The Long Way Home

[Old Michael]

This has GOT to be the coolest town EVER!If I were a betting man, I’d say that odot lives here.

Luckily, I know better, but maybe this will be where odot lives when he retires.

I just had to laugh.

.

Dude! Er, I mean, Geek!

I graduated from high school in that town! I shit you not! ( Long story.)

1973. The Warhawks. Bourbon, MO. About 70 miles west of St. Louis!

I almost crapped when I saw your photo! Whodathunk?

And we played Cuba in basketball. Hilarious.

Loving this whole report!

 

[BikerGeek99]

We have Indiana to get through, my first two-up peg scrape on a public road, and a moment of melancholy to keep it all real.

Waiting with great anticipation... gotta find the popcorn...

Thanks, Tyler. Working on it...

Dude! Er, I mean, Geek! I graduated from high school in that town! I shit you not! ( Long story.)

1973. The Warhawks. Bourbon, MO. About 70 miles west of St. Louis!

I almost crapped when I saw your photo! Whodathunk?

And we played Cuba in basketball. Hilarious.

Loving this whole report!

Thanks, OM. That's cool as hell that that's you're familiar with that place! We both laughed when we say that water tower, and after having just experienced odot for a coupla days...

The Bourbon Warhawks. Hmm... Interesting....

Working on the next installment now. More to come!

 

[BikerGeek99]

After our tasty meal, and a quick jaunt through a downpour to a liquor store after dinner for some in-room beverages, we retired for the evening and slept a sound traveler’s sleep.

This is the first trip I’ve taken with No Plan. It’s been a different experience for me. It seems to me that the daily grind, working for The Man in Corporate America, kinda wants to suck that out of you.

You are supposed to have A Plan for Your Career.

A Plan for Your Life.

A Plan for This.

A Plan for That.

A Plan for Your Vacation becomes second nature, at least that’s how it has worked for me.

It’s been an enlightening experience to Have No Plan. To celebrate Having No Plan. Call me weird, but for this left-brained geek, it’s like trying to write with my left hand.

Yeah, I can do it, kind of, but man does it feel . . . weird . . . and I can feel my mind working in ways it normally doesn’t.

Cool.

This is my 8th day on the road. Mrs. BikerGeek has been along for 5 of them. Her dad had Major Surgery which delayed her departure; I’m very happy to report that he is doing great! It’s a Thursday and we don’t have to be home until tomorrow.

We’re in Chicago. Our home is in Columbus, OH. How to get there from here. Hmm…

Well, I’ve made the direct drive from Chicago to Columbus and it freakin’ sucks. Screw that.

After perusing some maps (I woulda just thrown a dart at the screen of the laptop but <1> I didn’t have any darts with me and <b> the smoke might have gotten out of the laptop after getting hit with a dart; that would be bad) I semi-randomly chose southern Indiana as the area to go visit. I heard from some Jaegermeister-devouring-FJR-rider that there are some good roads there…

And so we began our trip home. Coulda done it in 7 or 8 hours. Instead we took two days.

Off to southern Indiana!

To get from Chicago to southern Indiana, we first had to go through northern Illinois. And northern Indiana.

Eek.

We did start off by seeing the Round Barn.

A barn pic for you barn pic folks.

And there was a small town church.

I deliberately planned a route of all back roads, no interstates.

We saw a lot of this.

Every now and then, a little store along the road. I think I liked the Route 66-themed places better. They had more character.

It’s not that there’s a lull in pictures. It’s the fact that there’s a lull in stuff to take pictures of!

At one point Mrs. BikerGeek said, “Didn’t we already SEE this a couple of times already??”

Repetitive pictures of flat-lands and farms start all looking alike after a while.

Finally – what’s that up there? HEY! Get the camera ready! There’s something to take pictures of!

You really, REALLY know you’re in the flat lands when you see a herd of these things.

There were a CRAP load of these things in the farm.

It reminded me of a conversation I participated in / overheard at SFO about the speed of the blades. Yeah, they don’t look like they’re going very fast, but the tips of the blades are pushing supersonic.

If you’ve ever seen the blades of one of these things being hauled on a flatbed on the highway, you know how deceptively large they are.

