What's the dumbest thing you've done on a bike?

[CAJW]

The list is long, but one I'll actually admit to involved "0" speed. About 6 yrs ago, The Boss and I had just left our home in Chandler, AZ on my 97' ST1100 wearing First Gear Speed Jackets. We decided at the first stop sign to open our zip vents (across the back at the shoulders) to help exhaust the Sirocco that we surely would find. With no traffic to worry about, I just clicked my trusty ST into neutral, released the clutch and twisted around on the seat to my right to return the unzip favor to the Mrs. as she had already unzipped mine (stay with me here!). Bike still running in neutral, side stand up, when I turned around facing backwards, didn't have my hands on the bars, which was the exact same moment she turned around (to her right) for me to be able to reach the back of her jacket, shifting her weight to the right side (road crown leaned also to the right). We started a slow tilt to the right side with the 700 lb + ST searching for pavement. I'm not sure how I caught it in time, but the leg muscles in my right leg were screaming out as I stopped it from crashing to the ground, had her put her foot down to get her weight off the bike and I got it back upright. After a verbal exchange in timing these maneuvers, I realized that I was the moron who should have shut off the engine, kept it in gear, planted the side stand, THEN done the zipper thing, we moved on down the road. I hope that this public meal of crow will be a teachable moment for someone who might be tempted to do the same dumb stunt I pulled and doesn't do it. The lesson I learned is that we're never in that much of a hurry we can't put the bike in a stable condition first before making gear adjustments.

One other quick story (buddy of mine related this). He was on his way to work on a 1980 KZ1000 with his Igloo Ice Chest strapped behind him with one bungee cord. Riding along about 60, with the throttle lock on, he happened to look in his right hand mirror to see the bungee cord had came loose and his lunch about to depart the premises. He reaches back with his right hand to grab it before it falls and saves it. Unfortunately he missed the handle and basically "traps" it against the side panel below the seat near the passenger foot peg. Now he's cruising along at 60 with the throttle lock holding his speed with his right hand holding his lunch from a certain demise. With real estate running out (he was fast approaching a "T" intersection) he finally had to drop his Igloo and grab the throttle to decel before blowing the stop sign and hitting a fence. His lunch ended up all over the road and inflicted much road rash on his Igloo, but the lesson he took away was to make sure his lunch was securely fastened before departing (or assure he had enough lunch $ for the day).

Let someone top these boneheaded moves.

 

[Patriot]

https://www.fjrforum.com/forum//index.php?showtopic=114491

 

[dbvolfan]

Rode to work in the snow and ice...30 mile commute with a good 1" of snow on the ground and 4" by the end of the day. I still dont know how I lived through it because the bike was sliding all over the place.

When I did arrive at work I parked my bike at the far end of the ice covered parking lot, walked to Walmart where I bought new underwear and then promptly called my wife to tell her she was going to have to pick me up at 5pm.

STUPID!

 

[Bigbeavk]

How about heading up a steep hill and trying to make a U-Turn. Bike falls over but adreniline takes over and I escape without a scratch. Luckily nobody crested the top of the hill coming the other way. Gravity hurts sometimes!

 

[cota95]

In the mid 70's somewhere. I'm on a Suzuki 380 street bike. I come out of an apartment house and jump on my faithful steed. A couple of young things come over to ask me about my hot machine . For some unknown reason my 380 would start with the forks locked (didn't know until then). I figure I'm going to show my admirers a real high speed takeoff. As quick as you can say WTF I'm on the ground under 500lbs of machine with that 2 stroke ring-a-ding dinging. :blink: The girls were ever so impressed.

 

[FJRay]

In 1971 I rode a chopper from Calif. to Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. No it wasn't a HD. Things were OK until I left Texas heading east. from there I found that Easy Rider was a true story. I was refused gas, food and lodging. Got run off the road in Mississippi and got robbed In Alabama. I had to go to six places in Jackson before anybody would sell me gas. I got to the base ( was still in the military ) and the local police told me that if I rode that bike in Myrtle Beach I would go to jail. Sold it to a guy from New Jersey. Don't know what his luck was like.

 

[fjrchooser]

15 years old and racing against my brothers mini bike on my Cushman, I reach down to tweak the high speed carb needle.

Reached a little too far and ran the four fingers of my right hand through the gear and chain drive at 40 mph while driving crossed up with my left hand on the throttle.

Fortune smiled on the foolish-the transmission case broke keeping me from going around the primary more than once .

Spent the next two days in the hospital having landmark ( for the time) microsurgery to reattach my middle finger and repair crushed bones & joints in the other three. My leather glove retained the important parts. Fingers are jacked up looking now but mostly work okay until they get cold.

I didn't crash though..

I learned how to rebuild a 2 speed transmission one handed under the watchful eye of Matt Krump, owner of the 3 pump 2 bay Mobil station around the corner from us.

Best thing I learned was how quickly good things can go bad when you don't think ahead.

