Something Happened On The Way To Dover

[101stpathfinder]

So as I prepared for the "5 and Dime" rally, I had this lingering doubt in my head. With Jim's (flab) help, my '05 had a new starter and I swapped out to new PR2's

front and rear on Saturday. Sunday all the fluids were changed and I prepped the bike.

I had planned an aggressive route for pure points, I felt I had a chanced to do well… really well. I started the rally from home at noon eastern time. I had planned

on riding until rush hour traffic then check into a motel for a 4 hour rest. I felt I rode very well and scooped up bonus points the long way up to Washington DC. With

15 or so stops I was running 3 hours "Behind" my target time. This was no problem, as my plan was to do a complete clean sweep of all East coast points. I decided

to hit D.C. first because of the timed bonus locations. This turned out to be the right choice as traffic was lousy. So after 28 hours and all DC bonus scooped, I got out

of the stand still traffic and took a nap in a motel ($) I really wasn't that tired so after a little more than 3 hours I headed out again. 7:30 and traffic was still grid locked.

I made my way down to the Chesapeake Bay Bridge/Tunnel and then headed north to Dover, DE. The air became cool and traffic opened up. All was going well… or

so it seemed. With some distance to my next bonus location, I reflected on the rally occurrences behind me and in front of me the awaiting experiences. Then it happened…

the big "Why am I doing this?" question. It threw me a bit, usually this happens to me on a bad moment - But this was a good moment. The rally was progressing the way I

had figured, I was doing well… Now I preach to everyone about this question arising, as it does with me on almost every ride that I have ridden. This time was different…

I had NO convincing answer. I had (IMO) a great plan, I felt great … BUT I asked myself "Why?" - Was it something I wanted to do for the next 10 days? Was there something

better I could be spending my money on? Was this passion of LD riding fading from me after only 4 seasons. (200k miles) Was this obsession killing other things (Relationships)

that should have been above riding in priority?

I wish I could bring up my SPOT tracking. I think I pulled no less than 4 U-turns with the thoughts "I am going home" (South)… No wait "I am NOT a quitter" (North)… NY city ahead- No way…

(South again) This is my rally I am NOT quitting…(North again) Well, The southbound decision won the night. I called Steve (The RM) and told him of my decision. He told me to sleep on it and call him back

in the morning. I told him I actually felt great but thought I should be home with my wife. He understood. I called my wife and gave her the news. YOU QUITTER! she screamed.. Just kidding , she was happy.

SO… I dropped out of a rally. And a great rally at that. I really love the format of this rally. I slept overnight in a motel, rode for a bit then pulled into a PIZZA HUT and ordered some

food. I then returned home to my home in Florida. What a heart break decision! BUTT an even bigger decision awaits now… What about the '15 IBR?

I would like to think it was a fail of momentary circumstances, but I fear it is a finality based on the fact that I have done everything that I set out to do. I know the rally vets

are thinking "Phttt What a quitter!" - and at times I feel like it too, but … where does one go from here?

I am thinking ALASKA flower sniffing with my wife! I still love to ride!

 

[user 28803]

You're no quitter. You has a great run and accomplished your goals. How is that quitting? Welcome to the next chapter, whatever it is.

Jesse

 

[Intech]

Tony,

You don't have anything to prove to anyone. I applaud your decision. '15IBR eh?

See you in LaCrosse.

Bob

(FYB)

 

[majicmaker]

Do what the butterflies in your stomach tells you to do, Tony. Can't go wrong either way.

 

[hppants]

This gives ultimate credence to the phrase "Ride your own ride". Props to you, sir!

Personally, I don't get the IBR stuff. I haven't tried it, so I'm not knocking it. But I don't get it. On mountain camping trips, I'm awarded Day 1 and Day "end" with 6000-800 miles of penance - sit you butt on the slab, lock the throttle at 85-ish, put the phone on "shuffle all", burn 6-ish gallons of gas, stop, fill fuel, empty personal bilge, eat useless calories, rinse, lather, and repeat. I do it intentionally because the faster I get there, the longer I have to enjoy what I'm really looking for - mountain twisties.

24 hours of that just doesn't seem appealing to me.

 

[gixxerjasen]

Maybe you just need some time off? Prioritize these rides. I know you had big plans for this summer but plans are made for breaking. Maybe still shoot for the IBR and cut some of the others out. I dunno, something you'll have to think on for sure. Good luck and good on ya for realizing when it's time to turn home and actually doing it.

 

[Bungie]

Freewill is amazing thing when you exercise it. Good on ya Tony!

 

[Tyler]

where does one go from here?
I am thinking ALASKA flower sniffing with my wife! I still love to ride!

