Need outside opinion on daughters riding freedom

[Mizz Bustanut]

heres the question: IMHO...

End of discussion right there. *You* are the parent. *You* make the rules. If *you* don't think she's ready then her opinion isn't worth a bucket of warm spit.

I say this only half jokingly - grow a set and lay down the rules. If she doesn't like them, she can either A) not ride at all or B) move out.

"Ditto" and maybe make it a requirement that she ride a set number of hours with you.

 

[Braenen]

She is 16. She shouldn't be allowed out of the house until she is at least 21. What are you thinking!!!!

 

[FJRintheVille]

I have two daughters and my IQ is going down everyday. I wish I was smarter then a 5th grader!!! In the teenage years they start to pull away from you and you want to keep them close.

Here's my answer: She can only ride with you until she's 50 years old or you die. Hope she makes it to 50.... <_<

 

[Checkswrecks]

Reasonable? Heck, my 18 year old wishes I were that lenient. He doesn't get on a street bike until I think he's had enough falls in the dirt.

 

[jordylad]

to "jordylad". lest you promulgate the idea that I'm an ***** my plan, which my daughter was aware of, was always that she'd ride with me for months until I was satisfied she was adequately aware of hazards.

In that case, you are justified (and it is NOT unreasonable) to enforce the rules (plans) that were originally stipulated. Riding with you for a few months is an excellent way for her to progress to the level where she can ride alone, and her not understanding that is proof that this training is absolutley necessary.

 

[Malve]

Geez, I have no idea what to tell you. That's YOUR daughter. Let your conscience be your guide.

First of all... Scab, I'm very impressed... a serious non-sarcastic answer.

I think that you've gotten some good advice that I am in agreement with already. I believe an airline pilot needs 40 hrs with an instructor before they "fly solo". Perhaps you can suggest something similar, including practicing some key skills.... make it a fun expeience and perhaps plan a celabratory event or what not.

 

[Rondo777]

Your not being overprotective at all. At 16 I wouldnt dream of letting my daughter ride a bike with or without me on the road. Honestly I think it was more irresponsabe to encourage her at all. Now your screwed and will just be the mean dad in her eyes. I really wouldn't care what she says or thinks but I would never have allowed her on a street bike at that age at all. Off road, yes, let her develope skills and when shes out of my house she could move on to a street bike. No way in hell I could live with myself if my kid got hurt or killed on a bike that I put her on. I dont mean to be an ***, I was a kid and wanted a bike and thats what I was told. My folks are the greatest and when I got over being an angry kid I grew up to really appreciate how protective they were. at 18 I was out of the house and did everything I wanted without them having to bear the guilt of my somtimes not so swift decisions.

 

[Big-D]

You are just a concerned and (justifiably worried) father that will be pulling what hair he has left every time she is out riding a street bike.

I have three daughters and the topic of either of them riding a street bike is truly an excusable reason to have a double standard and be a complete and total hypocrite whereas I would reject any notion of them riding or riding on a street bike (unless I was the pilot).

There, I said it!! I’m guilty!

 

[Silver Penguin]

I can see that you've already got some great advice here yet none of it makes the decision any easier. If you're too easy on her, you may live to regret it. If you're too tough on her, she'll find a way around the rules and you'll also live to regret it.

I have vague memories of a similar situation about 30 years ago. Week after week, I tagged along with Dad to the MSF (or rather, the English equivalent) classes that he taught. He would bring my 49cc sport moped along on a trailer. Come the big day that I turned 16, I got up at the crack of dawn to take the bike out on the road. I was really shocked to see my bleary eyed Dad getting his gear on at that time of day. He followed me on his bike, for a couple of hours. As soon as I got home, it was quick change into school uniform then off to school on my bicycle.

Having Dad ride along behind me did temper my youthful exuberance a bit. May I suggest that as often as possible, you ride with your daughter? It could be a pleasant experience for both of you (or it could be a war zone, depending on her mood). After a ride, you could ask her what she thinks she did right/wrong. Nod your head a lot and say ah-ha. Then ask her to critique your riding. Remember, you're walking on egg shells here.

