Why are ADV writers such windbags?

[wnyfjr]

...and guzzle cheap Gennie Cream Ale. I then fart.

Sadly, a natural by-product of that brew...

 

[Hudson]

ADV writer types are windbags! Recipe for ride journals :

• talk lots
• sell all my stuff
• buy expensive stuff
• travel far
• arrive home, talk lots more

Out of hand now, was fun long time ago.
Read him: "Root Beer Run", he's more real.

Or Frenchy, him good too, him write original thoughts, even if also long.

I like travel stuff too.

Call BS on my RRs if too wordy.

"Insert parody of wordy Reuben Run ride report"

[cue puking]

Anyone notice the length of the OP while wondering about other "windbags"?

Fixed it for you, Bounce. Doesn't quite have the same flavor, though.

 

[Fred W]

Me like

 

[littlefish]

Isn't winter over yet??? I truly wish all y'all that are stuck indoors would get a chance to get out and ride!!! FWIW, here is a sucky ride report:

https://www.advrider.com/forums/showthread.php?t=867128&

 

[Fred W]

You may wish to note that the OP is not in a traditionally snowbound part of the country.

I'm sure it is muy bueno, but Mexico isn't in my personal ride itinerary right now.

 

[BlackStar]

All my magazines are ADV this and ADV that, Gezuus!

 

[Hudson]

Isn't winter over yet??? I truly wish all y'all that are stuck indoors would get a chance to get out and ride!!! FWIW, here is a sucky ride report:
https://www.advrider.com/forums/showthread.php?t=867128&

I skimmed this RR, and while it's a bit tedious at times with the detail, certainly not of the wind-baggery ilk. BTW, my original post was targeting the journalists, not the crap you see on ADV forum.

I personally have nothing against long ride reports, just those that follow the ADV cliché and wallow too much in self-absorbed introspective wanking. Say what you gotta say, entertain us, but most of you aren't feckin Hemingway, so spare us the ******-baggery. Better you fill up your RR with food **** pix.

And yeah, winter is over mostly...but not quite.

 

[Bustanut joker]

Chuckle.. I took the wing out today and felt like Melville.... But I'll be damned if I am able to wax poetic aboot the experience.

I'm a fukin failure I guess..

An yes Dave I took pics of me in the suit wearing a sheep fuker sign..

Ah crap! I contaminated this fine thread with vulgarity,, Scooty is gonna be pissed.

Again.

 

[dcarver]

Hudson, read this one..

 

[littlefish]

Isn't winter over yet??? I truly wish all y'all that are stuck indoors would get a chance to get out and ride!!! FWIW, here is a sucky ride report:
https://www.advrider.com/forums/showthread.php?t=867128&

I skimmed this RR, and while it's a bit tedious at times with the detail, certainly not of the wind-baggery ilk. BTW, my original post was targeting the journalists, not the crap you see on ADV forum.

I personally have nothing against long ride reports, just those that follow the ADV cliché and wallow too much in self-absorbed introspective wanking. Say what you gotta say, entertain us, but most of you aren't feckin Hemingway, so spare us the ******-baggery. Better you fill up your RR with food **** pix.

And yeah, winter is over mostly...but not quite.

I can tell a RR is something I'll read right away or skip over to the next one. Way too much writing and too little time to get bogged down with the hee-haw hemmingways...

 

[beemerdons]

Isn't winter over yet??? I truly wish all y'all that are stuck indoors would get a chance to get out and ride!!! FWIW, here is a sucky ride report:
https://www.advrider.com/forums/showthread.php?t=867128&

Ah Mexico, it's so groovy Mon' I just want to go! Great Ride Report, I haven't even washed the Baja dirt off of my Beemer GS and I want to turn her South and head back to Dos Cabos again! If our Hudson actually rode Mexican dirt he would appreciate these type of Ride Reports more! jes' sayin' and nuff' said!

PS Davey Babey: The Mulege Baja Sur Bus leaves on Friday at Noon October 4 from the gas station just north of the Border in Tecate, California. Dr. Rich is picking up Old Michael in Sacramento and they are overnighting in San Diego on 10/3; you can ride South from the Specific Northwet with The Great Dane!

 

[beemerdons]

Hudson, read this one..

We would invite dcarver to ride to Mulege in Baja this October, but I'm afraid he's way too gay for Old Michael and Dr. Rich's tastes! jes' sayin' and nuff' said!

