Practical Jokes...

[fljab]

You've all likely heard of the Navy tradition of asking new recruits to "get a hundred feet of chow line", or "go to Supply and get a Fallopian tube for the radar", but I was involved with a better one. I don't know if this one was used anywhere else:

Now the Navy, there's a bunch there!

I was on a submarine and we had a bunch of stuff - you could NOT let anything get to ya, like a name or something that bugged ya or it could be hell especially on those long undersea adventures. Here's a couple:

Common things for new guys was to send them after the serial numbers for the water slugs, or get the color dye for the water slugs - water slug was when you tested the torpedo tubes operation by filling with sea water and pulsed it out. This was done by pressurizing a tank then forcing the water out to the tubes creating pressure and flow; that was called the "barn door".

So, keeping with the water slug theme, another thing was to send them for the "barn door key" which, of course, wasn't real in the strict sense. Back aft (engine room) they had a turbine jacking wrench for manually jacking over the turbines for maintenance. This mutha was heavy and ~5-6' long if memory serves, and of course the engine room was at the extreme opposite end of the boat from the torpedo room. So, you'd send someone after the barn door key which was stored in the engine room (that's the only place that there is room to store it...); they'd go back, haul and snake that thing through the entire sub (they're mighty tight inside!), finally get it up to the torpedo room with many thanks from the TM's only to find out - - -

they brought the one for the port side, the TM's needed the starboard one!

so, they take it back, the engineroom folks apologize, blame the chief, say they didn't hear it right, and take the jacking wrench back around the back of the turbine, circle around, then bring it back (same one) and hand it to them again, and it starts all over!

Of course, the whole boat is in on this! Great fun, especially when things get boring on a long patrol. I know, some of this stuff is kinda "you had to be there", but still.

One of the worst names you could be called on the boat was a "NUB"; I knew a guy that had a last name of "BUNN"; he would never go near a mirror with his shirt on (your name is stenciled) as someone could then see it backwards and let the word out that "BUNN" spelled backwards was "NUB"

 

[Patriot]

BTW, somebody or I will start a thread " Weddings: practical jokes you played or were played on you

...also can include unfortunate incidents

ah man, yous guys, they are all coming to mind after reading these...I'll try to spread them out

This one was my ole rusted '64 VW Bug I had. Yep, the 6v battery was under the back seat and the floor under it was pretty rusted. One day, I hit a big assed bump and heard a out back. Thinking my engine was destroying itself, I look into the rear view mirror, and my battery is rolling down the street directly behind me. Since those old cars had a genuine generator, the car kept running. I stopped, threw it in reverse and collected my battery. No damage other than some superficial stratches. Put a piece of plywood over the hole, put the battery back on top of that, fixed the leads with a new positive clamp and jumped over the copper mesh negative ground, and was good to go for a couple more years until the battery crapped. I have lotsa stories about that car which got me to Tulane Univ when I was in ROTC. Later, my "Ensign Mobile" was a 77 Celica with the 20R engine. Now that was a sweet car.

When I got out of the Navy, a close friend and service rival was a LCdr (liet commander equal to a Major or O-4) who soon was promoted to Commander (like a Lt Colonel). He took command of a small Coast Guard station in Maine on the east coast. It was his first real Command. Well, my brother and I had a ficticious "friend" who we blamed anything that our parents didn't like on or we quipped we were going to "Herman Gafreea's house or birthday party or dance or whatever. I have no clue how my brother came up with the name, but he was our "goto" guy.

