Rider down

[FJR_pig]

Get him laptop and tell him to join us. If the whackjobs on here can't cheer him up, nothing will.

+1

He'll come out on the other side of this. Take care of each other.

Pig

 

[Derek]

very sad news jill,

expect dh to go through stages of mental recovery as well. same goes for you. you've also been through trauma.

you're apprehensive about riding now. give yourself some time. no need to make those decisions right now.

be kind to each other.

derek

 

[fjrbob]

I am so sorry to hear about your husband's accident Jill. He is fortunate to have you to take care of him as he recovers.

As for you and getting back in the saddle, all I can tell you is take your time. My wife was following a good friend and very experienced rider when a car turned into him. He had a badly broken leg and shattered hip. It shook her up so bad that she quit riding and after several weeks decided to sell her bike and get a dirt bike instead. As time went by, she missed riding on the street and everytime she saw a bike like hers, she remembered how much she enjoyed riding. It took over a year but she decided to buy another street bike and get back on the road. She learned a lot through this entire process and I think it made her a better and safer rider.

Best Regards,

bob

 

[HIGHLANDER]

He's not going to take well to being in need of total care. That's not his style at all. Any advice from the male point of view on how to help him through this? I'm a nurse, so I can do all the stuff no problem but how does an independent guy handle it?
Jill

From a male point of view.... you are a nurse,,, you have special uniforms.. he's now your prisoner....any questions ???

Everyone else posted up the touchy feely stuff, hope ya laughed, or at least smiled !!

Best wishes on a speedy recovery DH !

 

[FJRottie]

Shitty things happen to good people.

If he feels down in the dumps, remind him that it could have been worse. Look to the positive.

...like Highlander said, that nurses outfit can help.

Speedy recovery Penguin DH.

 

[skyway]

OUCH!! Sounds nasty. Not much else I can add for sympathy that has not already been said, but if your hubby needs to get his computer fixings during the down time, he might try one of these:

orin.com/access/headmouse

Get well soon.

 

[Fallen Jim Rides again]

SP, sorry to hear about accident. Glad it wasn't much worse. Bones will heal, though I am sure not fast enough.

As an independant guy who has been there I have to second FJRTurbines advice. DH will get frustrated and it almost certainly will irritate the crap out of him. Let him vent and remember, even if it seems like he is irritated with you, it is the circumstance and you're just gonna be an innocent bystander at those times. Humor helps most. At least this was true for me.

As for misapprehensions about riding, that is for you to decide. Don't hurry. The risks are the same today as they were last week. For me there was never a question. I dreamed (literally) about riding a motorcycle 2 days out of ICU and was aware that I had had the accident in the dream. OTOH, there are still days when that sphincter tightens up in traffic. Fortunately, I live in a semi-rural area and don't have to commute in heavy traffic.

Best wishes to both of you.

It will be ok. :thumbsupsmiley:

 

[wpbfjr]

don't forget about the fagile male ego... lol...

make sure he knows he's still YOUR virle man...

also, he might enjoy this website for riding by proxy:

https://www.ridebehindvideos.com/videos.html

dana

 

[Mole_]

So sorry to hear about the accident Jill.. I hope he heals quickly, and I'll keep you and DH in my prayers.

 

[weekend rider]

' How unfortunate life can be, and may be ruin the future for the both of you'

It sounds like his injuries will heal in several weeks and then it is off to start and rebuild your life and motorcycling life again.

You asked about how to care for those grummpy times when things seem difficult and awkard for him. One easy cure. And this is not mean or ment to sound cruel.

Just load him up in you car and let him see and visit some young people that are in a hospital that have a terminal illness and speak with them, he just might get a whole new idea about wnat life has to offer.

Or may be have him volenteer at a school where handicap children are taught and see how they enjoy just the simple things, like reading at 6th grade level, tying a shoe, or making cookies.

I am not trying to be mean spirited, I just put things in perspective about life and what we have and take for granted, compared to those with special needs that we take for granted.

My best wishes for a fast and painless recovery................ weekend rider

Just so you know ,I have done work and will continue to do work for those that are less fortunate. They truelly appreciate the simple things in life.

 

[Fencer]

That's really awful news, to be sure. My heart goes out to you both.
Mighty considerate of you to try to ease his frustration at being helpless while he heals. I think you'll find, especially if he's in a lot of pain, that he'll be willing to swallow his pride a bit and be grateful for the help. Oh yeah...occasionally he'll be really, really ornery.

I hope all goes as smoothly as possible for you and DH as he recovers. Take care.

