Things not to say to a police officer

[mdisher]

OK, was waiting at the mall today with my son, waiting to go see Talladega Nights! (twas good by the way) and we wandered into Spencer's. They had this shirt, which I almost bought.

Things not to say to a Police Officer...

- Sorry Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.

- Aren't you the guy from the Village People?

- Didn't I see you get your *** kicked on COPS?

- I thought you had to be in relatively good shape to be a police officer?

- You're not going to check the trunk are you?

- Whoops, that's the fake one... Here ya go, this is the one.

- I was going to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school instead.

- Yeah, I saw your lights, but I thought you were in a hurry to get a donut.

- I can't reach my license, can you hold my beer?

- Are you Andy or Barney?

- Do you have any idea how much of a hurry I'm in?

- Well, when I reached down to pick up my bag of crack, my gun fell off my lap and got lodged between the brake pedal and the gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of control.

- So what's a good bribe go for around here?

That's all I could remember

Feel free to add your own.

 

[fhaze]

Cop: Do you know why I pulled you over?

You: Because you are selling tickets to the Policemen's Ball?

Cop: No, Policemen don't have balls anymore

You: I see

 

[evil_henchman]

Cop: Do you know why I pulled you over?You: Because you are selling tickets to the Policemen's Ball?

Cop: No, Policemen don't have balls anymore

You: I see

You'll probably think I'm lieing but my sister in law actually had that conversation with a cop about 20 years ago. When the cop replied "policemen don't have ball's", in a very snotty tone by the way, her and her friend looked at each other and burst out laughing. The cop turned beet red, walked back to his car and left. :lol: