I've become a sissy!!!!!!!!

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Ed-

I'm hearing a lot of factors that are causing you to have these strange feelings: a VERY long winter layoff.....and that's after coming off a serious crash....without your normal riding gear....on salt covered streets with questionable traction. Naturally your brain's gonna tell you, "HEY, WAIT JUST A ******* MINUTE!! :eek: THIS DOESN'T FEEL RIGHT AT ALL.....AND IT REMINDS ME OF A VERY UNPLEASANT SITUATION".

I don't care how fearless you are, ANYBODY is gonna have some apprehension under thiose circumstances.

Re-read Madmike's post (#8). IMHO, you aren't gonna get any better advice than that. Know that you're not ****** up (at least no more than usual :glare: ) and while you might be able to overcome one of those factors pretty quick, it's going to take a little while longer....not too long....to overcome all those factors you noted and regain your confidence.

One small step at a time, dude. The riding season is just beginning. It's all good.

 
Good to be a bit cautious and nervous getting back on the horse after a season off... and triple trouble (going down).

I ride without gear and helmet on occasion. Used to do it frequently. Now I feel naked without it. I'm two different riders w/ and w/o gear. Sport tourer with, Nervous Nester without.... ride like grandpa... maybe even like grandma.

And if it's as sandy and salty up there as it is down here, man you GOTTA watch those corners. Hokey Smokes, I don't even like leaning a bike over until after a few spring rains.

So don't freak out about being a little freaked out. BTDT, got the tight sphincter to prove it. :eek:

 
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Careful with the sphincter talk.....them kali bois'll start gettin' restless.

 
Seasonal riders tend to need some parking lot practice to get back in the saddle.

What's wrong with your bike? If I "jack my throttle" a quarter turn (or more) it'll pull the front wheel off the ground and/or shoot like a rocket never intended to be on neighborhood streets. If you're saying that you're not going plaid in housing areas, then that's a good thing.

If your history of wrecks is what it seems to be from your OP, perhaps your brain's telling you it's time to learn to take it easy. Learning we're mortal is part of maturing.

 
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This all sounds all too familiar. Nothing like a little time in ICU to plant a couple ghosts in your head. I wish I had a magic cure for you, but I don't. Hell, I've still got ghosts of my own. And you're right...the voices of the "corner" and "leaning" are the loudest.

What I found was not a diminished desire to ride, but that I was now a different rider. What sucks, I think, is that this was not a conscious decision but rather something that was thrust upon me. Oh, well.

On the upside, saddle time will lessen the volume of the voices. It WILL get better. It's just not something that can be rushed. There will never be a more important application of "ride your own ride" than now.

The whole thing has also caused me to re-evaluate my own definition of riding well. Where is it written that you must achieve a certain speed or lean-angle? So, I'm not fast. So, I don't scrape the pegs. Whatever. I still love to ride.

I've done some soul-searching about riding. Why did I ever get these machines to start with? Why do I like to ride? What does riding mean to me? When I answer all these questions, I find that I no longer fit in a mold made by others. I ride to make myself happy. I ride for my own thrills. I ride to arrive home safely so I can ride again tomorrow. Ultimately, I just ride for me.

I kinda remind myself of what we used to call a "Cheap-drunk." You know, the ones that can get a buzz with just a drink or two. Well, I'm a cheap drunk when it comes to riding. It just don't take as much to thrill me as it used to. But in my book, that's a good thing.

 
If it doesn't rain, I'll be taking my own advice, though I had it planned before you started this thread. I am going to do some parking lot drills tomorrow and then ride along my favorite Sacramento River delta roads. Nice curves, very little traffic, easy to get "in rythym", a place to practice late apex/delayed entry....no need for speed but a good place to apply technique and also regain trust in the bike. Then, I can turn around and ride the same road in the opposite direction for more practice.

I'm still a bit "shaky", too!

 
If it doesn't rain, I'll be taking my own advice, though I had it planned before you started this thread. I am going to do some parking lot drills tomorrow and then ride along my favorite Sacramento River delta roads. Nice curves, very little traffic, easy to get "in rythym", a place to practice late apex/delayed entry....no need for speed but a good place to apply technique and also regain trust in the bike. Then, I can turn around and ride the same road in the opposite direction for more practice.
I'm still a bit "shaky", too!

I'm going with him....I'm a MINOR member of the crash.

I've been riding the bike to work and back for the last week... I have to say I, too, am feeling a little nervous when I lean the bike over. I think it's normal and hopefully will get better with practice. I will be going to Streetmasters May 3rd. I will ride in whatever manner I feel comfortable with, even if it is slow. Maybe that's a good thing.

Good luck..It will get better I bet!

LC

 
How long have you been riding and how many crashes have you had? It sounds to me like you haven't had many and they were all significant. I have never had the feelings that you are going through. I have been riding since a kid and had countless offs, some of which were big. Maybe I am just plain stupid but I have always got back on as soon as I can and even after a big one and a lay off, after the first mile or 2 been fine.

My suggestion. Buy a cheap dirt bike and find somewhere quiet to ride it, preferably with a buddy. It will allow you to go at your own speed with a much more easily controlled and lighter machine. Ride it as often as you can and it will develop your all round skills and build confidence for road riding. You will also ultimately have more 'offs' which wont be as big and will allow you to get back on right away and get used to the feeling a bit more.

I know I rabbit on about racing all the time but, racers go down at incredible speed and get back on immediately and go just as fast.