Well, I called Dan's office phone and when he wasn't in, I was talking to his yeoman or military secretary who took his calls. I told her I was Admiral Herman Gafreea and that it was reported that one of the Coast Guard boats was seen exhausting the on board head overboard and into the channel. "**** was everywhere" and the mayor's daughter was on a Hobie Cat with her husband nearby, and were now full of ****. You have Commander Takasugi (Dan Takasugi is my friend's name) call me at once and I want an explantion about this matter TODAY. I left my wife's cell phone # which he didn't have at the time and waited with her borrowed phone. I then changed the greeting to my disguised voice with Admiral Gafreea's identifying himself as COMDIV3 or Commander Division 3 which was the neighboring division next to Dan's. Oh man, I let it go to voice mail and his message was priceless. I wish I had recorded. Well, I let him simmer for 15-20 minutes and then called back as Admiral Gafreea. He came on the line and I started some double talk in my real voice and finally he went silent, said a few ah's, and then got brave enough to ask "who is this; damn, is that you Mike."

the second and last gotcha on my loving and tolerant (she's the AIW - Angelic Italian Wifey - and I was counting on just that as she had a standing invitation with her Dad and Uncle to call them if there was any problem with me. Poppa Toca was our "limo" driver for our wedding, he took us in his Caddy from the church to the reception. Well, he told me sternly, that if I ever hurt Amy Jo and she called to report such to him or her Dad, Guido and Gusepi would come calling and I would not want that to happen.

Anyway, back when I was undiagnosed, unmedicated bipolar, I kinda went crazy with $$$. In fact, I purchased a Mitsubishi top of the line Eclipse sports car with a credit card. Now it was a no no no loan through Mitsubishi and the credit card was colateral against the loan which came due in 12 months. But still...

I loved that car and it was a blast to drive. I wouldn't let Amy Jo drive it for the first month I owned it, but one evening she insisted taking it to her sister's home so both her sisters and her could go corrowsing in the French Quarter. I asked her where the car would be. She said the plan was to go in one sisters Avalon and the car stay in front of her sister's home. She had threatened to call Poppa Toca and complain if I didn't let her occassionly drive my car. (caveat: she didn't start driving till she was 22 just outta college...took the bus everywhere before that...well she totaled a car a year for three years. While we were engaged, she totaled her Chevette...which in hindsight, wasn't really a bad thing).

OK she goes on her merry way at 8pm and at midnight, no sign of her. I decided to hop in the minivan and go to her sister's house and see what's up. Get there and the car is parked in front of the house on the street and the house is dark. I decided to move the car around the corner and outta sight and just go home.

Well the phone call from her about 2am was priceless.

What Amy Jo, my car...you lost my car...where is my car...damn, I gotta check if the insurance is valid yet

Did you park it in a no parking zone or somehow illegally and it was towed.

Any sign of it or any damaged pieces near where it was parked...do you think someone stole my new sports car ???

I couldn't see her suffering anymore and let her off the hook...finally told where I parked the car.

 

[Patriot]

Navy:

yep, on my 3rd class cruise in college NROTC, I was to act and learn what the enlisted folks were all about.

I was on assigned for the summer to be attached to the DDG32 John Paul Jones. I was sent for "Bulkhead Remover", "Propeller Wash", "Relative Bearing Grease", and was assigned when we did my first at sea cruise (out about a week for war games in the Pacific outta San Diego in 1977), I was put in a foul weather suit with life jacket and a long pole with a hook on the end. Put me right up front in some wavey seas (forward on the forcastle like standing right on the front point of the ship like the movie "Titanic"). I was on "Mail Buoy" watch and was to hook the mail bag as we went by. Soaked, seasick, sliding around the wet slimey deck...it was miserable. The Boatswain Mates (deck hands) were having a good ole time with this Midshipman (Joe College, No Knowledge) who was on the way to become an officer over them.

It's like us telling felow riders to get some of this stuff and periodicly replace it:

 

[RsvlFeej]

In the middle of helping a customer when BANG!!
If you've never seen the aftermath of a cigar load going off (cigar loads pack more of a punch than cigarette loads)

I had forgotten about my evil childhood until you mentioned this...I once picked up a packet of those exploding cigarette loads (spikes) at a flea market. Since my dad smoked, he got a few cigarettes spiked. BUT, since he smoked unfiltered Lucky Strikes, I only had a 50-50 shot at him lighting the correct end and hitting the spike. So, one day I got the bright idea to use another couple of spikes to push to the halfway point. After destroying half a pack of cigarettes, I got one loaded as deep as I could go with 3 spikes. A few days later, in comes pop still a little pissed but halfway chuckling too (thank Gawd - He'd have kilt me if I'd been within reach)

