Practical Jokes...
- Thread starter Patriot
- Start date
Help Support Yamaha FJR Motorcycle Forum:
LagerHead
Well-known member
That's hilarious. I was actually a Korean linguist in the Army so I got it right away. Those Korean cabbies are nuts for sure. Though on the upside after riding with them not much scares me any more.
Just a bit longer than me I see.
LMAO. Nicely played sir.
When I was in my senior year in high school, my buddies and I "adopted" this kid in the junior year. He was one of those naive, gullible, geeky kids that you just loved to tease. So we set up this riff which we carefully planned out:
One of my buddies asked him if he'd gotten his masturbation papers when he registered. Of course the kid said no and my friend told him that he'd be in big trouble if he was caught without papers. Over the next few weeks we all took turns talking to him about this problem, each time reinforcing and escalating the seriousness of the situation. Finally, when we figured he was sufficiently paranoid, we gathered around him in the schoolyard and told him he needed to act now because we'd heard the teachers were going to do a check in the gym classes the following week and any guys caught without papers were going to get in deep ****. We convinced him that the only solution was for him to go to the school nurse and get her to check his equipment and fill out the forms.
At that time we had Nurse Marks in the school, a short woman with a rather nasty disposition. That afternoon during recess, we took the kid to the nurse's office, saying we were there for moral support, and waited outside in the hallway.
Several minutes later, the kid came storming out of Nurse Mark's office, his face the colour of a red apple, and ran off up the hallway. He wouldn't talk to us for the next month and he never told us what exactly happened with the nurse.
I hope he turned out all right....
One of my buddies asked him if he'd gotten his masturbation papers when he registered. Of course the kid said no and my friend told him that he'd be in big trouble if he was caught without papers. Over the next few weeks we all took turns talking to him about this problem, each time reinforcing and escalating the seriousness of the situation. Finally, when we figured he was sufficiently paranoid, we gathered around him in the schoolyard and told him he needed to act now because we'd heard the teachers were going to do a check in the gym classes the following week and any guys caught without papers were going to get in deep ****. We convinced him that the only solution was for him to go to the school nurse and get her to check his equipment and fill out the forms.
At that time we had Nurse Marks in the school, a short woman with a rather nasty disposition. That afternoon during recess, we took the kid to the nurse's office, saying we were there for moral support, and waited outside in the hallway.
Several minutes later, the kid came storming out of Nurse Mark's office, his face the colour of a red apple, and ran off up the hallway. He wouldn't talk to us for the next month and he never told us what exactly happened with the nurse.
I hope he turned out all right....
Last edited by a moderator:
ionbeam
2 FUN
[oxymoron: Nerd Humor]
The setup: When I was working in communications electronics it could take 2-3 days to get all the electronic test equipment hooked up and configured. The test bench resembled the cockpit of a 747. When a tech finally got the whole bench all setup and ready for testing it was usually celebrated by taking a short break. While the tech was gone the others would find one subtle but critical cable, disconnect it and insulate the center signal pin then reconnect it. The betting was along the lines of a. how many hours it would take for them to find the problem b. how many days it would take c. how long before they asked for help. Now for the real practical jokes --
Once the culprit that broke the test setup was identified tricks were re-gifted to the perpetrator:
A construction crew was installing new fire extinguishers using ram-set guns to drive in the nails. Ram-sets use a blank cartridge from .22 cal to .38 cal, they are just like the rifle and pistol loads, but with a nail taking the place of the bullet. One tech in the revenge business took a couple of the .22 cartridges, less the nails, over to Bad Tech's bench (the one that broke his test setup). He carefully took a small gauge wire and wound it around the base of the rim-fire shells and then connected the wires to his bench power supply and set the power supply for full output. The next morning, at 6:45 am the blurry eyed Bad Tech comes in, sets down at his bench and flips on the power supply. The supply quickly heated the wire, thus firing both cartridges at once, just inches from his head. The results looked like a cartoon where a persons body flies apart then rejoins again. The tech enjoyed a full body sprain for several days afterwords.
Revenge II: Another tech needed to get it. The tech to deliver it went out and purchased a couple of boxes of flash bulbs (Remember those? This was a long time ago.) He very carefully attached the bulbs to the bench top, then up and around the shelf over the bench and down the other side. Then connected them all together and connected the bulbs to a power supply in such a way that when the bench power was switched on the power supply would switch on too. On an early morning the tech switched on the bench. When all the bulbs went off at once it initially looked like his hair was blown backwards, then his chair flipped over backwards leaving his feet sticking straight up in the air. Fortunately he wasn't hurt. It took a long while for him to get all his vision back.
At another company we had a Big Manager who was a former pro hockey player, a big tough guy. He had arachnophobia (fear of spiders) real bad. One day we found him standing on his desk shrieking like a little girl because there was a spider on the floor. He had a bad habit of never looking up from his desk when you came in to talk to him. He would answer you, but kept on writing and working. Almost every time, without looking he would reach into his upper right desk drawer for something and continue to not look at anything but what he was working on. Sooooo, when he went to lunch we took a large lobster, removed the bands from the claws and put it in his desk drawer. Shortly after he came back to work we had our patsy walk into his office and engage him in a conversation. All of manufacturing found an excuse to be just outside his office window. Sure as **** heck, without looking he opened the drawer and reached in. He levitated out of his chair and ricocheted off the ceiling, then overturned everything in his office as he streaked out the door making noises like a steam whistle.
There were always the little things, like remapping the executive secretary's keyboard so that no key produced the letter or symbol on the key. Filling desks with Styrofoam peanuts. One weekend the maintenance workers came in and removed the door frame from the maintenance manager's office, sheet rocked and painted all the new drywall. As a nice touch they left the window so he could look into his office and see a critical job memo on his desk that needed immediate attention but he couldn't get to it.
We had a braggart assembler that was better than anyone else -- until we replaced all the loose hardware in his kit with left-handed screws. Everyone told him that nothing was wrong, that he must have had a stroke or mental breakdown.
We had a very important customer coming in to evaluate our business with the potential of hundreds of millions of dollars worth of orders. Not knowing this, the guys in final assembly had spent several hours filling rubber gloves with helium, tying them off and letting them float to the ceiling. Many got painted and adorned with business inappropriate graphics. The entire ceiling looked like a bottom view of a milking herd with a few looking like a male adaptation of Shiva. We did get the order. The guys that decorated the ceiling did come to regret that little joke.
The setup: When I was working in communications electronics it could take 2-3 days to get all the electronic test equipment hooked up and configured. The test bench resembled the cockpit of a 747. When a tech finally got the whole bench all setup and ready for testing it was usually celebrated by taking a short break. While the tech was gone the others would find one subtle but critical cable, disconnect it and insulate the center signal pin then reconnect it. The betting was along the lines of a. how many hours it would take for them to find the problem b. how many days it would take c. how long before they asked for help. Now for the real practical jokes --
Once the culprit that broke the test setup was identified tricks were re-gifted to the perpetrator:
A construction crew was installing new fire extinguishers using ram-set guns to drive in the nails. Ram-sets use a blank cartridge from .22 cal to .38 cal, they are just like the rifle and pistol loads, but with a nail taking the place of the bullet. One tech in the revenge business took a couple of the .22 cartridges, less the nails, over to Bad Tech's bench (the one that broke his test setup). He carefully took a small gauge wire and wound it around the base of the rim-fire shells and then connected the wires to his bench power supply and set the power supply for full output. The next morning, at 6:45 am the blurry eyed Bad Tech comes in, sets down at his bench and flips on the power supply. The supply quickly heated the wire, thus firing both cartridges at once, just inches from his head. The results looked like a cartoon where a persons body flies apart then rejoins again. The tech enjoyed a full body sprain for several days afterwords.
Revenge II: Another tech needed to get it. The tech to deliver it went out and purchased a couple of boxes of flash bulbs (Remember those? This was a long time ago.) He very carefully attached the bulbs to the bench top, then up and around the shelf over the bench and down the other side. Then connected them all together and connected the bulbs to a power supply in such a way that when the bench power was switched on the power supply would switch on too. On an early morning the tech switched on the bench. When all the bulbs went off at once it initially looked like his hair was blown backwards, then his chair flipped over backwards leaving his feet sticking straight up in the air. Fortunately he wasn't hurt. It took a long while for him to get all his vision back.
At another company we had a Big Manager who was a former pro hockey player, a big tough guy. He had arachnophobia (fear of spiders) real bad. One day we found him standing on his desk shrieking like a little girl because there was a spider on the floor. He had a bad habit of never looking up from his desk when you came in to talk to him. He would answer you, but kept on writing and working. Almost every time, without looking he would reach into his upper right desk drawer for something and continue to not look at anything but what he was working on. Sooooo, when he went to lunch we took a large lobster, removed the bands from the claws and put it in his desk drawer. Shortly after he came back to work we had our patsy walk into his office and engage him in a conversation. All of manufacturing found an excuse to be just outside his office window. Sure as **** heck, without looking he opened the drawer and reached in. He levitated out of his chair and ricocheted off the ceiling, then overturned everything in his office as he streaked out the door making noises like a steam whistle.
There were always the little things, like remapping the executive secretary's keyboard so that no key produced the letter or symbol on the key. Filling desks with Styrofoam peanuts. One weekend the maintenance workers came in and removed the door frame from the maintenance manager's office, sheet rocked and painted all the new drywall. As a nice touch they left the window so he could look into his office and see a critical job memo on his desk that needed immediate attention but he couldn't get to it.
We had a braggart assembler that was better than anyone else -- until we replaced all the loose hardware in his kit with left-handed screws. Everyone told him that nothing was wrong, that he must have had a stroke or mental breakdown.
