Speeding Tickets, your best excuses that have worked

[pickax]

Scab wins,hands down! Good one!

 

[NC_Yank]

I've gotten two speeding tickets; one at age 17 and one just a few months ago. In neither case did the ticketing officer find it within himself to let me off the hook when I tried to skootch my shirt over my shoulder and bat my baby blues...

If you resemble your avatar........well, I can see why it didn't work. :yahoo:

 

[jestal]

Tell him you were hurrying home from the bar before you had an accident.......or.....that you just washed your car and cannot do a thing with it.

 

[04FJR4ME]

Tell the LEO you have to go use the bathroom and it is illegal to go in public! AS you all know, when you have to go, you just have to go!

Hand him or she your DL and Ins and say follow me to the nearest bathroom then give me a ticket, even if he or she does, it will be eaiser to explain in court and worst case they may give you a lower speed on your cite if they don't let you off. We all been in those position when holding it only work for so long and if it is a matter of shitting in your pants or risking a ticket, well :yahoo:

It worked for me when I was sixteen and no one ever use that one on me yet!

 

[Silver Penguin]

OK ladies and gentlemen, I think it would be entertaining and enlightening to hear from one and all what works when it comes to excuses for speeding, or statements that actually worked to get you off or away with only a warning.Let 'er rip.

DH told the truth - and it worked. He was stuck behind a slug in the HOV lane. Instead of splitting lanes, he waited for a legal exit then moved into the next lane to go around the guy (who of course, speeded up). Cranked the throttle just a tad, to make a safe pass and get back into the HOV lane without crossing a yellow line.

LEO lit up the Christmas tree, and followed until the next exit. Turns out that he was a biker himself. After a friendly 20min chat, DH got a polite warning. The LEO said he'd been watching for a while, and saw that DH knew what he was doing, riding in a skilled manner, wearing good gear, making good decisions. It was just that little matter of the speed. (He never did tell me how fast he got up to).

Jill

 

[rocketdoc]

With a little help from Google here is what I found:

Anyone

"Babysitter called … kid’s throwing up"

"Dog’s at pound … about to be zapped"

"Contact lens fell out … hurrying to find safe place to stop and put it back in"

Asthma attack … show empty inhaler

"Late to funeral to read eulogy"

"Epileptic aunt needs these pills ASAP"

"Chasing truck who kicked up a rock and cracked my windshield to get plate #"

"My rare blood type is needed for dad’s emergency surgery … he was in a crash"

"Watching my friend’s pitt bull 'Spike.’ I got call that he’s loose in neighborhood"

"Trying to get home before pizza arrives"

"Oil warning light just came on … hurrying to gas station."

"Waterbed sprung a leak … starting to flood … had to get this hose to drain it"

Carry stethoscope and white lab coat in car (nurses and doctors never get tickets)

Give cop expired registration … ask for ticket on reg and warning on speeding

Yank digital dashboard fuse … "can’t see speedo … fuse blew…new one on order"

Steal pacifier from kid (wailing ensues)

Diabetic ID bracelet … "need insulin"

Carry cheap radar detector … give to cop & say: "Damn thing don’t work anyway"

"Thanks for stopping me…Where is …?"

"Just lost job" … show goodbye card from co-workers … plead for sympathy

Women

"Trying to get pregnant… I’m ovulating"

"Bladder infection … excruciating pain"

"Cycle just started … no spare tampons"

"Got off early…found husband cheating"

"Lost … late for babysitting job"

"Nipples just pierced … seat belt hurts"

"My lover’s wife left for the night"

"Husband leaving for airforce in ½ hour"

"Late to take pics of sister giving birth"

Dress up as a nun (nuns never get tickets)

"Boyfriend just proposed … too excited"

Apologize for PMS … ***** @ cramps, headache, kids, husband etc.

"I’m pregnant … dad’s gonna kill me"

"Being chased by scary gang members"

"Left curling iron on towel on counter"

Men

"Studying to be cop" … carry police type textbooks in back seat

"Late to pick up kids from ex-wife"

"We’re trying to have a baby … wife just called & said she’s ovulating"

"Girlfriend leaving, tired of commitment phobia … must get to airport to propose or I’ll lose her forever" (show ring)

Dress as a priest (they never get tickets)

"Girlfriend’s pregnant…dad will kill me"

Wear sweatshirt from nearby PD

Crass

Carry water bottle. Dump water in lap... tell cop you have bladder problems

Spray Fart Scented Air Freshener in car. Tell cop you have Crohns disease and just had a bad accident.

"Just got treated for genital warts … hurrying to drug store to get crème to cool them down" (show cop brochure)

Keep barf bag in car … start dry heaving into bag as cop nears window

Open door choking as cop approaches car, hack out food as he performs Heimlich Maneuver. Thank cop.

