Practical Jokes...

[Patriot]

Wife is outta town, so two "incidents" I pulled off I now have learned never to do again...

She's the AIW (Angelic Italian Wifey)...yes, steriotype Italian Mama right off the TV screen

So she's sensitive about her weight

When she was pregnant with our first born daughter Emily, Emily was in no rush to emerge into this world.

Two weeks late and came out at 10#.

At her due date, we went in for the so called "last" checkup.

The nurse, as usual, asked Amy Jo to step up on the (beam) scale.

She did and I, as usual, stood behind her to look over her shoulder.

I commented, "Don't worry dear, your are pregnant with child and at your due date. You are probably weight the most you ever have in your life."

With a concerned look on her face, she nodded and turned back toward the nurse and the beams as the weights were moved.

The big weight is moved to the 100# slot. No movement of the pointer downward...it is firmly locked in the up position.

Moved to the 200# slot. No movement.

The 10 weight is moved to the 10# slot (210#). No movement. To the 20, to the 30, to the 40, to the 50.

Amy Jo's eyes are wide open and her head is bobbing side to side. To the 60 (260#) slot. No movement.

She begins to wimper and says "noooooooooo, no way, Miiiiiiiiiiiike" with a primal voice.

Immediately the pointer and beams slam home...drop down with a bang to the lower stop as I no longer was standing on the scale with her.

 

[SnowAviation]

Evil, but funny.

 

[SacramentoMike]

I love a good practical joke, whichever end of it I'm on, or just hearing about them. My "ex" pulled this one on me. It was Halloween night and unknown to me, she slipped out to the neighbors' house. Doorbell rang and I picked up the basket of candy and opened the door. An adult-sized figure in an unfamiliar raincoat and one of those female-face masks like you'd see in a "princess" costume. She doesn't say a word but grabs the lapels and spreads the coat wide open. And she's naked! I'm standing there kind of thunderstruck, and the only thought going through my mind is "oh ****, if my wife comes down the stairs right now, how will I ever explain THIS?" Must have taken 8 or 10 seconds of that before something familiar began to register, and I growled "get the hell in here" at her. But yes, she had me. And no, I don't have a picture. :lol:

 

[Bearly Flying]

Didn't happen with the pics

 

[juniorfjr]

I love a good practical joke, whichever end of it I'm on, or just hearing about them. My "ex" pulled this one on me. It was Halloween night and unknown to me, she slipped out to the neighbors' house. Doorbell rang and I picked up the basket of candy and opened the door. An adult-sized figure in an unfamiliar raincoat and one of those female-face masks like you'd see in a "princess" costume. She doesn't say a word but grabs the lapels and spreads the coat wide open. And she's naked! I'm standing there kind of thunderstruck, and the only thought going through my mind is "oh ****, if my wife comes down the stairs right now, how will I ever explain THIS?" Must have taken 8 or 10 seconds of that before something familiar began to register, and I growled "get the hell in here" at her. But yes, she had me. And no, I don't have a picture. :lol:

So what are the odds of that happening again.

 

[TheAxeman]

One of my employees just bought a house and is renovating it so I made up an official looking "CEASE AND DESIST" order from the fictional "County Office of Residential Engineering", printed out a bunch of forms off the county health department website that had absolutely nothing to do with anything he was doing, made up a list of the $5000.00 in fines that he had already incurred by working without a permit, and then stuffed all of that into an old Consumer Affairs envelope that I had kicking around and then I stapled it onto his door. :lol:

The best part was when I put an official looking letterhead in the envelope asking him to contact "Detective Franklin Carbone" immediately and put down my phone number. When I realized that he still had no clue it was me when he called I was able to milk it for another 5 minutes before I let him off the hook and told him I was just ******* with him! :yahoo:

 

[SacramentoMike]

So what are the odds of that happening again.

Not good. I hope.

 

[CRMH Eagle]

A friend is neat freak and likes his stuff in it's place at all times. So I sneaked into his apt one night and moved some of it around... then made just enough noise to wake him on purpose. He came fumbling down the stairs barely awake and noticed things out of place and then put them back to where to were to be. After he started snoring again I moved those same items around again and then left his apt.

For the next several weeks he is telling our friends about a weird dream he had about stuff being moved around and he moving them back....and then he wakes and find those exact same items moved out of place.

