This Week's Story: " Dear Dad - She's Pregnant "

[HuskyRider]

A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see that his bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw, propped up prominently on the pillow, an envelope that was addressed to "Dear Dad."

With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and started reading the letter:

"Dear Dad,

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you. I have been finding real passion with Stacy, and she is so nice.

But I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercing, tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes, and the fact that she is much older than I am. But it's not only the passion, Dad, she's pregnant.

Stacy said that we will be very happy together. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.

Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people that live nearby. In the meantime, we will pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Stacy can get better. She deserves it.

Don't worry, Dad. I'm 15 and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure that we will be back to visit so that you can get to know your grandchildren.

Your Son, John

P.S. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house. My report card is on my desk and just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than this report card. I love you. Call me when it's safe to come home.

~ Author Unknown ~

 

[wheatonFJR]

Wish I had thought of that when I was younger.

 

[Bugnatr]

Damn, that kid has a future in politics.

 

[Fred W]

Good one. :thumbsup: I did not see that coming.

 

[HotRodZilla]

My dad would have beat me for the report card and then beat me for the letter. Patch; however, would have gotten away with that ****. Haha...

 

[CAJW]

My dad would have beat me for the report card and then beat me for the letter. Patch; however, would have gotten away with that ****. Haha...

My little brother might as well be named Patch. Little fart got away with everything, me always busted!

 

[Pterodactyl]

I am the youngest of three sons. Yes I got away with murder. Our parents were old, beaten down and near giving up by the time I became an adolescent. More importantly, everyone knows older brothers are dumb.

 

[Redfish Hunter]

"My" son is so dumb that he would have the bad report card and not be smart enough to come up with a letter like that.

I am thinking that the money I am saving for his College Fund may end up being his Criminal Defense Fund.

 

[wnyfjr]

Even my 88-year-old mother-in-law got a laugh outta this one! I just wish I had been as clever back in grade school. Report card time was always a stressful time.

 

[Fred W]

My report cards were only a problem for me due to the "missed days" line down at the bottom. It seems that truancy is highly discouraged by some parents?

I always figured that if I could (still) pass the class, it shouldn't really matter how many days I was out enjoying other pursuits like the sampling of new craft beers, or illicit agricultural products from Mexico. These are the thoughts of the older brother that didn't get away with much.

My younger brother screwed up far more (he still does) but it is never a problem with Mom (Dad's gone). Still... I'm OK with all that. I just don't like "screwing up" all that much, myself.

 

[Big Sky]

I believe I still hold the demerits record for the 8th grade at Fairview Jr. High. 13 demerits = "F" in conduct. I had THREE little RED "F"s in the box after conduct - 42 demerits. There were consequences...