And now for something completely different

[PhilMills]

I like how the CGI render has the front calipers grabbing maybe 1/2" of that disc.

The owner's manual reads like a magical fairytale of motorcycle ownership. Nothing ever has to be checked, the bike magically limits itself during the factory break-in period, it detects exactly what oil you're using and somehow knows if you're being naughty and feeding it synthetic during the break-in...

...and the bike will shut itself down if it doesn't like what you're doing (like going beyond 500 miles for the first oil-change). That sounds safe.

"You must use ONLY Mobil-1 15W50 Synthetic oil or the Motorcycle will refuse to run." Yeah, that's great. Sucks to be me taking this bike 'round the world and all I can find in the middle of Africa is Valvoline 10w50 dino or if Mobil-1 changes the formulation on their 15W50 Synthetic one day...

Oh, and you can't do your own brake-work because it requires a "mechanics key" (special security bits that the vendor won't sell to lay-people, only the approved service priesthood).

This may be a collection of the worst ideas ever to show up in somebody's 1984-esqe control-freak engineering seminar. Who, exactly, do they think would put up with that nonsense from a motorcycle? I'd be afraid to take this thing down the block lest it suddenly decide it no longer wanted to run!

 

[PhilMills]

I had to email these guys to figure out how nuts they thought we'd all have to be to buy a bike that'd shut down if we don't happen to have a steady source of Mobil-1 15W50 Synthetic when our oil change comes due in the middle of the Sahara.

Their response, edited to remove the senseless line-breaks that infest their site:

Generally speaking, this bike is not for everyone. The bike is for those who expect the highest quality and are willing to adhere to those standards.
Some people will want to put cheap oil in their bikes and since we have a warranty twice the longest in the industry we need to be sure that the bike cannot be abused beyond its capacity and so we have it aware of oil quality, heat buildups etc. This assures that the bike will last a ridiculously long time.

Changes in oil formulations are dealt with by the software updates. It is just like your computer at home. You get updates by plugging your bike into the internet. If your bike is going to far fetched locations, you hook it in from that country and we send you the update applicable for that location.

In the future we shall have a special oil filter that removes carbon and acids from the oil. This will take at least a couple of years to offer. We need to do a lot of testing first. That will hopefully allow us to expand the oils we shall allow.

Software update. In the middle of nowhere. :blink: Two words: Crack Monkeys.

These guys are going to have a lot of fun when they meet the Magnusen-Moss Warranty Act, I think.

 

[greywolf]

looks like a kids toy