The look on his face when I told him was priceless! Too funny...

 

[SCWatts]

A coworker and I were playing an escalating series of practical jokes on each other. I learned when he was going on a trip with his family, and that he was going to leave his large white dog chained to his boat in his garage, with the garage open enough for the dog to go in and out to the yard. A neighbor was to look after, feed and water the dog.

Another person who worked in our area had a farm. With goats. And I was able to borrow one of his goats. Another partner in crime did some social engineering with the airline and we learned when their return flight was coming in. So . . . .

We went out to his house before they got home, and replaced the dog with the goat, chained to the boat. We hid around the corner with the dog and a video camera. As they pulled into the driveway and saw the goat, the wife and the 5 year old son were smiling and laughing. He was not smiling or laughing. We videotaped them for a few minutes as they got out of the car and stared at the goat, and captured the son's punchline: Daddy, what kind of dog is that?

 

[Aasland]

You guys are cracking me up! I'll share two of mine.

The first isn't funny except to illustrate how dumb I am. Back when I was high school (living with parents and family) we had a sink with a faucet and one of those hand-sprayers. My brother had rubber-banded the sprayer so when you go to turn on the faucet, the sprayer nails your crotch. So there I was, turning on the water, and wondering, why isn't the water coming out of the faucet, and why is my cratch getting wet? THen I figured out, got angry for a second, and thought, "I will leave it so my parents get nailed". Run upstairs, change pants, come down, eat breakfast, wait for parents. Finish breakfast, go to rinse my dishes... aw crap my crotch is all wet again!

Second one was done by my wife who played this trick on her parents about 20 years ago. She taped a powerball thing on the local news channel, then the next day went and bought a ticket for yesterday's winning number. Swapped her mom's ticket for that, and played the tape at the right time ... mom got all excited until the trick was revealed. Classic!

 

[allrider]

The P-touch wars:

We had a P-touch label maker at our place of business and my colleague loved to label everything including my "82 GS 850 Zuccini that had a White Vetter fairing w/lowers and matching white Bates bags and top case. It looked like a police bike if you weren't paying attention. The white labels and black lettering blended perfectly and i didn't see them for two weeks.

He labeled the back of the top case and left bag with "CHP California Highway Patrol" <_<

On the right side bag he put "Officer John Poncherello" and under that "but you can call me Ponch Maam" I figured it out when a car full of kids pulled up next to me and started laughing their heads off and pointing. :yahoo: :yahoo: :yahoo:

I had to leave them on there for a day or two while I planned my revenge so he didn't get suspisious. <_<

I labeled his passenger door just under the window so anyone reading it would look in the window to see him. The label read "Proud member in good standing of NAMBLA" (North American man/boy love assoc).

A week later he came into work and punched me in the shoulder, real hard. :angry: I said what was that for? :blink:

He said, I was shopping with my Wife and she said people were looking at her funny and pointing while they were in traffic. Then he found it. :angry:

:yahoo: :yahoo: :yahoo: :yahoo: :yahoo:

 

[fljab]

We used to have a guy at my shop (Fred). He was a great guy really, but was/is one of these folks that is big on titles/awards/recognition. You know, the bosses come by, pass out some BS awards that don't mean much, but Fred just eats this stuff up; frames 'em, keeps them on his workbench.

So, one time they came by, recognized some folks (not Fred - or me either for that matter) and Fred was kinda miffed, but it was on a project that he wasn't directly involved. So, my evil mind got to going, and I got on MS Word, made up a phony award certificate with a border, copy'n'pasted our company logo, and made up a phony CEO name of "J.O. McGuillacutty". I talked our Chief Engineer to come in and present it to another crewmember that was working with Fred on a job. Everybody was in on this except Fred.

Man, he was pissed! The other guy framed it and hanged it on the file cabinet next to his workbench - which was across from Fred's so it was always seen. It was almost 2 weeks before he knew he'd been had!! We still to this day say that "McGuillacutty" wants to see you, sent you this job, etc!

Ole Fred was good about it after the fact, took it good.

