Things that make you slap your forehead and say "Doh!"

[Old Guy]

For some time I thought how inconvenient the sidestand was on my 2013. Being between the footpeg and centerstand lever made me turn my foot sort of sideways and try to get in there to get it. I finally learned to put my heel on the peg then side it back. Then one day I missed. While putting my heel on the peg, I was a little low and accidentally folded the peg. Then when I put my foot down, it hit the sidestand lever and down it went.

So that's how it works. Heel to peg and fold it up -- straight down for sidestand.

Doh!

Come on admit it. You do dumb things too

 

[dcarver]

Not like that!

I do other dumb things!

Like think I gassed up when I didn't then leave for a 200 mile no gas station ride...

 

[escapefjrtist]

I always use the heel of my boot...quick pivot and the sidestand's down! Never really thought about it much...

--G

 

[Old Guy]

I always use the heel of my boot...quick pivot and the sidestand's down! Never really thought about it much...
--G

The heel of my boot's a little wide to get between the peg and centerstand lever. I just discovered accidentally that I could fold the peg back with the back of my heel, and the lever's right there. Simple pleasures or maybe I'm too easily amused.

 

[kamal]

I always use the heel of my boot...quick pivot and the side stand's down! Never really thought about it much...
--G

+1

I've never forgiven myself for cursing the glove box not opening, shortly after buying the bike. I proceeded to gently pry it open, wrecking the lock, before realizing it was electrically operated!

Come on, I can see some of you nodding, muttering 'been there - done that'.

Al.

 

[Old Guy]

Not motorcycle related but it fits the title of the thread.

Several years back I installed a AM/FM radio with CD player in one of my old pickups. I figured out how to set the clock, and it said "2:14 AM." I messed with it for a while and even read the instructions, but I couldn't figure out how to set it to PM. Finally I decided it didn't matter. Later I was going somewhere, set the radion, and the "AM" changed to "FM."

 

[Big Sky]

This is an excerpt from my not-yet-published personal column in the Oct. Northern Rockies Rider:

Some readers may recall last month I wrote about doing dumb things resulting in possible meritorious induction into the "Dumb Club."

My wife reminded me a niece once served as club president after stapling both her thumbs together.

The ink on that column had not even dried when I may have committed a blunder worthy of earning me the presidency ... again.

We were finishing up preparations for the "Into The Unknown" long-distance endurance rally (read all about it elsewhere in this issue). I was changing engine oil and filter and final-drive lube.

I have a dozen or so gallon oil jugs under the bench in my garage. Some have fresh oil, some contain used lubricant. I was evaluating which was which when I found a Honda jug that was only about three-fourths full. Curious, I removed the cap and checked out the contents: nice honey-colored oil. Strange, I didn't recall I had any partial containers of fresh oil.

I thought I should use that oil before opening a new jug, so began pouring the stuff into the funnel sticking out of the oil filler. It seemed to pour rather quickly but then I reasoned the day had gotten to 95 degrees, probably 100 in the garage ... of course the oil viscosity would be reduced.

As the jug neared empty, suddenly the fluid became dark, then almost black. What the f**k?!

Then it hit me!

In mid-winter we always get some family together to cook fleishkeuchle, a Deutsch delicacy Grandma Ida would make, which we learned to savor as children and later learned to cook. It's a deep-fried meat pie. Yum!

Now you know where this is going...

I had poured used cooking oil into my motorcycle crankcase! Argh!

DUMB CLUB PRESIDENT!

And to prove I deserve it, I'm dumb enough to admit it to 10,000 other riders ... in print, for all time!

I drained the canola oil, then a couple of times refilled the crankcase with used motor oil and drained it to flush out the vegetable stuff.

Later I told Sam, our rally rider, that if he thought he smelled french fries while around the bike, to just ignore it.

 

[Old Guy]

Thanks. I feel much better now

 

[Afast03nNJ]

Years ago, I pulled my 89 FJ1200 into the garage after a beautiful fall ride. I made sure I was close to the wall so I could get my car in. Sat on the bike for a minute or two thinking about the fantastic day I just had. As I leaned the bike over onto the side stand, I suddenly realize I forgot to put it down. Jumping off to catch it, I was pinned against the wall. SMH....

