Thought I was gonna laugh my ass off

[RadioHowie]

GORGEOUS 78 degree day today in Central Florida. (Eat yer hearts out, yankees!)

Just finished up a carb overhaul on my ZRex and thought I'd go hoolie-mode for a while.

Went for a short drive that turned in to a long one. Don't they always?

Coming back home, about 3 miles from my house, I'm winding down out of hoolie-mode and putting along the 4 lane around 60 when a guy with brand new ATTGATT astride a brand new C-14 comes ripping past me. It was SO new, it still had plastic on the seat and a 2 day old dealer tag.

Since I wasn't completely out of character, I decided to give chase. Caught up with him at a stoplight about a mile from home.

I pulled up behind and to the right, since I didn't feel like a "challenge" so close to my turn-off. We both waited for the light to change, and I could see him checking me out in his right rearview.

He kept blipping the throttle, and easing out the clutch with each blip, lurching his bike forward. Guess he was "gonna show me" when the light turned green.

Just one problem.....he hadn't shifted down to first! :rofl:

Oh, make that TWO problems...the light turned green, he revs his Connie, pops the clutch and immediately stalls it. Unfortunately for him, he was so ready to go squid on me, when he stalled, both feet were already off the ground and on his pegs.

So right there, right in front of me, not six feet away, Billy Bonehead stalls his brand-new Connie, falls over on his right side and wipes out the right bag, that MONSTROUS muffler, right rearview, and about $1500 worth of tupperware.

We're surrounded by traffic, he's picking up pieces of his brand new Kaw and throwing them in the median strip and there I sit on my streetfighter, laughing like a 12 year old.

Gawd, you can't pay for this kind of entertainment!

 

[ceddec]

Its really sad to see something like that happen, but so damned funny too. Here's his sign. oster_oops:

 

[El Toro]

So.....

Did you help him pick it up?

 

[RadioHowie]

So.....
Did you help him pick it up?

HELL no....I couldn't. I was laughing so hard it was all I could do to keep MY bike up!

 

[ShinyPartsUp]

Did he scuff up his shiny new riding gear too? Two to one he makes up a story for hid friends about a hooligan biker on a ZX who distracted him ....

 

[FJRBluesman]

Sounds like a guy I know from Santa Fe that was Dreamin' He also stalled his bike at a light racing a Brit but, he didn't drop 'er. Almost got a dog up his rear end though. hehe... (a few will get this little bit)

 

[RadioHowie]

Sounds like a guy I know from Santa Fe that was Dreamin' He also stalled his bike at a light racing a Brit but, he didn't drop 'er. Almost got a dog up his rear end though. hehe... (a few will get this little bit)

 

[Bustanut joker]

It's amazing what you Gheys in central Floordida find funny........I mean, poor *** just wasted 2 grand wortha plastic... an the best ya kin do is laugh..

Why Ida ball kicked 'em whilst he was down, then molested the Manatee pillion rider, removed his skull cap helmet an sh!t in it, Called in a pizza order,.. picked it up an ate it...............Then asked if he needed help.

But, Thats jus me...

:jester:

 

[Bungie]

A few years back I'm sitting first in line at a set of lights. I'm on my Mean Streak. Now, understand about the roads in Northern Ontario. They suck, its genuinely hard to ride slow because the bike is pitching over and yawing in heaves and cracks and potholes and stuff.

Anyway. I'm sitting there at these lights and this guy about 55 pulls up behind the car beside me on this tassled out Roadie. No baffles. I can hear him back there reving up his bike and listening to the sound echo'ing off the buildings. The car beside me hangs a right, Tassle'Boi creeps up beside me, 'clearing out' that big roadie.

The bike gets caught in a 3" crack in the road. Over it goes.

Then it happened. He stabs out a foot to 'catch' the bike.. its no use, its going over. I hear the engine rev, the pipes blatting out and, over top of the cacophony of sound - I hear the loudest fart ever issued by land dwelling mammal. That bike was NOT going to touch the ground if he had anything to say about it. Well, physics being what it is, and the fact that his core muscles now had nothing to bear against with the every cubic millimeter of gas now expelled, they did the next best thing.....

Thats right, he **** himself from the strain right there in downtown Sudbury.

Worse, his bike was now laying on it side blocking the intersection, his pants were full of dinner, and the cop who I hadn't even seen had his cherries on.

It was all to much for me. I was literally laughing so hard I was crying. I thought I was gonna pass out from laughter and drop MY bike, so I flipped the kickstand down and feeblie checked to see that buddy was okay. The cop was now within about 15' feet of us, on foot. Buddy is trying to lift his bike up when the cop spies 'the stain' and sees I'm crying. He knows what happened. He starts laughing.

So there the 3 of us are, 2 of us having trouble maintaining our balance because were laughing so hard, and buddy who knows he not only dropped his bike, **** his pants but now is gonna get a ticket as well. We pick up his bike and push it around the corner, I move my bike outta the way.

The cop says to me, "Your friend is having a bad day?", and I start laughing again. I can't get the words out to tell him "He ain't no friend of mine".