We did roll through a few small towns. I wonder if they allow dancing here?

Perhaps the rebellious youths play chicken on their farm tractors.

Let me say that rolled for a while and saw … um … come on vocabulary, don’t fail me now… NOTHING!! No towns, no interesting things to photograph … I was kind of afraid Mrs. BikerGeek would fall asleep before I did. DANG it was boring for a while.

Eventually we were looking for something, ANYthing, and we were a bit hungry for lunch and could also use facilities.

What the heck do we come across in the Middle Of Nowhere, Indiana (actually a bit NW of Indianapolis), but this. A firggin DQ.

Mrs. BikerGeek called this “An oasis in the middle of nowhere.” No kidding!

Now I don’t want to crack on people who work at DQ. Anything but. However…

The kid running the register… Well, I don’t think he was too bright.

We placed our orders. We are standing there in full riding gear (sans helmets).

He asks, “Is that for here or to go?”

What?! REALLY??

25 smart-ass lines run through my head.

What do I say?

“For here.” But it was in a tone that added “dumbass” to the end.

Wow. Master Of The Obvious he certainly ain’t. Not that I’m gonna put Mensa to shame or anything, but wow… It takes effort to be that oblivious.

We got our food anyway, chowed down, and got back on the road.

Wabbit twacks!

No, try railroad tracks.

I think I’ve been on the road too long.

As we headed farther south, the scenery and the roads did – FINALLY – begin to provide something to look at.

I can say we have seen lots of small-town-America during this trip.

Hmm…

I’m liking this over the windmill farms from earlier today.

Some road with some actual turns here and there.

Eventually we made it to Bloomington, IN. As a Columbus native, let me say that Bloomington, home of Indiana University, is a neat, scenic town. I liked it. What I didn’t like was the traffic. We’d tried to get a room in Bloomington, but the hotels on our list were all sold out. We think it was graduation weekend.

We hopped off at a gas station by a Harley dealer to stretch for a bit and drink some water.

I’d performed some deep consultation with Dr. Zumo and had a route to take us to our home for the evening in Columbus, IN. It took us east on Route 46 out of Bloomington.

Ahhh…. After too-many-hundreds of miles of nothing, it was so nice to see hills again!

After riding for days in rain and / or very threatening skies, it was so relaxing to actually see blue sky.

To repeat myself – this beats the hell outta windmill farms.

Route 46, between Bloomington, IN, and Columbus, IN, is a beautiful ride. The traffic sucked (long lines of traffic stuck behind some ding-dong going 40 MpH), but the scenery was sooooo nice.

While in my deep consultation with Dr. Zumo, I had spotted a road that looked to be quite entertaining on a FJR.

Just past here Nashville, IN….

Is Route 135. We took it southbound to Freetown, and turned around.

Oh, yeah.

People here have covered bridges as part of their driveways!

Fun road, except when you’re stuck behind a Volkswagen.

Twisty road. WOO-HOO!!

Purty sweeper.

I’m not running off the road. Honest I’m not!

Stinkin’ cagers ruining all the fun. Zzzz…..

Ahh… Hills are so nice to see after hours of nothing.

If we would have had more time, I would have liked to have stopped here. In retrospect, we probably should have anyway. We had time. Dunno what’s there, but after stopping at that Standard Oil station a day or so ago… Oh, well. We’ll be back. I can find it again.

After maybe one or two strategic two-lane passes, we had the road to ourselves and I let Veejer take the bit and stretch her legs a bit.

Not stupid fast, just spirited.

I am not an aggressive rider. I don’t go crazy fast on the straights, I don’t have a mission to scrape every part that’s scrapeable.

Do I like to have fun? Yes. Riding at a spirited pace is fun for me.

Somewhere along here, It Happened.

Coming up on a 90-degree right-hander.

Perfect visibility – no oncoming traffic for at least 1 minute; the road is perfectly devoid of gravel or anything else.

I go in to the corner hot, especially for me.

Pick my turning point, countersteer and look through the corner, and…

!!!SCRRRRRAPE!!!!

WOO-HOO!!

Finally scraped a peg. I know, no biggie for some of you guys, but that tells me exactly how hard I can push this 2-up, fully-loaded pig of a FJR into a corner.

