I can not tell a lie...or can I?

[FriscoJim]

Had bikes growing up and sold mine (needed cash) right before meeting my ex - 10 years and a bike was not an option with her. Divorced and bought a CBR 600 and haven't looked back. Met my present wife and found out she loves to ride - started her with a Virago 535 and now has her own 2001 1100 VStar with 32k on it. It has been 11 years since we've been together. With that said I would not "spring" it on her - decide up front what your priorities are. Also I have to agree that an FJR is not a good first bike. Might try renting a bike for a weekend and see how she likes it. If she won't even consider that option I would say you have no chance in hell of getting her to concede. Unless you are a masochist I don't think the "hell of a fight" would be worth it.

 

[06FJRAEPILOT]

first bike a 1300cc  650 lb monster ......  maybe start a little smaller ? on the girl ,tell her to wake up and stop be so damm selfish. this just might be a blessing if shes does not want you on a bike whats next ?  no golf, no fishing, no football on sundays , etc.

My first bike was a 2053 cc eight-hundred twenty or so pound beast! I say go for it! Use your head and don't let yourself get outside the box. Easy to do with the FJR cause it will get up and go!

Take the motorcycle safety course immediately.

The reason I say go for it is you don't want to come back in a month or so and upgrade. Even though I bought the largest V-twin production bike at the time, 04, I still came back within five months and bought the FJR because I needed more "get-up-and-go!

My 06 "AE" is on order cause I's an upgrading fool!

 

[06FJRAEPILOT]

Your first bike should be one that won't matter too much when you drop it. The same cannot be said of first wives. Most of us did drop our first bikes. Practicing the necessary skills to become a safe rider will be alot easier on a lighter, less top heavy bike. Then when you graduate to the DREAM MACHINE you can let your lady learn to ride the little bike. Yes, I know.. but it might be a different lady by then.

Derek

Doesn't sound like his lady will be riding any bike let alone allow him to ride..... Not bad advice for someone who has a lady that will ride....

 

[bikepoor]

I cant believe the response! Thanks for all the advice folks...I really appreciate it. I posted that on Saturday just before I left work. With the great computer and broadband here at work (RV dealership) I dropped dial up at home. Now my surfing consists of company time (hey, I'm salary, they get it back out of me).

History:

When I was a little kid (youngest of four) I was fascinated with motorcycles. My siblings...being the loving family members they were, would yell "motorcycle glen, motorcycle glen", where I would run to the couch and look out the picture window (like a dog) with a follow up "aaalll gonnnnne"

Best present: Dad bought me a Yamaha 60 trail bike when I was 9. I loved that bike. Of course I was out till 10 at night one time and he wrapped a chain on it for two weeks...thought I was going to die.

In the Army at 18...wohooo 1985! I was buying bike mags and the V-Max was tearing up the streets. Recieved one quote on insurance and scrapped that idea.

1992? Put money down on a V-max. The girlfriend at the time threw such a fit I went and took my money back....bought a huge Snap-on tool box instead (should have bought the bike).

The rest of the years? Just didnt feel I was responsible enough not to get into trouble on one. Now at almost 40 it is time. It is something I have wanted my whole life and it just feels right...I'm older, responsible, make more money, etc.

Why the FJR:

My brother bought a new HD ultra classic about 2 years ago (his first bike). All of our friends either have HDs or Indians. When I

 

[RadioHowie]

Uh-oh....looks like the future Mrs. Buzz Kill found out and cut the poor bastage off in mid sentence.

 

[Geezer]

Still not sure the FJR is right for you until you get some experience on something a little smaller, but in any case, buy a bike. You can get yourself something well used, big enough to be fun, and running well enough to be reliable for about the same price as a deposit on the FJR. Ride it for a season and then get the FJR of your choice. By then the problem with your girl friend will have worked out one way or the other.

 

[bikepoor]

Ahh Crap, wrong button.

Anyway:

When I first became serious early this year about buying a bike I thought about finally getting a V-Max. Researched and figured...not the bike for me. Ok, so do I get a big twin to cruise for long day trips...always liked sport bikes too...still kind of want that 145 horse from the 1985 Max. I just happend by chance to run across info on the FJR. The more I read the more I was convinced this is the bike for me. I can ride fairly comfortable on long day rides with the HDs. I get the horsepower of the 85 Max and some of a sport bike handling. I have been net surfing and reading the FJR forums for months now.