We had a very important customer coming in to evaluate our business with the potential of hundreds of millions of dollars worth of orders. Not knowing this, the guys in final assembly had spent several hours filling rubber gloves with helium, tying them off and letting them float to the ceiling. Many got painted and adorned with business inappropriate graphics. The entire ceiling looked like a bottom view of a milking herd with a few looking like a male adaptation of Shiva. We did get the order. The guys that decorated the ceiling did come to regret that little joke.
being tech types, the research will confirm the following. a small caliber pistol primer (used in the "caps") has an anvil inside that can separate and become a projectile when the primer isn't contained as was the case in the above joke. someone was lucky all they had to clean up was their shorts when that joke was over.
We had our chare of "almost too much" jokes too. We had an ongoing spiral of gags that found ever increasingly insane uses for card chips (rememeber keypunch machines?). On guy built a little, open top box out of a card with side rails. He went out and put it on top of the sun visor of someone's car. When we left from night shift we were all parked where the sun was right in our eyes. Down came the visor and the guy ended up with a lap full of chips. It went from there to include someone's lunch box being filled, and ended with someone's locker being filled with these little small card chips.
One winter everyone in the machine room took turns wandering out to the parking lot (smoke breaks?) with styrofoam cups of water. When the boss came out in the morning to leave, his windshield was covered in about 2" of layered sheet ice; sort of like damascus but with ice. He couldn't chip it off because it was too hard. He had to wait while his car warmed up and then the ice eventually could be lifted off in a single piece (maybe an hour).
We had our chare of "almost too much" jokes too. We had an ongoing spiral of gags that found ever increasingly insane uses for card chips (rememeber keypunch machines?). On guy built a little, open top box out of a card with side rails. He went out and put it on top of the sun visor of someone's car. When we left from night shift we were all parked where the sun was right in our eyes. Down came the visor and the guy ended up with a lap full of chips. It went from there to include someone's lunch box being filled, and ended with someone's locker being filled with these little small card chips.
One winter everyone in the machine room took turns wandering out to the parking lot (smoke breaks?) with styrofoam cups of water. When the boss came out in the morning to leave, his windshield was covered in about 2" of layered sheet ice; sort of like damascus but with ice. He couldn't chip it off because it was too hard. He had to wait while his car warmed up and then the ice eventually could be lifted off in a single piece (maybe an hour).
Last edited by a moderator:
ionbeam
2 FUN
Which is why the cartridges of choice were rim-fire .22s and not a primer ignited cartridge even though there were several tempting .38 cal cartridges laying about. We passed on using the biggest bang for safety. The .22 cartridges were located with the cartridges 'captured' so that action, reaction wouldn't bounce brass around the business. We were also careful that the expelled charge was contained and redirected away from people. Blanks can seriously hurt people and are not to be used trivially.
Thank you for pointing out the safety hazards.
seems you were more on the ball about it than the jokers i've always worked with would have been.
timk
timk
I went to a ride in a few years back, and I caught one of my friends using a yellow paint stick to put fake balance marks on a few of his friends tires, next day inquiring why they ignored them, and if they had hi speed issues.
wfooshee
O, Woe is me!!
ionbeam
2 FUN
I have been involved with firearms from my earliest memories. In the early '60s one of my friends had a large permanent black spot on his cheek where his brother shot him with a starter's pistol. Some burnt powder was driven under the skin and left him with a tattoo. While the blank prank was frivolous, it wasn't careless.
Powerman
Well-known member
I was a tech in the Air force, one day I was working on a test set with four voltmeters going. I picked up a set of leads that had 115v 400hz banana plugged into it and put it into the 0 volt circuit. A nice smoke cloud poured out of some resistors and cooked a circuit card.
Next week I saw smoke again and was slamming off circuit breakers as fast as I could. My co-workers had run plastic tubing behind the bench and across the room, they were blowing smoke into my equipment.
This initiated the super glue war. One guy had to have his pants cut with a razor blade to free his *** from the workbench.
Makes you wonder why they started to send solvent with the glue from supply.
Next week I saw smoke again and was slamming off circuit breakers as fast as I could. My co-workers had run plastic tubing behind the bench and across the room, they were blowing smoke into my equipment.
This initiated the super glue war. One guy had to have his pants cut with a razor blade to free his *** from the workbench.
Makes you wonder why they started to send solvent with the glue from supply.
LagerHead
Well-known member
Ugh, I hated ArcNet. What the heck do you have to be coming from that ArcNet is the upgrade?
nothing (no previous connectivity). ethernet was only thinnet at the time and not conducive to long haul runs and machines connected in series were problematic where i was working.Ugh, I hated ArcNet. What the heck do you have to be coming from that ArcNet is the upgrade?
ArcNet could run through industrial areas with heavy machinery (RF), overhead runs through "sky hoists", along runs nearly a mile run with just a powered repeater at the half way point... that kind of stuff.
Last edited by a moderator:
Patriot
Isabella is Lazarus
bump
FarWestFastEddie
Well-known member
I never knew what true happiness was until I got married. Now I know what it was.
FWFE
FWFE
