OOF-DA: A Minnesota Joke!

[beemerdons]

OOF-DA



It was a hot day in Minnesota. Helga hung the wash out to dry and then went into town to pick up her dry cleaning.

“Goodness, its hotter den hell today”, she mused to herself as she walked down Main Street.

She passed a tavern and thought to herself, “Vy nodt…”

The bartender walked up to her and said: “And what would you like to drink today?”

“Vell ya know” Helga said in a timid voice, “I don’t usually go into da bars but today I vill make an exception. It iss zo hot, I tink I vill have myself a beer.”

The bartender smiled at Helga and asked: “Anheuser Busch?”

Helga blushed and said: “Vell, it’s fine, tanks, and how’s yur viener.”

 

[Surly]

Friendly folk.

 

[SwollenRaccoon]

Lena came back from a doctor's appointment. She tells Ole, "The doctor says I got acute angina". Ole says, "Well, your **** ain't too bad either".

Yes, we know Ole, Lena, Sven, Helga, Lars, and all the others here in Minnesota.

 

[africord]

Yah sure, spent 14 years in St. Paul, right der in Como Park, but moved south to thaw out.

 

[wheatonFJR]

Yah sure, spent 14 years in St. Paul, right der in Como Park, but moved south to thaw out.

Ya hey der, you gotta hitch yer wagon and move farther south. I know that the Swedes don't think it's cold in NE, but you could do betterer...

 

[beemerdons]

Lena came back from a doctor's appointment. She tells Ole, "The doctor says I got acute angina". Ole says, "Well, your **** ain't too bad either".
Yes, we know Ole, Lena, Sven, Helga, Lars, and all the others here in Minnesota.

Swollen Raccoon, here in the Southwest we tell HotRodZilla jokes; got a hundred AJ jokes, usually involving his pig Lupita! jes' sayin' and nuff said, La Puerca!

 

[Abercrombie FJR]

Lena came back from a doctor's appointment. She tells Ole, "The doctor says I got acute angina". Ole says, "Well, your **** ain't too bad either".
Yes, we know Ole, Lena, Sven, Helga, Lars, and all the others here in Minnesota.

Swollen Raccoon, here in the Southwest we tell HotRodZilla jokes; got a hundred AJ jokes, usually involving his pig Lupita! jes' sayin' and nuff said, La Puerca!

That picture never gets old. I smile every time I see it. Sorry Zilla.

 

[Tanker]

Thanks for that one Don!!

A husband and wife in Minneapolis were listening to the radio during breakfast.



They heard the announcer say, “We are going to have 8 to 10 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even-numbered side of the street, so the
snow plows can get through.” So the good wife went out and moved her car.

A week later while they are eating breakfast again, the radio announcer said, “We are expecting 10 to 12 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the odd-numbered side of the street, so the snow plows can get through.” The good wife went out and moved her car again.

The next week they are again having breakfast, when the radio announcer says, “We are expecting 12 to 14 inches of snow today. You must park….” Then the electric power went out. The good wife was very upset, and with a worried look on her face she said, “I don’t know what to do. Which side of the street do I need to park on so the snow plows can get through?”

Then with the love and understanding in his voice that all men who are married to blondes exhibit, the husband replied, “Why don’t you just leave the car in the garage this time.”

 

[SwollenRaccoon]

Ole is riding his 6-cylinder BMW through town, with Lena as his passenger. He runs right through a red light, without even slowing down.

Lena yells, "Ole! Vat in da hell are you doing? Ve could have been killed!"

Ole replies, "It's OK, Sven does it all da time."

Same thing happens again, a block later. Lena yells at him again. Once again, Ole reassures here, "It's fine, Lena. Sven does it all da time."

A couple blocks later, the light is green. He stops the mighty BMW.

Lena says, "Ole, vat's wrong with you? The light is green!"

"I know, Lena" says Ole. "I'm looking out for Sven."

 

[jmdaniel]

Yah sure, spent 14 years in St. Paul, right der in Como Park, but moved south to thaw out.

FIFY; the h is silent...