Ok...when did I start this? I have been trying to finnish this post for the last 3 hours. Maybe I should just bite the bullet and get Broadband at home.

I am convinced 100% this is the bike. Still trying to decide A or AE...leaning away from the AE. As far as being to much bike? Yea, my brother dumped the new HD in the garage the first night...but hasnt had a problem after that. It is all about respect. If I am working on 120VAC I don't fear it....I just have a lot of respect for it. There is a difference.

As far as the girlfriend...I think this is the plan.

Friday I am going to put a deposite down on the order. I am not going to tell her. Early next spring I will pick up a small used street bike from my dealer with the understanding I dont want to take a big hit when I turn it back in on the FJR. So, for her, I bought a cheap, not to scary bike (meanwhile I pick up some practice time) she throws a fit...but not to big. It will give her time to adjust and then by the time my FJR comes it wont be a first time shock. "The dealer had this great deal on my dream bike...happend to have one on the lot...blah,blah,blah".

I appreciate morals...I really do. But in life sometimes you just have to play the game. If it sounds conniving...it was women that taught me the ropes. No offense to forum members.

Thanks again for all the great feedback and next year perhaps I can hook up with a few fellow riders and laugh about the trials and tribulations of buying a FJR.

 

[ZZR12]

hi bikepoor,

First off, I wouldn't try just springing it on her as a suprise when the bike arrives. If you're committed to the relationship, which you must be or else you wouldn't be fretting over this conflict, then you have two things to figure out, in this order:

1) Will she ever "come around" and accept you riding a motorcycle?

2) If no, which is more important to you?

My wife was totally against me taking up riding at 38; got spitting mad whenever I mentioned it, and would refuse to talk about.

But she came around. I was patient with her and tried to convince her I was going about it in a mature, safe, responsible manner.

She gave in, and I got a bike. A couple months later and after a few rides as a passenger, she took the MSF and got her own bike! She's now on her third bike: an FJR.

Oh, and as others have said, a brand-new FJR1300 is most definitely NOT a good first bike!!!! Your last post got cut-off, but it sounds like peer influence has some part in your decision - bad! Whatever your brother or friends ride should have no influence on your own choice in this matter.

 

[yanktar]

Two things:

1) the advice on which bike is probably spot-on--for most of us the FJR is far from our first bike--I had been riding 27 years when I got mine.

2) The Relationship. If you have been holding off marrying this woman for 6 years, holding off on house and kids for 6 years, and prefer a bike to those things, then the bike isn't the issue. You've gotten good advice on this score and it all comes down to: Is this woman your Heart's Desire? Is she the one you trust with you deepest yearnigs? Is she the one person you can ABSOLUTELY count on not to stab you in the back? Are you can convinced you can't live without her, or, at least, not happily? If the answer to any of these questions isn't an unqualified "YES!" then she's the wrong woman for you--motorcycle or no.

When I met my wife it was "love me, love my cats" 20 years later I'm still besieged with the furry rat-catchers. But it was "love me, love my motorcycle" and she accepted that. Sometimes she rides with me, not often. What she DOES notice is that when I've been getting grumpier and grumpier and it's a beautiful day, she'll say "Go! Go ride and come back with a smile instead of being a sour-puss!" The ONLY limit is how many bikes I can have--two is the limit and I can live with that--an FJR and an FZ1. I had 3 for a while but it was understood that was only until the Venture Royale was sold--and I don't miss it--I rode it only once after I got the FJR.

We've been together 20 years and married 18. We would have been married after 6 months but circumstances made us wait--not a hesitancy on either of our parts.

Having things in common is not important in a relationship. Having a common moral code is. That's not "morals"--it's the underlying value system that determines your morals and morality. Without this common moral code, you need to go your separate ways.

Does she love you for the things you like about yourself? Do you love her for the things she likes about herself? No? Time to end it.

Can you trust her with your feelings? Can she trust with hers? Is she just being honest that bikes phobicly scare the crap out of her--or is she trying to mold you into her perfect image of a "husband"? If it's not a control thing and she IS your heart's desire, are you being fair to her? If it IS a control thing is THIS what you want in your life? (I've met guys like this--gals too. They are NEVER happy unless they are miserable).

