Need outside opinion on daughters riding freedom

[oldryder]

Daughter is 16, been driving about 9 months. smart kid, somewhat arrogant with respect to her ability and independence.

started teaching her to ride a street bike a couple months ago. she just completed basic riders course and has a cycle permit (no riders, daylite only, no interstate)

she can be fully licensed as soon as she takes and passes the state "road" (in a parking lot) test.

bike is a Kaw ninja 250. we live in a rural area. local "big" town is 60,000. her school is in a town of 2500.

heres the question: IMHO she won't be ready to ride solo until I've had the opportunity to teach her to rider defensively, recognize potential hazards, stupid drivers, bad intersections, etc.. etc. I figure a couple months at least.

So I think the rule is she can ride solo when I tell her regardless of her license status.

she thinks she should be riding all over the place starting now.

am I being unreasonable?

 

[TriggerT]

Hell no, you aren't being unreasonable. She thinks she is invincible, like we all did at her age. Unfortunately, one of the things about a motorcycle is that it accelerates the learning curve to a level most new riders cannot appreciate.

Stupid hurts more on a motorcycle.

 

[JimLor]

While you may find it difficult to get an opinion from anyone here, I'll give you one -- damn skippy you aren't! (went back and actually read your question!) And you can tell her I said so!

 

[twowheelnut]

She's under your rules until 18 (or whatever your house rules are). If she gives you ****, take her cell phone away. She'll straighten right up.

 

[Bluebullet]

I think you hit the nail square on the head......she may not be happy but at this point you are not worried about her unhappiness more about having a daughter graduate college, get married and all that cool future stuff she may not be thinking about. She may not realize in the scheme of things a few months of learning to do it right is VERY small compared to a lifetime of riding. I have to a 17 yr old daughter and chose not get her a bike at all. Maybe I am the one that is too conservative.

 

[SkooterG]

How are you going to teach her all those things without her riding a lot? Experience is the best teacher, and many lessons she will need to learn on her own.

This is a tough call. I don't envy your position.

 

[Scab]

Geez, I have no idea what to tell you. That's YOUR daughter. Let your conscience be your guide.

 

[cougar8000]

I am ages before having same dilemma with my oldest son. But one of the instructors that I respect and used to teach with told me that both of his kids never rode solo until 18. I think it is reasonable. Good luck to you. and hope your nerves are better then mine.

 

[ShawnKing]

heres the question: IMHO...

End of discussion right there. *You* are the parent. *You* make the rules. If *you* don't think she's ready then her opinion isn't worth a bucket of warm spit.

I say this only half jokingly - grow a set and lay down the rules. If she doesn't like them, she can either A) not ride at all or B) move out.

 

[jordylad]

I think you made your bed, now you have to lay in it.

You should have thought about this before you allowed things to get this far.

At least teach your daughter to plan ahead and consider the consequences of her actions, better than you appear to be able to do.

You asked for an honest opinion............

 

[oldryder]

everyone thx for replies.

to "jordylad". lest you promulgate the idea that I'm an ***** my plan, which my daughter was aware of, was always that she'd ride with me for months until I was satisfied she was adequately aware of hazards.

This question was listed because I was getting so much resistance I was questioning whether or not I was being an overprotective parent. easy to do, especially with daughters.

anyway the feedback makes me comfortable my plan is reasonable and I'll stick to my (well planned) guns.

 

[mdisher]

I think you're on the right track... But what you could probably do is maximize the opportunities you have to go riding with her. The more she rides, the more comfortable you and she will be. There are Oh-**** moments that just have to happen, if you don't experience them first hand you'll never fully 'get it'. As a side benefit, the two of you will build memories that will last a lifetime.

If she had ridden dirt bikes for years, my opinion would be a little different because she would have already experienced how quickly a bike can bite you.

FWIW, my son doesn't have his moto license and more than likely won't get it until he's 18 (which is less than a year away)... His mother grew up watching me ride at that age full of testosterone, and is scared to death of the consequences. he's a good kid and would probably do OK. It's not as bad as it sounds, he has plenty of other time consuming hobbies and riding isn't at the top of his list right now or we'd probably argue about it daily.

