Am I out of line? Getting my 16 year old his first ride.

[erixun]

A bit of background.... I am married, a couple of kids, and I ride. My wife sort of rides, she has her own motorcycle a CTX700. My oldest is married and moved out. My youngest is 16 and lives at home. He recently had a spontaneous pneumothorax and was hospitalized for ten days to get it repaired. In doing so, I missed NAFO and we learned that because of this condition he will never be able to go scuba diving, and possibly his aspirations of joining the military might be in jeopardy as well. This left the other thing he has expressed to me that he wanted to do. Ride a motorcycle.

So, with the medical bills, (high deductible insurance etc) I did not think I could afford to get him a brand new bike, so I started a gofundme account - which goes against my normal character but that is another story this is for his benefit. In the past few days it has raised some cash, not as much as I hoped, but it is still going so who knows.

Anyway - now you know the back story. This is happening because of the gofundme thing, I am stoked, my kid is excited, and my wife.... well lets just say is less than happy with me at the moment. She thinks it is reckless of me to get a 16 year old a street bike. I am putting him through a new rider safety course next week. He has found a Honda CBR300 that he wants.

I thought I would put the question out there to the collective. Is this reckless? Am I wrong, or out of line on this?

I started riding at 14, on the street on a small ST90. I know the times and traffic were different. With the things taken away in his life recently, I wanted to fulfill a dream.

Blast away - do not hold back, it is not too late to alter the course of things, just looking for opinions from other fathers.

 

[HotRodZilla]

MNFJR05 showed up at NAFO with his 17yo son. They rode a SS1K together. He is a good rider. Getting your 16yo is not reckless. Giving your sin a bike and never training him or giving him guidance is reckless. If he wants to do it, sooner or later, he's gonna ride a MC, with or without your blessing. You might as well help him into it and be able to ensure he is learning the things he should learn.

I say, good job. You two will have a ton if fun. You still need to find ways to not get too sideways with your wife. A mad woman is a bad thing to have around the house.

Also, you should post that gofundme link. JSNS.

 

[Geezer]

Like most decisions in life, it depends.

How dangerous are the roads and traffic where you live?

How mature is your son for his age?

How much will he actually ride and with whom?

and the list goes on......

 

[MCRIDER007]

I think it depends on the individual. I bought my 16 year old daughter a Ninja 250 as a learner bike, she moved up to a Katana 750 a year later. I taught her to ride, she took the MSF course to get her license. I thought she was a very good rider and fully capable of keeping up with me on day trips and a couple of overnight trips but she usually had to ride around home by herself since none of her friends had a motorcycle.. Sadly her motorcycle riding ended a couple of years later after she was diagnosed with Diabetis 1 which led to erratic blood sugar levels and sometimes a lack of concentration which then resulted in a couple of close calls on sweeping corners. She never crashed but lost her confidence in being able to control the motorcycle under all circumstances and decided to quit riding until her medical condition improved, a decision I supported.

 

[JamesW]

supervised riding (with dad) would be my requirement, rides at the correct level of difficulty, monitor and adjust as necessary. Kids will grow regardless of parents. We tutor as best we can. Turned 18 I enlisted, not much mom and dad could do but worry.

 

[majicmaker]

^^^What Zilla said^^^

 

[Redfish Hunter]

I am going to have to agree with Zilla. Again.

A teenager is a resourceful and devious creature. He WILL find a way to get on a motorcycle if he wants it badly enough. Better to train him, educate him, and equip him. This will also allow YOU to control the usage of the bike if he steps out of line.

As the OP says, times have changed, more traffic, more dangers, all of which is true. But I started riding Dad's '84 GoldWing in the yard when I was 14. He would put me on the back of it and we would ride to a local grocery store after hours. I would ride and practice in that parking lot until Dad got tired of watching me. I had my motorcycle endorsement at 15. I did not total that bike until I was 25.

You cannot keep them in a bubble. The best you can do is to teach them what is Right and hope for the best.

 

[erixun]

MNFJR05 showed up at NAFO with his 17yo son. They rode a SS1K together. He is a good rider. Getting your 16yo is not reckless. Giving your sin a bike and never training him or giving him guidance is reckless. If he wants to do it, sooner or later, he's gonna ride a MC, with or without your blessing. You might as well help him into it and be able to ensure he is learning the things he should learn.
I say, good job. You two will have a ton if fun. You still need to find ways to not get too sideways with your wife. A mad woman is a bad thing to have around the house.

Also, you should post that gofundme link. JSNS.

Here is the link for those that might be interested: https://www.gofundme.com/2hd2j3vg

And the sideways thing with the wife is why I am asking this.... trying to ease my conscience a bit I guess. I did this without discussing it with anyone. And I am starting to pay for it a bit.

And the supervised riding is a definite, with the sena 10 for sure.

 

[Redfish Hunter]

I have all sorts of advice on how to handle a belligerent, disobedient wife who does not understand who is in charge. You must establish your position as the Alpha Male. You must establish dominance. Let me explain how this...

Sorry, my wife just called. She says I have to quit playing on the computer with my "FJR Facebook Friends". I gotta go before she gets mad.