"I’m bleeding…I think I’m miscarrying … rushing to hospital" (Female only)

"Just fell down stairs … I think breast implant is leaking" (Women only)

Missing tooth? Keep spare in car. Tell cop you sneezed and knocked it out on steering wheel… rushing to get ice on it

Poke inside of nose with fingernail … make it bleed …"rushing to get tissues"

"I’m bleeding rectally … headed for hospital" … offer to show cop

When stopped at night in rural area, look for Road Kill. Stop so it’s right by your window … hold nose & chuckle as he gives warning over loudspeaker.

 

[quicksilver]

Good friend just picked up a CBR and brought it over to show off.

I road it down to a residential interesection.

No cars in any direction.

I do a "U"ie and jam the throttle in 1st.

Front snaps up and I see a car bumper appear in the 1st alleyway 20 ft ahead.

I see it dip under braking and I scream a huge wheelie right by a county sheriff.

Damn, damn, damn.

Pull over before he even gets his lights on.

I explain the bike is a friends and new with a dealer tag from today.

He asks for paperwork.

I tell him it should be under the seat, which requires a socket to remove.

I show him the bolt head holding down the Honda seat.

He frowns, knowing this is about to take up a big part of his day.

"Keep it on the ground, and slow down. Have a nice day."

:yahoo:

Honda being to cheap to provide a key release saddle is a good thing.

 

[donaldb]

Back about 1978......in the fall.........freshman 1st semister at a small private Baptist college, Un. of Montevallo, Montevallo AL, driving a toyota celica off campus, goofing off w/friends snatched the emergency break, locked up the rear wheels spun a 180 and came face to face with a Montevallo police officer, who promptly pulled up beside me, rolled down his window and said IIRC "just what the hell was that?" My response............a power slide! He shook his head and said if he ever saw me go even 1 mph over the limit or break any traffic law again he would put me in jail. I told him, don't worry officer, I'm flunking out, I wont be here much longer.

 

[evilmedic13]

Last week I pulled a left right in front of a NO LEFT TURN sign and an Illinois State Trooper :blink: . Thank god there was a firehouse 200 ft away. I pulled over in front of the house(and hydrant) just as he hit his lights, he pulled up next to me and asked if I saw the sign. I told "after I saw you", he was looking really pissed but told me I should know better and to wear a f^&kin' seat belt and w/ that he left. It probably didn't hurt a white shirt was walking up to my Tahoe to see what was happening either.

I haven't turned there yet, unless my vehicle has lights and a siren on it.

That's the most recent pull over w/o a ticket. I think my ratio is 15:1, I've only gotten 3 tix in my life, one of 'em was the day I turned 18! Now he was a real ****, never met a cop that rude in my life! <_<

 

[airboss]

We were at our daughter's birthday party yesterday, when it was revealed little miss lead foot had been stopped for speeding "oh maybe 5 or 6 times this year." No tickets not even a written warning, I got to get me one of those Red Cross parking stickers.

 

[motorgod]

WOW....from reading numerous posts about cops only giving cops breaks, I was amazed how many other cops are on this forum....y'all are cops aren't you?.....otherwise we had better get the cops back in line and set 'em straight as to who gets breaks!!!!

 

[racer157]

OK ladies and gentlemen, I think it would be entertaining and enlightening to hear from one and all what works when it comes to excuses for speeding, or statements that actually worked to get you off or away with only a warning.Let 'er rip.

Is it still on fire officer?

 

[otrfjr]

Didn't work, but the guy laughed: "Officer, I'm ADHD: the attention deficit makes me forget the speed limit & the hyperactivity makes me twist the throttle."

 

[bem136]

Real Story –

….(as I was taking off my gloves & helmet and reaching for my wallet I had already place on the set of my parked motorcycle with the LEO approaching on foot)…

B: I’m sorry, no good excuse but that guy on the Harley was swerving in-and-out of traffic on the feeder and come blasting through our lane between me and my buddy and well I simple decided to zing past him when we enter the freeway from the on-ramp…I’m real sorry about doing that.

LEO: Yea, I saw that guy and his naked girlfriend riding like a fool and I was just about to stop him when you blasted bye at 100…that wasn’t very smart. I kinda expected to be talking with a kid (only at heart now ), not someone like you?

B: Yes sir, I have no good excuses, I shouldn’t have blasted past that guy. Again, sorry about letting that squid piss me off.

LEO: Where were you headed before all of this started?

Local BMW dealer, I’m going to buy a new bike and wanted to test ride the R12. (Pre 06' FJR)

LEO: The 1200 is a great bike, I just bought one about a month ago myself. (I see light! )

Really! Those a very nice looking bikes, I can’t wait to get on one … 20 minutes more of bike conversation and a review of my driving record (for the past 7 years :blink: )!

LEO: You need to be a little more careful, your going to cause me some unpleasant work one day otherwise, but I appreciate you wearing good riding gear and I’m not going to ticket you, but please be careful.

Yep, yep occurred just that way!