My son took the MSF course when he was 16, to keep me company. I was a re-entry rider and needed the refresher. Although I'm a little sad that he doesn't get to enjoy the thrill of the ride, I'm not too disappointed that he has not chosen to become a rider. There are plenty of threats out there, to challenge an experienced rider never mind a rookie.

Looking back, I treasure my Dad's enthusiam for riding and bless him for sharing it with me. My brother learned to ride but never enjoyed it. I know that Dad is very proud of what I've accomplished in my riding. And I know it gladdens his heart to hear me talk about ATGATT.

Jill

 

[Dave in NJ]

Don't envy your position. As a few have already said, you should ride with her. A lot. Let her learn by your example. It'll also give you a chance to see her progress. If your nerves can stand it let her take the lead and see how she does.

Good luck.

 

[Kevin Daly]

Man up popps! she's your kid, make the call. If had to ask i would know the answer

 

[pinhead]

smart kid, somewhat arrogant with respect to her ability and independence.

You, as a parent, are the only one in a position to know when she is mature enough to go solo. Every kid reaches that point at a different age, if at all.

<stop reading now if you bore easily>

That maturity came late for me. After growing up riding dirt, I took the safety course and got my permit at 15. That was enough for my parents and they set me free on a Yamaha Seca 400. It was a great first bike and it survived my first 3 high-speed (50-70ish) lowsides in pretty good shape. Thankfully, only the last one was serious enough to put me in the hospital. Stupid tree! At 17, I'd saved enough for a down payment on a used Interceptor 500. The first lowside on that was no big deal, but the 100mph highside 2 months later totaled the bike and landed me in the ER with some pretty serious injuries. I paid that bike off 3 years after I'd totaled it.

My point is I was nowhere close to being mature enough for unsupervised street riding at that age. Either I fooled my parents into thinking I was, they weren't in touch with me enough to know how immature I really was, or they knew the truth and took a chance, figuring a few crashes might teach me a lesson (I was raised in more of a rural, school-of-hard-knocks kind of a culture than you find in most places today).

Conversely, I had peers who rode responsibly. BORING! I was always the first to ridicule and poke fun at them. "Bunch a' chicken *****! You forget where the throttle is?" (Sounds kinda’ like this forum sometimes, no?) I'm not laughing so loud anymore.

 

[Rob]

Duuude Lighten up. I mean would you rather her ride her bike or ride off into the sunset on the back of some punks stolen HD? Hell the little snot gobbler probably wouldn't have the sense to steal anything other than a Sporty anyway.

What it comes down to is she has to ride to get the know how. If you as the parent want her to only ride with you until she gets more experience then that is the way it should be. If she doesn't want to ride with you, in a year or so she will be able to make those choices.

Wouldn't if be nice if there was some place you could go to experience a crash first hand without getting hurt.

 

[RonBB]

My first reaction was that you know her the best & may be correct..........Then I started thinking; I started riding at 14 on a Cushman Super Eagle in a town of ~40K with no real instruction & the auto written test. If you made it around the block you got your M/C license and that was good for a radius of 7 miles from home & daytime only. On the other hand that was 47 years ago & not as much traffic. I guess all that leads me to the maturity level, level of trust, & general sense of mechanical aptitude, ride with her a bit, get a feel, & then select acceptable roads, know when & where she is going-She needs to file a "flight plan" before taking off & I would not allow night riding for a while. Also ATGATT. Best of luck.

 

[brianm767]

My daughter is 20, she now has a SV650S, started on a Ninja500, she rarely rides , probably 1500 miles on her Ninja and another 700 on her SV in the last 2 1/2 years, actually in her first 1 1/2 years I should say, she hasn't ridden in the past year,and even though she's over 18, she's agreed only to ride if either her brother or I am with her, she's not forbidden too, but thats our understanding for now untill she gets more miles under the belt, she has ridden to school and her work both on one occasion each by her self, Honestly she doesn't want to ride alone, I actually don't think she wants to ride any more, she knows she's got allot to learn, and after her recent Auto accident, she's too nervous to ride, so No, I don't think your being unreasonable.

I think you should ride with her, and when you think she has the necessary skills and discipline , then turn her loose. might be a few months, or a few years?

 

[johnny80s]

Sounds like you have a good plan.