 

[FJRay]

My youngest daughter started with dirt bikes on our property and when I thought she was ready and mom reluctantly agreed we got her a EX500 Kawasaki. All was well until she left for school and didn't make her share of the payment. I sold the bike. If your son is ready to ride then go for it but keep a few strings attached.

 

[phroenips]

And the sideways thing with the wife is why I am asking this.... trying to ease my conscience a bit I guess. I did this without discussing it with anyone. And I am starting to pay for it a bit.

I would recommend swallowing any pride that may be there, sit down with your wife without any distractions (turn off the TV, put down any phones, tablets, etc), and tell her you're sorry for forging ahead with this without discussing it with her first. *AND* (don't say "but"), explain the importance of this to you, and more importantly, your child. Be sure to fully explain all the precautions you plan to take, and that doing it with full supervision will ensure the safest possible outcome.

 

[Pterodactyl]

Leverage is all important in shaping human behavior. If you buy your son a motorcycle you'll have a great deal of leverage in shaping his motorcycling behavior. If he violates your well articulated rules or rides like an ass, then you ground the bike. Without the bike your leverage is limited to pure parental "Do what I say" influence... and that grows weak with a teenager. As stated in an earlier post, you need to assess your son's character, maturity and physical and emotional development, and go from there. It is also important for you to gain his mom's at least grudging consent. You should consider the ramifications on your entire family should your son injure himself. Much to ponder.

 

[LKLD]

Well, I for one, feel your pain, anxiety, and apprehension. So many things go through your head, at least it did mine. Was I leading her to a motorcycle accident? Could my love of riding, cause the death of my daughter? My thoughts went wild, but I forced myself to settle down and get a grip.

When my 18 year old daughter said she was getting a bike with my blessing or without, I knew I had some decisions to make. Of course, there was only really one decision, that I had to help her.

Like you, I got her the basic training. Then came the bike, a Ninja 300, which is perfect for learning, and not too fast. Then many hours of just her and I on our bikes, 6 months actually. ATGATT was ingrained into her, and she now lives by it. She has become an excellent rider, that anyone here would be happy to ride with, she really rides that good!

I could go on and on, but you can really get some insight into what I went through here https://www.fjrforum.com/forum//index.php/topic/158704-new-riders/ where I somewhat documented my experiences teaching both my daughter AND my wife to ride.

There is light at the end of the tunnel, and the other end will bring you more joy than you can imagine.

I look forward to hearing of your of your son's progress!

All the best,

Rob

 

[Mudslide Miller]

Not much I could add that hasn't already been said. My son wanted a Gixxer 6 at 16 and I reluctantly agreed as long as he took the MSF course in order to get his M/C endorsement. I knew this was way more bike than he should have been starting out on but he had been riding my dirt bikes and quads for many years and already had the basic skills of riding. Like others said, make him ride with you initially and enforce your parental rights if he rides irresponsibly. Don't let him ride at night initially either. Some states have restrictions on that anyways until they are 18.

 

[Teehaml]

I say go for it and spend some quality time with your kid and make some memories.

Maybe if more dad's have done that there wouldn't be so many screwed up kid's in life.

 

[08FJR4ME]

Might I recomend starting off with a dual sport bike. I may get slammed for this but IMO you need to have some dirt experience first. This will give him an advantage on the street. As others have said a lot depends on the maturity of your son.

Dave

 

[TripperMike]

I would agree with all that has been posted so far. The only thing I can add is when your son does get his license and bike is plan a nice day ride somewhere for all three of you. I think in short order, your wife too will swell with pride and feel a whole new way of bonding with her son. Remember it's just not you who can influence how he rides, but her as well. And quite honestly I think any teenage boy would think it's pretty cool that he can go riding bikes with his mom. I think your wife will also come to appreciate this special and unique bond. You have a very special thing here and you are blessed. Enjoy it.

Mike

 

[hppants]

You might find this thread informative.

https://www.fjrforum.com/forum//index.php/topic/158751-my-nephew-has-been-bitten-by-the-bug/?hl=%2Bnephew+%2Bbitten

I absolutely realize that a nephew is not the same thing as a son. However, as it has been quite some time now, I can tell you that my nephew is an excellent and VERY safe rider. He is ATGATT (despite strong peer pressure to the contrary).

I think you can have your cake and eat it too.

Edit - I should add that after my crash in Colorado last year, I sat down with my nephew and told him (in no uncertain terms) exactly what I did and why I crashed. I wanted him to hopefully learn something from my own stupidity.

 

[mcatrophy]

There's a quote something like "It's easier to go ahead and do something and apologise afterwards than to get permission beforehand". In my experience, that's ok unless you're apologising to the wife. However ...

My only real comment, like JamesW above, insist that for the first few rides, make him follow you, don't let him out on his own.

He is less likely to do something an invincible 16-year-old might want to try, your Better Half will feel that you are at least doing all you can to keep him safe. And yes, all the formal training you can get him to do. If possible, take the courses with him, he'll feel better about it and is more likely to take stuff in than if he thought he knew it all already and didn't concentrate.

Discuss each ride and training session immediately afterwards, while his euphoria and adrenalin levels are high, it'll help him absorb it. Preferably without your BH present, she'll worry when you discuss the danger stuff.

Good luck to all three of you.