Regards,

B

 

[airboss]

So does almost count, after passing a kid in a van that tried to play with me, I got pulled over for doing 80 in a 60. the LEO that pulled me over owned a ST1100 he was thinking of trading for an ST1300. No one had ever told him about the FJR. After discussing the merits of the FJr and checking out the egos, I still got the award.......8 over.

 

[BentAero]

Well, you see officer, my wife's about to get pregnant and I want to be there when it happens...

And *after* you get the ticket, ask him if he wants to buy some naked pictures of his wife.

 

[FriscoJim]

Early 1991 I had a CBR600 Hurricane and was cruising the back roads of Texas - Just left Fredicksburg on my way back to San Antonio and was doing between 90 and 115 or so (nice leisurely cruise on a Sunday afternoon) - passed a big ole station wagon and the next time I checked my mirror I saw headlights of a much smaller car - when I looked over my shoulder I saw the flashing lights so I pulled over. When the young State Trooper in the 5.0 litre Mustang caught up to me he asked if I knew why he pulled me over to which I replied "I guess I must have been going too fast". His response was that he clocked me at 66 in a 55 zone. At that point I knew he had no idea how fast I was going - I hadn't been below 70 since 2nd gear and that couldn't have been more than 1/2 mile out of town - I never even saw this guy - had no idea where he came from and didn't have that "Oh s*#t I'm busted" moment - guess I just blew by him at some point. Had Texas plates on the bike and a Pennsylvania license but he just gave me a warning and said to try and keep it under 55 on the way home which I did even though it seemed like I was doing 25mph.

 

[dbvolfan]

Was at a stoplight lined up against a C5 vette and he started reving his engine. Had the wife with me and I normally dont bite but this time I was like, "what the hell, I'll just drop the clutch and play for a while from the light"...no crazy stuff and it was ~10pm.

Light turns green and we both light it up...what neither of us realized was that their was an officer waiting at the same light two cars back...he lit us up!

As I am pulling over my wife is just giving it to me full blast...as the officer approaches, I roll down the window and she is still venting on me...the officer asks for my license, makes a comment about my sudden acceleration from the light and heads back to the car to run my license (meanwhile, the wife is still venting).

He returns like 3 minutes later and mentions that he is going to let me off because it already appears I am in enough trouble with my wife....to throw more salt on the wound he mentions that he was surprised my little wagon kept pace with the C5 and starts talking to me about what mods I have done to the car like I am some regular joe he has met at the bar...this really pissed off the wife who wanted to continue her rant.....

So, I guess my best excuse for getting out of a ticket was having the wife in the carrant/rave at me in front of the officer

BTW, the C5 owner got off as well with a warning too.

 

[RenoJohn]

Got this South of Beatty (north of Las Vegas on 95) on Sunday of Thanksgiving weekend. Had just done a whirlwind ride through AZ, NM and parts of Mexico and was on my way home.

The offer told me: "All I know is that I saw you coming up on that group of cars like they were standing still .....and I clocked them at 85MPH. License and registration please.

I was polite non-arugmentative and told him where my paperwork was and that I'd get it. "ANY GUNS OR WEAPONS?" he asked.

"Yes" I said, "but they're in the saddle bags -my paperwork is in my tank bag."

"Please get it he said".

As I handed him my license, reg and insurance I dropped my line:

"I have a good riding buddy that who is a NHP ...I'm sorry to see that you have to work this holiday weekend, I'm told those (holiday weekends) are the worst for crazies on the road. By the way, do you ride?" (said it as if all the cool NHP guys do)

No response.

He went back to his car, ..got on the mic called in my stuff and then started writing. Fruck I thought to myself.

He then came back to the bike, told me to tell my NHP riding buddy that I caught a big break. He gave me in effect a written warning (in nevada a "rural"). he then started talking about his Harley, ...which I pretended to take interest in.

Obviously I was happy and decided I should take pic of the incident ....and then he offered to take the picture for me LOL.

I LUV Nevada. .....renojohn

 

[Cdogman]

My buddy and I were heading south from Sant Rosa, Just had a little fun with a gal I knew up there. I was in the navy and he a Mareine and we were stationed at NAS Lemoore CA.

Running about 105 or so as he also forgot to tell me he had to must for duty in the morning. 30 Minutes from the base (thats about 50 miles at that rate) and he has to must in 45 minutes.

Running down I5 bout 4am and see a car in front of me (it is dark) and I keep it mashed. As I blow by the car I can make hout "Highway Patrol" on the back. I just start to pull over before he even lights me up....

Officer at window

"In an awful big hurry tonight arent you?"

Me

"yessir I am, my marine buddy here has to must for duty in 45 minutes at the base and he forgot. We were visiting some girls in Santa Rosa today"

Officer

"Whats in the cooler"

I open cooler

"Soda"

He looks inside

Officer

"Well I am gonna go the other way, you might just make your muster"

Off we went, He made it