 

[gixxerjasen]

Two bad separate incidents with a disk lock. One resulted in a broken toe. Nuff said.

 

[Wlfman]

Shortly after the purchase of my FZ1 back on 2005. I pulled in to get some gas. Filled up, gloves back on, turn on the key reset trip odo, flip kill switch, hit magic button. NADA. WTF she was just running great!?! Key off back on, hit magic button. NADA. Scratching head, well hell let's get off the bike and check fuses. Go to put side stand down D'OH it's already down. Flip sidestand up, key on, hit magic button and she roars to life.

None of my previous bikes had sidestand safety switches...

 

[Old Guy]

A friend broke his speedometer cable on his Cavalcade with a disk lock several years ago. He had to ride it home from South Dakota with no cruise control. Now he has a little plastic plug that he puts in the ignition switch when he puts the disk lock on.

I have an old lawn tractor that seized a bearing on the mower deck. My wife wanted a new one, so I replaced it. Well, aside from the mower deck it still runs fine, so I decided to put it to use.

I live in the woods a couple of hundred yards from the main road, so I took the mower deck off to give me some ground clearance, and I use it to run around through the woods with a little trailer carrying stuff. I carry the trash barrel to the road in it on trash days, move dirt, move my trailers around, etc. Well, one day, it wouldn't start. I'd try the starter, and nothing. Battery was good, I could short around the switch, and the starter would work, etc. But just turning the starter switch would do nothing. I messed with it chasing shorts, replaced the starter switch with a known, good switch, etc. Finally, I noticed that the lever to lower the mower deck was down. I don't know how it got down, and obviously without the deck it did nothing. Except ...... it's designed not to start with the mower deck down. Aaarrruuuggg!!

 

[Fred W]

I'm just a common fool.

Was riding down to Sag Harbor to pay my respects to The Axeman's son Jordon near the first year anniversary of his death. I was riding with my relatively new friend ionbeam and we were to meet another FJR guy cota95 down in southern MA along the way. We met up at a Dunkin' Donuts in Douglas and stopped long enough to shake hands, have a cup a' joe and chew the fat a little while.

When we got ready to roll on, after I had started the bike back up I remembered that my HID headlights had not been both firing up every time, so I thought I would just jump off real quickly and take a look at them. Only problem was I had already absent mindedly folded the kickstand back up. Flop!

That was just the first time I dropped the B4

 

[ionbeam]

^^^^ I saw it happening and couldn't do anything about it, I didn't realize Fred was getting completely off until it was too late. Being behind Fred instead of beside him -- priceless.

 

[Old Guy]

Last winter I was still riding the Goldwing. We were getting ready to leave from our lunch stop when I realized I hadn't plugged my Gerbing liner in. The plug came off the bike just behind my left leg, so I leaned my upper body to the left and down to reach it. Problem is, i'd already put the sidestand up. When I leaned left, my butt and the 900 pound 'wing under it went right. Without my hands on the bars or any way to stop it, that threw it just enough off balance that I fell right there on the parking list sitting perfectly still.

This is cathartic is it not?

 

[yessirrom]

I live in the country. My sidewalk from the drive way to the front door is made of paving stones that we laid down. No leveling beyond the relatively flat ground. The edge closest to the porch is raised above the ground a few inches. The very first week that I had my new 2009 Yamaha Raider, I decided to park on this walkway in front of the house. As I pulled it up even with the front porch rail, I managed to get that big 240 rear tire tilted on the edge of the walk. This tilted me over trapping me between the porch and my bike. I was holding the bike up while leaning against the rail. There was no way to get it pushed back up by myself. Luckily my neighbor drove by about 10 minutes later and I was able to wave him down. His comment with a big smile "Nice bike, kinda heavy huh?"

3 hours after buying my FJR, I pull up to a rail road crossing. My wife has followed me home and is sitting behind me. I decide to get off and go back to talk to her. As I go to put the kickstand down, I step on the shift lever forcing the bike into first. Well it jumps forward and over. I roll over one complete turn and then stand up to see my prized new possession lying on its side. Ugh...