I cheered!

Mrs. BikerGeek: “What just happened?”

BG: “Scraped a peg. WOO-HOO!”

Mrs. BG: “Oh, wow. I thought we were gonna wreck.”

I scared her.

Oops.

I kinda laughed it off, but I don’t ever want her to be scared to ride with me.

Now that I know where that limit is, I won’t be trying to do that again. At least without warning her.

Eventually we made it to Freetown, turned around and headed back to Route 46, and on into Columbus, IN.

It was nice to escorted by these damn hippies after doom, gloom and clouds.

We made it to our home for the evening.

We went to the store up the road for some nightly refreshments before dinner and took a picture to celebrate our last night on the road of our journey.

Mrs. BikerGeek asked the front desk clerk at the hotel about places to have dinner. This one came up, and it’s walking distance. Hence, the pre-dinner libations.

It’s a Greek place run by authentic Greeks. Our waiter’s mannerisms were funny as hell to us. Nice guy, good service, but funny as hell.

Dessert food porn!

All this junk was kinda piled up on the table so decided to try to make it into some kind of meaningful picture. We’ve got the Zumo who has led me astray in many states, my new CyclePort gloves that are comfortable as hell (see epilogue for gear review for the trip), Rogue Dead Guy Ale (one of my favorite beers!), my Route 66 cooler I got at the World’s Largest Rocking Chair, my helmet, and my FJR hat. And, ironically enough, the tourist pamphlet for Columbus.

The final chapter awaits its birth, coming soon…

 

[BikerGeek99]

The Voyage Home.

I’ve been struggling with how to end this ride report. I mean really struggling.

It has been such an amazing journey, what kind of an ending would possibly do it justice?

Thanks to an experience we had on the way home, I’ve decided to end it with a dose of melancholy to keep it real.

One quick little background note: At the time of this grand voyage, Mrs. BikerGeek was Mrs. BikerGeek-To-Be. We were engaged, and we are now married. I may bounce back and forth a little bit, so I wanted to make you aware of this as I construct this final piece of our journey to share.

The final leg on our journey was decent enough. We headed out of Columbus, IN, and took some back roads to mosey up to I-70 to slab it home. The weather cooperated – not too cold, not too warm, looked like it could rain at any time but it didn’t.

We rode through some small towns. At one point, in some small town, some older fella came ripping out onto the road in front of us on a Sportster. I don’t know if he was already drunk or what, but in the space of 100 yards I thought he was going to wreck about 5 times. At least he was dressed appropriately – baseball cap, sneakers, jeans and a tee-shirt. That guy scared the crap outta me. We got away from him as quickly as possible.

Once we were on I-70, we weren’t more that a couple of hours from home.

Ever since we met, Mrs. BikerGeek and I had talked about visiting an old friend of hers. Her old friend currently resides out in the extreme west portion of Ohio, just off of I-70.

We talked it over and decided to stop in for a visit.

Mrs. BikerGeek hadn’t visited in several years. Eventually we caught up with her.

I parked the bike, and we dismounted. Even though there were groundskeepers mowing nearby, it was as if there was no one around for miles, or the lawnmowers were somehow muted.

The next several moments belonged to Mrs. BikerGeek. I let her take her time and have her space.

She approached and said, “Hi, Julie!” trying to sound chipper and upbeat, “This is Andy. I’ve told you about him. We’re getting married next weekend.”

In the silence of the next couple of heartbeats... Well, I’m having difficulty describing it. I had heard about Julie since we had met, and now seeing her final resting spot…

Has someone ever told you about an old friend of theirs, told you so much about them that you feel like you know that old friend? I mean really know them? And even though that old friend doesn’t live close by, you feel that doesn’t matter? And you can’t wait to meet them? Seeing Julie’s resting spot, it really hit me that I won’t be meeting her any time soon. We won’t be going out for beer and pizza when our schedules allow.

For me, being there with my bride-to-be, I heard a sound that about brought me to my knees.

She sobbed.

I stood next to her and put my arm around her, and tried to sound all manly, “Hiya, Julie! Damn nice to meet you.” I don’t think I sounded manly, but I’m pretty sure Julie appreciated the effort.

We stood there, tears in both of our eyes for a few minutes, soaking in the moment, appreciating the moment.

Mrs. BikerGeek cleared off some of the dandelions. And we chatted. Is this normal to chat with a hunk of granite? I don’t usually do it, but we did. We made sure Julie knew all about the plans for the wedding, and how much we wish she could be there.

But that’s not how it works sometimes.

Chatting with Julie’s hunk of granite was therapeutic. Because, for me, that’s as close as I’ll get to actually meeting her for, what I hope, to be a very long time.

The rest of the ride home was very insightful and melancholy for me. I was reminded of friends of my own who left this world too soon.

Vance – if it weren’t for V, I would not have ever considered buying my first motorcycle 17 years ago. Miss ya, ya long-haired hippy freak.

Steve – guys, THIS man could throw a party like none other. He was, um, ‘unique’ (if he woulda lived longer he would have graduated to eccentric, but that’s how things go sometimes) and one of the greatest guys I have ever met and had the honor of calling a true friend.

So here’s to you – Julie, Vance and Steve - our friends who are gone, but never, ever forgotten. And to everyone who reads this who has had, or will have similar experiences, sometime raise a toast.

Celebrate life, live today, love the ones you’re with.

One parting picture, because if Julie were still with us, she’d want a ride of the FJR. This is as close as we can get.

Ride safe,

BG

 

[BikerGeek99]

As a final note on this trip, I thought I would offer insights and thoughts on our gear and equipment, especially considering the varying conditions we experienced.

BTW – did anyone mention it rained at SFO? Eesh…

On the way to SFO, JustRoy and I rode 725 miles, with probably 600 of those miles in the rain, including a downpour through St. Louis.

Did I stay dry?

Boots: Sidi Tepor. My feet stayed 100% dry. No wetness at all. I am thoroughly impressed with these boots. They are worth the investment. Even riding on Saturday in Eureka Springs, 50-ish degrees and in a downpour, my feet stayed warm and dry. These are some damn comfortable boots. Mrs. BikerGeek recently upgraded to a pair of Sidi’s as well and really likes hers.

Socks: TechSox, purchased from Lee Parks. I bought these for longer road trips because they are advertised to be hotel-room-washable – wash ‘em in the sink, wring em dry, and they’ll be ready to go in the morning. I can vouch for this. Mrs. BikerGeek has ordered more of these so we don’t have to fiddle with washing cotton socks while on the road.

Gloves: Scorpion Recon. These are supposedly waterproof, complete with a Hipora membrane. Note I say supposedly. This was the gear breakdown on the trip. I wore these in the ride out. At one of our gas stops, JustRoy and I were chit-chatting and these gloves were sitting on the seat. I noticed a puddle coming out of the cuff of one of these gloves. What the?! The lining was so wet, I could turn the glove upside-down and water would drip out. Perhaps if I had put the cuff of the gloves INside my jacket? I dunno. My GripPuppies were holding so much water, though, I don’t know if any glove would have performed to expectations. By the time we got to Eureka Springs, my hands were like prunes.

Other gloves: CyclePort Boss AX. Damn these suckers are comfortable. We didn’t ride in the downpours wearing these, so I can’t offer an opinion on the waterproofness, but they also have a Hipora membrane. One big letdown with these: the soft and comfy inner liner on the left glove tore at the thumb, and these gloves were brand new! Now, to CyclePort’s credit, I contacted them and returned them. They already repaired them and returned them to me, so my hat is off to CyclePort’s customer service.

One note about gloves with this Hipora membrane. Anytime I wear either pair, my hands wind up with a certain off-smelling funk. I can only attribute it to that membrane. Not a show-stopper, but still… Anyone else notice this, or is it because I smoke too much crack?

Mrs. BikerGeek bought a pair of Joe Rocket gloves. I don’t know the style, but so far she really likes them.

Riding pants: AeroStitch AD-1. These are the real deal. Never, ever got wet or felt damp. It seems like a common failure for water-proof riding gear is in the crotch. I will vouch that my crotch did not get wet through hundreds of miles in the rain. These do get a bit warm, though, especially when off the bike in warm, sunny weather.