One more Fred story: Remember those little Calvin stickers that folks used to have in the back of their trucks and whatnot? He'd be pissin' on whatever that person didn't like? Well, Fred had one of those on his tool cabinet topbox and it was Calvin pissin' on "FORD" with the ford in the cursive script like the company style, and in blue tape. So, I took the ford letters, got rid of the "O", moved the "r" over, then scrounged up some blue tape that was close to the original color. I cut out an "E" in similar script, so it now had Calvin pissing on FRED. It went ~2 weeks before he saw it...

It sounds like I/we picked on him, but really not so. He was a pretty good old boy and it was just fun stuff with him pitching sometimes. He left the space center a few years back to open a pet shop/kennel in El Dorado, Arkansas; I've always intended to stop by if I get through there, but it hasn't happened yet; we figure he's the mayor now!

 

[fljab]

I labeled his passenger door just under the window so anyone reading it would look in the window to see him. The label read "Proud member in good standing of NAMBLA" (North American man/boy love assoc).

That reminds me - and I wasn't involved in this one - we had a guy, now retired, that was the poster child for southern, redneck country boy. Drove a big 4WD pick-em-up.

He had been complaining that folks were honking at him all the time, everywhere he goes, and he didn't know why. We got to looking (all the shop and him), and there was a bumper sticker on the back that said "honk if you love black women"...

 

[BikerGeek99]

Hmm... Good thread idea, Mike!

I'll throw in a few...

For any musicians out there - back in high school marching band, whenever a woodwind (clarinet, sax...) would leave their instrument unattended with the mouthpiece attached, we'd put Anbesol on the reed.

They tended to get pissed when their lower lip went numb...

 

[BikerGeek99]

The family used to own a HVAC wholesale business.

One day, one of our salesmen (Jack) was leaving for the day and had pulled his car up by one of the front doors of the building and left his car door open and car running since he was taking one of the old-style, 40+ pound adding machines home.

My brother saw this and decided that he should help out Jack and park his car for him, so he hopped in and pulled off, just as Jack was walking to the door and saw his car move off.

Jack ran out the door and launched the adding machine a solid 25 feet and let loose with a string of curses that would make a sailor blush.

My brother saw the pieces of the adding machine scattering around the parking lot, stopped the car and got out, asking, "Jack - what happened to your adding machine?"

Jack's now about 82 years old and when we bring this up to him, he still lets loose with a nice string of curses at my brother. Classic!

*******

Another from the old family business....

We had a cast of characters who worked in the main warehouse. Sometimes, if one of 'em pissed off one of the others, they'd sneak out to the parking lot and shrink-wrap their car.

Or, if we were low on shrink wrap and the offender had left either a window cracked or a sunroof open, fill the interior with styrofoam peanuts.

 

[BikerGeek99]

Another from the family business...

We had a parts counter. If you've ever been to NAPA, it was very similar, just dirtier.

Most people smoked - customers and employees.

I was working the parts counter along with both my brothers (both older) and other guys. One brother smoked and the other didn't.

When my brother who smoked went to the back, my other brother happened to have a cigar load and put it in one of my other brother's cigarettes. I saw this, but we were busy as hell and I forgot about it.

Until...

In the middle of helping a customer when BANG!!

If you've never seen the aftermath of a cigar load going off (cigar loads pack more of a punch than cigarette loads), especially when it's one sibling playing a joke on another, the look on my brother's face after it went off, and the chase that ensued... The rest of it thought it was funnier than hell. My brother, not so much...

 

[FargoFeej]

You've all likely heard of the Navy tradition of asking new recruits to "get a hundred feet of chow line", or "go to Supply and get a Fallopian tube for the radar", but I was involved with a better one. I don't know if this one was used anywhere else:

When a new guy would come in to the ET (electronics tech) shop at the base on Grand Turk Island, we would show him around and mention several times what an SOB the Chief was and that he'd better get in good with him or the year would be hell. If he asked how to do that we'd say "He's really proud of his younger sister. Ask him how she's doing in the Smoky the Bear Scouts. It's kinda like Boy Scouts...". When the guy brought it up to the Chief (who was in on it), the Chief would give him a piercing look and say, "That's not funny kid--my sister died in a forest fire last year." We got a good idea how the guy would fit in, and how fit he was, by how far he would chase us. It didn't always work, but when it did it was great.

 

[johnny80s]

This is hands down the best thread I have read in a long time.

 

[Tyler]

Food for future fodder...