beemerdons
Certifiable Old Fart
> ***** SIGHTING
>
>
>
> I handed the teller @ my bank a withdrawal slip for $400.00
> I said "May I have large bills, please"
>
> She looked at me and said "I'm sorry sir, all the bills are the same
size."
> When I got up off the floor I explained it to her....
>
>
>
>
> ***** SIGHTING
> When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up
our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service
department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver side
door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door
handle and discovered that it was unlocked. 'Hey,' I announced to the
technician, 'it's open!' His reply: 'I know. I already got that side.'
>
> This was at the Ford dealership in Canton, MS
>
> ***** SIGHTING
> We had to have the garage door repaired.
> The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did
not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener.
> I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears
made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower.
> He shook his head and said, 'Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower.' I
responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4.
> He said, 'NO, it's not..' Four is larger than two.'
>
> We haven't used Sears repair since.
>
>
> ***** SIGHTING
> My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and
I gave the clerk a $5 bill.
> Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter.
> She said, 'you gave me too much money.' I said, 'Yes I know, but
this way you can just give me a dollar bill back.
> She sighed and went to get the manager, who asked me to repeat my
request.
> I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said 'We're sorry
but we could not do that kind of thing.'
> The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in change.
>
> Do not confuse the clerks at McD's.
>
>
>
> ***** SIGHTING
> I live in a semi rural area.
> We recently had a new neighbor call the local township
administrative office
> To request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road.
> The reason: 'Too many deer are being hit by cars out here!
> I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing
anymore.'
>
> From Kingman , KS
>
>
>
>
>
> ***** SIGHTING IN FOOD SERVICE
> My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco.
> She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.'
> He said he was sorry, but they only had iceburg lettuce.
> -- From Kansas City
>
>
>
>
>
> ***** SIGHTING
> I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport
employee asked,
> 'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?'
> To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I
know?'
> He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.'
>
> Happened in Birmingham , Ala.
>
>
>
>
> ***** SIGHTING
> The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the
street.
> I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine.
She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for.
> I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red.
> Appalled, she responded, 'What on earth are blind people doing
driving?!'
>
> She was a probation officer in Wichita , KS
>
> ***** SIGHTING
> At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker who was leaving
the company due to 'downsizing,'
> Our manager commented cheerfully, 'This is fun. We should do this
more often.'
> Not another word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with
that deer-in-the-headlights stare.
>
> This was a lunch at Texas Instruments.
>
>
> ***** SIGHTING
> I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into
itself
> And for the sake of her life, couldn't understand why her system
would not turn on.
>
> A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriffs office, no less.
>
> ***** SIGHTING
> How would you pronounce this child's name?
> "Le-a"
> Leah?? NO
> Lee - A?? NOPE
> Lay - a?? NO
> Lei?? Guess Again.
> This child attends a school in Kansas City, Mo.
> Her mother is irate because everyone is getting her name wrong.
> It's pronounced "Ledasha".
> When the Mother was asked about the pronunciation of the name, she
said, "the dash don't be silent."
>
> SO, if you see something come across your desk like this please
remember to pronounce the dash.
> If dey axe you why, tell dem de dash don't be silent.
>
> STAY ALERT!
>
> They walk among us......
>
>
>
> I handed the teller @ my bank a withdrawal slip for $400.00
> I said "May I have large bills, please"
>
> She looked at me and said "I'm sorry sir, all the bills are the same
size."
> When I got up off the floor I explained it to her....
>
>
>
>
> ***** SIGHTING
> When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up
our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service
department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver side
door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door
handle and discovered that it was unlocked. 'Hey,' I announced to the
technician, 'it's open!' His reply: 'I know. I already got that side.'
>
> This was at the Ford dealership in Canton, MS
>
> ***** SIGHTING
> We had to have the garage door repaired.
> The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did
not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener.
> I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears
made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower.
> He shook his head and said, 'Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower.' I
responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4.
> He said, 'NO, it's not..' Four is larger than two.'
>
> We haven't used Sears repair since.
>
>
> ***** SIGHTING
> My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and
I gave the clerk a $5 bill.
> Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter.
> She said, 'you gave me too much money.' I said, 'Yes I know, but
this way you can just give me a dollar bill back.
> She sighed and went to get the manager, who asked me to repeat my
request.
> I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said 'We're sorry
but we could not do that kind of thing.'
> The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in change.
>
> Do not confuse the clerks at McD's.
>
>
>
> ***** SIGHTING
> I live in a semi rural area.
> We recently had a new neighbor call the local township
administrative office
> To request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road.
> The reason: 'Too many deer are being hit by cars out here!
> I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing
anymore.'
>
> From Kingman , KS
>
>
>
>
>
> ***** SIGHTING IN FOOD SERVICE
> My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco.
> She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.'
> He said he was sorry, but they only had iceburg lettuce.
> -- From Kansas City
>
>
>
>
>
> ***** SIGHTING
> I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport
employee asked,
> 'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?'
> To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I
know?'
> He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.'
>
> Happened in Birmingham , Ala.
>
>
>
>
> ***** SIGHTING
> The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the
street.
> I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine.
She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for.
> I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red.
> Appalled, she responded, 'What on earth are blind people doing
driving?!'
>
> She was a probation officer in Wichita , KS
>
> ***** SIGHTING
> At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker who was leaving
the company due to 'downsizing,'
> Our manager commented cheerfully, 'This is fun. We should do this
more often.'
> Not another word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with
that deer-in-the-headlights stare.
>
> This was a lunch at Texas Instruments.
>
>
> ***** SIGHTING
> I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into
itself
> And for the sake of her life, couldn't understand why her system
would not turn on.
>
> A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriffs office, no less.
>
> ***** SIGHTING
> How would you pronounce this child's name?
> "Le-a"
> Leah?? NO
> Lee - A?? NOPE
> Lay - a?? NO
> Lei?? Guess Again.
> This child attends a school in Kansas City, Mo.
> Her mother is irate because everyone is getting her name wrong.
> It's pronounced "Ledasha".
> When the Mother was asked about the pronunciation of the name, she
said, "the dash don't be silent."
>
> SO, if you see something come across your desk like this please
remember to pronounce the dash.
> If dey axe you why, tell dem de dash don't be silent.
>
> STAY ALERT!
>
> They walk among us......