Mrs. BikerGeek has a pair of FirstGear textiles that she likes. They fit her better than any other pair we’ve been able to find (keep in mind that we have the Iron Pony’s super-mega-huge 100,000+ square foot store in our back yard, so we’ve looked at EVERYthing they have to offer). She gets cold easier than I do, so she keeps the cooler-weather liner in most of the time. All in all she likes these, but she is open to suggestions to riding pants that are actually cut for a lady.

Riding jacket: Fieldsheer Aqua Tour. This jacket kept me warm and dry. It seemed that by the time we got to Eureka Springs, a little dampness was just starting to seep in. And by a little, I mean to say that this may have just been my imagination. I never felt that dampness, real or imagined, again for the rest of the trip.

Mrs. BikerGeek’s jacket: TourMaster Transition II. Her opinion of this pretty much echoes her opinion of her riding pants.

Helmets: We both have HJC CL-Max helmets. These are a bit loud, but fit each of us well. I’m watching for the new Scorpion modular to come out. I’ll check it out at the Iron Pony at that time. For now, I can live with the CL-Max.

Unmentionables: LDComfort. You can NOT go wrong with these things. They are insanely comfortable. On the 725 mile trek out, I had the tights on under the AD-1’s, and the long-sleeve mock turtle neck under the jacket. They kept me warm and very comfortable. I am soooo impressed with these. Plus, if you follow their directions, you can wash these in the sink or tub in your hotel room, wring ‘em out, do the towel-dry thing, and they’ll be ready in the morning if not before.

Motosolutions Raincoat: If you’re not familiar with this stuff, it’s like RainX, but made for plastic. You apply it kind of like you apply wax, then wipe it off. I’d accidentally wiped it off the windshield and helmet visor – beware of cleaning your windshield or visor with a microfiber towel. I noticed a huge difference in the rain. I had brought some with me and re-applied in the parking lot at the SFO hotel. Several people asked me about it. I like this stuff.

Motosolutions Fogtech: This stuff is supposed to keep your windshield / inside of your visor from fogging up. The jury is out. My visor still fogged up, but I hadn’t re-applied it recently. One application lasts about 5 days.

Hella FF50’s: I was kind of worried about how water-proof my wiring would be. They performed flawlessly. FWIW, I bought a water-proof switch from West Marine instead of using the switch provided with the lights.

AudioVox Cruise Control: Worked like a champ on the way out. Then SFO’s rain killed it. Turns out it was the control pad. Thanks to the generosity of Wayne, I now have a new control pad installed. Ionbeam has offered to rehab my old control pad, so eventually I’ll have a replacement control pad free to a good home. Note I did not install the cruise control, so I cannot say how thoroughly the original control pad was waterproofed.

Vstream windshield: This thing is a damn sail – it’s HUGE, but I love it!

GPS: Garmin Zumo 550. All in all, it did just fine. One thing that had me really worried: at our last fuel stop on the way to SFO, the damn thing froze up! I mean locked up – it wouldn’t power down, wouldn’t respond to the touch screen… I was worried, and I didn’t know how to force it to reset. Thanks to Patriot (Mike from ‘Nawlins), he taught the geek a new trick. Thanks again, Mike! Aside from that episode, it did fine, sitting in rain, moving through rain… The biggest piece of advice I would offer is: know that you need to be very aware of where you put your waypoints when you create your routes. Dr. Zumo has no problem sending you in circles even when that makes so sense. Ain’t technology GREAT?!?!?

Comm system: Starcom Advance. I have no complaints with this unit. We listen to satellite radio and sometimes when we’re on the highway, wind noise will still trigger the vox, muting the music. Moderately annoying at times, but no big deal to us.

Satellite radio: Sirius Stiletto II. This is a nice, versatile little gadget. I installed a regular vehicle kit on the FJR: the cradle sits in the cell phone pouch in the tank bag, antenna is on the front-brake reservoir, power comes from an adapter utilizing the battery tender pigtail straight from the battery, and audio-out goes to the Starcom unit under the seat. Reception has never been an issue. Every now and then, the Stiletto gets “confused” and needs to have the power cycled. No big deal. It’s not waterproof, but I have devised a Highly Clever Waterproofing Mechanism that allowed it to survive the rain at SFO. OK, so it’s a Ziploc baggie, but hey! It works, so don’t be hatin’! I am considering splurging for the XM antenna and service to add to the Zumo for 2 reasons: 1. No worries about waterproofness; 2. The available XM weather service. If we keep doing these long road trips, I can definitely see that being worth the investment. But, we’ll see. The Stiletto was pricey enough that, for now, I can use my Old School Weather Forecasting Mechanism: my eyes.

