The Mystery Turd

[FJR Flyer]

This thing appeared on our back porch roof. The thing is about half a foot long.

So....what took a dump on our roof? If it was human, why the heck was he on our roof, and why take a dump there? If its an animal, what the heck is big enough to drop that loaf and still climb up on the roof?

We have a lot of woods around us, with raccoon, foxes, deer, etc.

Its a slow day and its raining....

 

[fhaze]

It's a Baby Ruth

"It's no big deal."

 

[Fastfar]

Anyone in your neighborhood missing any pets...that could be scat from a bobcat or other small predator...or your neighborhood is really pissed at ya and a weirdo to boot...

 

[rocketdoc]

Well, it could be a racoon, certainly agile and big enough. But racoons usually use a latrine. That's right, they have a spot, usually at the base of a tree, that the whole damn family uses.

Beware that Racoon feces can harbour a particularly nasty parasite that will eat up your kidneys if you get it. The eggs of the parasite are in large numbers and can survive for over five years.

.02

 

[FJR Flyer]

Well, it could be a racoon, certainly agile and big enough. But racoons usually use a latrine. That's right, they have a spot, usually at the base of a tree, that the whole damn family uses.Beware that Racoon feces can harbour a particularly nasty parasite that will eat up your kidneys if you get it. The eggs of the parasite are in large numbers and can survive for over five years.

.02

This just keeps gettin' better.

We used to have raccoons when we first moved here about ten years ago, but haven't seen them in a long time. Parasites, and always the possibility of rabies. Fun.

 

[Silent]

Yer neighbor have a dog? Looks like he flung it when he was cleanin his yard

 

[Fred W]

Clearly that is a human dookie. Probably came down from some airliner when they flushed the toilet in "over the ocean" mode. You on the flight path to the airport?

 

[mattster31]

HOLY CRAP!!!!!!!!!!!!! :dribble:

 

[Toecutter]

And what are you doing up on your roof in the rain, besides taking a dump and photographing it?

 

[Bustanut joker]

'Tain't no turd. That's odot sleeping :lol: Well possibly Howie....

:jester:

 

[ionbeam]

And what are you doing up on your roof in the rain, besides taking a dump and photographing it?

Gunny!

If that -- ahem -- item belongs to a wild animal it will likely have 'inclusions'. Almost all wild animals in your area will either be vegetarians or omnivores, both of which will have leafs, seeds and other organic bits throughout. Only domestic animals like dogs and semi-domestic animals like FJR owners will have byproducts that contain no discernible inclusions. I would suggest that the shape is wrong for vegetarians so that leaves omnivores. I would observe that the caliber, shape and size is not correct for even bears. No ****. I spent less than .001 seconds studying your picture so my impression may be wrong and I ain't gonna make a study of it. Now, it's your turn to get back on the roof and do an autopsy.

 

[Patriot]

wow, the depth and wealth of information passed <pun intended> through this forum is quite alimentary :dribble:

 

[Bustanut joker]

I'm with alan on this. Think I see a seed in there. :blink: or is it an eye???

:jester:

 

[Patriot]

Only domestic animals like dogs and semi-domestic animals like FJR owners will have byproducts that contain no discernible inclusions.

that's BS...I've personally seen Doberman Pincher turds and they have little strips of cloth in there...

<thank you George Carlin re: How much is that dog crap in the window>

 

[Tyler]

This thread is a bunch of crap.

 

[Bustanut joker]

This thread is a bunch of crap.

No ****! Whata load! :lol:

:jester:

 

[rushes]

They've got toilets on airplanes.

Where does it go?

:bad:

 

[FJRONAMISSION]

This post really stinks.............. do an autopsy!!! lets

get the BOTTOM of this.. I'm all backed up with anticipation....

B........ :stinker:

 

[DE OPPRESSO LIBER]

Upon closer examination, it would appear that it is definitely not of human origin. The shape is the clue. In **** sapiens the rectal sphincter is designed so that the turd is tapered at both ends. Prevents your ******* from slamming shut!