 

[BikerGeek99]

Hudson, read this one..

Verm was one of the funniest fuckers ever. I even bought a "Rabic Cack Fan" t-shirt.

 

[BikerGeek99]

Recipe for such ride journals seem to be:

• wallow in various navel gazing about the senselessness of the material world
• sell all earthy material possessions
• promptly reinvest funds into brand new (preferably BMW'ish) adv bike, loaded to the hilt with high tech gadgets, titanium cookware, and motorcycle winches and such,
• head out to parts unknown
• wax on and on and on about more navel gazing.
• arrive home and pontificate about how much smaller the world just became

Don't forget to add the whale foreskin riding suit to the BMWish ADV bike.

Sounds like ADV Moto is a filtered version of the ADV Rider forum. The last few times I've read an ADV forum RR it was almost insufferable. After visiting the ADV forum I get a burning desire to go to Starbucks, sit there and write haiku on my laptop MacBook Air while sipping on a mocha latte and sampling a finger sandwich.

Laptop? Oh dear god.... Luckily I'm here and fixt her for ya, Bill.

Yeah, screw all of their Aerostich whale foreskin riding suit wearing *****.

Ahem.

 

[Niehart]

Hudson, read this one..

Verm was one of the funniest fuckers ever. I even bought a "Rabic Cack Fan" t-shirt.

Had me laughing out loud and trying to explain what was so funny.

 

[yamafitter]

...After visiting the ADV forum I get a burning desire to go to Starbucks, sit there and write haiku on my laptop MacBook Air while sipping on a mocha latte and sampling a finger sandwich.

Laptop? Oh dear god.... Luckily I'm here and fixt her for ya, Bill.

Thanks for the catch. I would never be allowed into Starbucks with something as pedestrian as a PC laptop. I don't think Windows 8 supports Haiku anyways.

Hudson, read this one..

Verm was one of the funniest fuckers ever. I even bought a "Rabic Cack Fan" t-shirt.

Had me laughing out loud and trying to explain what was so funny.

Takes me back to a time when ADV Rider was a fun read. After Vermin abandoned Cack in Alaska there was a continuing thread where a number of inmates took turns trying to return Cack to its home. I don't remember whether they were successful.

One of my favourite threads on ADV was not funny but an amazing adventure and a great read....

Angola, it's not like they said

 

[Hudson]

https://advrider.com/forums/showthread.php?t=265019]Hudson, read this one..[/url]

**** you Carver, dont ever slip me a post like this without the requisite "you'll want to set aside an afternoon" warning.
Had a convention of suits I was emceeing today and had to start fresh and early, only my *** was draggin onnacounta me staying up well past midnite to finish this masterpiece.

Thanks for this gift. It's helping to numb the migraine caused by the various forum handwringing going on now with respect to line drawing. Vermin would probably just look at all of us and wonder aloud: "you're still here? Oughta be out riding to Bakersfield to kiss the bronze ring finger of Buck Owens."

 

[Hudson]

An yes Dave I took pics of me in the suit wearing a sheep fuker sign..

.

Didn't happen without peechures, my friend

 

[Linc]

Okay, donning my fire retardant dragon foreskin kevlar suit for the napalm about to decend on my shoulders from the likes of Hudson... yet I will tentatively post the link to my favorite ADVRider forum R/R ever. The writer is a pretty insufferable ***, and a bit of a navel gazing windbag, but he is also funny as hell and daaayum... what a sexy bike! It is with great pride I give you:

Coast to Coast with an Italian Supermodel by AntiHero

There is LOTS of food ****...

Apple Fois Gras in New York

Grilled Short Ribs

Elk Burgers in Toronto

Bone Marrow at the Black Hoof

And how bad could a R/R possibly be when a homeless (yeah yeah, he did sell his condo and hit the road) dude in his 40s gets to ride this absolutely divine creation and in the same week get behind the wheel of something I have only seen over the velvet rope of the Detroit Auto Show!

Good stuff, and yes I detest the bloviation of typical dot-commers with a late 90s IPO blooming in an account somewhere in Geneva, the interest from said account fueling their alcohol and drama loaded blathering. Yeah, I'm a hater cause I want to travel too... without money being a concern!

But seriously, that R/R is good stuff!

 

[Hudson]

And damn you Linc for wasting my weekend with those posts.

I think anyone who thinks they need a GSA or Multistrada needs to do 2000 miles on a PC800 first.