My wife is convinced that I almost died right then. "That thing is dangerous!" Nope just me.

 

[LKLD]

After a stop at the grocery store on my way home from a day's ride, I noticed something didn't seem right. Couldn't think of what was wrong, but knew something was. A bit further down the road it hit me.....my glasses! Everything is friggin' blurry! I always take them off and hook them over the handle on my tail bag, when putting on my helmet. I pull into the entrance of my sub-division and stop to see if they are still there. Yep, still there. Hanging on for dear life. So much relief, as I depend on them for work, reading, and well everything.

So glad I got into that habit of hooking them onto the tail bag when putting on the helmet.

Still, I felt like an *****.

 

[RossKean]

Some of the above stuff is frighteningly familiar - especially the one about leaning over to hook up the heated jacket with the side stand up!

I bought a used Yamaha Venture a few years ago and had some issues the first day. The following is something I posted to the Venture forum at that time...

Traded in the Roadstar and picked up my new (to me) 2002 Venture today. I went over the bike with the salesman and thought I had it figured out pretty well.

Just getting out of town and an unfamiliar green light came on (on the left side of the dash). Bright day and me without my reading glasses interpreted this as an oil light !!! (Started with "O" and had two more letters/characters) Went back to the sales guy and told him the oil light was coming on intermittently. We checked the oil level (OK) so he agreed to replace the oil level sensor (Had to be that, right?). By the time I left town again and rode another few miles, I began to see a pattern of when the light would come on - always in fifth. D'oh - Overdrive light!!! Embarrassing to have to email the guy when I got home a couple of hours later and tell him he could cancel the order for the part - especially since he had agreed to fix it on their nickel!

To make things even better, after my first return to the shop when I first discovered the "oil light" problem, I decided to try out the radio and listen to some music for the ride home. Figured out how to turn it on and found a station. Worked Ok for a few minutes and then I started getting intermittent loud static. WTF!! First an oil light sending unit and now a screwed up radio. (I hadn't figured out the O/D thing yet) I was a little pissed and returned to the sales guy and told him about the radio. This guy was great but (like me) was not intimately familiar with the Venture. He agreed that something was screwy and said that they would replace the unit inside the fairing!! The parts were ordered (oil sensor and parts for the radio). As I said, these guys are great when it comes to customer satisfaction and service!!

By the time I got home, I had figured out the oil light thing and sent an email with my apologies and told him not to bother ordering the part.

Started thinking about the radio... Seemed like it might have been an intermittent grounding issue so I started playing with it after I got home; checking antenna grounds and wiggling the wire from the control unit. I could neither induce the static noise nor stop it by any action, including giving the fairing a gentle thump. Sounded like radio interference...???

Funny thing - I never had a bike with a CB system on it but after I thought about it for awhile, I began to wonder what would happen if a CB transmission came in over the radio station. (was thinking there may have been a fault so there was some cross-talk) D'oh again!! Just realized that in my attempt to get the system operating and tuned while riding, I had managed to turn on the CB (hadn't realized it could run at the same time as the rest of the audio)!

Next step was to RTFM (Read The F***ing Manual).

Next step after that was to send the sales guy another apologetic email explaining that he really didn't have to order the radio parts, either!!

In my defense, I doubt that anyone on earth could figure out the Venture audio system without at least a sneak peek at the manual.

 

[Old Guy]

After a stop at the grocery store on my way home from a day's ride, I noticed something didn't seem right. Couldn't think of what was wrong, but knew something was. A bit further down the road it hit me.....my glasses! Everything is friggin' blurry! I always take them off and hook them over the handle on my tail bag, when putting on my helmet. I pull into the entrance of my sub-division and stop to see if they are still there. Yep, still there. Hanging on for dear life. So much relief, as I depend on them for work, reading, and well everything. So glad I got into that habit of hooking them onto the tail bag when putting on the helmet. Still, I felt like an *****.

I used to use in-helmet speakers on my Goldwing and wore earplugs as well. The idea being that I could dampen other road and wind noises and crank the volume on the radio to hear it better. So, every now and then I'd forget the earplugs. I'd put the helmet on and turn on the ignition and the speakers would try to vaporize my ears. It's a wonder I can hear at all now.