After-market add-on air horn: It was on the bike when I got it. SFO’s rain killed it. I have no idea where to even start trying to diagnose this thing, so I’ll have to deal with only having the stock horn for now.

Camera: Olympus Stylus 1050SW. I’ve had Olympus point & shoot cameras before and liked ‘em. I got this one specifically for the bike because it’s shockproof and waterproof. Before Mrs. BikerGeek got to Eureka Springs, I had it mounted on a 6” Ram mount on the left handlebar. I like the fact that it’s easy to operate with a glove – turn it on by pushing down the flap thingy, take a pic by pressing the big button on top. What I don’t like: All in all I don’t think it takes very good pictures. My older Canon, and Mrs. BikerGeek’s older Sony both take better pics, IMHO. But, we’ll keep working on it. Maybe we need to tweek the settings. Oh – and keep in mind that the biggest reason why I have so many pictures on my ride reports taken while moving is because Mrs. BikerGeek keeps the camera on a lanyard around her neck while we ride. That’s why I call her the Pillion Paparazzi. Thankfully memory for digital cameras is a lot cheaper than it used to be.

Tires: Michelin PR2’s. I have no complaints. They performed flawlessly. We weren’t lollygagging just because it was raining, either. 80-ish on the highway in the rain and no problems. Now, I’m not an aggressive rider, but I do like to have fun. I swear I’ve felt them slip just a small bit here and there in turns, both front and rear. But I still like them.

Russell Day-Long seat: I bought this on a whim just before departing for SFO. I worked with the seller to expedite shipping it and received it the day before leaving for SFO. I am incredibly amazed at how comfortable this seat is. Our first jaunt on the slab heading to SFO was 180 miles without stopping. It didn’t feel like 180 miles. As I’ve said, we rode 725 miles that day and my rear end was as happy as it could be. My back and neck felt like we’d ridden 725 miles, but not my rear-end. Mrs. BikerGeek really likes this seat as well. And when the Mrs. is happy, everyone is happy. Consider this a 2-geek-double-thumbs-up for the Russell Day-Long.

That’s all I can think of off the top of my head. I hope it proves to be of some value to someone out there who is on the fence about any of the items I have mentioned. If you have any specific questions, feel free to ask. I’ll offer any insights I can!

Ride safe,

BG

 

[tstaff]

Great report Andy!

Looking forward to your next one. :good:

 

[FJR_Mikey]

I think I enjoyed this more than anything I've read on the forum. Thanks for a great ride report!

 

[BikerGeek99]

Dang - I'd kinda forgotten about this...

I think I enjoyed this more than anything I've read on the forum. Thanks for a great ride report!

Thanks! It was quite an enjoyable trip, despite the dang rain.

 

[SnowAviation]

Just read it all the way through while working on a friends laptop. Great way to pass the time while the anti-virus deletes the hundreds of adware and virus infected files....

Thanks BikerGeek for taking the time to post the photos and write up the trip.

 

[vabrzn]

Enjoyed it!

 

[beemerdons]

I think I enjoyed this more than anything I've read on the forum. Thanks for a great ride report!

+1, Gunny! Thanks for bumping this Ride Report out of the wayback machine Mike! It was great reading this two years ago and it was every bit as fun and interesting reading it again for a second time. The BikerGeek's always have a great time, wherever they go!

 

[Hudson]

Dude! Er, I mean, Geek!

I graduated from high school in that town! I shit you not! ( Long story.)

1973. The Warhawks. Bourbon, MO. About 70 miles west of St. Louis!

This fills in quite a few gaps about you, OM. At least it explains why you gulped down that cup of Eagle's Rare 17 in the parking lot at Eureka, like it was Kool Aid.