A fairy tale

[wfooshee]

One day a long time ago there lived a woman who did not whine, nag, complain, or bitch. . . .

But it was a long time ago and it was just the one day.

 

[Tyler]

Once upon a time,

in a land far away,

a beautiful, independent,

self-assured princess

happened upon a frog as she sat,

contemplating ecological issues

on the shores of an unpolluted pond

in a verdant meadow near her castle.

The frog hopped into the princess' lap

and said: Elegant Lady,

I was once a handsome prince,

until an evil witch cast a spell upon me.

One kiss from you, however,

and I will turn back

into the dapper, young prince that I am

and then, my sweet, we can marry

and setup housekeeping in your castle

with my mother,

where you can prepare my meals,

clean my clothes, bear my children,

and forever

feel grateful and happy doing so.

That night,

as the princess dined sumptuously

on a repast of lightly sauteed frog legs

seasoned in a white wine

and onion cream sauce,

she chuckled and thought to herself:

I don't ****ing think so.

 

[Steel]

Ahh, love.

 

[exskibum]

As Tyler just demonstrated, women cannot be trusted.

But is it all or just some??? For example:

Bottle of Wine

A woman and a man are involved in a car accident on a snowy, cold Monday morning; it's a bad one. Both of their cars are totally demolished but amazingly neither of them is hurt. God works in mysterious ways.

After they crawl out of their cars, the man is yelling about women drivers. The woman says, "So, you're a man. That's interesting. I'm a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but we're unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should be friends and live in peace for the rest of our days". Mollified, the man replies, "Oh yes, I agree completely, this must be a sign from God! But you're still at fault...women shouldn't be allowed to drive."

The woman continues, "And look at this, here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune."

She hands the bottle to the man. The man nods his head in agreement, opens it and drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman.

The woman takes the bottle, puts the cap back on and hands it back to the man.

The man asks, "Aren't you having any?" The woman replies, "No. I think I'll just wait for the police...."

MORAL OF THE STORY: Some women are clever, others are just evil creatures. Learn to tell the difference.

 

[Steel]

As Tyler just demonstrated, women cannot be trusted.
But is it all or just some??? For example:

Bottle of Wine

A woman and a man are involved in a car accident on a snowy, cold Monday morning; it's a bad one. Both of their cars are totally demolished but amazingly neither of them is hurt. God works in mysterious ways.

After they crawl out of their cars, the man is yelling about women drivers. The woman says, "So, you're a man. That's interesting. I'm a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but we're unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should be friends and live in peace for the rest of our days". Mollified, the man replies, "Oh yes, I agree completely, this must be a sign from God! But you're still at fault...women shouldn't be allowed to drive."

The woman continues, "And look at this, here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune."

She hands the bottle to the man. The man nods his head in agreement, opens it and drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman.

The woman takes the bottle, puts the cap back on and hands it back to the man.

The man asks, "Aren't you having any?" The woman replies, "No. I think I'll just wait for the police...."

MORAL OF THE STORY: Some Women are clever, others are just evil creatures. Learn to tell the difference.

But they’ve got more range than we’ve got. The tough ones are tougher, the brave ones are braver, the good ones are better – and the vile ones are viler, for that matter.

 

[exskibum]

But they’ve got more range than we’ve got. The tough ones are tougher, the brave ones are braver, the good ones are better – and the vile ones are viler, for that matter.

Hmmmm, sounds about right to me. But far too often, we're not very good about figuring out which ones fit in that last category until it's too late.

 

[Steel]

But they’ve got more range than we’ve got. The tough ones are tougher, the brave ones are braver, the good ones are better – and the vile ones are viler, for that matter.

Hmmmm, sounds about right to me. But far too often, we're not very good about figuring out which ones fit in that last category until it's too late.

This is true...and they know it. Which is why they grin and shake their heads when they look at us. Evil creatures indeed.

