October, 2014
I've been married for 28 years. Looking all the way back, things have certainly changed a lot. However, the changes are incremental and on a day by day basis, one doesn't always see the forest for the trees.
My wife taught school for almost 22 years. I'm convinced she was born to do this. She has a knack for teaching children how to think for themselves. But like all matters of life, things change. Over the years, it became more prevalent. She learned quickly how to deal with the improperly prepared kid, the incompetent parent, the leaking roof, the lack of supplies (how many thousands of $$$$ did we spend on school supplies, I will never know), the clueless principle, etc.
In the end, none of that mattered - as long as she was in the classroom doing her thing, all was right in the world. However, about 5 or 7 years ago, the school system started changing the rules. Now, teachers were no longer teachers - they simply are indoctrinated into glorified babysitters where they just vomit the standardized test. The school board leaders lacked any resemblance of leadership.
The next year, they changed the rules again. And again. And again.
It wore her down a little each day. Over a few years, she tried changing things. A new grade level. A new school. A different Parish. Another principle. Eventually, she realized that the source of the problem wasn't just ONE particular thing, but in fact it was EVERYTHING. In November of 2014, after about 3 years of binge eating, drinking, anxiety medicines, and spending what seems like every non-working moment in a state of comatose, she finally decided to give it up.
I did what little I could - mostly try to listen and be supportive. Over the following few weeks, a transformation miraculously appeared before my very eyes. Daily greetings were started with smiles and tenderness. Conversations continued past the formalities. Interest in things other than sleeping and eating junk food surfaced. We were dating again. Not the bullshit dates - drive to the restaurant, choke down the food, and then drive home. No - there's time now. Lets have a drink and an appetizer and discuss the meaning of life before ordering.
I got my wife back and until very recently, I hardly realized she was gone. Things evolved so slowly over the years, I didn't really notice the big picture. Feelings of guilt ran in me, thinking about how inconsiderate I must have been. But those feelings were quickly overshadowed with, well.... fun. We started working out together. Started hitting the tennis ball on Sundays. Take a ride down the river in the boat. Walk the nature trail at the local city park. Pick a television series on Netflix and start watching it 2 or 3 episodes at a time. Long walks with the dog - pooping her out so much I had to carry her home.
And the occasional motorcycle ride. I bought her gear years prior, but could hardly get her to bite. It was always something else - too tired, too much work, too __________. In mid-November, I asked her to join me on a weekend adventure. And she said yes.
Lake Kincaid Reservoir, Kistachie National Forest. Empty nesters having a ball.