Long story short, turns out he didn't have ANY paperwork with him but only got written up for excessive noise. Given that I heard the fart OVER TOP of his pipes, I'm thinking this guy needed to put baffles in his ass. That starts me laughing again (hell, I'm laughing again right now!).

I split right after that just KNOWING that guy rode home with his pants full of ****.

Epilogue: I bumped into that cop again on a charity ride and he recognized me instantly. He calls one of the other cops over and asks me to tell the story. Seems it made the rounds at work and he wanted an independent witness to verify it with his buddies.

 

[FJRBluesman]

It's amazing what you Gheys in central Floordida find funny........I mean, poor *** just wasted 2 grand wortha plastic... an the best ya kin do is laugh.. Why Ida ball kicked 'em whilst he was down, then molested the Manatee pillion rider, removed his skull cap helmet an sh!t in it, Called in a pizza order,.. picked it up an ate it...............Then asked if he needed help.

But, Thats jus me...

:jester:

Yep that's you... and odot.... :dribble:

 

[zip]

Then it happened. He stabs out a foot to 'catch' the bike.. its no use, its going over. I hear the engine rev, the pipes blatting out and, over top of the cacophony of sound - I hear...

I feel like Beavis laughing at this, "Huha, huha, he said fart...", but that was hilarious. And well written, too.

The first story was fun, too, though I feel a bit bad for the guy. That woulda been the kind of retarded thing I would've done. I'm still in the "will drop it someday" crowd.

 

[Bustanut joker]

GORGEOUS 78 degree day today in Central Florida. (Eat yer hearts out, yankees!)


Went for a short drive that turned in to a long one.

as always

entertainment!

Hey Howie!.... Nice ride!

:jester:

 

[RadioHowie]

A few years back I'm sitting first in line at a set of lights. I'm on my Mean Streak. Now, understand about the roads in Northern Ontario. They suck, its genuinely hard to ride slow because the bike is pitching over and yawing in heaves and cracks and potholes and stuff.
Anyway. I'm sitting there at these lights and this guy about 55 pulls up behind the car beside me on this tassled out Roadie. No baffles. I can hear him back there reving up his bike and listening to the sound echo'ing off the buildings. The car beside me hangs a right, Tassle'Boi creeps up beside me, 'clearing out' that big roadie.

The bike gets caught in a 3" crack in the road. Over it goes.

Then it happened. He stabs out a foot to 'catch' the bike.. its no use, its going over. I hear the engine rev, the pipes blatting out and, over top of the cacophony of sound - I hear the loudest fart ever issued by land dwelling mammal. That bike was NOT going to touch the ground if he had anything to say about it. Well, physics being what it is, and the fact that his core muscles now had nothing to bear against with the every cubic millimeter of gas now expelled, they did the next best thing.....

Thats right, he **** himself from the strain right there in downtown Sudbury.

Worse, his bike was now laying on it side blocking the intersection, his pants were full of dinner, and the cop who I hadn't even seen had his cherries on.

It was all to much for me. I was literally laughing so hard I was crying. I thought I was gonna pass out from laughter and drop MY bike, so I flipped the kickstand down and feeblie checked to see that buddy was okay. The cop was now within about 15' feet of us, on foot. Buddy is trying to lift his bike up when the cop spies 'the stain' and sees I'm crying. He knows what happened. He starts laughing.

So there the 3 of us are, 2 of us having trouble maintaining our balance because were laughing so hard, and buddy who knows he not only dropped his bike, **** his pants but now is gonna get a ticket as well. We pick up his bike and push it around the corner, I move my bike outta the way.

The cop says to me, "Your friend is having a bad day?", and I start laughing again. I can't get the words out to tell him "He ain't no friend of mine".

Long story short, turns out he didn't have ANY paperwork with him but only got written up for excessive noise. Given that I heard the fart OVER TOP of his pipes, I'm thinking this guy needed to put baffles in his ass. That starts me laughing again (hell, I'm laughing again right now!).

I split right after that just KNOWING that guy rode home with his pants full of ****.

Epilogue: I bumped into that cop again on a charity ride and he recognized me instantly. He calls one of the other cops over and asks me to tell the story. Seems it made the rounds at work and he wanted an independent witness to verify it with his buddies.

As hard as I'm laffn' right now after readin' this? That's how hard I laughed this afternoon. :rofl:

Especially this part...

...I hear the loudest fart ever issued by land dwelling mammal...

Thanks for the mammaries.

 

[RadioHowie]

Hey Bust....

Nice head!

 

[johnny80s]

Sounds like a guy I know from Santa Fe that was Dreamin' He also stalled his bike at a light racing a Brit but, he didn't drop 'er. Almost got a dog up his rear end though. hehe... (a few will get this little bit)

Hey, I know that guy!

 

[ShinyPartsUp]

A few years back..... Well, physics being what it is, and the fact that his core muscles now had nothing to bear against with the every cubic millimeter of gas now expelled, they did the next best thing.....
Thats right, he **** himself from the strain right there in downtown Sudbury...."

I nearly **** MY pants reading this! Just too good to be true. I'm going to hook up some O2 now....

 

[fjrb0]

just too damn funny!!!!