 
Uh....Dude...

You're just coming off a crash...

You didn't have any gear on...

You haven't ridden for HOW many months?

It's still winter and all that gravel/sand/cinder/salt whatever crap is on the street...

You dang better be a bit nervous!~

Hey, it's only March! No need to rush.

And where are you going anyway?

I've found after rushing back and forth cross country several times the last two summers... that if it's not warm enuf for me to feel comfy and just enjoy the ride, and I really have no place to go... I don't even want to ride. I'll just wait until I do feel like it. And it's nice out.

Mary

PS... I'm buying a smaller bike because I don't enjoy wresting with the big ones anymore, especially on the gravel roads around here. So smaller may not be as fast. Might even same me from getting a ticket or two...

 
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EM,

You have it backwards- when you lose the fear, that is when you should hang up the keys. For me, I like to have the a little exaggerated fear before I go out. Its also called getting older. LOL.

 
We had a post like this a while back, but I can't remember who, or when....

In that post I talked about classical conditioning. Remember pavlov's dog?

Well, the kinesthetic feedback from the bike is equivalent to the bell,

And your fear is a response that kinesthetic feedback, just like the dog would salivate to the bell (it's not like he wanted to!).

It only takes a few pairings with an aversive event before your body instincually kicks in the flea response. It's just evolution.

The way you undo it, is repeated riding, without anything aversive happening. No big scares, no close calls, no power slides. The more that happens, the less you will feel uneasy on the bike.

One thing I found that really helped me was following another rider. There is something about seeing the rider ahead of you doing fine that helps calm the nerves a little.

 
Since all the oher posts are saying, "it will be OK." or your fear is understandable (under the conditions you reported)

I won't go that route. Instead I wall ask you to think about what it is you really fear..

You do need to not let this one ride be the test. You need to suit up with all your gear and take a ride on a nice day with clean roads and the birds singing.

If you still feel the same way on that ride, and you can't wait to put the bike back in the garage, then you are done.

If your fear is getting hurt again..or worse..and it is effecting the way you ride, and more importantly the Quality of the ride itself , then it's time to stop.

Every time you get on your bike you always have that chance that you will go down. Unseen sand in a turn, to a drunk driver crossing the line...so much not in your control.

EVERYONE who rides is aware of these possibiliies, but they learn to push that fear off and enjoy the experiance. If you can't push the fear back enough to enjoy the experiance, there is no reason to force yourself into something you have become uncomfortabale with.

I know myself I no longer fling my bike into turns like I used too, and I know I slow down for them more than I need to also. I did all that when I was young and healed faster and had less fear.

But I still enjoy the ride too much to let the fear win......

KM

 
Get you gear on, make things as normal as possible for yourself.
I know this may sound a bit superstitious but gearing up is part of the riding ritual for me. While new to the FJR I did spend many years racing in the 60’s and suffered a few pretty bad injuries. Returning to the track after a bad crash was always a bit disconcerting but putting on the leathers, boots, helmet, and gloves were the first steps to getting my mind focused to go back onto the track.

Now when I’ve had a long layoff from riding I always feel a bit awkward but after going through the ‘ritual’ its just a matter of a few miles before I start loosening up and feeling comfortable. BTW after years of wearing full leathers I would feel pretty vulnerable without them, even for short errands.

 
Thanks all, I think most of it was subconscious trying not to get me killed. The last few days I've had the chance to ride her around the local school lot to scrub my tires in, which was one of my problems. The metzs loooked like one giant chicken stip it was so shiny, and they're not new. Once I saw the shine gone I got more comfy, just not real comfy. I think I'll be putting a PR in the rear and a PP on the front soon, and I think that'll aleviate the most disturbing concerns, but I think me and Mr Fear are gonna stay in touch, just in case I decide to test my mortality again. I think that might help keep me upright the rest of the seasons that I may be blessed enough to have,

I'd rather get hurt having fun by my own hand than by someone elses, something that really showed itself to me this past weekend. A pt was rundown on the street and killed by a hit and run driver going to his car. One of the more brutal things I've seen in a long time, and it really put my little problem into the proper perspective.

Get out there and live, death will find us soon enough, even if we make it to 95 it will seem too soon.

 
I've seen suggestions of parking lot exercises to help get the "feel" back and I was gonna

respond with that too. But I'll take it one step further and tell you to enroll in an ERC.

That will help you to get your confidence back in the bike and in your skills. Your

MOJO will follow.

BUT...you can't ride scared!!! Do what YOUR heart tells you is the right thing to do.

 
Ed,

All I am going to say is this. If you up to it. Let's get together on the parking lot and i will have you do few drills that are bound to help you out.

 
Take the small steps, over and over, until they are no longer thoughts and simply actions. Then build upon that base by adding another thought or two. Successful and comfortable piloting of a motorcycle is a process that comes with repeated behavior.

It will come to you, but only if you don't chase it.

 
Ed,
All I am going to say is this. If you up to it. Let's get together on the parking lot and i will have you do few drills that are bound to help you out.
What days do you have open? I'm working tomorrow 7a-8a(my relief is coming in late), so that's out. Other than that, I work every 4th day. So, this month I work the 18,22,26 & 30. The day after is a 50/50 shot, depending on the shift. This past friday I got 15 mins of sleep, the whole day! So saturday, I was unconscious 'til 5.

 
It's called post traumatic stress and that **** is cumulative and one day it just hits you. And man does it suck.

 

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