+1

And don't forget to kiss him where it doesn't hurt

 

[flying_monkey_girl]

Thinking of you both and wishing a quick recovery

 

[Thug]

After 6000 blissful miles in just two months on the new bike, the party is over. According to the Officer at the scene, the bike was 'Vaporized' rather than just totaled.
A rear ender between two cars in the fast lane spilled one of them into the HOV lane at 90 degrees, about 20 feet in front of the bike. At 65mph, the bike was able to stop on impact but the rider carried on moving a further 25 feet, over the median onto the other side.

FF helmet and leathers saved the injuries being a lot worse but what he got will side line him for quite some time. He has five fractures, two in one leg, two in one arm and one in the other arm. He's also got a compression fracture of his thoracic spine.

I'm still in disbelieving shock over this and I think he is too. Haven't ridden my bike since it happened and am getting more nervous by the hour. If this could happen to a strong, experienced capable rider like him...... He is my rock, my mentor, my riding coach as well as my dear husband of 26yrs.

He's not going to take well to being in need of total care. That's not his style at all. Any advice from the male point of view on how to help him through this? I'm a nurse, so I can do all the stuff no problem but how does an independent guy handle it?

Jill

Sp

Sorry to hear this but we all hope the P will be in saddle in no time. The Axeman is quite right in saying that more than anything psychologically speaking; P is going to be doing it tough. When a man cannot do what he is used to he becomes his own worst enemy. Positive thinking and very little steeps achievable steps, along the way will have him up and out in no time at all.

As for riding? jump back on that bike SP and don’t let the bastards get you down. Accidents like this happen all over the world it’s the nature of the beast unfortunately there is only so much you can do when atop a bike at speed and something happens right in front of you. Obviously the bike gods have other plans for P and it’s not drinking at their supper table just yet.

Chin up and remember your skills as a nurse…ADL’s and achievable goals every day until he’s back on that machine.

Cheers

 

[twowheelnut]

+1 on what the big man just said above. Mend well, mend soon!

 

[krashdragon]

Now that totally sucks big time!

I can only add my .002 worth to what everyone else has said...

If you want to email me...

[email protected]

When DH can type, have him email [email protected]

He's my brother, a quadraplegic...but for a guy in a wheelchair who's supposed to not be able to do much, he's gets into more trouble than any 6 people I know...ex biker, he would enjoy talking to your DH while he gets better....

Mary

 

[Mike-H]

SP....sorry for your misfortune ....but it could have been worse....so.... from here forward...baby steps....one @ a time...things will get better....accent the positive....& know everyone on this forum are behind you both in the recovery process....best of luck....& I hope the recovery is a speedy one....Mike

 

[Maywannayamaha1300]

I'm so sorry about the crash. The dangerous side of this enjoyable mode of transportation rears it's ugly head too often around here. It seems surreal until it happens close to home. Speedy recovery and best wishes Jill and DH.

 

[madmike2]

Daaaannnngggg! There are no words to offer that could express any different than what has already been offered. BTDT and know exactly how he is feeling. As the caretaker, you will also be the target, but if you're a practical nurse (rather than administrative) you already know that. Unfortunately, it will be a bit more difficult to "separate" issues. Don't be afraid so seek help (counsel). After I came home from the hospital (I live alone....) my daughter stayed with me until I was semi-mobile. What role-reversal to add to my physical and mental anguish. Thankfully my rather intense "princess" used her pent-up rage to follow up with the insurance company and police department whilst I was enjoying a drug induced stupor.

The healing process will linger mentally for a long time. You will both have issues to face and ghosts to overcome, but they can be overcome.

This computer was my salvation. The access to the different motorcycle boards gave me an outlet, once I was able to sit in front of the keyboard. Advice for an independant man??? Keep a journal of his recovery and improvement. A quiet assessment of his healing and affirmation of his progress will help. Once he can start physical therapy (and continue the work at home) there will probably be a greater shift in his emotional well being. Any confrontation will quickly escalate because he will have no other place to turn, so you will be the common target. It will be difficult to compartmentalize any comments he'll make and easy to be offended and take them personally, but he will not mean them that way. Any advice I would give you would be worth exactly what you paid for it.

You are both in my thoughts and prayers. As with other's comments, I am only an email or PM away.

Uhm, I suppose this means you won't be at the Streetmaster's Workshop in June.....

[SIZE=8pt]That was baaaad, madmike! Go to our room and NO dessert![/SIZE]

 

[Coyote]

Terrible... He is fortunate to have survived an accident causing that many injuries.

Best wishes for a speedy recovery.

 

[nusman68]

not much else can be said...I will keep a positive thought for him...(and you) for the long road ahead...

-being the active guy he is, I'm sure DH will become frustrated by his lack of freedom-let him vent..having you in his corner to help, in addition to dealing with the physicians & specialists is a huge advantage. Consider keeping a journal so he can have something to look back on to gauge recovery milestones. You have shown your true colors here as a quailty person and (yes) loving spouse, which will play the most important role in his recovery. Best wishes