How to convice the GF it's OK to commute on the FJR.

[radman]

I don't think I could go back to commuting in the cage, and my wife knows and respects that.For commuting, though I haven't added them myself yet, many here recommend loud-ass horns, modulating headlights and tail lights.

I haven't done the man horns yet, but they're on the short list now. 1)I've run outta **** to bolt on, and 2)4 lane changes into me this week-time to get the noyze on.

 

[Randy]

Both of you take a day off and simulate the commute with her riding pillion. As you do the ride, demonstrate to her the defensive and avoidance tactics that years and years of safe riding have given you. Show her all the neat tricks (and explain 'why' for each) like watching the drivers of the cars around you (looking in rear view mirrors, reaching for turn signal, distracted drivers that are putting on make up, talking on the phone, smoking a cigarette and drinking a cup of coffee all at the same time), not riding in blind spots, position in the lane in different situations, etc.

Also, during the commute, based on the roads you mention, once you get off the turnpike, traffic will only be going 20 mph, so, how much trouble could you get into?

Where is your final destination?

And, if all that fails, there's the real easy line... 'my motorcycles were around way before you were'.

 

[Malve]

Everybody is barking up the wrong tree. If you try to convince her that it is safe, your argument will be either proved wrong (if you have a mishap or worse) or pending for ever. You will be swimming upstream for ever on this one in part because her concerns are VALID!

When someone brings up the danger/risks of riding I agree and beat them to the punch by acknowledging that even with years of experience, ABS and the like and defensive driving... you are still vulnerable.

How's about...?

"Honey, I love you and acknowlege and appreciate your concern, but please respect that as a grown ups we make our choices. This is a choice that I am comfortable with and would prefer to have your support."..."Now make some dinner ******!"

OK maybe not that last part.

 

[Cdogman]

Everybody is barking up the wrong tree. If you try to convince her that it is safe, your argument will be either proved wrong (if you have a mishap or worse) or pending for ever. You will be swimming upstream for ever on this one in part because her concerns are VALID!
When someone brings up the danger/risks of riding I agree and beat them to the punch by acknowledging that even with years of experience, ABS and the like and defensive driving... you are still vulnerable.

How's about...?

"Honey, I love you and acknowlege and appreciate your concern, but please respect that as a grown ups we make our choices. This is a choice that I am comfortable with and would prefer to have your support."..."Now make some dinner ******!"

OK maybe not that last part.

I think you could also try JUST the last part. Tell her "Yo, Im a valley walker and its bad out there but I am the baddest so I aint skeered and I have that thar helmet for me skull"

On a serious side. Her concerns are valid. But you need to set a presidence and aknowledge them and do what you want if you are gonna hang with her long. Else, surrender your balls and live your life at her command

 

[exskibum]

The GF gets the "I do what I want or I stop paying the rent around this MF and you can GTF OUT!!"
Tell her what you are going to do and you are happy she is down wit that

:lol: :clapping: :lol:

Robin -- what happened to your long signature giving context to that response?!? :lol: :lol:

BTW -- about time you put another shock on that overburdened Feejer. Congrats on a good choice. Now install it!

 

[2WheelTiger]

Give in to her and then hope your FJR brings in enough cash for you to buy a new set of gonads.

 

[rockmurf]

I agree with Radman, she is your girlfriend for ______sake. Do what you want and either hit her with the brick or tell her to hit the bricks. You will find out you eventually lose your stones after a period of marriage, why are you speeding up the process?

 

[OrangevaleFJR]

one word and flowers.

The word? I'll take it from Archie Bunker, "Stifle." as in "it's not your decision honey and if you think you can take my freedom now then take a hike because I am who I am and if you don't like it now I know you're going to be a pain in my ass IF we ever get married."

In other words, set expectations early.

Then give her some flowers sometime or other...not associated with this discussion. Flowers are always nice.

 

[fjrchooser]

Because you said girlfriend I chose the brick thing. However , if the wife started that crap now I'd quit work so the commute wouldn't be an issue. Then I'd go on a long road trip until she got over it or divorced me....

 

[rivgar]

I would be very careful here.

First she does not want you to commute on your bike.

Next there will be some M/C accident on the news and she will tell you she wants you to sell your bike, its too dangerous.

Then she wants you to sell your guitar because she feels it is taking attention away from her.

On and on the sad story goes.

It is possible that she is truly cares about your well being or it is also possible that she is slowly instilling her will on you in an attempt to control you, to make you exactly as she wants you to be.

Either way, it is going to be problematic unless she totally understands that what you do is all part of the way you are and it's part of the package.

I would be very wary if I were you.

My principal at the school I work at always asks about my summer adventures when I come back to school. Everytime I tell him where i went he says "I would love to do something like that" but my wife won't let me have a bike. He used to have a bike. His wife is very pretty but no woman is that pretty, at least in my book. I like him, he is very supportive and a nice guy, but I lose a little respect for him because he allows someone else to run his life and his future.

 

[exskibum]

I believe you've NAILED it, rivgar.