-MD

 

[HotRodZilla]

Maybe I am not understanding correctly, but when you say she is going to ride solo; do you mean totally out on the road alone, or without a pillion? I definately think at this point she should not have a pillion. I would suggest what my dad did: He rode with me alternating leading and letting me lead until he was comfortable with my decison making. ONLY then was I allowed to hit the pavement alone. It's good fun time to spend with your daughter, but the risk is always there. You can't eliminate it, but you can help minimize it. I think your on the right track.

Also, make sure you follow whatever limitations are placed on her DL. If she gets into a crash and is violating the provisions, she can lose her license until she turns 18, and your insurance my pitch a fit.

 

[radman]

Get her a dirt bike, let 'er have at it. Part of riding is judgment-she'll only get that with time. mAd sKIlz though, she can gain through the destruction of a 125.

 

[caryb]

I was in the same position with my eldest son about a year an half ago. The rules with me were that if he was going to ride it had to be with me. Otherwise, the bike was off limits. We have been taking that approach for about a year and I am now just beginning to let him take the bike occasionally for short local rides. He will not take the bike when he goes away to school.

The benefit of this approach is that we have spent allot of time together riding over the past year. We have learned allot about each other and I finally found an activity that we both enjoy. Further, I was able to observe his driving skills and gauge when I would feel comfortable letting him go it alone. We also now talk about driving strategies and risk minimizing techniques when we drive together in the cage.

I'm not a great parent but in hind site, I'm pretty happy about how this all worked out.

CaryB

 

[kulwen]

My personal opinion is it is your call.

18 is a good starting number to start with. However, if she manages to get in many hours of riding time with you maybe let her out on her own a little early. However, if she only rides for a hour a week then I would try to stretch it longer.

A oops is a car is often a bump and a few bruises. A oops on a motorcycle is often a lot of pain and broken bones. Both types of oops have the danger of death, and I would say those odds are greater on a motorcycle. Knowing their is more are risk if a oops happens I say it is justified to control the risk a bit more and be a bit more protective of her.

Protective parent?

Heck, when I taught a few girlfriends in the past to ride it was agreed to ahead of time there was going to be at least 150 hours (at least 50 city) of riding together before she was to ride on her own. I was not being a protective parent, rather someone that wanted another person to stay save.

 

[TCMike]

Daughter is 16, been driving about 9 months. smart kid, somewhat arrogant with respect to her ability and independence.

Arrogant applies to most teenagers! Mine is just about 14, and quickly becoming a know-it-all! So she thinks.

You have every right to tell her when she can ride. On the other hand be prepared for a thorough explanation. Even after that she'll still be mad for a while, but eventually get over it.

You da boss.

 

[Zute]

Daughter is 16, been driving about 9 months. smart kid, somewhat arrogant with respect to her ability and independence.
started teaching her to ride a street bike a couple months ago. she just completed basic riders course and has a cycle permit (no riders, daylite only, no interstate)

she can be fully licensed as soon as she takes and passes the state "road" (in a parking lot) test.

bike is a Kaw ninja 250. we live in a rural area. local "big" town is 60,000. her school is in a town of 2500.

heres the question: IMHO she won't be ready to ride solo until I've had the opportunity to teach her to rider defensively, recognize potential hazards, stupid drivers, bad intersections, etc.. etc. I figure a couple months at least.

So I think the rule is she can ride solo when I tell her regardless of her license status.

she thinks she should be riding all over the place starting now.

am I being unreasonable?

Remember - there are two types of riders - those that have gone down and those that will. I know what a hell raiser I was in my piece of **** first car, I couldnt imagine how dangerous I would have been at 16 on a bike. Personally, I dont think it is unreasonable at all. You are looking out for her safety and it's not just "her" riding ability you have to worry about - it's all the other head-up-the-*** cagers out there. Until she learns basic road rules, I would not let her ride solo. It only takes one "accident" for her to be a memory.

 

[airboss]

I'm at the same point with my daughter (new rider), and I agree with you 100%.

Only problem is my daughter is 30 something and I got a lot less leverage.

Get them while their young.