Turned out, he'd lit that cigarette while driving our old bobtail Dodge barley truck - middle of summer, so the windows were both open - Cigarette went pop, blew hot coals and ash all over him and trumpeted out the end of the cigarette a little. Then he got busy correcting the now-wayward truck and brushing out the small fires in his lap. Since he'd been the victim of those spikes for a couple of weeks by then, he knew he was safe, and re-lit the same cigarette TWICE more before he finally threw the thing out, along with the rest of that pack.

Evilest/funniest one done to me was about 4 years ago. You can purchase 'annoyatrons' on-line. An Annoyatron is a small speaker connected to a small microchip and a watch battery, with a magnet for attaching to metal. They make a sound similar to many electronic devices - a small beep or chirp - with the interval between beeps randomized and controlled by the microchip. My 'friend' bought two and placed them carefully behind two of our kitchen appliances.

When something beeps about once every ten minutes, but the sound doesn't always come from the same place so you can't triangulate its location, and you have the standard number of electronic devices and a day off, but bad weather so you have to stay inside - if you are like me, you must make the beep STOP. By about noon, I had replaced the battery in everything I could think of that could possibly have a battery, screwed up the time on everything with a digital clock, stuck the wife's watch deep under some bedding, disassembled the thermostat, unplugged the DVD, VCR, TV, and satellite dish, and generally turned the place upside-down without success.

The next day, my wife had the day off. It took about 4 hours of her butt parked in the middle of the kitchen to locate the first annoyatron, but she told me the 2nd was much easier to find...

 

[Patriot]

my best friend from the neighborhood was somewhat of a rival...I went to Tulane, he went to LSU; my family bought Ford Products, his Chevy; I raced Suzuki, he raced Yamaha...etc.

Well he had a '66 VW and I had a '64 to get us to college. Now he was always preaching the virtues of his car that he got it from the junkyard, rebuilt and painted it, and made it perfect. He also kept boasting of how great the mileage was. Well, I got sick of it.

One day when he wasn't around but his car was, I popped the front hood from inside the car and placed some monofilament line to the catch. I could open the hood which contained the gas tank and filler cap at will. Remember, the bug's engine was in the rear.

Well, it seemed he would drive around all weekend, and then fill the tank on Monday after school as a habit. He would always jot down the miles driven since last fill up to the neck and would calculate his mileage. Well, I would sneak over, pop the lid, and from my lawnmower gas can, add a gallon of gas to his tank.

He started boasting the engine was finally loosening up after he rebuilt it, and the mileage was skyrocketing. 20mpg, 25, 30, 40, geez what a great car, he would say. This went on for about two weeks. When he was finally so full of himself he needed to be deflated, I started siphoning gas out. a pint, then a quart, then 2 quarts. He started complaining how terrible his mileage was getting and he couldn't figure it out really. Then he started complaining the performance was decreasing and obviously something was wrong even though I did nothing to the rest of the car other than suck out some gas. When it hit 10mpg afte about a week of doing that, I quit all activity on the car. For maybe a year or two, he had no clue why his car has suck flucuatiolns of mileage. As a graduation present from LSU (April '80 as me from Tulane), I sent him a note on homemade VW letterhead explaining what I was doing all that time.

 

[Patriot]

yep, my cousin used to bring the old jeep's condenser (points back then), hook it up to the ignition system, not turn on the master switch, and step on the starter switch in the floor like the old high beem foot switch. Let the engine spin a few times, and then pick up the condenser from the end. It's just a big capacitor which stores electricity.

My cousin would place it on the table or counter and just wait. Those of us younger cousins who had no clue what it was would get curious and pick it up to examine it. Then they would give out a primal scream, drop the thing, and maybe jerk moving about 4 feet in one direction or another.

I was a long time lifeguard during the summer at a posh, upscale Country Club in Lakeview, and upper neighborhood of New Orleans.

