The worst thing I have seen an automobilist do...
It wouldn't count, because I wasn't on my bike.
However, whilst riding, I can tell you the worst thing I've seen 'em do, and the thing I hate most. The worst thing I've seen them do, is the same thing we've all seen, many times - almost kill me.
The thing I hate most, is when some silly sonofabitch or defective split-tail nearly runs my *** over or pulls right out in front of me, and then smiles and waves at me. Just what the hell is it about these rectal abortions that makes them think that once they've almost killed me, and they realize it, that now we're friends. Is there something I'm missing, here? Does nearly smearing my *** all over the roadway constitute an amiable introduction to these people, or do they just have a smooth area to their frontal lobe? Of all the people in the world, those who practice this curious, abominable behavior, really piss me off.
Two such examples from this year...
Case #1. I'm cycling along on the divided bypass around town, doing a reasonable 65mph, with no other traffic around, when this low-born, short-sleeve type with his sunglasses on zips his Aerostar out from a side road in front of me, angles across the next lane - giving me no way out - so he can pull a U-turn. He saw me clearly. I could see that he saw me clearly. He could see that I could see that I saw him seeing me clearly. He stomped the accelerator to pull this ****, quite aware that I would have to emergency brake (or something), to avoid him. He knew he was endangering me, and I could tell exactly what he was thinking: "Aww... It's just a bike." He's going to pull out anyway, because he wants to get across and turn around, right now, and some little bike can just look out for itself. He saw me brake like a madman to avoid slamming into him - never took his eyes off of me. Then, while making his U, he smiles like I'm his long-lost brother, and waves like his cruise ship was coming into port.
I don't give in to road rage, but death by slow asphyxiation is too good for some people.
Case #2 This bimbo in her new, blue Altima (isn't it wonderful that some ***** can save gas and still find comfort in a foreign sedan?) decided to absent-mindedly change over into the left lane. I just happened to be in the lane she wanted to slide over into, slowly overtaking her. She didn't see me - I'll give her that. Of course, that's because she lacks the brainpower to drive and look into a mirror at the same time; unless she's checking her hair, that is. It was a quick, close call. The car following me precluded me from braking, and all I could do was swerve. Bimbo Babe still almost got me, but realized I was there at the last instant and ****** back into her lane. I'm sitting beside her at a red light less than a minute later. She looks at me in a mild chagrin; she knows she almost hit me. She smiles, as if we were teenagers and I was her prom date, and (from just three or four feet away) waves like I was here to pick her up.
Yeah. I would have liked to have picked her up and sold her *** to a Mexican street gang. Fortunately, there aren't such in my part of the country. Just a thought...
Oh, well... I've had it happen other times. Most riders probably have. Still and all, I really do hate those rejected specimens of humanity who think waving and grinning at someone they nearly squashed, is a good way to make friends and meet people.