That sounds like a good direction... sharing the ride with someone you love is quite special... maybe that is your next LD experience... and I don't mean the mileage.

 

[101stpathfinder]

Tony,You don't have anything to prove to anyone. I applaud your decision. '15IBR eh?

See you in LaCrosse.

Bob

(FYB)

My goal has always been a 3 digit IBA number. I was fortunate to get selected the first year I applied ('13) and finished out my dream.

I always told myself that it was a one time thing, then at the last few weeks of the application window I threw my name in the hat for another

run. I was selected again… I know what it takes to finish an IBR and right now I am seriously lacking the will power to do just that. So now I have

5 months until final payment is due to acquire a proper attitude or hang up my competitive riding.

 

[Allen_C]

Our will and desires change - doesn't make it's a quitter if we stop doing something we once enjoyed. You have many years of riding left; nothing wrong with a different, more relaxed type of riding than the IBA rides require.

 

[wnyfjr]

A few summers ago I rode out to SLC for the 20th Utah 1088. I was supposed to ride it with a buddy from Redding as we had attempted it back in '06 and I DNF'd. This time I was going to be ready and able to complete the rally. His wife was less than enthused about his participation, due to some discipline issues with their son at the time. She was alone trying to keep him in line and it wasn't working too well, but he made the trip anyway, even riding out past SLC to meet me in Cheyenne on my way across. The night before the rally was to begin, he made the decision that his family was more important than the ride, and at sunrise, as I was preparing to start my rally, he headed back home to Redding. I was certainly less enthused to be riding the rally without him, but I had absolutely no issues with his reasoning. Family comes first. I ended up completing the rally and checked that off my list. I did sorta wimp out a bit and decided against heading out into Nevada at night without aux lighting (he had that on his FJR and I was going to let him lead me into the vast darkness), but I got the required miles and even some bonus points (I think I finished in the last third in points or something).

Regardless, everyone makes the decisions for themselves and they have to be made based solely on personal criteria. Good on you for making the decision that worked best for you at the time!

 

[Twigg]

First of all ... Congratulations on your decision. I know that sounds a bit odd, but bear with me.

The business of LD Riding cannot be safely conducted if the participants cannot analyze a situation, and make tough decisions when they need to be made. For you, and for many others, it is way too easy to "carry on regardless" for any number of bullshit reasons. Fear of failing, not wanting to let folk down, personal pride .... they are all distractions that can kill you. There can be little worse than simply going through the motions of a 10-day rally for those reasons. So when faced with a tough call, making the right one for you, at the time, takes courage and a degree of personal insight lacking in so many.

You are not the first, nor will you be the last rider to face those questions part way into a long ride. From my own point of view, and I know this is shared by others, I face something like that during EVERY ride of this nature. Every time, without fail, there comes a point where I ask myself why I am wearing out expensive tires in the pointless pursuit of very little. It gets worse, because I am a "liberal tree-hugger", so I also feel bad about wasting planetary resources and warming up the atmosphere

We all do it .... we all face those existential questions and unless there can be found a reason to continue, then not continuing is the only real choice. It is a hard choice so well done!

When I am in that place in my head I have always come up with a decent answer. In my case, the answer is that "I am doing it because it is hard to do". Nothing worth having was ever easy to accomplish, so the fact that I find it difficult is actually part of the reward. It would not be normal to get to the end of a long distance ride without, at some point, wondering it it were worth the effort. Pondering on the waste of time and money, thinking these things could be better spent.

When the day comes that I no longer see my answer as the primary motive, then I too will head for home ... If I can find the courage!

 

[Bionic Pelvis]

I don't think this was "a fail of momentary circumstances"; I think your only problem is thinking of this as a failure at all. No, you didn't finish. But you accurately identified that your heart and mind weren't in it, not because you were angry or over-tired or poorly executing your plan or got into an accident, but because you made a good hard honest personal assessment. If you're just not into spending tons of money and all your vacation days sitting there and twisting that anymore, there is absolutely no shame in that - you can take your three-digit number and head to Alaska with your wife because that's a pretty incredible ride too (even if there are no trophies)

Congrats on your SMART ride and SAFE arrival home!

 

[HotRodZilla]

The Pelvis just said what I was thinking. I'm not really into LD, IBA stuff either. Just not my thing, but I have other stuff, and sometimes it is just time to take a step back and enjoy something else. You're not a quitter. Your an adult that made an adult decision.

When your time comes, be sure you have spent the time with your wife and family that you want to have spent. I know I don't want to have to wish I had been with my family instead of on my bike, or hunting, or shooting, or working, or whatever else it is that consumes our lives.