When I worked the late shift, one of my closing duties was to check and clean up the teen game room. Well, one day, the young people were particularily obnoxious, and I was giving time outs left and right...I do remember there was a full moon.

Well that evening it was quiet and when I closed the pool and started sweeping up the outside deck, I saw the remaining group of teens leaving and they waved and said goodbye. The also said they were sorry for causing grief that day. I smiled and welled up with pride at "my" teenagers.

Well, I entered the teen room and started cleaning, sweeping, and straightening up. As I approached the pool table to put the balls, sticks, rack, and bridge in their proper storage space, I saw an unopened can of Sprite sitting placed on the wooden edge of the table. My first thought was, "those idiots...somebody purchased a can of soda and forgot it here, unopened and still cool." Well, I was real thirsty, popped the tab, and was immediately doused with sticky liquid all over me. I mean, it was like I pictured them...throwing it back and forth and rolling it across the floor for many minutes. Got me.

 

[Steel]

I played receiver in college. As freshmen, we were always hazed by upper classmen. During the summer, most everyone would return to their parents home. We had the home address for our strong safety, a special kind of prick. We purchased a subscription in his name for "High Times" Magazine and had it delivered to his parent's address. He still says his mom never believed his story.

 

[BikerGeek99]

Friends in college were always signing each other up for various self-help stuff available in the back of USAToday.

By the 4th time my roommate got an information packet in the mail about bed wetting, I was the one peeing myself laughing so hard.

 

[SacramentoMike]

I'm enjoying these. There are so many, but most seem to need half a page of "set up," so I'll just tell this last one. My good friend Peter had some sudden gastric problem that got him admitted to the hospital for a few days a while back. On the way to visit, I stopped at Tower Books and picked up a few things for him to look at. Big sports fan, so I got him Sports Illustrated. Likes women, so I got him Playboy. Then, at the bottom of the pile, a copy of the raunchiest gay mens' magazine on the rack, the one with the most outrageous picture on the cover I could find.

Took them in, showed him the stack. "Thanks, just set them down over there." I guess they sat there most of the day. He told me later one of the male nurses came in and noticed them (still before he'd looked at them at all) and began to look through them. He gave Pete what he later described as a very strange look when he got to the bottom of the pile. After Pete saw what was in the stack, that look came back to him, and he was completely embarrassed every time he saw that nurse again.

 

[Bustanut joker]

Friends in college were always signing each other up for various self-help stuff available in the back of USAToday.
By the 4th time my roommate got an information packet in the mail about bed wetting, I was the one peeing myself laughing so hard.

Ah ******** Andy! You piss yerself on a regular basis.

Bedwetter.

:jester:

 

[Patriot]

I'll save the phone call jokes for another day...

Maybe my favorate memory of my geeky friend Karl who I called "old man" as he is 10 years older. We roomed together at a seminar retreat thing for two weeks, and then together on a Mission trip to help construct a Kid's Camp Building in Grenoble France.

Well, since going that far for 10 days, the group leader scheduled two days in Paris on the way back to play tourist. Yes, yes, I wore cut offs and carried a day pack walking around the city and as an aside, I was kicked out of two of the best restaurants there when i went in to just "visit". The Jules Verne restaurant at the bottom of the Effiel Tower had some really neat fish tanks in the waiting area and I decided to go in to look at them. The tux wearing matredee came a running. I also got kicked out of the lobby of the Grand Hotel where Hitler's headquarters was during the war...but I digress...

