Temper Control

[donaldb]

I am not sure where else to put this post. I saw that Coyote had posted his unfortuate accident here, so, if this needs to be moved to a more approperate venue I'm sure admin will aptly accomodate accordingly. There is really no need to reply to this thread, I just need a venue to vent as no one where I work rides bikes and has an appreciation for what I am about to tell. So here it goes!

I have just finished up a farkle fest 2 weeks ago and due to weather conditons, this morning was only my 2nd opportunity to ride. Part of my farkle install list included the Nautilus horn (which of all things I still have not used). Now I have joked a little about not being able to wait until my first opportunity to use my new toy, but this mornings commute was absolutly no joking matter. This is the first time in a very,very long time that I have come so close to being hit. Those of you who have taken motorcycle safety foundation courses and the like have learned that you can to a very large degree control what goes on in front of you and to either side, but none of us has any control of what goes on from behind.

My Monday morning commute to work involves areas of congested traffic like most everywhere. I'm traveling on a 4 lane median divided highway, in the inside lane, heavy traffic all around. Traffic ahead has stopped for traffic light and I have rolled off my throttle and slowing as I approach. Then the shrill of breaks are heard through my ear plugs, ck my mirror and all I can see is the front windshield of a piece of **** blue chevy cavalier. This guy is climbing up my ass so far I cant see the front grill or much of the hood of this car. I'm thinking I'm toast. Fortunately for me I have left a good distance between me and the car in front and my speed is probably less than 30 mph and slowing. Somehow by the grace of God this guy gets this piece of **** car slowed up as I see it falling back in my mirror, I loose it, I'm so ***dam* mad I'm shaking. I turn around point at this guy and motion for him to come up beside me as I have pulled to the inside shoulder and stopped. The traffic begins to move forward again about this time and, the guy wont even so much as look at me and drives right on past me, his girl friend's in the passenger seat. A couple cars pass me and apparently this guy saw what happened and lets me back in my lane.

I get a break between traffic and move over into the outside lane and pass a couple cars and get in behind this little prick and he has to stop for trafficlight. Now people I'm 46 years old and I know I should'nt do/act like this, but hell I'm so mad at this point I'm just not thinking straight. I pull onto this inside shoulder stop about his quarterpanel, put the side stand down and walk up to his driver window. This kid might be 18 years old, the headliner is falling down in this piece of crap car and it's tore all to hell and I start beating on this guys drivers window and he wont look at me, his girl friend has a look of horror on her face. I lean around and look at him through his windshield and beat on it until I think it's gonna break, then he rolls his window down just a bit and says HE'S SORRY!!! Well now, that just makes me feel a whole hell of a lot better. I turn loose w/a string if 4 letter words that I haven't used probably in 30 + years on this guy. I cannot remember ever cussing someone like that in my life--out there in morning traffic on a state highway. I don't guess I have ever cussed a person like that before. Commuters this morning got their $'s worth watching this show unfolding before their face. My knees were jerking, my hands were shaking. The last thing I remember telling him was that he should take his irresponsible SORRY ass and get the F*** out of here. I absolutely went postal on this kid. The whole time this took place I have never seen such a I don't give a sh*t look on someones face as this kid had, I mean he truly did not give a dam* that he almost ran over me and did not give a dam* that someone gave him a cussing on the side of the highway in front of his girlfriend.

My confidence in the future of this country and humanity is not good today. Thank you for listening, you can return to normal broadcasting now. Venting over now, I feel a little better, blood pressure returning to normal. Thanx! :angry: :angry: :angry: :angry: :angry:

At least I'm alive to tell about it. I found out last Friday that the little red headed freckled faced kid in my neighborhood where I grew up died last friday. He was 44-massive heart attack. His name was Stephen Farley from Birmingham AL. Goes to show things could be worse. God be with you Steve!

 

[Geezer]

Sorry to hear about your scare donaldb. Stuff like that is why I gave up commuting by bike for a few years. Now I avoid the normal commuting traffic by tele-commuting as much as possible and shifting my work day to start earlier in the day to avoid the traffic when I need to drive/ride in. I know that's not an option for many but there may be ways for you to avoid the heavy traffic.

