northern accent but its still damn funny!