The Ant And The Grasshopper

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Howardrg

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Location
Port Elizabeth - South Africa
The ant and the grasshopper -

An ant and a grasshopper lived in the same field. During the summer the ant

works all day and night bringing in supplies for the winter, and he prepares

his home to keep him warm during the cold months ahead.

Meanwhile, the grasshopper hops and sings, eats all the grass he wants and

procreates. Come winter, it gets bitterly cold and the ant is well-fed and

warm in his house, but the grasshopper has not prepared for winter,so he

dies, leaving a whole horde of little grasshoppers without food and shelter.

The moral of the story is of course, that one should work hard to ensure

that you can take care of yourself.

However, the updated version has a sequel:

The starving offspring of the grasshopper demanded to know why the ant

should be allowed to be warm and well-fed, while next door they are living

in terrible conditions without food and proper clothing. A TV crew shows up

and broadcasts footage of the poor grasshoppers, contrasting this with

footage of the ant, smug in his comfortable home with a pantry full of food.

The public is stunned. The print media is inundated with bitter,

recriminatory letters. Thousands demonstrate in the streets of the capital.

How can it be, in this beautiful field, that the poor grasshoppers are

allowed to suffer so, while the ant lives in the lap of luxury?

In the blink of an eye, the African Grasshopper's Union is formed. They

charge the ant with "species bias" and claim that grasshoppers are the

victims of 30 million years of green oppression. They stage a protest in

front of the ant's house and trash the street. When interviewed by the TV

crews, they state that if their demands are not met, they will be forced

into a life of crime. Just for practice, they loot the TV crew's luggage and

hijack the van, smash street lights and vandalise the ant's home.

The Take and Redistribute Commission justifies their behaviour by saying

that this is the legacy of the ant's discrimination and oppression of the

grasshoppers. The demand that the ant apologises to the grasshoppers for

what he has done, and that he makes amends for all the other ants in history

who have done the same thing to the grasshoppers.

People Against Grasshopper Abuse and Distress state that they are starting a

holy war against ants. Leading politicians appear on the eight o'clock news

and say that they will do everything they can for the grasshoppers who have

been denied the prosperity they deserve by those who have benefited unfairly

during the summer.

The government drafts the Economic Equity for Greens and Disadvantaged Act,

retroactive to the beginning of the summer. The ant is fined for failing to

employ a proportionate number of green insects, and having nothing left to

pay back his taxes, his home is confiscated by the government for

redistribution. The grasshoppers vandalise the house, sell all the

furnishings, and destroy the previously productive vegetable beds.

The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing off the last of the ant's

food while the government house he's in (which just happens to be the ant's

old house) crumbles around him because he is too lazy and incompetent to

maintain it. Showing on the TV (which he and a couple of friends stole from

another ant), the Minister of Expropriation is standing before a group of

wildly singing and dancing grasshoppers, announcing a new era of "equality"

has dawned on the field.

The ant, meanwhile, is not allowed to work because he has historically

benefited from the field. In his place, ten grasshoppers only work two hours

a day and steal half of what little they actually harvest. When winter comes

again and not enough food has been harvested, they strike and demand a 400%

increase in wages, so that they can buy more food, which now has to be

imported, because the grasshoppers were not productive enough to produce

enough food.

The ant packs his things and emigrates to another field, where he starts a

highly successful food company and becomes a millionaire by selling food to

the country where he came from.

Yet another sequel develops. The world at large, although aware that the

destitution of the grasshoppers is self-created, nevertheless sympathises

with their hardships and distress. Nations galore support the intent of the

World Food Programme to ensure the survival of the emaciated

grasshoppers.

They wish for no recompense from the government of the grasshoppers,but

they do require that the food they will donate will be distributed to all in

need, irrespective of political persuasion, and without corrupt enrichment

of any who will carry out the distribution. The grasshoppers'government is

appalled. How dare others dictate to them? What right do intending donors

have to place conditions upon their caring largesse? That is abuse of the

nation's independence! That cannot be tolerated!

If that be so, let the donations be rejected, even if many grasshoppers will

die, and misery will be the lot of almost all! And so, the nation of

grasshoppers become evermore emaciated, decimated and debilitated,whilst

their government steadfastly denies culpability, attributing all blame to

the ants and to the world at large.

 
Priceless. :clap: I would say something but I have banned myself from political comments. :D

Marc

 
A funny story. It shows that good humor has to have an element of fact. :)

The sad part of the stoies is that tribism may yet be the undoing of mankind. :alien:

 
The sad part of the stoies is that tribism may yet be the undoing of mankind.
True perhaps of African states, but religion will get the rest of the world (well, maybe not China. They're smart enough to lay back and wait for us to eff ourselves to pieces and then take over...).

 
Lucky for the grasshoppers they can multiply like sonsabitches, otherwise they'd be extinct. :D

 
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