Enjoy your time riding with her. Make it fun for her to ride with you so she will want to learn from you and not fight you the entire time.

 

[Ari Rankum]

In addition to what everyone has already said about spending some time riding with her, I'd also plan some serious bench time in a cage. Perhaps more important than her skills controlling her bike are her situational awareness and common sense in traffic. By actively observing and questioning what she sees and how she reacts in traffic you can get a sense of how mature her ability to flow through traffic is.

My opinion? Never mind how happy they would make most teenagers, street bikes aren't for teenagers.

 

[oldryder]

final report:

Initially asked here a couple years ago about ability of 135lb female to handle an FJR. Got a lot of repsonses that helped, most importantly advice to lower the FJR and get some training in addition to what I could teach her.

1st year (2008)she rode only with me on Ninja 250. learned a lot, dumped it once turning around.

2nd year (2009)rode GS750 then graduated to TL1000R (her favorite) and FJR. Together did 5 days advanced riding instruction and two track days at Brainerd Raceway. We BOTH learned how to ride. worth every minute and every penny. End of summer rode to Yellowstone with Amanda on the FJR and me on GOld WIng with younger daughter.

3rd year (2010) daughter announces she's going in the Marine Corps end of June so now my riding buddy is gone for the next 5 years. Maybe we'll get to take a trip during her 30 days annual leave a couple times in the next 5 years.

Turns out there are lots and lots of sport bike riders in the USMC so I'm glad she's already learned how to ride and (hopefully) ride responsibly. I made her promise never to go "canyon racing" if she's stationed in southern CA or elsewhere they might have activity like that.

Many thanks to everyone here that provided input over the last few years.

Mark in MN

 

[nofreeride]

Sounds like you did it right. Congrats to you and her both.

I tell my kids: When you can pay for your own bike, your own insurance (health and motorcycle) and the rider course, if you are still intent on riding, I will teach you everything I know, and ride with you whenever you want. It's a very grownup decision that should be taken by a grownup who can assess and live with all the potential risks and consequences.

 

[Willie]

Daughter is 16, been driving about 9 months. smart kid, somewhat arrogant with respect to her ability and independence.

started teaching her to ride a street bike a couple months ago. she just completed basic riders course and has a cycle permit (no riders, daylite only, no interstate)

she can be fully licensed as soon as she takes and passes the state "road" (in a parking lot) test.

bike is a Kaw ninja 250. we live in a rural area. local "big" town is 60,000. her school is in a town of 2500.

heres the question: IMHO she won't be ready to ride solo until I've had the opportunity to teach her to rider defensively, recognize potential hazards, stupid drivers, bad intersections, etc.. etc. I figure a couple months at least.

So I think the rule is she can ride solo when I tell her regardless of her license status.

she thinks she should be riding all over the place starting now.

am I being unreasonable?

Don't envy your position. You really can't win with teenagers. Been thru 3 and a long long long time ago I was one too.You have gotten alot of great suggestions here. She needs the experience before YOU will feel comfortable about letting be free. You and her could come to an agreement where you will feel comfortable about her going on her own. How many hours of riding time does she need in your opinion where you feel reasonably comfortable she can handle the bike properly. Then make the committment to ride with her during these hours. This has been suggested already. If doesnt agree to this, then the parent comes into play. No agreement NO bike while she is under your watch. If she does agree then you need to expose her to many environments, including city traffic. When you schedule a ride, let her participate where you will be going. If she wants to show her friends how kewl she is on a bike, then embrace the ride to her friends. Note the friends parents will hate you and figure you are some lose cannon, especially letting a girl ride. (note this is not how I feel, but how the parents of her friends will feel).

My daughter essentially got me back into riding after 30 or so years. Her first bike a Honda CDR 600 F4i. It scared the crap out of me to let her go out on that thing. She had an immense amount of respect for the bike and signed up for the MSF on her own. I believe her initial purchase was a fashion statement too, which didnt make me feel all that good. She was over 18 and I decided it I should no longer interfere in her life. That was tough. There is a big diff between 18 and 16, even thought it is only 2 years.

I guess the objective here is to make yourself comfortable with her skills and awareness. Good Luck and keep in mind you started someplace too.

Willie