Hudson
Well-known member
It wasn't supposed to be like this. The next bike added to the stable was supposed to be the insanely powered Aprilia Tuono RSV and its wicked 170 hp twin, strapped to a naked bike frame adorned with every manner of high tech gadgetry, all designed to prevent you from killing yourself. It was the motorcyle equivalent of a Viagra washed down with a wheat grass juice smoothie.
Or the ultra rare heirloom that is the Metisse 8v Café, with 140 hp fuel injected custom parallel twin on a nickel plated oil-in-frame chassis, handbuilt by master craftsmen near Oxford.
Then I happened upon the KTM booth at the recent Seattle show, and climbed aboard an 1190R. Something inside clicked.
I wasn't meant to get an ADV bike. Sure, the PNW crew has been slowly succumbing to the ADV bug infecting the crew like a bout of head lice that methodically makes its way around a third grade elementary class, taking up residence on some while avoiding others. I'd avoided it, whilst the first of the crew, Chris and Diane, started scratching their hair with an RGS1200. Then Sportsguy got the itch with his STenere and it wasn't too long before EscapeArtists started itching his scalp with the Tenere too. SportsGuy let me try his S10 around the block, and yes, it was torquey and fun and stone cold reliable. Just wasn't sure what I'd do with one. Would it gather dust like the Bonneville and Matchless? Or caked on dried mud like the Husky?
Then I made the mistake of walking into a KTM dealer while on a recent trip to S. Cal. Had a few hours to kill, and thought I'd kick the tires. I walked in and spied the R, all dressed up in Touratech livery. (BTW, dressing up your KTM with Touratech bits is like putting mens overalls on a naked supermodel - sure it protects those pretty bits and pieces, but who wants to cover up a naked supermodel?). The dealer was using this as his demo, in addition to the more common 1190 Adventure which is more street oriented.
Don't you want to take it for test ride?
Of course you could borrow a helmet and jacket.
Here, before you head out, let me switch the riding mode to sport, so you can get the feel of all 150 horses.
Going out for an unplanned test ride on a KTM 1190R is like shopping at Costco on an empty stomach. Before you know it, you'll be walking out with a 60lb side of cured proscuitto and a wheel of cave aged Comte, congratulating yourself on how much you saved per pound by shopping in bulk, and mentally arranging the garage fridge to figure out where the hell you're going to find room. It's a futile exercise in forced rationalization.
I should know better. I once walked out of Costco with a $700 Little Giant ladder with full accessories, which I had no intention of buying when I walked in. It has come in handy, and no you can't borrow it.
I came back from the test ride with a dopey grin on my face. Suddenly I'm a twelve year-old who has just discovered girls and got his first woodie.
Do yourself a favor. Don't ride the KTM in full sports mode, and don't grab a handful of throttle while standing on the pegs just before you sail across a railroad crossing and get a few inches of air. Don't even think about pressing down on the wide handlebars while screaming down a freeway cloverleaf onramp to see if you can stick it hard like the FJR. And certainly don't drop down to third, nail the throttle, and see how quick it takes to get distance between you and that Peterbilt that's not slowing down to let you merge on the freeway.
Just don't do any of those things. Unless you plan on walking out of the dealership with a large mass of cured beef and aged cream.
Luckily for me, they won't have any R's in stock until May/June. Unlucky, they take deposits to hold one.
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