 

[antvq]

Well, lot's of good opinions on this. Actually the GF really is a good egg. And she LOVES to ride, I think she is just genuinely concerned about my safety on the roads I have to take. Everyday there is are at least several accidents on those roads that make the evening news. She isn't even thrilled with me driving an SUV on them. :blink:

I think I'll take the approach that Malve suggests..."Honey, I love you and acknowledge and appreciate your concern, but please respect that as a grown ups we make our choices. This is a choice that I am comfortable with and would prefer to have your support."..."Now make some dinner ******!"

And I think I will leave the last part out. Man those Philly chicks can be MEAN

 

[vectervp1]

As alot of others have said, you should tell her you understand her concerns, but this is a decision you have chosen to make. Don't blow her off or tell her to take a hike. She's showing concern for you because commuting on a bike is dangerous. Lots of idiots are out there drinking the latte's and putting on their makeup on the way to work. Hell, some of them are reading the freaking paper! If you choose to ride to work, then you accept those dangers. She's just telling you she thinks its unsafe. Acknowledge that, and make your own decision. Otherwise you might as well take a good look at her purse because that's where your nuts will be living.

 

[cougar8000]

I voted for the brick, but as you say she might be a real McCoy and really worries about you. Then do what Malve said, but for god sake don't give your nuggets that early.

Also, if she is worried you driving the SUV as well, she might be one of those who needs to take a chill pill on a regular basis and the only way it will work out is if you either learn to ignore it or move on.

 

[OrangevaleFJR]

Well, lot's of good opinions on this. Actually the GF really is a good egg. And she LOVES to ride, I think she is just genuinely concerned about my safety on the roads I have to take. Everyday there is are at least several accidents on those roads that make the evening news. She isn't even thrilled with me driving an SUV on them. :blink:
I think I'll take the approach that Malve suggests..."Honey, I love you and acknowledge and appreciate your concern, but please respect that as a grown ups we make our choices. This is a choice that I am comfortable with and would prefer to have your support."..."Now make some dinner ******!"

And I think I will leave the last part out. Man those Philly chicks can be MEAN

sounds like a decent plan. Tell us how she reacts :jerry:

 

[Joe2Lmaker]

I Googled "Horsham, PA". Unless your commute is to Birdsboro, PA, I'm guessing your odds for a safe commute are better in a cage.

If you want to argue that the economy of riding outweighs the safety of driving, good luck. What do you [SIZE=12pt]want[/SIZE] to do?

You want to do something your girlfriend doesn't want you to do. You can't rationalize what you want to do, so do you give in to her? Taking a poll isn't going to give you the answer. I've heard that some relationships can work with a dominant female. I believe it's called a matriarchal system. If that's what you want...

That's too far for you to commute in a skirt anyway.

 

[drew231506]

Can't vote...no option fits...

One of these relationships is all it takes to learn what you dont want in a relationship.

 

[toophast]

Hey all you "sensitive types" this is Not2phast, swmbo to toophast. I agree with the guys. Acknowledge her concerns but let her know it's your decision. Then go buy her one of those little 50 cc bikes with the training wheels. She'll soon find out how great it is to have her own bike and refuse to ride bitch ever again, unless for her riding 2 up is forplay. I like my Toophast's quote (although I'm sure it was borrowed from someone else)..."I'm leaving this world like I came in, kicking and screaming and covered with blood". It may not be as pretty but it sure is a lot more fun.

 

[Scab]

Dump her and start dating FJRChik. She has her own bike.

 

[madmike2]

How's about...?"Honey, I love you and acknowlege and appreciate your concern, but please respect that as a grown ups we make our choices. This is a choice that I am comfortable with and would prefer to have your support."

Gunny10! Don't start down the "dark side" of having to explain every option, freedom and decsion. Either she trusts you as a partner or she has decided SHE knows best and must decide because of your errant reasoning.

I would be very careful here.First she does not want you to commute on your bike.Next there will be some M/C accident on the news and she will tell you she wants you to sell your bike, it too dangerous.Then she wants you to sell your guitar because she feels it is taking attention away from her.On and on the sad story goes.It is possible that she is truly cares about your well being or it is also possible that she is slowly instilling her will on you in an attempt to control you, to make you exactly as she wants you to be.Either way, it is going to be problematic unless she totally understands that what you do is all part of the way you are and it's part of the package.I would be very wary if I were you. My principal at the school I work at always asks about my summer adventures when I come back to school. Everytime I tell him where i went he says "I would love to do something like that" but my wife won't let me have a bike. He use to have a bike. He wife is very pretty but no woman is that pretty, at least in my book. I like him, he is very supportive and a nice guy, but I lose a little respect for him because he allows someone else to run his life and his future.

BTDT and have the emotional and financial scars to prove it. If you need another voice so you can hear it in stereo, I think the "lovely and beautiful Ex-Mrs. Madmike2" is still available.

It'll take years, but if you begin to acquiesce and waffle on this, eventually it will be giving in to everything as she defines it. I may still be bitter, but I'm also brutally honest. Take a good look at how her mother treats her father.....if its the same way, then you have some decisions to make concerning you future. In the end, its your decision alone but my vote is the one that isn't in your post: Adios!

If riding is one of your passions, find someone who will share the freedom and experience or at least understand it is part of what makes you the person you are.