Rough Summer

[Rain Dancer]

In the beginning of the summer, I had posted that my brother in law rear ended my '04 FJR. Ripped the left bag off and sent the bike toppling over to the right. This after I spent all winter fixing his Honda that he hit me with.

In Sept, my wife and I took my old '97 Concours out to Alberta. On the way Home (Sept 13th, a Friday!) a van failed to yield at a stop and came out into our lane a few seconds before we T-boned him at 50-55mph. We are still mending from that one..at least the FJR I rode home! Concours is still in Minnisota. My winter project was to be restore an XS1100, cafe an XS650, and tinker on my wife's FZ6 and my FJR…now it appears to be fix the FJR, get the Concours…..and may even try to fix it. So 1100 and 650 have to wait. I am still dealing with a concussion, and not sure I will ride after this. I want to, been riding for 35 years, but never put a passenger in the hospital, and that is where I put my wife.

Anyone else ever deal with that? If so…how do you get past that when you have someone on the bike again?

On the other hand, my wife already moved the money from the house account to the checking so I can get parts for the FJR….no question why I married her!

She fully expects us to tide to Washington State next summer….no pressure there!

 

[Pterodactyl]

Take it one step at a time. Firstly, count your blessings; everyone alive and apparently with no life altering injuries; a fantastic wife; and, the assets to fall back upon to recover the damage. Recover and fix the bikes. Then think about the future of your riding. With the exception, perhaps, of your brother in-law, you really are a fortunate man in the end.

 

[GeorgiaRoller]

4yrs ago I was riding my bike out front & watched my wife riding her HD StreetBob hit a huge pothole depression in the pavement in my rear view mirror going 50-60mph and then watched in horror as her bike violently flipped end over end & tossed her off & into the ditch. I remember yelling out to myself "Noooooo!" and then I did a u-turn & rode back finding her laying still on her side in the ditch. Ambulance came, she had road rash on her arms because it was 95 degrees out and wasn't wearing a riding jacket. I had to help her scrub her bleeding arms in a shower at the hospital as she was crying in pain. Somehow, someway she didn't get a single broken bone. But personally I think road rash is much worse to deal with.

Didn't think I'd ever ride again after witnessing that ordeal.

The old saying "**** Happens" is 100% true for a reason. Sometimes **** does happen. The cold hard reality is that every time anyone of us goes out on our motorcycles there is always a possibility of getting run off the road, hitting gravel in a curve, getting pulled out on, having a deer run in front of us or 1000 other things that could happen.

Then only thing we can control is gearing up properly, riding defensively, staying focused at all times and doing our best to avoid bad situations. Even doing all of that might not be enough some days.

1-1/2yr after that crash she got another bike and has been riding ever since. She wanted to conquer her fear of what happened to her and we've ridden 30,000 mile since then with no issues. It is what it is. But when it happens to you or a loved one it's like a brick wall hitting you square in the face. You think crashing a motorcycle is only for "other people" but will never happen to you because you've ridden X amount of years with no issues. If/when it ever does happen you're no longer naive to it and realize its always a possibility.

So I know where you coming from. Don't feel guilty. Someone pulls out in front of you last second there's not a whole lot you can do. Some people decide to never ride again and I can understand why. But if riding is something you & her both enjoy I'd say let your wounds heal and give it another try when your both ready. I hope it works out for you. Sorry about your accident. **** happens.

 

[snikr]

Not a good summer for sure Rain Dancer. Glad you and your wife are OK. Hope your plans for fixing the FJR work out. I know I love mine but it's for sale now as I have a 2014 on order. Keep us posted on how the fix goes.

Tom

 

[Niehart]

Take it one step at a time. Firstly, count your blessings; everyone alive and apparently with no life altering injuries; a fantastic wife; and, the assets to fall back upon to recover the damage. Recover and fix the bikes. Then think about the future of your riding. With the exception, perhaps, of your brother in-law, you really are a fortunate man in the end.

+1

 

[shakin]

Sorry to hear of your troubles. Good to hear that you're both going to be ok.

Don't be hard on yourself. You made it out alive! Relax, recover, then make your decisions regarding how you wish to proceed.

The good new is you'll have plenty of time to do this as your life unfolds. Have patience and be gentle with yourself, enjoy your life!

shakin

 

[extrememarine]

I have been in your shoes before – it’s not an easy road, but it can be travelled once you decide what is right for you. Our bad day happened at EOM in 2008. I ran off the road in Virginia with the wife on the back seat. We were medivac’d out and I faintly remember the helo ride. The wife was in the hospital for 2 weeks, I was there a little over a month. Let me tell you, there is no greater pain than knowing the one you care most about in the world is in a hospital bed across the hall.

I ride today because of my wife, and because of support of the extended family I have here in the FJR community.

Like you, I married the right lady. Mid winter of 2009 I was standing in a Yamaha dealership in a clam shell back brace and walking with a cane staring at a new ’09 FJR. Annette wrote the check and had the bike delivered to the house. Then, she wouldn’t let me ride it until the Doc gave his clearance. Well, that came down to me sneaking out to the garage a month or so later and going around the block before she caught me. The Doc’s stance was that I should never ride again. While in the hospital, I accepted the fact that I would not ride again – the incident was too traumatic of an event for the entire family. Annette and I had many long conversations about it, with the end result being her wanting me to get back on. If I decided it was not for me, I would walk away on my terms.

Getting back on solo was a huge hurdle for me. Regaining one’s confidence after a bad day is not easy. You need to have a serious conversation with yourself and your wife – discuss the risks, the benefits, and decide together what’s right for both of you. I rode solo for a good while before letting Annette get back on. I wasn’t ready, and she respected that. That was another huge challenge for me – it took a very long time to get comfortable with having her back on the bike. One thing we did to get my confidence back up is to spend some time on a marked MSF course running the exercises. I used to be a MSF Ridercoach, so I knew the course layout. That allowed me to regain the confidence in being able to maneuver the bike 2 up at slower speeds. I was less worried about traffic as the range is isolated and no traffic. I’d suggest you take a rider training course of some sort, and if you can find one that will let you run 2-up, even better.

Everyone is different – we all handle stress differently and only you can determine if you’ve reached the point of riding 2 up again. Hopefully the discussion here will help get you to that answer – there is a wealth of knowledge and experiences here that can offer guidance – in the end, it will come down to going with what you feel is right for you.

Best of luck !!

Wayne

 

[lonerider]

On the other hand, my wife already moved the money from the house account to the checking so I can get parts for the FJR….no question why I married her!

She fully expects us to tide to Washington State next summer….no pressure there!

Damn, you're one lucky guy; she's definitely a keeper.

 

[Surly]

On the other hand, my wife already moved the money from the house account to the checking so I can get parts for the FJR….no question why I married her!

She fully expects us to tide to Washington State next summer….no pressure there!

Damn, you're one lucky guy; she's definitely a keeper.

Count your blessings. Stay well and keep positive.

Best regards

Surly(Steve)

 

[NMRoadRunner]

It's pretty simple "Time heals all wounds" See how you feel after the holidays, I'm sure, if you love riding, you'll overcome this. Maybe not, mortality becomes a very real thing the older you get. At least it is for me, I re-think things sometimes, but end up going ahead with my plans. I'm not getting any younger either and theres alot to do still. Can't quit now!

 

[Rain Dancer]

Thank you all for your well wishes, and your support and advice. Sorry to hear that so many of you have had to deal with this also, but very happy you are all still around to tell the tale.