Khunajawdge
Toto El Mundo!
Yes, a forwarded message <_<
-------Original Message-------
Just in case you were thinking of leaving paradise for one of these places.
>
> Here is some more history-geography, just in case you have a need to
> know more!
> You can retire to Phoenix , Arizona where...
> 1. You are willing to park 3 blocks away because you found shade.
> 2. You've experienced condensation on your *** from the hot water in
> the toilet bowl.
> 3. You can drive for 4 hours in one direction and never leave town.
> 4. You have over 100 recipes for Mexican food.
> 5. You know that "dry heat" is comparable to what hits you in the
> face when you open your oven door.
> 6. The 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING ME??!!
>
> OR
>
> You can retire to California where...
> 1. You make over $250,000 and you still can't afford to buy a house.
> 2. The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway.
> 3. You know how to eat an artichoke.
> 4. You drive your rented Mercedes to your neighborhood block party.
> 5. When someone asks you how far something is, you tell them how
> long it will take to get there rather than how many miles away it is.
> 6. The 4 seasons are: Fire, Flood, Mud, and Drought.
>
> OR
>
> You can retire to New York City where...
> 1. You say "the city" and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan ..
> 2. You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from
> Columbus Circle to Battery Park, but can't find Wisconsin on a map.
> 3. You think Central Park is "nature."
> 4. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own
> language makes you multi-lingual.
> 5. You've worn out a car horn. (Ed. Note if you have a car).
> 6. You think eye contact is an act of aggression.
>
> OR
>
> You can retire to Minnesota where...
> 1. You only have four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco .
> 2. Halloween costumes fit over parkas.
> 3. You have more than one recipe for casserole.
> 4. Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons.
> 5. The four seasons are: winter, still winter, almost winter, and
> construction.
>
> OR
>
> You can retire to the Deep South where...
> 1. You can rent a movie and buy bait in the same store.
> 2. "Y'all" is singular and "all y'all" is plural.
> 3. "He needed killin" is a valid defense.
> 4. Everyone has 2 first names: Billy Bob, Jimmy Bob, Mary Ellen,
> Betty Jean, Mary Beth, etc.
> 5. Everything is either "in yonder," "over yonder" or "out yonder."
> It's important to know the difference, too.
>
> OR
>
> You can retire to Colorado where...
> 1. You carry your $3,000 mountain bike atop your $500 car.
> 2. You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way home and so
> he stops at the day care center.
> 3. A pass does not involve a football or dating.
> 4. The top of your head is bald, but you still have a pony tail.
>
> OR
>
> You can retire to the Midwest where...
> 1. You've never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name.
> 2. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor.
> 3. You have had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" on the same day.
> 4. You end sentences with a preposition: "Where's my coat at?"
> 5. When asked how your trip was to any exotic place, you say, "It
> was different!"
>
> OR
>
> FINALLY You can retire to Florida where.
> 1. You eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon.
> 2.. All purchases include a coupon of some kind -- even houses and cars.
> 3. Everyone can recommend an excellent dermatologist.
> 4. Road construction never ends anywhere in the state.
> 5. Cars in front of you often appear to be driven by headless people.
...and there you are, wherever you go?
-------Original Message-------
Just in case you were thinking of leaving paradise for one of these places.
>
> Here is some more history-geography, just in case you have a need to
> know more!
> You can retire to Phoenix , Arizona where...
> 1. You are willing to park 3 blocks away because you found shade.
> 2. You've experienced condensation on your *** from the hot water in
> the toilet bowl.
> 3. You can drive for 4 hours in one direction and never leave town.
> 4. You have over 100 recipes for Mexican food.
> 5. You know that "dry heat" is comparable to what hits you in the
> face when you open your oven door.
> 6. The 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING ME??!!
>
> OR
>
> You can retire to California where...
> 1. You make over $250,000 and you still can't afford to buy a house.
> 2. The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway.
> 3. You know how to eat an artichoke.
> 4. You drive your rented Mercedes to your neighborhood block party.
> 5. When someone asks you how far something is, you tell them how
> long it will take to get there rather than how many miles away it is.
> 6. The 4 seasons are: Fire, Flood, Mud, and Drought.
>
> OR
>
> You can retire to New York City where...
> 1. You say "the city" and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan ..
> 2. You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from
> Columbus Circle to Battery Park, but can't find Wisconsin on a map.
> 3. You think Central Park is "nature."
> 4. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own
> language makes you multi-lingual.
> 5. You've worn out a car horn. (Ed. Note if you have a car).
> 6. You think eye contact is an act of aggression.
>
> OR
>
> You can retire to Minnesota where...
> 1. You only have four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco .
> 2. Halloween costumes fit over parkas.
> 3. You have more than one recipe for casserole.
> 4. Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons.
> 5. The four seasons are: winter, still winter, almost winter, and
> construction.
>
> OR
>
> You can retire to the Deep South where...
> 1. You can rent a movie and buy bait in the same store.
> 2. "Y'all" is singular and "all y'all" is plural.
> 3. "He needed killin" is a valid defense.
> 4. Everyone has 2 first names: Billy Bob, Jimmy Bob, Mary Ellen,
> Betty Jean, Mary Beth, etc.
> 5. Everything is either "in yonder," "over yonder" or "out yonder."
> It's important to know the difference, too.
>
> OR
>
> You can retire to Colorado where...
> 1. You carry your $3,000 mountain bike atop your $500 car.
> 2. You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way home and so
> he stops at the day care center.
> 3. A pass does not involve a football or dating.
> 4. The top of your head is bald, but you still have a pony tail.
>
> OR
>
> You can retire to the Midwest where...
> 1. You've never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name.
> 2. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor.
> 3. You have had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" on the same day.
> 4. You end sentences with a preposition: "Where's my coat at?"
> 5. When asked how your trip was to any exotic place, you say, "It
> was different!"
>
> OR
>
> FINALLY You can retire to Florida where.
> 1. You eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon.
> 2.. All purchases include a coupon of some kind -- even houses and cars.
> 3. Everyone can recommend an excellent dermatologist.
> 4. Road construction never ends anywhere in the state.
> 5. Cars in front of you often appear to be driven by headless people.
...and there you are, wherever you go?
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