Karl was a night owl and a terrible morning person...he also had little sense of time or "efficientcy". I decided we were only in Paris for 48 hours and set an iteniary to cram in as many tourist attractions visits as posssible. I researched when stuff opened and closed and their location and wrote up a "battle plan". Well I guess I wore Karl out cause he was snoring through my talking to him at 0700 the second day. Nothing short of my shaking him would awaken him or stir him. I decided not to touch him out of respect of his exhaustion, but I keep trying to talk him awake. Finally when 10am came around he stirred and asked what time it was. I told him and he sighed and rolled over. I still kept telling him to get up and we were gonna miss Napoleon's crupt and the Louve, cause I wasn't gonna miss the wartime museum. We finally about 11am he stirred again, mumbled he was hungry, and headed for the can. Now he always slept in shorts, white t shirt, and black sox. Yes black sox. He went into the bathroom and closed the door and I heard him plop himself on the john. I was pretty agitated by then and I glared at the door and what did I see. A six inch opening under the door and Karl's back soxed feet within reach. I lunged out of my bed, crawled over to the door, reached under and grabbed both his ankles as hard as I could. He let out a primal scream and his feet disappeared a moment above the opening. He has since been tranferred to the DE/PA area so we talk on the phone monthly. As soon as we mention we miss each other, we always say, "Well, at least we had Paris !!!"

So a year later we were rooming together at the retreat. Now I love swimming and cooling off in a nice pool. Daily, I would take a dip after the last seminar or activity. So this day, I'm swimming and there's Karl in his suit watching me and talking to a few other folks. I, as usual, leave the pool and return to the room. I get in the shower and start soaping up. Get the shampoo and start soaping up my head with eyes closed. I have a shower radio I play music while bathing and it's rocking. I grab my scalp brush and drop it. Looking down, I see FOUR feet and only two are mine. Karl had sneaked into the room and slipped himself into the tub with me showering going. He says I screamed and tried to turn to see over my shoulder and he grabbed my shoulders, so we fell out of the tub pulling the shower curtain on top of me till I was entangled. I flopped around trying to extract myself from the plastic sheet screaming. I honestly barely remember all that other than the racing heartbeat and hypervenilating. Classic Karl.

So the last short story was I waited under his bed (he had the lower bunk, me the upper) till he retired and what I thought was just about to go to sleep, that I reached up and around and grabbed his "love handles" and squeezed pretty good. He leaped out of bed and I didn't let go fast enough. My head hit the slats above me hard and I saw stars which made him turn from anger/shock to laughter as I self treated my concussion.

 

[HotRodZilla]

Believe it or not, cops that work graveyards will sometimes fall asleep in their cars on duty. We had a guy that would fall asleep while sitting on perimeters, and it was starting to piss us off. This guy would spend all day carting his new wife and her kids around so he never slept during the day, and would try to catch up at night. He was known to fall asleep at a red light or stop sign. So, one night, we find his hidy hole and park one of our SUVs right in front of him. We all get where we can get a look and the guy in the SUV hits his horn and brights. The sleeping guy nearly literally **** himself, thinking he had fallen asleep on the road and was about to die in a head-on collision. The next 6 months I worked with him, I didn't see him sleep again.

 

[BikerGeek99]

Nowadays, the missus and I work for a very, Very, VERY large corporation. The mother ship wasn't always so big.

A guy I know who's been with the company for, through acquisition, for 30+ years, has this story, relayed by me, in the 3rd person.

The office my buddy worked in was being remodeled. One of his friends suggested he go down and check out the boss's new rug.

Well, since the immediate boss was the local Controller, he heads down to their boss' office, opens the door and walks in, looking down to check out the boss' new rug.

The boss, sitting at his desk, asks, "What the hell are you doing?"

My buddy, says, "Well, <insert his buddy's name here> said I should come down and check out you new ru...."

Then he looked up.

The Controller was bald.

And had just gotten a new toupee.

:blink:

:dribble:

h34r:

My buddy just turned around and walked out, the Controller didn't say a word.

This was on a Monday.

My buddy was furious and didn't speak to his buddy all week.

Fast-forward to Friday.

My buddy is sitting at his desk and the phone rings.

He answers: "<Company Name>, First Name Last Name, how may I help you?"

Reply: "First Name, this is <CEO First Name Last Name>."

Buddy: "HOW GULLIBLE DO YOU THINK I AM??"

WHAM He slams the phone down, convinced it was his 'rug' buddy continuing to mess with him.

5 minutes later....

My buddy is sitting at his desk and the phone rings.

He answers: "<Company Name>, First Name Last Name, how may I help you?"

Reply: "Uh, this is <Corporate CIO name>, why did you just hang up on <The CEO>?"

Buddy (internal voice): Oh ****... I am so incredibly ******....

After many incredibly apologetic utterances, somehow he kept his job, is still employed there (and that particular CEO has since retired), and can still claim that he not only hung up on the founding CEO, but SLAMMED the phone down.

My fellow co-workers and I are still trying to figure out what, exactly, it is that he does, 'cause we have no friggin idea.

 

[slapnpop]

One of my past favorites for not so savy computering friends:

If they're running windows, you can do the following.

1. Take and set a screenshot of the computer in normal operating mode (desktop, program, wherever user is likely to leave windows set)

2. Set screenshot as desktop background

3. Rightclick on the desktop > Arrange Icons By > Show Desktop Icons - Uncheck this

4. Hide the taskbar at the left of the screen, minimized, without auto-hide.

One guy at a previous job left to go to the bathroom, and came back to a "crashed" program. He messed with the computer for about an hour and half before coming and asking for help with the PC. "<Program name> crashed, and I've rebooted 4 times. It still won't go away, and the start menu doesn't do anything!" :crazy:

Of course he deserved it. :devilsmiley:

When we were younger, we liked to trick the trick-or-treaters. One Halloween I rigged some climbing rope and a harness into a tree in front of the house. I dressed up like a Halloween decoration, with a fake noose, and was hanging from the harness in the tree. We turned off all the house lights, and the cars were in the garage. We sat out a bowl of candy, and left a "take 2 pieces" note. The kids that only took a few pieces never knew anything was up. When kids tried to empty the bowl, I'd moan and zombie growl and grab the kids muttering something about brains. We predictably had to stop when a couple parents "weren't happy" about it. Of course, these were the parents of kids who emptied the candy bowl.

 

[HotRodZilla]

At my previous department, we had a captain that was ALWAYS gone to some kind of high-speed training. He ends up getting sent to the FBI academy for something like 12 weeks and takes off. This captain was kind of an ***-hole depending on who he was dealing with, and his office was right next door to my traffic office. For the record, he mostly hated me and was always looking for a reason to ride my ***.

So the captain leaves, and one of my buddies who is also a contractor decides to play a practical joke. He sheetrocks the captain's door and textures the outside. It was done so well, if you didn't know the office was there, you almost couldn't see it. My buddy then moves the candy machine in front of where the door used to be. This was extremely funny during the time it was up.

I happen to be in the office when the captain arrives back at the office. He walks into the small bay area where there is a conference table and begins to look around like something is missing. He then walks over to the candy machine and looks behind it. He totally freaked out and nearly knocked the candy machine over trying to get to his missing door, yelling every cuss word in the english language. He realizes what was done to him and turns to me and screams, "AJ, did you do this?"

I responded, "**** you...I may be Mexican, but I'm not that good with sheetrock." I then exited the building laughing my *** off. The only reason I didn't get into trouble was because the captain's rant was caught on video and copied to DVD for everyone in the department to laugh at. Funny thing was that the guy that actually did the deed got the video turned off before he covered the door. To this day, I don't know if that now retired captain knows who actually sheetrocked his door.

 

[Bustanut joker]

I signed on here....

The hell I've had to endure because of it! I mean, lookit **** face up above...

Crying because somebody wants to "*** mount him"! ****!! don't walk around with yer *** smellin' of burnt rubber an' Vaseline fer crissakes!

Need I say more?

:jester:

 

[Richouse]

I had a colleague once that like to pull practical jokes like putting grease on your aviation headsets or smearing some crap on the eyepieces of binoculars. So once he left for the weekend and left his truck in the hangar and left his keys to his truck in case someone had to move it for some reason. So now its payback. I successfully hooked his horn up to his brakes so when he applied the brakes it blew the horn. The truck was a standard so he didn't have to touch the brakes to start or put it in gear. Just imagine someone going about 30mph then wanting to stop and pressing the brake and horn blows so its immediately released, then pressed and released again all the way to a stop. When he finally gets it to a stop he is PISSED. he snatches up the hood and just starts ripping wires out until he gets to the horn wire. Then speeds off. He didn't show his face around there for a week. I don't think his horn worked after that... it was funny though....