I can't agree with your reaction. There are certainly times when I'd like to scare the crap out of a cager after he has just done the same to me but you can't win like that. The kid could have had a weapon, or used his car as a weapon. He could also have you charged with assault. Anything that looks like road rage these days will lose in court.

Besides, you might have injured your throttle hand ....

 

[Duff]

On a related note, I had a woman turn right in to me while I was in UT last summer. I had to hit the brakes, the other lane and the horn. I REALLY don't think she even realized what she did. Next light I was behind her when we stopped so I dropped the kick stand, got off and walked up beside her. I knocked on the window and she surprised me by rolling it down. I tried to keep my temper and said something to the effect of: "Even though you just cut me off and nearly ran me off the road, I wanted to let you know that your right rear tire is almost flat." (You can imagine my tone of voice) She said she never even saw me and turned at the next light to check the tire... it really WAS flat. :bleh:

Sometimes it's hard to be nice when people are stupid. Sometimes it's easy to be stupid when you're mad. I agree that your reaction may not have been the right one... tough to know exactly how I would have reacted :erm:

 

[radman]

Man, you are ****** up. Get some help before someone sticks a nine in your face and alters your reality for good. Getting pissed is one thing, looking for a fight is another.

 

[wheatonFJR]

donaldb,

I can [SIZE=14pt]Definitely[/SIZE] relate to the emotion.

I have no control over the idiots behind me, so I have abandoned riding the 10 miles to work in suburban traffic. What should be a fun way to commute totally pisses me off because of the complete disregard for human life by the relentless tailgators behind me. I can take a tailgator now or then for short stretches maybe, but not for the whole ride by cell-phone yacking creeps who will say "Oh! I couldn't stop in time, he stopped all of a sudden" when the cops ask why they ran my ass over.

I have only averaged about 8 or 9k a year because I now choose to ride only on weekends, on trips, or occasionally during the week during the summer when I need to "get out of dodge".

 

[donaldb]

Look folks what I did was very, very wrong. Everything about the way I handled it was wrong, stupid, stupid, stupid :nono: :nono: We all learn through experience not to ride while/when upset or mad as that is when accidents happen. Fortunately for me this time everything worked out. Maybe next time if I were to do something like that again the outcome might not be as good.

Sometimes I just get so pissed at the irresponsible and inconsiderate attitude of people these days and I guess when the time comes that I am no longer willing to accept such behavior then I need to get off my bike and go back to cages. I just think it's too bad that I have no more faith in my common man than that. One of the basic rules is to ride like you have a target fixated to your back, a state of constant defensive driving magnefied. I shake my head at stupidity, uncaring cagers, as I am almost always able to retain some control over what is about to happen. You can see it coming together, you know it's gonna happen, you have some control over the outcome. Today was just different for some reason (probably because I had no control what was happening from behind). I am suprised there was not a serious ass woop'in either mine or his on that highway this morning. I would not have cared if the guy was a 800 lb gorilla my reaction would have been the same--and that aint good! Hopefully, I can control my reaction/emotions a bit better next time. I guess you people whould have to know me when I say this type behavior is totally out of character for me.

 

[radman]

Out of character or not, try to recall the recent thread where the confrontation in Dover, Delaware between 2 HD riders and a guy with a Suburban ended with one rider dead and the Sub driver gone for many years. Go looking for a fight on a scoot, it's possible someday you may find one, and not live to regret it.

 

[Thumperbike]

Saturday....

Tucson Region

Driver held in motorcyclist death

Marana motorist suspected of hitting rider in road rage

By Djamila Grossman

Arizona Daily Star

Tucson, Arizona | Published: 03.27.2006

advertisementA Marana man who police say used his minivan to intentionally strike the back of a motorcycle, killing the rider, was booked into jail Sunday on suspicion of second-degree murder.

Edmond Gonzalez Jr., 42, who was driving on a suspended driver's license, was driving west on East Golf Links Road shortly after noon Saturday in a red 2005 Dodge Caravan, when he started chasing a motorcyclist, striking its rear with the left side of his van and leaving the scene of the fatal crash, said Sgt. Mark Robinson, a Tucson Police Department spokesman.