In your heart of hearts, would you rather have her--or a bike? I've known LOTS of women I prefer a bike to. The only one I prefer to a bike has no problem with me riding...If you REALLY don't want the house with the picket fence and the 2.8 kids (or whatever) why are you still in this? Probably inertia, and inertia is NOT the basis of a relationship.

You have some serious $#!t to work out with this lady--the bike is only a symptom. But I have a personal problem with ANYBODY that gives me ultamatae--"go f#@k yourself".

Remember the cynical truism: The one who controls the relationship is the one who has less to lose--in ANY kind of relationship. Does she control it, or do you?

 

[ZZR12]

couple of things:

I am convinced 100% this is the bike. Still trying to decide A or AE...leaning away from the AE. As far as being to much bike? Yea, my brother dumped the new HD in the garage the first night...but hasnt had a problem after that. It is all about respect. If I am working on 120VAC I don't fear it....I just have a lot of respect for it. There is a difference.

Wrong. Respect has very little to do with it for a new rider. "Respect" implies that you already have the knowledge and experience to act appropriately, which new riders do not. When you hit a nasty bump and your untrained wrist accidentally snaps open the throttle, or you overcook a corner with a bad line, your "respect" for the bike is NOT going to save you.

Your brother's HD is actually a BETTER first bike than the FJR (still not very bright though). It's much less powerful, and it carries its weight with a lower center of gravity, both of which make it more forgiving to learn on.

Friday I am going to put a deposite down on the order. I am not going to tell her.

Well, speaking as a married guy currently on Wife 2.0, good luck with a relationship based on deception.

Early next spring I will pick up a small used street bike from my dealer with the understanding I dont want to take a big hit when I turn it back in on the FJR. So, for her, I bought a cheap, not to scary bike (meanwhile I pick up some practice time)

Now you're talking. Just make sure you actually RIDE that used beater, and stay away from the FJR until you're done making the stupid newbie mistakes that all beginning riders make. What are you planning on getting for this "practice bike"? There's lots of good choices...

Better yet, don't be in such a rush.... forget ordering the new FJR. Stick with your plan of getting a used beater to learn on, and put some of the money you save by not ordering the FJR towards buying good riding gear. The FJR isn't going anywhere - it will be ready when you are.

 

[Geezer]

If I am working on 120VAC I don't fear it....I just have a lot of respect for it. There is a difference.

Spent a couple of years as an industrial electrician. Learned a lot about respect for electricity. Still get zapped once in a while working on something around the house.

It is the nature of human beings that we make mistakes. Until you have enough experience to handle road hazards without having to take time to think about how to respond, and you have learned what inputs to make to the controls to achieve the desired result, you will be taking unnecessary risks by riding a heavy and powerful bike.

 

[Just Plain Dave]

Question is; do I tell her now and suffer the consequences till next summer when it's delivered? Or not tell her and just let it appear in the garage one day. I mean, it would still be a huge fight that would last for weeks...but a least I would have the enjoyment of riding while it was happening.
Understand, this not simply going to be an argument...this is going to be a head spinning, spewing pea soup while I clutch the bible kind of thing. Any helpful hints from the people that have been through it?

[SIZE=14pt]OK Mr. Bikepoor, Aren't you sorry you asked? It's going to take a ton of "HAIL MARY'S" and probably a lot of cash to the Pope to overcome all the break-ups and divorces you have set in motion, and you still don't know what to do. Any way you go, you will have Hell to pay.[/SIZE][SIZE=14pt] [/SIZE]

Forget the FJR, drop the girlfriend, Go get a sixpack and start fresh.

 

[bikepoor]

"Wrong. Respect has very little to do with it for a new rider. "Respect" implies that you already have the knowledge and experience to act appropriately, which new riders do not."

I can not argue with that, I stand corrected. Yes, the reason I have respect for 120VAC is from the first couple of times I was bit. Dangerous, yes...but to make a mistake on a bike on the freeway at 70mph is lethal...point taken.

