A man and his mule

[GeorgiaRoller]

A man and his mule - by G.R.

A man was riding his mule down a country road into town and passerby’s looked at the man and stated “That poor mule! It’s back must be hurting with him riding it. This is animal abuse! How could anyone be so cruel”.

Upon hearing this the man got off the mule and started to walk beside the mule and led it by a rope. Passerby’s saw the man leading the mule by a rope and stated “What an *****! Why would you walk when you have a perfectly good mule to ride.”

Upon hearing this the man let the mule free and it galloped many feet ahead of him. Passerby’s upon seeing the loose mule stated “Who is the moron that owns that loose animal? He should be locked up for not looking after his property!”

Upon hearing this the man got back on top of his mule and rode as far away from other people as he possibly could.

 

[Khunajawdge]

A farmer's mule had fallen into a dry well and the old animal was standing at the bottom of it with no way out.

A neighbor discovered the mule in the well and promptly notified the farmer about it.

The two neighbors stood at the edge of the well and contemplated the mule's options.

Being as they had no way to lift the mule out of the well, the decision was made that the mule was old and they would just bury him, so the men set about the task to shoveling dirt into the well.

The mule seemed to figure out that the men had a plan, so he stepped up onto the dirt that was shoveled into the well until he stepped out of the hole on his own.

 

[Redfish Hunter]

Are we supposed to reflect on the wisdom GR is sharing with us or share mule stories? I like both ideas so...

An old farmer and his mule would work in the fields all day. The farmers wife was a mean and bitter woman who fussed and nagged at her husband constantly. The farmer would work his mule until dark to minimize his time with the old woman. He and his mule would take their lunch together under a shade tree to avoid going back to the house. Sensing that he was avoiding her, the old woman walked out to the their lunch spot to continue her fussing.

The old mule stood patiently while the old woman fussed and griped at his master. When the old man stood so they could return to work, the mule unexpectedly kicked out with both hind legs. His hooves caught the fussing woman in the back of the head, killing her instantly. Her last words were a curse for her husband.

At the funeral the preacher was watching the old farmer closely. He noticed that when speaking to the ladies he would slowly nod his head and say, "Yes". But when speaking to the men, he would shake his head emphatically and say "No".

After the service, he asked the old man what was said.

"Well, the ladies all said how nice she looked and that she had found peace at last. I would agree with them. But the men all wanted to buy my mule and I had to tell them NO!"

That is probably not what GR intended but I like a good mule story.

 

[FJRacer]

That is probably not what GR intended but I like a good mule story.

Me too!

 

[ionbeam]

An old man and a young boy were traveling through their village with their donkey. The boy rode on the donkey and the old man walked.

As they went along they passed some people who remarked it was a shame the old man was walking and the boy was riding.

The man and boy thought maybe the critics were right, so they changed positions.

Later, they passed some people that remarked, "What a shame, he makes that little boy walk." They then decided they both would walk.

Soon they passed some more people who thought they were stupid to walk when they had a decent donkey to ride. So, they both rode the donkey.

Now they passed some people that shamed them by saying, "How awful to put such a load on a poor donkey."

The boy and man said they were probably right, so they decided to carry the donkey.

As they crossed a bridge, they lost their grip on the animal and he fell into the river and drowned.

The moral of the story?

If you try to please everyone, you may as well just kiss your *** goodbye.

 

[beemerdons]

Some Very Nice Mule Stories Guys, but Papa Chuy Viejo much prefers Burros ese!

 

[ionbeam]

Some Very Nice Mule Stories Guys, but Papa Chuy Viejo much prefers Burros ese!

Burro = gutter donkey. Here is a nice piece of ***, a hot Sicilian model.

The only issue is the one that pillion owned was noisy and did not endear itself to the neighbors. A fellow coworker had one that he took to kids parties, its name was Oaty -- go ahead, say it -- Donkey Oaty. There, I knew you could

 

[bwv]

Okay... so there's an Old Donkey and a Young Donkey standing on a hill looking down at a herd of....

Oh wait.. that's *********...

 

[HotRodZilla]

This older man takes his wife and his mule to the market to pick up their supplies. The wagon is loaded and the mule us stubborn. So, part way home, the mule stop pulling the wagon and sits down. The man, pissed, walks to the mule and tells him, "That's one." Then he hits the mule with a rope and gets him moving.

A while later, the mule stops again. The man approaches him and says, "That's two." And repeats the process to get the mule moving.

As they are within a couple miles of home, the mule stops yet again. The man again approaches the mule. This time, he says, "That's three." He then pulls a pistol and shoots the mule; killing him.

The man's wife is incensed. She starts yelling at her husband. She tells him how stupid he is and how he is a bad person for overworking the mule. She reminds him he is an ***** because now they have no mule to pull the heavy wagon. The man hearing this, stops to think. Then he walks over to his wife and says, "That's one."

 

[beemerdons]

Some Very Nice Mule Stories Guys, but Papa Chuy Viejo much prefers Burros ese!

Burro = gutter donkey. Here is a nice piece of ***, a hot Sicilian model.

Hubba, hubba, hubba, hubba and hubba! Many Thanks Alan, I'm adding this fine photo to my personal Burro **** collection!

 

[Redfish Hunter]

Great. GeorgiaRoller posts something deep and philosophical (I think) using a mule as part of the lesson and now we have sunk to donkey and burro **** within the first 10 responses. Same forum, different year.

 

[HotRodZilla]

Great. GeorgiaRoller posts something deep and philosophical (I think) using a mule as part of the lesson and now we have sunk to donkey and burro **** within the first 10 responses. Same forum, different year.

As much as I like you, GR's mule story was not really that philosophical. It was a simple lesson in not putting too much weight in what other people think. Anyone who mentions farm animals on this Forum and does not expect it to degrade into something unholy is just living in a dream world; last year, this year, next year, the year after that and so on.

 

[wheatonFJR]

G.R. - I notice that you changed your "location" from "guess" to "earth". I am presuming this change has something to do with the guesses you rec'd?

Anyways, this has nothing to do with your story.

Or does it?

 

[Redfish Hunter]

And since I don't like you... Wait, never mind.

Since you and I so often think alike I am surprised you took that as completely serious. I could care less if our jolly friend from Arizona posts Donkey ****. As long as he is here and happy, I am happy. I missed him and his twisted sense of humor when he abandoned us. Although, I prefer his pics of Salma Hayek to the donkey pics.

I was more or less reflecting that the more things change, the more they stay the same. Usually it takes a few more posts for a thread to unravel though.

 

[HotRodZilla]

And since I don't like you... Wait, never mind.
Since you and I so often think alike I am surprised you took that as completely serious. I could care less if our jolly friend from Arizona posts Donkey ****. As long as he is here and happy, I am happy. I missed him and his twisted sense of humor when he abandoned us. Although, I prefer his pics of Salma Hayek to the donkey pics.

I was more or less reflecting that the more things change, the more they stay the same. Usually it takes a few more posts for a thread to unravel though.

You missed the sarcasm. If I have to start drawing maps for you like Wheaties, it's gonna be a loooooooooong year.

 

[Redfish Hunter]

I'm having a slow day. It might have something to do with the bacon grease I am using for engine oil. It slows me down in the cold weather.

 

[HotRodZilla]

A man who has lived in the city all his life decides that he want to be a farmer. He walks to a farmers house to buy some animals for his farm.

He tells the farmer, "First I'm going to need a chicken."

"OK" says the farmer. "But we don't call them chickens around here we call them Poulets."

"OK then, I'll need a Poulet." says the city man.

The farmer says, "That will be $10." So the city guy pays the farmer $10.

Then the city guy says, "Next I'll need a donky."

"OK" says the farmer "But we don't call them Donkeys around here, we call them *****."

The city guy says, "Alright, I'll need to buy an *** then."

The farmer says, "That will be $50." So the guy from the city pays him $50.

The city guy says, "Now I'll need a Rooster."

"OK" says the farmer. "But we don't call them Roosters around here, we call them Cocks."

"Well then," says the city guy "I'll need to buy a ****."

"That'll be $10." says the farmer.

As the city guy is getting ready to leave the farmer says "Oh by the way. Every 5 miles that *** stops and won't walk any farther unless you scratch him behind the ears."

"Ok, no problem. Thank for letting me know." says the city guy and he heads off down the road.

5 miles later the *** stops and won't walk any farther. Just then a lady is walking by and sees the man stopped along the side of the road with all these animals. So she stops and asks, "Do you need any help?"

The guy answers, "Yeah, will you hold my **** and Poulet while I scratch my ***?"

 

[beemerdons]

And since I don't like you... Wait, never mind.

Since you and I so often think alike I am surprised you took that as completely serious. I could care less if our jolly friend from Arizona posts Donkey ****. As long as he is here and happy, I am happy. I missed him and his twisted sense of humor when he abandoned us. Although, I prefer his pics of Salma Hayek to the donkey pics.

I was more or less reflecting that the more things change, the more they stay the same. Usually it takes a few more posts for a thread to unravel though.

You missed the sarcasm. If I have to start drawing maps for you like Wheaties, it's gonna be a loooooooooong year.

Did someone mention Salma Hayek?

 

[HotRodZilla]

And since I don't like you... Wait, never mind.

Since you and I so often think alike I am surprised you took that as completely serious. I could care less if our jolly friend from Arizona posts Donkey ****. As long as he is here and happy, I am happy. I missed him and his twisted sense of humor when he abandoned us. Although, I prefer his pics of Salma Hayek to the donkey pics.

I was more or less reflecting that the more things change, the more they stay the same. Usually it takes a few more posts for a thread to unravel though.

You missed the sarcasm. If I have to start drawing maps for you like Wheaties, it's gonna be a loooooooooong year.

Did someone mention Salma Hayek?

Jeebus