Well I tried.
Took mi bastard step-pappy down to Nogales, Mexico this past weekend. I bought the tequila. LOTS of tequila. I thought I had it all worked out. He's a lightweight. Get him all liquored up. Maybe buy him a Mexican whore or two - male or female, it wouldn't matter. Get him pissing drunk. And then it would be mine. That super-duper POS Gen III El Pendejo Grande bought would be MINE! I could easily get him to sign over the pink slip, right?
Not so much. That bastard held on to that pink slip like it was the last burrito left on the planet. Sometimes, things don't go according to plan.
The only upside? Mi bastard step-pappy in his drunken stupor ended up getting this gnarly tatoo:
Actually he got two. But I was sworn to secrecy of the tatoo on his ass cheek of his favorite Mexican gigolo, Miguel.............. Mi bastard step-pappy has 'considerable' ass cheeks, so it's life-size tatoo. Aye Carumba!