Vince Schoenherr, 45, lost control of his 2005 Harley-Davidson and was thrown underneath an eastbound car waiting to make a U-turn near the intersection of Golf Links and South Mann Avenue. He was pronounced dead at the scene, according to a Tucson Police Department news release. Schoenherr was not wearing a helmet.

Gonzalez "made a deliberate movement to strike that motorcycle," Robinson said, calling it a case of road rage. "I can't think of another documented incident like that."

Witnesses told police that Gonzalez was upset over "personal matters" and was driving aggressively, including speeding, following other cars too closely, cutting cars off and weaving in and out of traffic, Robinson said.

Police said Gonzalez and Schoenherr got into an argument regarding Gonzalez's aggressive driving while they both drove west on East Golf Links Road. After the argument, police said Schoenherr tried to distance himself from the minivan, but Gonzalez chased the motorcycle and rammed it, causing Schoenherr to crash.

Detectives located the van about 12:45 a.m. Sunday at Gonzalez's house in the 13900 block of West Grier Road, Robinson said.

Gonzalez was booked into the Pima County jail on one count each of second-degree murder and leaving the scene of a fatal traffic accident, the release said. Gonzalez is being held on a $300,000 bond. In addition to driving on a suspended license for driving under the influence, Gonzalez's criminal history includes charges on aggravated assault, aggravated DUI, failure to carry a vehicle registration card, driving without a valid driver's license and driving with a suspended license, according to Pima County Justice Court online records.

Gonzalez declined an interview request Sunday.

● Contact reporter Djamila Grossman at 971-1839 or [email protected].

 

[donaldb]

Ok guys then fill me in, just how would you have handled this situation? That's what this forum is all about--an education tool, maybe I will learn something as well as some others. Absolutely true that the ole feejer is no match for a cage, I'll loose that fight every time, should someone choose to use the cage as a weapon. The situations you have brought forth I think are the exception and not the rule. So, should I have confronted this guy in any sort of way? form? fashion? there on the highway? or not confront at all? I've already admitted the way I conducted myself was wrong, but what if anything would you have done--or done differently? If I did not confront the guy about what he did at the time he did it, maybe he'll continue to think he could continue this behavior w/no consequence. Did I possibly make things any better or did I make things worse? I do not mean to imply that this guys behavior/act was intentional, but I will go so far as to imply that based upon what I saw/experienced, his acts were grossly negligent, inconsiderate and uncaring. So, what do we do? Help a guy out here, I'll try to put your advice to future good use--should this sort of unfortunate situation ever arise again. What does MCN say about this type situation in there riding safety tips section?

 

[Derek]

david hough answers your question in "proficient motorcycling" you should "GET OVER IT"

the following chapter is "YOU'RE ONLY PARANOID IF THEY AREN'T OUT TO GET YOU"

we all know **** happens. when i get wound up too tight i pull over for a smoke untill i calm down and feel safe again. you have to find whatever works for you to put the mellow back in your ride when things get tense.

derek

 

[MCRIDER007]

Ok guys then fill me in, just how would you have handled this situation? That's what this forum is all about--an education tool, maybe I will learn something as well as some others. Absolutely true that the ole feejer is no match for a cage, I'll loose that fight every time, should someone choose to use the cage as a weapon. The situations you have brought forth I think are the exception and not the rule. So, should I have confronted this guy in any sort of way? form? fashion? there on the highway? or not confront at all?

Not being in your shoes it is difficult to know what I would have done but I hope when I realized that I was about to get creamed from the rear I would have done something to get out of the way -- go right, go left, hit the gas -- something. Maybe you did something to avoid being hit besides bracing for the impact but it isn't obvious from your post.

Confront the driver? Sure, at the scene, by yelling, shaking your fist, giving him the finger. but that's it. He got your message, let him go, stay behind him, and calm down. His acts may have negligent at the scene but your acts afterwards were intentional and if a cop had shown up you would have been the one in handcuffs.

You are lucky that nothing else happened -- learn from it -- and get out of the way the next time it looks like some idiot is going to hit you from behind.

 

[Ignacio]

My usual deal:

If it's that bad, get a plate and description, and turn them into the cops. Emphasize how you were almost killed. Ask the cops to follow up with you. In that case they might at least look them up and if they have anything else on their record they might contact them and stumble across the baggie of meth they have or violate their probation because of smacking somebody else a month earlier.

