My wife just got a new job too!
Dearest John,
As you know from my profile, I live in fairly close proximity to you. Please PM me the location of your wives present job. For years now, I have made it my duty to visit all the strip joints around town to make sure they comply with the American with Disabilities Act. I do this without any expectation of monies or kudos. You can imagine how I would feel if the wife of one of our forum members gets hurt because I've fallen down on the job. All the information I gather will be privately PM'd to you to avoid the pervert element in the forum (excuse me, I have to sneeze - aaaahBUSTchoo). Please don't make me out to be a hero, John. I'm just one man who, along with Mother Theresa when she was alive, is trying to make this world a better place (if, however you feel that this is sufficiently selfless and heroic, and you must call the local newspaper, the name is spelled Alan, not, heaven forbid, Allen, or Allan).