 

[jmdaniel]

Another hamstring buster. Rode my '86 Honda Shadow 700 into my garage, and forgot to put my feet down. It tipped to the right, I was introduced to what a blown hamstring feels like, and a case of beer sitting on the floor actually saved the bike from going all the way down. The drag post on the foot peg punctured the top of a beer can, and it held the bike up! Of course, I was full of pain and beer, but the bike remained upright! :yahoo:

 

[Bungie]

I had an old trail bike, 76 DT125 Yamaha. For some reason, I brought it out from camp to the house. Were standing around one night and I get the great idea to try riding it backward. My buddies thought this was the best idea EVER.

So, I fired it up. Got off, then got back on... facing backwards. I pulled in the clutch kicked it into gear and let the clutch out.

No gas at all. It took a couple of tries but I finally got it! I was riding a bike backwards. My buddies are hootin' and hollering and I'm laughing my ass off.

Then my brain took absolute leave of me when it came to stop.

...

I ended up just standing up and letting the bike go on ahead.

 

[marcusorelius]

Way back in 66 my bro & I co-owned a mini-bike, we went on vaction and let our friend ride it while we were gone. When we got back we found out he took it out lost the gas cap, and stuck a sock in it! KA-BLEWIE! No more mini-bike as it went up in flames!

 

[Wes Nile]

This is just a little thing but, ... I am good for at least one dumb-ass event a season. Most are mere inconveniences that mix with embarassment and caused strained muscle soreness the next day. Stopping on an incline (perpidicular the incline) - Trying to put my foot down only to realize its on the on the downward slope of the hill. Then realizing the consequences and trying to up-right the bike. Things like that.

It seems most occur while trying to park the bike, I mean pack, the bike back into the garage. Especially during the summer, I will usually wait till the bike has cooled then pack it next to the other bike(s). Often by this time I am striped down to a t-shirt, shorts and flip-flops or sandals. As I try to place the bikes as close together as possible alot of small adjustments and manuevering is required. It has happened before and will probably happen again, my feet will loose traction and the bike will begin to lean or fall one way or another. Sometimes the bike has completely cooled, sometimes it hasn't. My leg muscles will over compensate for the traction issue and strain to keep the bike from being damaged. Or I will pinch my legs or fingers between the bikes. Sometimes the pain is immediate, sometimes it hits me later.

Most embarrassing - It was raining. I was off-loading a new bike at the dealership for its first 500 mile service. The tilt bed trailer was wet. I began backing the bike down the trailer using the front brake to control the rate of descent. I continued to back the bike up when.. WHAM! The tilt bed trailer passed its teetering point and slammed to the ground. The gravity of the tilt combined with the 700 pound bike to propel the bike rearwards as if being pushed by the hand of God. The rain soaked wood provided no traction for the front tire when I locked it up and the bike began sliding on the wooden trailer deck. As the bike was sliding backwards and sideways, it began to fall towards me. I tried to control the bike but also found I had no traction. The bike fell partially over on me, trapping my leg against the trailer frame rail. Unfortunately, the bike used its gas tank to stop its self from falling by colliding with the trailer rail as well. I had a huge bruise on my hamstring for three weeks. Damn I was mad at myself. I had a couple of other dents and scrapes but my wallet had taken the biggest bruise. Guess how much a Victory Vegas 8-Ball gas tank costs? Luckily the dealer felt bad and gave me a break, only $980.00. Whenever I think of this it almost makes me feel sick. :bad:

 

[Checkswrecks]

I like the line from Kevin Cameron that goes something like: I'm as smart as the height of the pile of broken parts I'm standing on.

As for my personal dumbest thing, it was trying to ride drunk one night in the 70's. The road turned and I didn't. I've done a lot of dumb stuff since then, but promised myself not to do that one again.

Honda hadn't yet come out with the ad that says: Stupid Hurts

 

[Braenen]

On my commute to work approaching a traffic light with a line of cars to my right I noticed that the driver to my front/right was typing out a message on his Blackberry and paying very little attention to the road. Seeing this, I slowed down and kept his bumper in front of me until he committed to stopping. I was being careful to stay fully in his mirror for safety. When the light changed, he glanced up and changed lanes to the left without even a glance to his side or mirrors. I hit my horn and he ****** the wheel back to his lane with a sheepish "oh, I didnt see you there" look.

Well, I was iritated more than I should have been and I decided to vacate the area at the maximum rate possible. The bike was in 1st gear at about 20 mph when I snapped the throttle to full lock. Somehow I managed to hold on and eventually pull myself back on the bike. I didnt dare change my hand position on the throttle and decided to change gears to keep from red lining while I repositioned my body. Three gear changes later I was able to relax the throttle and the front tire gently touched down again somewhere around 130 to 140 MPH. I will never do that again...

 

[wheatonFJR]

This is a trick question right?

 

[El Toro Joe]

never mind :crazy: :rofl:

 

[FJRGuy]

Decided "We don't need a condom." :nono: I'll let you fill in the blanks!

 

[MEM]

Decided "We don't need a condom." :nono: I'll let you fill in the blanks!

[SIZE=12pt]I[/SIZE]'m not attempting this one.....

:jerry:

 

[wheatonFJR]

Decided "We don't need a condom." :nono: I'll let you fill in the blanks!

Sounds like you already did. B)

 

[fjrchooser]

Decided "We don't need a condom." :nono: I'll let you fill in the blanks!

And somehow you managed this on a bike ?