You may not care, but I absolutely applaud your decision!!

 

[101stpathfinder]

I don't think this was "a fail of momentary circumstances"; I think your only problem is thinking of this as a failure at all. No, you didn't finish. But you accurately identified that your heart and mind weren't in it, not because you were angry or over-tired or poorly executing your plan or got into an accident, but because you made a good hard honest personal assessment. If you're just not into spending tons of money and all your vacation days sitting there and twisting that anymore, there is absolutely no shame in that - you can take your three-digit number and head to Alaska with your wife because that's a pretty incredible ride too (even if there are no trophies)

Congrats on your SMART ride and SAFE arrival home!

Thanks Wendy

Coming from you that is quite calming. I went back to work today to save my vacation time, and on the way I almost did another U turn and change of direction.

Once I was at work and walking through the main entry, I noticed my friend/co-worker's picture posted on the wall. It was a notice he had passed away (The day I left

out on the rally) So i am thankful I made it back for his funeral later this week. He started working 2 weeks before me over 27 years ago. One year older than I, passed

way too soon. He had given me advice on the New York city bonus' and told me we would talk when I returned.

Wendy you do know you made the '13 IBR better for me don't you? There should be one of those inspirational posters with Wendy's picture and the word "Determination"

above it… I can match most rider's determination, but when it comes to Wendy - I am a feather in the wind. It was a great IBR/FJR Forum moment for me riding up Pikes Peak

following Wendy, then on the way down having Matt fly by on the way up. Who knew that he was having a monster leg 2?

I decided tonight that I was gonna let my wife make the decision on the IBR. I will accept whatever she decides. Her other option is to do an Alaskan tour with me…

Gee, I wonder which one she will choose?

Hopefully I will still make the run out to "Pinks" later this year and maybe (If you are not there) make a side trip to see the new addition you are adding to you house!

 

[BikerGeek99]

Having never done any of the LD / IBA stuff, I got nothing to add, Tony, other than my wife and I just got back from a wonderful 4 day ride to Tulsa, OK, and back to see my brother-in-law perform some of his music live. It was a great trip together!

 

[Lngrdr]

Once you enter a rally, it is easy to have doubts. Should I have entered? Will I embarrass myself? Will it be too tough, too expensive, too tiring, too dangerous? The bottom line is you set goals for yourself and you decide when it's time to stop competing or to keep keeping on. I wouldn't beat myself up about a decision I made either way. Sometimes you have to push yourself, sometimes stopping is the wisest and safest solution. My 2 year old bike is scratched up, dirty, and has 60K miles on it. I have 2 friends with older models that look a lot better and have a lot fewer miles on them. Who has had the most fun? Only each of us can answer that question for ourselves.

 

[101stpathfinder]

Once you enter a rally, it is easy to have doubts. Should I have entered? Will I embarrass myself? Will it be too tough, too expensive, too tiring, too dangerous? The bottom line is you set goals for yourself and you decide when it's time to stop competing or to keep keeping on. I wouldn't beat myself up about a decision I made either way. Sometimes you have to push yourself, sometimes stopping is the wisest and safest solution. My 2 year old bike is scratched up, dirty, and has 60K miles on it. I have 2 friends with older models that look a lot better and have a lot fewer miles on them. Who has had the most fun? Only each of us can answer that question for ourselves.

I signed up for this rally before I even competed in the IBR last year.

In my case I did not have doubts IF I could finish or IF I would embarrass myself… My question was simple "Why". I chose to make it "Tough", because I hate endurance rides that

I KNOW I can do. I would rather challenge myself. But I also planned a route that was not much fun. Many heavy traffic urban areas, some that I had to do during the day. So it was

my fault I planned as I did, my fault I felt I "Needed" to finish well, BUT most important here: It was my fault I had my priorities all wrong. My goals were selfish and should have been

made around my family- not made my family work around my goals. Lesson learned for me. I am not done LD riding, but it has been moved out of the "Top" priority spot.

This song played through my head on the way home (Time after time):

 

[karstenp]

Tony,

I doubt any of us are thinking that you are a quitter and who really cares if someone did. Your LD riding accomplishments are huge and you belong to a small group of LD riders because of your IBR finish. You have nothing to prove to anyone.....including yourself. I would echo what Wendy said so well.

Ride for yourself and do what you want to do with a balance with the rest of the priorities in life. I know my LD priorities changed after Curt Gran was killed 2 years ago.....

Hold your head high my friend and know that the LD community will support you in any decision you make in your riding priorities..... That said, understand that you will be missed at the 15 IBR start if the decision is made to pursue other life adventures....

Perry