If I keep putting this bike off...I will be flipping dead from old age. I think when I go see the dealer friday I will express the desire for a used reliable bike...perhaps even pick one up now and have a month yet this year to get some experience. As far as my relationship...that is a whole other website/forum. Have you ever seen King of Queens? My girlfriend would chew Carrie up and spit her out. But enough of that...thanks again for all the response!

 

[ionbeam]

Obligatory comment: Find a MSF course and take it ASAP, learn the basics, learn them correctly and address the Motorcycle endorsement for your license.

Smaller, lighter, lower center of gravity, err, the learning machine, not the girlfriend. You will still have a ton of fun. :lol:

Alan

 

[ZZR12]

I can not argue with that, I stand corrected. Yes, the reason I have respect for 120VAC is from the first couple of times I was bit. Dangerous, yes...but to make a mistake on a bike on the freeway at 70mph is lethal...point taken.

Cool; that's all we're saying. Big, heavy, top-heavy, POWERFUL motorcycles like the FJR are not forgiving of mistakes. Smaller, lighter, less-powerful bikes are. You'll be a better rider if you start smaller. Period.

If I keep putting this bike off...I will be flipping dead from old age.

No, you won't. You sound like you're afraid that life is passing you by, and you don't want to end up old and decrepit, regretting not doing the things you wish you had done. I understand that. But motorcycling is NOT an activity of instant gratification. Go about it this way, and it can be an activity of instant death.

You'd be suprised how quickly you can progress as a motorcyclist if you relax and do things in the right order. I just started riding a motorcycle last spring, at 38. Never even rode a dirtbike. Got a Suzuki Volusia as my first bike - maybe not the best choice due to its size and weight, but nevertheless a very beginner-friendly bike. Never dropped it even once. Throttle and brakes that will not bite a ham-fisted newbie. I rode that thing 10,000 miles in my first season and absolutely loved it.

This spring, my second season, I bought my current bike - a ZZR1200, which is sport-tourer just as big and heavy as the FJR, and even more powerful. I'm doing great on it, thanks to the experience I gained on the Volusia.

I think when I go see the dealer friday I will express the desire for a used reliable bike...perhaps even pick one up now and have a month yet this year to get some experience.

Yes! Any bikes on the market now have motivated sellers - it's the end of the season. Relax on the Feejer - like I said, they ain't going anywhere. If you like things on the sporty side, which you obviously do, check out both the Kawasaki Ninja 500 and the Suzuki GS500 - both FANTASTIC parallel-twin sport/standards that make great first bikes (fun, too!). Readily available, easy to maintain, not the end of the world if you drop it, and easy to resell when you're ready for the FJR.

Good luck with your girl!

 

[bikepoor]

Maybe I should wait till the 2008 FJR with a standard fully automatic transmission and full saftey bubble with air conditioning? Just kidding

 

[Bluestreek]

I think you should not tell her about the bike. Just order it now. When the bike arrives and she starts in on you just get on the bike and ride away. If you tell her now you will never hear the end of it and you won't have any thing to escape on.

I also think that the FJR is not the bike to learn on. :cownoy:

 

[Toecutter]

I've been through it. Order the bike, dump the chick (not necessarily in that order), don't look back. Just my opinion.

You need the time in between to learn to ride, so buy a smaller bike NOW (well, once she's gone). Man up!

Or, just ditch the dream for 15 years like I did, then dump her and get the bike. The choice is yours.

 

[Bounce]

I can not argue with that, I stand corrected. Yes, the reason I have respect for 120VAC is from the first couple of times I was bit. Dangerous, yes...but to make a mistake on a bike on the freeway at 70mph is lethal...point taken.

On a highway is just part of it. Take the example of a guy who held at least one world record for riding between Key West, Fla and Pruhdo Bay, Alaska in under 100 hours on a Ducati.

Recently... ~30 mph, slow left turn after getting gas... side stand down and caught the pavement... high sided and ended up in the hospital with several broken ribs, a punctured lung (iirc), a broken arm, and a torn liver.

And that's someone with a TON of experience.

Take your lumps on something more forgiving. Trust us.

 

[wpbfjr]

Have you ever seen King of Queens? My girlfriend would chew Carrie up and spit her out.

oh, so she does wear the pants in the relationship after all???!!!!

bend over to all her wishes... :haha: