So here's the deal:
Location: Southbound on Oregon US Hwy. 97 between Maupin and Madras
Road condition: Perfect. Surface smooth. Sweepers and straights through rolling hills.
Weather: Clear, cloudless.
Traffic: Nada, zip, zed. I own the highway.
Prima facie Speed Limit: Posted 55 mph.
My speed: Incredibly excessive.
So, I'm just hauling along, minding my own business, the Feejer is humming along like a sewing machine, coming up over a rise---and into the waiting radar gun of a Deschutes County Sheriff. I look at him as I go by and he's just flipping his lights on. I pull over and just wait for him. His "pursuit" lasted for about 100 yards.
I turn off the bike, unbutton my gear, yank out the earplugs, swing one leg over off the bike, turn around and see him just pulling up behind me.
ME: What'd you have me at?
Mr. LEO (A "pimply faced kid" of no more than 35 years): My gun says 87.
ME: Oh, crap!
Mr. LEO: Yeah. Really. [Looking at the bike] I'll bet that thing will go a lot faster than that!
ME: [slightly smiling] Probably about twice as fast. (I overstated it a bit, for dramatic effect!) So...what the hell are you doing out here in the middle of absolutely nowhere?
Mr. LEO: Just doin' my job. You got your stuff?
ME: Yeah. [i open the top case and get out my ziplock bag with the registration and proof of insurance and dig for my drivers license and hand them to him] Here....
Mr. LEO: I'll be right back. [Now the semi and 2 cars I passed 5 miles back go by, probably having their laugh of the day and thinking, Finally! A cop when you need him.]
ME: Hey! I'd appreciate a break if you can find it in your heart! (Being a retired sales and marketing dude, I know that you don't get nothin' without asking for it. Also, it's advisable to wear the most sheepish look you can put on your mug. The LEO has the hammer and you are the anvil. Never forget that.)
5 minutes elapse and I'm trying to figure out if there's enough money in my checking account to cover the massive fine I'm going to get and whether or not to offer Mr. LEO a night with my girlfriend's incredibly gorgeous daughter in exchange for looking the other way. I decide to "take it like a man" and not have to worry about having to take a bullet from my g/f's pistol.
Mr. LEO: [Coming back to me after checking out the bike on his computer] Bob (I guess we're now on a first name basis), I gave you a hell of a break! I got you for 20 over. That'll cost you $145, as opposed to $450 if you were 21 over. Also, you can write to the judge at the Circuit Court and they may let you go into a diversion program (known in California as "traffic school") so it'll stay off your record.
ME: Well, damn man! I guess I owe you a beer or two.
Mr. LEO: No. I just got lucky last night with the little lady so I'm feeling pretty good. Just take it easy will you.
-THE END-
At that point I resolved to mount a radar detector I've had in my car onto the bike. It's an old Cobra Model ESD 9110.
I found out yesterday, after being tracked on my bike by another sheriff, the damn thing doesn't work for s**t! The sheriff was behind me about 100 yards and my radar detector was registering Level 1. I thought, This is nonsense. It should be screaming at me from that distance! Later, the thing went off again at Level 5 just as I passed the LEO's radar gun! (Huh?)
Here's the point: I'm doing all this internet research on radar detectors (amazon.com, "Radar Roy", who seems to shill for Escort and Beltronics) and I'm so damned confused as to what to buy I don't know what the hell to do. One thing seems certain, there is a relationship between cost and effectiveness up to a point but I'm no sure whether to lay our $450 for a Valentine 1 or $295 for a Whistler Pro 78 which seems to get plenty of good notices on the internet. And even with the most expensive, I can find negative reviews.
So what are the congnescenti here running to keep the long arm of the seekers of revenue for the county at bay?
Thanks for reading this far!!
Location: Southbound on Oregon US Hwy. 97 between Maupin and Madras
Road condition: Perfect. Surface smooth. Sweepers and straights through rolling hills.
Weather: Clear, cloudless.
Traffic: Nada, zip, zed. I own the highway.
Prima facie Speed Limit: Posted 55 mph.
My speed: Incredibly excessive.
So, I'm just hauling along, minding my own business, the Feejer is humming along like a sewing machine, coming up over a rise---and into the waiting radar gun of a Deschutes County Sheriff. I look at him as I go by and he's just flipping his lights on. I pull over and just wait for him. His "pursuit" lasted for about 100 yards.
I turn off the bike, unbutton my gear, yank out the earplugs, swing one leg over off the bike, turn around and see him just pulling up behind me.
ME: What'd you have me at?
Mr. LEO (A "pimply faced kid" of no more than 35 years): My gun says 87.
ME: Oh, crap!
Mr. LEO: Yeah. Really. [Looking at the bike] I'll bet that thing will go a lot faster than that!
ME: [slightly smiling] Probably about twice as fast. (I overstated it a bit, for dramatic effect!) So...what the hell are you doing out here in the middle of absolutely nowhere?
Mr. LEO: Just doin' my job. You got your stuff?
ME: Yeah. [i open the top case and get out my ziplock bag with the registration and proof of insurance and dig for my drivers license and hand them to him] Here....
Mr. LEO: I'll be right back. [Now the semi and 2 cars I passed 5 miles back go by, probably having their laugh of the day and thinking, Finally! A cop when you need him.]
ME: Hey! I'd appreciate a break if you can find it in your heart! (Being a retired sales and marketing dude, I know that you don't get nothin' without asking for it. Also, it's advisable to wear the most sheepish look you can put on your mug. The LEO has the hammer and you are the anvil. Never forget that.)
5 minutes elapse and I'm trying to figure out if there's enough money in my checking account to cover the massive fine I'm going to get and whether or not to offer Mr. LEO a night with my girlfriend's incredibly gorgeous daughter in exchange for looking the other way. I decide to "take it like a man" and not have to worry about having to take a bullet from my g/f's pistol.
Mr. LEO: [Coming back to me after checking out the bike on his computer] Bob (I guess we're now on a first name basis), I gave you a hell of a break! I got you for 20 over. That'll cost you $145, as opposed to $450 if you were 21 over. Also, you can write to the judge at the Circuit Court and they may let you go into a diversion program (known in California as "traffic school") so it'll stay off your record.
ME: Well, damn man! I guess I owe you a beer or two.
Mr. LEO: No. I just got lucky last night with the little lady so I'm feeling pretty good. Just take it easy will you.
-THE END-
At that point I resolved to mount a radar detector I've had in my car onto the bike. It's an old Cobra Model ESD 9110.
I found out yesterday, after being tracked on my bike by another sheriff, the damn thing doesn't work for s**t! The sheriff was behind me about 100 yards and my radar detector was registering Level 1. I thought, This is nonsense. It should be screaming at me from that distance! Later, the thing went off again at Level 5 just as I passed the LEO's radar gun! (Huh?)
Here's the point: I'm doing all this internet research on radar detectors (amazon.com, "Radar Roy", who seems to shill for Escort and Beltronics) and I'm so damned confused as to what to buy I don't know what the hell to do. One thing seems certain, there is a relationship between cost and effectiveness up to a point but I'm no sure whether to lay our $450 for a Valentine 1 or $295 for a Whistler Pro 78 which seems to get plenty of good notices on the internet. And even with the most expensive, I can find negative reviews.
So what are the congnescenti here running to keep the long arm of the seekers of revenue for the county at bay?
Thanks for reading this far!!