 

[juniorfjr]

I was stationed in Berlin 76 to 78 with the Engineer Company. Locked up in the city, we didn't have a lot of field training exercises, but when we did it was usually down at Wildflicken tranining area.

One of the platoon sergeants always went on about the wooly lovers in the farmers fields. One night while in town for a little R and R, he had a little too much fun and retired early. A group of us stayed until closing and had to walk back to the base. A couple of the group spied a lovely little lamb and we ended up bringing her back for the Sgt. With a couple of our belts for a leash we tied her to the cot and promptly passed out. Well he wakes up at about 4:30 and the **** hit the fan.

Fortunately no sheep were hurt in this exercise, but scared to hell when he started screaming and cussing. Running around wildly with his cot flying behind. There were no more passes that trip,but it was worth it.

 

[Bungie]

At my former employer, a cable company, we installed a new voice over IP internal telephone system. The software allowed you to specify different ringtones. One of them was a female voice quizzically asking "Are you there?"

One of the dispatchers whose near terminally stupid had her desked moved temporarily direct beside ours. Were programmers and admins and such and we value a quiet workspace so having a dispatcher stationed within 10' was definitely not welcomed.

One of the IT guys setting up her phone set it to the 'Are you there?' prompt over the weekend.

We all roll in Monday morning and the dispatcher makes herself busy for an hour or so. Were all just sitting there waiting for the phone to ring.

Then it happens...

Phone: "Are you there?"

Dispatcher: Looks left and right, then behind her...

Phone: "Are you there?"

Dispatcher: Looks UP at the ceiling TO GOD. Then says "Yes"

Phone: "Are you there?"

Dispatcher: "I SAID YES!"

Were f'n dieing laughing.

The phone stops ringing.

Whoever it was calls back a few minutes later.

Phone: "Are you there?"

She completely confused at this point and she leans forward toward the monitor. "yes?"

At this point my boss walks boss walks by and see's all of us red faced and crying trying to suppress the laughing.

Phone: "Are you there?"

My boss instantly new what we were laughing at. So he leans against the desk, facing the girl.

Phone: "Are you there?"

Boss: "Aren't you going to answer the phone?"

Dispatcher : "It's not ringing"

Boss: "Answer the phone!"

Dispatcher answers the phone and deals with the call.

Dispatcher: "You must be psychic or something, how did you know before the phone even rang?"

Boss: "I'm just that good"

IT Guy remotely resets her ringtone.

We had a good time with this for at least 2 hours but the dispatcher never did clue in.

Later that afternoon things are quiet, boss is in his office and the dispatchers phone rings "Are you there?"

We all look up to see the boss leaning over in his chair out the door to the dispatcher with a big stupid grin on his face....

 

[charismaticmegafauna]

Motorcycling practical jokes:

I've ridden with many groups of riders and there's this one guy I sometimes ride with who carries with him half-smoked cigarettes (smoky-treats). He's a really good rider and, usually, rides more aggressively than the other riders. When in the mountains/good roads areas he often gets well ahead of the group and then will pull off at a rest stop and take out one of his cigarette 'nubs' and light it. When the group arrives and they see what's left of his cigarette, no words are needed for comparing relative abilities...

In a similar vein: when riding with a buddy on a trip and, for whatever reason, dis-similar speeds occur and seem to be 'the-order-of-the-day'? -- the faster rider can enhance ride interest by getting decently out-of-sight in front and pulling-off into a side-road, driveway, etc. (out of sight) and waiting for his partner to ride by. More times than not, the pace will pick up as your buddy is now "Chasing a Phantom". It's often surprising how long you can follow them (in sight but un-noticed) when they become so focused...