Personally, as I go by I shake my head in utter disappointment like mom would.

 

[crewof1]

I've said it before, the best thing to do is also the hardest: NOTHING. Just drive away, be thankful that you're alive.

I have a very hard time swallowing that kind of anger, too, but it's really the only way. Around here (Alabama), giving the finger or even shaking your head in disgust can get you chased down and in for a fight. Remember, it's always the one that responds to some ****** not paying attention that gets labeled as the road rager, never the one that started it to begin with.

Just do not respond and ride away. One of the toughest lessons I have to teach myself regularly.

Sorry about your incident and I hope you feel better about it. Sometimes it takes me a couple of days to get over something like that.

 

[Bounce]

I hate that there's little we can do. In a country where entire police departments are publicly chastized for using their patrol cars to run bikes off the road (even when they aren't running), it's going to be a long, cold day in Hell before anyone (other than fellow riders) cares.

The loss of personal responsibility is the biggest problem we have in this country (not AIDS, not crime, not drug abuse). The ability for entire generation of people to go about their lives and not consider that what they do has an impact on others; knowing that they won't ever answer if their actions hurt or kill someone.

But there's as good a chance that any confrontation (angry or not) could end up with you being killed after surviving the actual traffic indicent. They don't need a gun. The car can do it and they can claim they were in fear of their lives from some insane biker.

Calling the cops won't help unless you have witnesses and their phone numbers/addresses. Even then simple assault would be a $500 fine that would require you and your witnesses to appear in court. And unless they actually hit you, assault charges probably won't be filed.

Like someone else said, the right thing to do is also the hardest - nothing. Calm down, be glad you survived, evaluate the incident to see if you can learn anything to reduce the risk in the future. Otherwise, once you take it to them, you could be facing charges (or worse).

Remember that the wonks defining "road rage" ignore the actions that start the chain of events (poor driving) and lay everything at the feet of the people who react to the initiators.

 

[radman]

 

[donaldb]

This was me through his windshield!--I guess I would not have opened the window either!

You know hundreds of times I have responded as several here have suggested, shook my head, flipped them the finger, shook the fist, etc. It's just that this time it was a much worse situation, and doing nothing at that moment just didn't seem to be approperate. If I could take back some of what I did, I would, but I wont take back anything if my only other alternative was to do nothing. I probably would'nt have been so pissed if the guy hadn't acted like I wasnt even there, to just drive off and not even look at me, mouthed that he was sorry, something, anything to show some form of remorse, I probably would have just ridden on off. If nothing else next time maybe this cager/driver will be maybe just a little more attentive and considerate.....NOT! :assasin:

 

[Geezer]

Is it possible that you were partly pissed at yourself for not having seen him coming a little sooner? I doubt there is an experienced biker out there who hasn't had to dive for the shoulder to escape a rear ender. I know it was not your fault and there was nothing you could have done about it, but the element of surprise may be what pushed you over the edge.

Oh, and it is good to see that you are seeking advice and not taking our comments the wrong way... except for Radman's comments, of course

 

[donaldb]

Oh, and it is good to see that you are seeking advice and not taking our comments the wrong way... except for Radman's comments, of course

What! me not handle some good ole fashion constructive criticism???? :bleh: :bleh: I'm a tort liability claims manager for God's sake--I'm that SOB on the phone that denies your insurance claim!!---I cant afford to take things to seriously--except running over my ass!!!!!! now that, I kinda take a seriously, some here may say I take it just a little too seriously!

 

[NoCage]

I agree with Crew, Bounce, and some others... do nothing, and that's hardest.

Next time, just vent here... we don't want to read about you in a similar story to the 2 stories mentioned in this thread.

Like someone else mentioned, the lesson here is stay far enough behind the next car (which you did), and have an escape route picked out. After stopping I always leave the bike in gear, pointed to an escape route, watching my "6".

I think it's an accumulation of stupid cage tricks that gets to you (at least me). It's sort of the "straw that broke the camel's back" type of thing. My guess is you held your temper and just drove away from several of these before you snapped.

When I feel like I'm ready to snap, I imagine, as vividly as I can, being hit by the cage, laying on the pavement bleeding to death. While grisly, it does the job and I just ride away.