 

[Tyler]

Hmmmm, sounds about right to me. But far too often, we're not very good about figuring out which ones fit in that last category until it's too late.

Gentlemen, there are good and bad ones on both teams - it ain't all on your side... trust me.

 

[Toecutter]

But they’ve got more range than we’ve got...

And apparently, they're better at snipping quoted text....

 

[exskibum]

But they’ve got more range than we’ve got...

And apparently, they're better at snipping quoted text....

Well, everyone knows they're better at multi-tasking -- something at which we men suck. Still scares me when they're driving, actively supervising or disciplining children, talking on the cell phone and having a cup of coffee at the same time. :blink: No way men could pull that off at all, though.

But they have one huge advantage over us when it comes to picking out the bad apples amongst the women. (I know this from my sister.) We don't get to go into the restroom to hear what some women say to others about the date left out in the dining room, BFs, etc. We really are so simple and dumb!

C'mon, Tyler -- whatchu mean saying that there are also bad men?!?!? Where have you found one of them??

 

[Tyler]

C'mon, Tyler -- whatchu mean saying that there are also bad men?!?!? Where have you found one of them??

Don't make me come over there... :assassin:

 

[exskibum]

C'mon, Tyler -- whatchu mean saying that there are also bad men?!?!? Where have you found one of them??

Don't make me come over there... :assassin:

OK, that's it -- I'm afraid of women and am leaving right now -- abandoning the keyboard and gonna high tail it down into the canyon where motorized vehicles ain't allowed. I've gots my escape routes from down there. After a good long run, I'll case the place properly before trying to return.

 

[El Cajone]

Who says men can't multitask!

https://s547.photobucket.com/albums/hh458/E...anMultitask.flv

 

[Tyler]

OK, that's it -- I'm afraid of women and am leaving right now -- abandoning the keyboard and gonna high tail it down into the canyon where motorized vehicles ain't allowed. I've gots my escape routes from down there. After a good long run, I'll case the place properly before trying to return.

You can run but you cannot hide... I will find you, grasshopper!!! BWUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA... :dwarf:

 

[wfooshee]

You can run but you cannot hide... I will find you

Like I said, it was just the one day.

 

[Tyler]

Like I said, it was just the one day.

I did not did not whine, nag, complain, or bitch. . . .

 

[user 6393]

Once upon a time,in a land far away,

a beautiful, independent,

self-assured princess

happened upon a frog as she sat,

contemplating ecological issues

on the shores of an unpolluted pond

in a verdant meadow near her castle.

The frog hopped into the princess' lap

and said: Elegant Lady,

I was once a handsome prince,

until an evil witch cast a spell upon me.

One kiss from you, however,

and I will turn back

into the dapper, young prince that I am

and then, my sweet, we can marry

and setup housekeeping in your castle

with my mother,

where you can prepare my meals,

clean my clothes, bear my children,

and forever

feel grateful and happy doing so.

That night,

as the princess dined sumptuously

on a repast of lightly sauteed frog legs

seasoned in a white wine

and onion cream sauce,

she chuckled and thought to herself:

I don't ****ing think so.

OMG...

NOT going there, nuh uh.

 

[user 6393]

But they’ve got more range than we’ve got. The tough ones are tougher, the brave ones are braver, the good ones are better – and the vile ones are viler, for that matter.

Hmmmm, sounds about right to me. But far too often, we're not very good about figuring out which ones fit in that last category until it's too late.

This is true...and they know it. Which is why they grin and shake their heads when they look at us. Evil creatures indeed.

ya, but admit it, y'all like to live on the edge...

 

[user 6393]

OK, that's it -- I'm afraid of women and am leaving right now -- abandoning the keyboard and gonna high tail it down into the canyon where motorized vehicles ain't allowed. I've gots my escape routes from down there. After a good long run, I'll case the place properly before trying to return.

You can run but you cannot hide... I will find you, grasshopper!!! BWUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA... :dwarf:

You have 2 dirt bikes, correct? me? you?