HER diary vs HIS diary

[FatNakedGuy]

HER DIARY:

Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird.

We had made plans to meet at a bar to have a drink.

I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment on it.

Conversation wasn't flowing, so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk.

He agreed, but he didn't say much.

I asked him what was wrong; he said, 'Nothing.'

I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset.

He said he wasn't upset, that it had nothing to do with me, and not to worry about it.

On the way home, I told him that I loved him.

He smiled slightly, and kept driving. I can't explain his behavior.

I don't know why he didn't say, 'I love you, too.'

When we got home, I felt as if I had lost him completely, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore.

He just sat there quietly, and watched TV.

He continued to seem distant and absent.

Finally, with silence all around us, I decided to go to bed.

About 15 minutes later, he came to bed.

To my surprise, he responded to my caress, and we made love.

But I still felt that he was distracted, and his thoughts were somewhere else.

He fell asleep - I cried.

I don't know what to do.

I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else.

My life is a disaster.

HIS DIARY:

My motorcycle wouldn't start today, can't figure it out, but at least I got laid.

 

[greg97224]

Damn, that's funny, and true.

 

[dustyrains]

Made me smile. Sounds about right.

 

[jekirby]

Man, I thought this was going no where fast.......funny.

 

[Auburn]

:lol:

here is another along the same line:

[SIZE=12pt]Perception (Adult Joke)[/SIZE]

[SIZE=12pt]Two Women were chatting in the office.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=10pt][/SIZE]

[SIZE=12pt]Woman 1: I had sex last night, did you?[/SIZE]

[SIZE=10pt][/SIZE]

[SIZE=12pt]Woman 2: Yes.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=10pt][/SIZE]

[SIZE=12pt]Woman 1: Was it good?[/SIZE]

[SIZE=10pt][/SIZE]

[SIZE=12pt]Woman 2: No, it was a disaster... My husband came home, ate his dinner in three minutes, got on top of me, finished having sex in five minutes, rolled over and fell asleep in two minutes. How was yours?[/SIZE]

[SIZE=10pt][/SIZE]

[SIZE=12pt]Woman 1: Oh it was amazing! My husband came home and took me out to a romantic dinner. After dinner we walked for an hour. When we came home he lit the candles around the house and we had an hour of foreplay. We then had an hour long session of fantastic sex and afterwards talked for an hour. It was like a fairytale![/SIZE]

At the same time, their husbands were talking at work.

Husband 1: You wanted sex last night, how was it?

[SIZE=10pt][/SIZE]

[SIZE=12pt]Husband 2: Great. I came home, dinner was on the table, I ate, screwed my wife and fell asleep. It was great! What about you?[/SIZE]

[SIZE=10pt][/SIZE]

[SIZE=12pt]Husband 1: It was horrible. I came home, there's no dinner because they cut the electricity because I hadn't paid the bill; so I had to take my wife out to dinner which was so expensive that I didn't have money left for a cab. We had to walk home which took an hour - and when we got home remember there was no electricity so I had to light ******* candles all over the house! I was so angry that I couldn't get it up for an hour and then I couldn't come for another hour. After I finally did, I was so aggravated that I couldn't fall asleep and my wife was jabbering away for another hour.[/SIZE][SIZE=10pt][/SIZE]