Beemerdon Compilation (Put all your BD jokes here)

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Beemerdon walked into a crowded Irish pub, waving his Colt pistol and yelled,
"I have a .45 Colt with an eight shot clip and I want to know who's been screwing my wife?"

A voice from the back of the room called out...

"You'll need more ammo" !
LAUGH-OUT-LOUD FUNNY!!!

Sorry, Don. :finger:

 
That cannot be beemerdons' boat. It does not appear to have been crashed...
Sorry Don. You know I could not kick you when you were down, but now that you seem to be back up... Hugs and Kisses.
Well the wedding was on the shores of the Columbia River in Longview Washington so it is quite possible Don was drunk and fell out of the alcohol infused ship and it washed ashore. I can vouch for the beer, it was good.

 
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I call ********....Beemerdon can't move that fast and he sure can't dance!
Baloney! You Guys want to know how to tell if a Dane is lying, their lips will be moving! Video of majicmaker Vic and Papa Chuy at the Bahia Playa Azul Club in Miami, Florida last New Year's Eve! JSNS, Baile-Fiesta-Bebidas-mas Cervezas y mas Tequila; Arriba -AiAi! Los Borracheros!

 
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IRISHMAN'S FIRST DRINK WITH HIS SON

While reading an article last night about fathers and sons, memories came flooding back to the time I took me son out for his first pint.

Off we went to our local pub only two blocks from the cottage.

I got him a Guinness. He didn't like it, so I drank it.

Then I got him a Kilkenny's.

He didn't like that either, so I drank it.

Finally, I thought he might like some Harp Lager.

He didn't.

I drank it.

I thought maybe he'd like whiskey better than beer so we tried a Jameson's.

Nope!

In desperation, I had him try that rare Redbreast, Ireland's finest.

He wouldn't even smell it.

What could I do but drink it!

By the time I realized he just didn't like to drink, I was so ****-faced I could hardly push his stroller back home.

 
IRISHMAN'S FIRST DRINK WITH HIS SON
While reading an article last night about fathers and sons, memories came flooding back to the time I took me son out for his first pint.

Off we went to our local pub only two blocks from the cottage.

I got him a Guinness. He didn't like it, so I drank it.

Then I got him a Kilkenny's.

He didn't like that either, so I drank it.

Finally, I thought he might like some Harp Lager.

He didn't.

I drank it.

I thought maybe he'd like whiskey better than beer so we tried a Jameson's.

Nope!

In desperation, I had him try that rare Redbreast, Ireland's finest.

He wouldn't even smell it.

What could I do but drink it!

By the time I realized he just didn't like to drink, I was so ****-faced I could hardly push his stroller back home.
Do my Fine FJR Forum Friends see what a pack of lying Viking *******s that the Danes are. I bought my Son Seth a Smithwick's not a Guinness! JSNS, aye!



 
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Don, have you told her you want her lately? Are you one of the good ones?

Salma Hayek: Hollywood studios 'don't want me'

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Salma Hayek says that while Hollywood studios may not be calling as much lately, she's staying plenty busy.

"I think they don't want me but I don't really care," said the Oscar-nominated actress. Hayek produced and voices a character in the animated film adaptation of Lebanese writer Kahlil Gibran's 1923 book of prose poetry, "The Prophet." It's a passion project, opening in U.S. theatres on Aug. 7, that she said was partially inspired by her 7-year-old daughter Valentina Pinault.

"It's meaningful. It's hopeful. It's uplifting. It's respectful. It honors children," Hayek said. "Many people tell me, 'But they are not going to like poetry.' Children love poetry. That's why we have the nursery rhymes and then we don't give it to them anymore. It's their first language. They think in metaphor."

Hayek hasn't been as much of a red carpet fixture as she once was in the entertainment world. She said she's been busy with charity events.

"I've been getting awards from different places for the humanitarian work and I've had a lot of movies come out. Then there is my husband (French billionaire Francois-Henri Pinault) also who takes me to many places. There's that stuff too and I've just been busy with life," she said.

Sitting in a long sleeve striped button-up Gucci wrap dress, the "Frida" actress scrunched her face to display lines when asked about turning 49 next month.


"No Botox yet, you can see," she said, adding that her 40s had been a "great adventure."

"You don't look as bad as you thought you were going to look. You don't feel as old as you thought you were going to feel. It's a myth. Forties are full of life," she said. "The only thing that is tough about the 40s is when you haven't had a child. This is awful."

She added, "And the men today are terrible because when you are coming to the 40s they ... start going away. But you know what? (Not) the good ones."

 
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Pterodactyl I'd love to DO Salma again, make it an even once! Crawl a mile over broken glass for Señorita Hayek, AJ would give up young boys!

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